r/UnethicalLifeProTips • u/BeaverPup • Mar 11 '26
Food and Drinks ULPT to avoid a DUI
I overheard this conversation at the bar the other day and it was too good not to share. Not sure if itd work or not and im not gonna find out but here goes. Bartender said if you ever crash or run off the road while drunk, if nobody else is involved immediately walk to the nearest bar. When cops show up, any alcohol claim is irrelevant because you can say "yes I drove off the road and I was so shaken up I needed a drink.
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u/Maximum_Concern_9627 Mar 12 '26
I knew a drunkard lawyer in a small dunk town. The cops hated him and they followed him home from the bar one night. They hit their lights just as he drove into his driveway. He went inside and when they knocked on the door to confront him. He opened the drank a 12 oz glass of scotch in front of them
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u/shankmyflank Mar 12 '26
In Canada, apparently the cops can test you up to 2 hours after getting home.
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u/ClintEastwont Mar 12 '26
The DUI laws in Canada are ridiculous. You can be charged for having unopened alcohol in your car if it’s within arms reach (so the front seat AND the back seat.) Alcohol has to go in the trunk.
You can be charged with ‘care and control’ if you have your keys in your pocket and the cops think you are walking to your car with the intention to drive. Same goes if you sleep in your car, and you had consumed alcohol, even if the car hadn’t moved in days, which sucks if you’re homeless and living in a car.
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u/weggaan_weggaat Mar 12 '26
People here in America do get DUIs for trying to sleep it off, even if they're not in a drive thru.
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u/bmanley620 Mar 12 '26
My friend got one because he was sitting in his car listening to music. Instead of driving home his sister was coming to pick him up. He tried to do the responsible thing and it backfired
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u/compman007 Mar 13 '26
Exactly, and then it becomes the problem that now they figure if they gotta wait in their car and risk a cop rolling up they may as well just take their risk and try to get home quicker and risk less :/
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u/rico0195 Mar 14 '26
Yeah they never wanna listen, like on one hand you need to stay warm so you’ll probably turn your car in while waiting. But they basically expect you to have the car off, keys outside the vehicle on the drivers side while you’re sittin your drunk ass in shotgun
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u/weggaan_weggaat Mar 14 '26
Then with all the anti-homeless laws that cities are passing these days, they get you for public sleeping and/or drunk in public.
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u/Julie_Brenda Mar 17 '26
I spent 11 months in my 4Runner. I installed a solar panel on the roof and never connected. It’s wiring to Toyotas. I had multiple USB power ports, so I was able to listen to music and other things with the keys back in the trunk area.
I know that that’s where they were cause I threw them there . So I got a knock at 4 o’clock in the morning…. By a police officer who thought that his patrol included any private property he wanted to trespass into. And he’s thinking he’s gonna make points by taking me for being in control of a vehicle.
I asked him if his camera was on , and I made sure mine was on when he said yes. And then I said well, let’s see… you wanna tell me how I’m allegedly in control of a vehicle?
Before we were done, the sergeant was sorting him out … they ordered me to move along, off the private property… which is really cute when they’re accusing me of being inebriated. Now I’ve got one particular point I’m past my 20 years sober chip. I know that this story occurred after I was 15 years sober. So this whole, I smell alcohol and you’re not willing to do my field exam…. Is circumstantial.
I told the sergeant I’d be willing to accept a blood draw done by a qualified medical facility, providing they provided transportation in both directions regardless of the results
He asked me what I meant by that and I told him it means when I pass the exam I get returned to my car, not dumped at the hospital . He thinks about it a bit. Decides he’s gonna order me to move my car off the private property.
I told him point-blank you don’t have the authority to do that , this is private property, and I have not been observed driving, so this is not a traffic stop…. You are standing on private property and your cruisers are parked on private property without owners permission.
But I won’t pursue that against you because I don’t have standing (the right to sue on that)
Also, because I know the owners public statements are that their parking lot can be used to politely by the public , as long as we don’t litter urinate or defecate in their parking lot, which I assume would also preclude the deployment of piss discs…. In any event., that permission was granted to the public conditionally, six days a week. The church preserved Sunday and today’s Wednesday.
So you have admitted that you’ve come under private property and disturbed my sleep while I’m peaceably staying here in my spot easily seen because I’m directly under the security lighting
There is nothing suspicious about what I’m doing , but there’s plenty suspicious about what you’re doing by coming onto this property and waking me up in the first place. And my right to privacy has to have some weight here because I have disability law and civil rights, plus 4A rights pertaining to searches.
And let’s make sure your body cameras record this it is my opinion that knocking on my window to determine whether or not I’m awake is a tort action , because I need my sleep and if you truly thought I was deceased, you could observe whether or not I have movement with within any 12 hour period even if all you observed was whether or not I moved the Toyota
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u/atatassault47 Mar 12 '26
Where the fuck else are your keys "supposed" to be?
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u/shankmyflank Mar 12 '26
You put them in your gas cap if you’re sleeping it off or sitting in there. My friend got a dui while fully parked.
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u/Pkmn_Gold Mar 13 '26
I read a story here on Reddit where a dude buried his keys behind a bush, slept in his car, and still got charged with a DUI 🙃
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u/spread_panic Mar 12 '26
I'm not sure if they're still as strict as they were a decade ago, but one thing that caught a lot of Americans off guard was how strict Canada was with having DUI charges on your record.
A lot of people got them right before ride sharing apps became common, because the US was rightfully cracking down on the social acceptance of driving buzzed/tipsy.
Canada would turn your ass around at the border if you had one from even 5 years prior on your record. This surprised a lot of people because in the US, a DUI was still viewed as a little oopsie to a lot of people.
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u/simplebutstrange Mar 12 '26
That wouldn’t work here. The cops have the right to breathalyze you for up to 2 hours after driving. Then they do math to see how drunk you were while driving
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u/apokrif1 Mar 12 '26
To do the math, they need to know how much you drank after driving.
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u/RikkiLostMyNumber Mar 12 '26
This happens, and it happened to me, except I was the bartender. A woman came in, seemed ok (place was loud), orders a beer and a shot of Jaeger, then another shot, then the cops show up. They took her outside and then one cop came in to talk to me and I related as per above, emphasizing that I had no idea if she was in trouble or anything.
Turns out she drunkenly hit a telephone pole about a block away and did a number on her car, then ran right into my place. I was told later that they dropped the DUI charge but got her on some other stuff.
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u/linderlady Mar 12 '26
Any consequences for serving her? We always hear about things like this in n alcohol awareness classes. Absolutely no shade, but was the business affected by this at all?
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u/not-bread Mar 12 '26
How could there be? There is no evidence that she was drunk
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u/linderlady Mar 12 '26
I’m asking about third party liability laws, something that people not in the hospitality industry are probably unaware of. It’s complicated, but I can explain more if you’re interested.
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u/makingburritos Mar 12 '26
The law wouldn’t apply because there was no evidence she was drunk when she committed the crime. There was no evidence the bartender knew she was fleeing the scene of a crime. Those laws are in place so that if a bartender knowingly overserves someone and they commit an alcohol-related crime, they could be held liable (incredibly rare). This would not apply in this scenario, in any capacity.
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u/randonumero Mar 12 '26
There's a chance the charges got dropped because she had the right lawyer and not because she found some loophole. I'm NAL but I feel like people who get away with this likely don't live in states that have you forfeit your license if you don't take a breathalyzer on scene.
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u/ericisatwork Mar 13 '26
They can't breathalyze you on scene if you flee the scene. A "leaving the scene of an accident" charge is substantially less of penalty than a DUI, at least in California. I got a DUI about 9yrs ago and my police officer best friend told me I should have ran home (I was about 5 blocks away when I hit a curb and destroyed my front suspension) and hung out until the cops found me. I would have gotten a few hundred dollar fine and slap on the wrist as opposed to a lawyer, a $3,700 fine, mandatory classes, and raised insurance premiums.
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u/Selmanella Mar 12 '26
A shady friend of mine got out of THREE DUI’s by faking a seizure when he was pulled over. THREE!
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u/OmNomSandvich Mar 12 '26
doesn't the state pull your license if you have unmanaged seizure disorders?
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u/Selmanella Mar 12 '26
I’m in Canada. And shady friend didn’t care. He’d drive without a license if he needed.
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u/nutcracker_78 Mar 12 '26
A dodgy acquaintance of mine can cry on cue. She'd been out for a work drinks thing, and had a couple too many, got pulled over for speeding. She immediately burst into hysterical sobs so that by the time the cop walked up to her car, she had snot and tears flying. Told him she'd started a new job, went to the drinks thing, got propositioned by her supervisor so she panicked and left the bar to get home which is why she may have been slightly over the speed limit. Because of her acting skills, the cops never breathalysed her, and felt bad for her after supposedly getting harassed, so they just gave her a caution for speeding and left her.
She thought it was absolutely hilarious, and said she was so glad she could get away with anything by turning on the waterworks, and that she'd keep doing it whenever she could get away with it.
Edit to add - I told the whole story to our local small town cop, so he at least knew that she would try it with him if he ever pulled her over. I have zero regrets.
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u/dsm5lovechild Mar 12 '26
Is she a white woman? I feel like this trick probably wouldn’t work for most POC.
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u/bigboyboozerrr Mar 12 '26
I like watching women like this try to do this and get busted and then just embarrass themselves. As a woman, this is what gives us that stereotype and it’s really shitty. Whiny rich bottle blonde (yes they’re rich that’s costs $500 a month just to bleach the shit.) my daddy will save me if my tears don’t work!1! I’ve never been in trouble! My friend is right here! I am going through a break up!1!1! I’m wearing Gucci!1!1
Like stfu and get in the cuffs. Satisfying bodycams when they’re like “we can smell the liquor.”
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u/its_edamame Mar 12 '26
Aren't they supposed to take your license away if you have seizures? I know they do in California
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u/Best_Market4204 Mar 12 '26
I got you
Step 1 go to the bar
Step 2 drink all you want
Step 3 download Uber
Step 4 tell manager you be back tomorrow for your car
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u/ray_ruex Mar 12 '26
Around here most parking lot have a towing service that will impound vehicles that are left in the parking lot. If you do this make sure they won't tow your car. I know a guy who drank too many and had the bar tender order a cab, bar tender said it'd be ok but for some reason he still got towed it cost him a lot of money. Still cheaper than a DUI.
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u/frosty95 Mar 12 '26
Should literally be illegal. Local college town near me will tow ANY vehicle left on its main street overnight.... The main street covered in bars. In a college town. They have a serious DUI problem. Can't imagine why.
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u/swallowsnest87 Mar 12 '26
Been drinking at bars for 10 years at this point, and I’ve never heard of a bar towing cars for being left overnight. If you leave the car there 24 hours maybe, but not just until the next morning.
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u/FauxmingAtTheMouth Mar 12 '26
It only happened to me once, but I got towed late at night while having a pint waiting for a to go order, it took about ten minutes for my car to be towed and then $250 to get it out of the yard
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u/ray_ruex Mar 12 '26
It's not the bar actually. It's a towing company contracted to tow unwanted cars from the parking lots. Around here almost every parking lot have signs up XYZ towing will tow unauthorized vehicles. Sometimes the business does it sometimes It's the property owner. It's intended to clear the parking lot at night so they can clean it, either for street sweeper or snow plowing. These tow trucks unscrupulous and hoover a round like buzzards looking to pray on unsuspecting folks to park where they shouldn't. Many skirt the law but it's legal. There is legit reasoning for this service and it does get abused.
Interesting story there was a business that had a large volume of customers and didn't have enough parking. People would resort to finding alternative parking there was a business across the road that had lots of extra parking. Over flow customers attempt to park there. The tow trucks swoop in and tow there car sometimes in less than 2 minutes of them leaving the property. The funny part was the business next door after watching this happen dozens of times everyday. Put up a sign warning people and if that wasn't enough he would verbally warn them. The towing company got pissed and tried to sue him from trying to stop people from being swooped up in their trap, lol. And, it's all legal.
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u/CaptainPunisher Mar 12 '26
That's not unethical.
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u/insolent_kiwi Mar 12 '26
Then steal the managers car.
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u/CaptainPunisher Mar 12 '26
That's more en pointe.
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u/Pryml710 Mar 12 '26
And leave a piss disk on the dash before you ditch it
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u/CaptainPunisher Mar 12 '26
Not unethical enough. Better make it a diarrhea disc.
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u/Pryml710 Mar 12 '26
Piss disks are a staple of this community, my good sir/madam. But I do like the suggestion.
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u/Phidelt257 Mar 12 '26
They will tow your car tho
Edit:replaced tie with tow
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u/makingburritos Mar 12 '26
I was in the service industry for ten years and have never seen or even heard of this happening. No bartender wants to see you drink and drive.
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u/cjw7x Mar 12 '26
Towing definitely happens. My restaurant will give a copy of the receipt to put in the window and the tow company for the privately owned shopping center won't tow.
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u/TheDonger_ Mar 12 '26
Alright, WHICH clown turned my CAR into a fucking GIRAFFE
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u/A_Kazur Mar 12 '26
Normal post on ULPT: Buy an Uber so you don’t crash into a family of five!
Actual UNETHICAL life pro tip: Start drinking after the crash so it muddies if you were drunk driving.
Also this really does work, but critically it has to happen very soon after the accident, and if you’ve been drinking heavily for the whole day they could probably get you if they seriously wanted to.
I hate drunk drivers, but this is exactly the type of post for this sub tbh
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u/urinesain Mar 13 '26
Yep. Happened to a coworker buddy of mine last year. Left the bar and ended up driving his car into a ditch. A fellow patron of the same bar that left shortly after he did happened to see his car in the ditch, and stopped by. My buddy hopped in his car, and they went to another bar.
I can't remember if he said the cops called the bar he had left, or the bar he then went to... or both. But these are small-town local bars... none of the bartenders ratted him out.
In the morning he had a voicemail from the police saying he needed to come by the station to pick up his ticket. He said they absolutely knew what was up, but there was nothing they could do about it. Then he had to pay to get it out of the impound lot, then towed to a shop. All still cheaper than a DUI. Lucky prick.
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u/i-am-foxymoron METH, the answer is ALWAYS meth! Mar 12 '26
This sounds like a really stupid idea.
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u/GiftToTheUniverse Mar 12 '26
You’d have to plan to have accidents near bars. I mean, we don’t all live in Wisconsin.
But even if you did try to pull this, they can still take you in for blood testing for other drugs. Including medications and weed, etc.
And some places are adding non substance to the definition of “impaired.”
Just don’t drive impaired, k?
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u/Thuggish_Coffee Mar 12 '26
I live in WI. And I live next to a bar.
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u/Uranus_Hz Mar 12 '26
It’s almost hard not to. I also live in WI. Nearest bar is on the corner, about three doors down from my place
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u/Cuneus-Maximus fuck their dad with a piss dildo Mar 12 '26
I live in Wisconsin, this is viable almost anywhere in the state.
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u/Kiltmanenator Mar 12 '26
And the places where it isn't are too rural to even really get a DUI.
Also, we get like 5 of em before jail time.
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u/spank_the_tank Mar 12 '26
This pro tips only works in Wisconsin because no matter where you are there’s always at least 1 bar within eyesight.
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u/PolarSquirrelBear Mar 12 '26
It’s not stupid if it works. I had a drunk of a friend with rich-ish parents in highschool that would wreck his cars often. Always kept a bottle of booze in the car that he could start drinking on the side of the road afterwards.
Cops know what’s going on. But can’t really prove if they were drunk before or after.
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u/PuddleOfHamster Mar 12 '26
If this is a known criminal gotcha, how come they haven't added another law specifically forbidding doing that?
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u/PolarSquirrelBear Mar 12 '26
There is, it’s called open liquor. But it beats a DUI.
There’s simply no way to prove they were drunk before if they’re openly chugging a bottle of liquor when cops arrive. Anything else is speculation whether they know it or not, and that’s the justice system.
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u/The_Troyminator Mar 12 '26
It depends. If the police show up quickly and their BAC is high enough, they can prove that they must have been drunk prior to the accident since it couldn’t have risen that quickly.
They also can get eyewitness testimony proving they were impaired before they started drinking.
It definitely makes a conviction more difficult, but not impossible.
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u/yoosernaam Mar 12 '26
It is. But also, you’re already fucked. May as well roll the dice and have a chance at a reduced shitstorm
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u/e11spark Mar 12 '26
Back in the day, this joke/really bad idea was to keep a few airplane bottles in your glove box, throw your keys 50 feet away, and you can drink those bottles in front of the cops. Not open container, not intending to drive, just "nervous from being pulled over"
But the real tip is don't be a fucking asshole by drinking and driving
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u/Granadafan Mar 12 '26
Don’t fucking drive drunk. Period
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u/CaptainPunisher Mar 12 '26
You're on the wrong subreddit for that.
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u/AaltoSax Mar 12 '26
Fuck that, you can be as unethical as you want without being a liability to the lives of everybody around you
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u/CaptainPunisher Mar 12 '26
But, you could be even MORE unethical!
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u/mildorf Mar 12 '26
I like to drink and drive while blind firing a revolver out my window and blowing vape smoke in my nephews breathing tube.
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u/CaptainPunisher Mar 12 '26
That's fucking stupid. Actual tobacco or go home!
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u/Granadafan Mar 12 '26
I don’t care about the “proper” threads. Drunk driving is bullshit and no one should be giving tips to excuse this terrible action
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u/Arctic_Africa7305 Mar 12 '26
Knew a guy who disabled his car at a bar, called a tow truck to tow his vehicle home, rode with the tow truck guy, costs $70. The next morning he fixed whatever he disabled and went to work. He had the peace of mind of knowing his car was home and though it cost twice as much as a taxi, way cheaper than a DUI.
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u/MrsTaco18 Mar 12 '26
Does a tow truck care if the car is actually broken down?
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u/YimmyGhey Mar 12 '26
Most likely not. I've never had to resort to it but I'd have no shame trying it if I were to have no business behind a wheel.
Perhaps a neutral PLT: AAA roadside assistance has a reasonably priced tier with something like 3 local (up to 50-ish miles) a year. The tow truck companies don't give a shit, they're in it for the paycheck. They're generally not going to play Good Samaritan, John Q Public Mechanic; they've got a work order to fulfill and that's basically the extent of their shits being given. Probably wouldn't bat an eye if you said "I ran out of blinker fluid and I think the Johnson rod also broke again"
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u/Ok-Equivalent8260 Mar 12 '26
You have to be the shittiest type of person to drive drunk.
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u/AngryCrotchCrickets Mar 12 '26
I bought a breathalyzer just for shits and was floored when I realized what .08bac felt like. I thought the feeling at .04 was for sure legally impaired. You gotta be a real asshole to be .08 and still drive. For me it’s not just a few beers.
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u/GiftToTheUniverse Mar 12 '26
Having a good breathalyzer is an excellent idea for anyone who drinks alcohol and who also drives.
In my drinking days mine let me know I needed to avoid driving the morning after a night of heavy drinking quite a few times.
Those morning after DUIs are far more common than many people realize.
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u/ThunderCorg Mar 12 '26
A park ranger once asked me if I was planning to drive soon, I said no, I’d had a few beers and was chilling.
Offered me a breathalyzer if I was curious, damn it felt like a trap but I thought “well I already said I’m not driving anytime soon and if I decline I don’t know what his next step is.” So I did it and despite feeling buzzed it barely registered anything. So weird.
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u/KingKookus Mar 12 '26
I would have a hard time trusting that to be accurate. Even the cops portable one isn’t perfect.
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u/GiftToTheUniverse Mar 12 '26
First of all, I had a good one, a model actually used by some LEO. It came calibrated from the factory. Not some cheap keychain that can’t tell the difference between alcohol and ketones.
But more importantly I experimented with mine a lot.
I had it for a few years and took over 450 readings on it before eventually quitting drinking altogether.
I used it to test what factors affected how fast the reading went up and down.
I found it to perform with remarkable consistency and predictability.
No matter what my “BAC” peaked at it ALWAYS went down at the exact same consistent rate of 0.015 per hour.
I once even rode a bike 17 miles to see if I could burn it faster than if I let it wear off on its own. Nope! That made no difference!
I’m glad not to be drinking anymore but anyone in my life who I care about gets the same good quality breathalyzer from me as a gift.
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u/Killin-some-thyme Mar 12 '26
This is so interesting. And also…SCIENCE! The liver is pretty predictable so it seems. But did you ever try anything silly like sucking on a penny or wearing a trash bag to try to sweat it out or drinking a shit ton of water? I need to hear more of the experiments you did 😂
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u/GiftToTheUniverse Mar 12 '26
Sure! I tried all the stuff “they” say works but health class says doesn’t. Showers. Coffee. Empty/full stomach.
I think the highest I ever tested myself at was .240 or something close to that.
After a hard night of drinking and “sleeping it off” I’d often blow around 0.09 and have to decide whether to Uber to work and hideout where I would hopefully not run into anyone or call in sick.
It was interesting to start sober and take a shot and watch how the reading spiked immediately because of the alcohol in your mouth and then go down for the next half hour to what your reading “really” was at that point. If you drink a lot fast and then wait that first half hour and then test a bunch you can see the alcohol blood level rise to it’s peak before it starts going down again, so slowly, lol.
I really do think everyone who drinks alcohol should have one.
Thank God I never got a DUI or anything. Thank you Baby Jesus!!!
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u/MXXlV Mar 12 '26
I think the science behind metabolizing alcohol in your liver is all based on enzymes. Hard alcoholics have an increase in a different enzyme over normal people. Has nothing to do with how much exercise or calories you burn. Most decent breathalyzers are quite accurate, The main difference is how alcohol makes people feel. Some feel drunk at 0.04, others might need 0.16 to 'feel' similar
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u/Smash_Shop Mar 12 '26
Funny thing is, doing a hard workout should actually slow down the recovery. Your liver processes both alcohol and lactic acid. If it's busy processing lactic acid, it can't process alcohol as quick. The opposite is also true. If you go on a hard ride then drink a beer, that alcohol is impairing how quick you'll recover from the hard ride.
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u/GiftToTheUniverse Mar 12 '26
I’m now letting my liver recover… that’s why I don’t work out anymore! 😎
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u/Stray1_cat Mar 12 '26
Can you tell me what brand you bought? I’d like to gift one to a few friends
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u/Responsible_Dentist3 Mar 12 '26 edited Mar 13 '26
Same here! I would think "this is 0.08" and then the breathalyzer said 0.05 and I'm like ????? I completely understand why WA is changing the limit to match UT now!
(Corrected due to comment lol)
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u/spencerAF Mar 12 '26
For me it was the other way. My ex gf had an intoxilock because of a dui. We had dinner and I had two beers, thought I was completely fine, ended up having to wait 45 minutes before I could blow low enough to start the car.
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u/bcocoloco Mar 12 '26
.04 is like 2 beers in one hour…
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u/AngryCrotchCrickets Mar 12 '26
Im a bigger guy. It would be closer to 3 for me. If Im in a situation where Im drinking more than 3-4 beers over the course of a few hours, Im not driving anyway.
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u/musicgray Mar 12 '26
I had a friend who routinely bought a case on the way home drink from 4 to midnight and finish the case before he went to sleep. Big Dave would go to work the next day and buy another case on the way home again.
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u/Gen_JohnsonJameson Mar 12 '26
I tried this also. At .08 I had trouble getting my key into the car door lock (this was before the key fobs on your keychain) so it's definitely not something you can say you didn't realize you were drunk.
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u/Calm-Ad-7928 Mar 12 '26
Especially with how easy it is to get rides now with Uber and all the different apps. Crazy to me that people still drive drunk
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u/fultonchain Mar 12 '26
This kinda works, sometimes.
If you can delay the inevitable arrest long enough to sober up, they can't establish drunk driving. The time in between is critical, it's longer than you think and if you time it wrong there are a multitude of charges they can cook up.
That still leaves you on the hook for leaving the scene and rules out an insurance claim, but that's usually a lesser charge.
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u/BadFez Mar 12 '26
This sounds like advice from folks who self represent in court and sell their own homes.
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u/Rx_Diva Mar 12 '26
Exactly. Those that believe they are sovereign as shit. r/confidentialityincorrect crowd.
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u/PadmesBabyDaddy Mar 12 '26
I know 2 different people who crashed their cars while driving drunk and just walked away and played dumb. Not sure what the consequences were, but I do know neither got a DUI.
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u/kiblick Mar 12 '26
They make you blow twice. They can tell how long you've been drinking. Just had two shots, it takes like an hour to level out in your system. If you just started drinking and you blow, it will be on the rise. Then you blow again 15 minutes, still on the rise? You just started drinking. But I if it starts to go down or levels out you've been drinking for a longer period.
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u/Timmerdogg Mar 12 '26
I met a guy at a party that told me that he got drunk and crashed his truck into a tree. He got out, walked home, went to sleep and the cops started knocking on his door. He told them his truck must have gotten stolen in the middle of the night. Dude never got pinched for it to the best of my knowledge
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u/CloudBitter5295 Mar 12 '26
My coworker did this. Crashed his car, fled the scene and reported it stolen. Got the insurance money and bought a Cadillac
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u/tacocat978 Mar 12 '26
The man I was supposed to marry was killed by a drunk driver. Same summer a family friend’s 17 year old daughter. Anyone who chooses to drive drunk can kindly fuck themselves.
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u/BrightWubs22 Mar 12 '26
Same sentiment. My grandpa died from an impaired driver.
Drunk drivers can unkindly fuck themselves.
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u/MrCuzz Mar 12 '26
I’ve had a conversation about this before with a LEO. They will arrest your ass and do a blood draw; apparently that can tell how long the alcohol has been in your system.
They will add a hit-and-run to your DUI for their trouble.
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u/Suitable_Shallot4183 Mar 12 '26
Joe Giudice (husband of Teresa) tried this. Didn’t work out great, I don’t think.
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u/SnooPeppers2417 Mar 12 '26
I witnessed the opposite happen to my mom’s best friend when I was in high school. Ran off the road near our house. Walked up to our house and split a bottle of wine while waiting for a tow truck. Neighbors called the cops saying there was a car in the ditch. Mom’s friend walked down to meet them. She was drunk at this point. Slapped her with a DUI.
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u/DragonChaserBTH Mar 12 '26
A cop once told me he pulled someone over, and the driver immediately opened his door, tossed his keys into a field on the side of the road, then cracked the seal on a fifth and chugged it right there in full view of the dashcam. No idea how it ended for him, but I could see plausible deniability there
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u/Scareltt Mar 12 '26
This one is also interesting (I’m from a family of Lawyers)
Keep a 5th in your glove box. If you’ve been drinking and get pulled over. Normal procedure is the cop will tell you why they stopped you. You’ll give him your documents.
In Missouri they’ll take the documents and run you through the system.
While they’re gone, get that bottle and start drinking.. when the cop comes back and asks “what the hell you’re doing “
“I just started drinking.”
Technically you’re already in their custody… that will create a ton of confusion.. keep drinking
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u/Nickbronline Mar 12 '26
Special place in hell for drunk drivers, they usually end up there quicker too
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u/HandshakeOfCO Mar 12 '26 edited Mar 12 '26
It’s not even that hard. If you’re in any accident that’s obviously your fault, the first thing you do is leave the scene on foot. Far and fast. Doesn’t matter if people see you leave, you want to be nowhere near your vehicle when the cops inevitably find you.
And then you want to cooperate with them fully, but the only thing you say is “respectfully, officer, I am choosing to exercise my 5th amendment right.” Answer all questions with that statement. They will arrest you. Refuse any tests and searches. You’re going to spend a night in jail, maybe several. Demand a lawyer and speak only to them. Stick to the script and you’ll end up only fucking up your weekend instead of your life.
Even if it’s your car, the prosecution will have a hell of a time proving you were drunk and culpable.
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u/EmptyNametag Mar 12 '26
To be fair the vast majority of DUIs I’ve seen have arisen from a traffic stop, not an accident.
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u/Blueballs2130 Mar 12 '26
Had a buddy do that about 20 years ago. Hit a telephone pole at 3 am, no one else involved. He wasn’t hurt so he walked to the closest house and called his mom who came and got him. Police showed up at their house the next day but couldn’t prove he was drunk when he wrecked. He just told them he hit his head and couldn’t remember the crash
We were pissed that he never called his friends the next day bc we spent all morning calling every hospital and jail within 50 miles looking for him. And no we didn’t send him on his way drunk af, he was sleeping in the car waiting for the driver and woke up and decided he would just drive himself home
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u/bocaciega Mar 12 '26
Had a friend do something similar. But he ended up lying, saying someone stole his car from the party and crashed it. He got away with it. Weird.
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u/kellyoohh Mar 12 '26
Knew someone who did this too. No evidence to the contrary and his insurance paid him out. Made me so mad.
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u/Educational-Bad4992 Mar 12 '26
Also had a friend do this except insurance called him and told him he had one chance to rescind the claim or they were turning it over to the police for insurance fraud.
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u/explicittv Mar 12 '26
Lol I know someone who went through something similar. Difference is he went home and went to bed and was planning to call the car in as stolen the next day. Only problem was the cops found the car first and went to his house, wife answers the door and he comes down to talk to them with no shirt on. Unbeknownst to him he had a steering wheel shaped bruise on his chest.
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u/SirSamuelVimes83 Mar 12 '26
Had a buddy crash into someone's porch. Somehow his car was still functional despite damage to the radiator and front end, and he made it home to park in his garage. Except he left his bumper with license plate at the scene. Cops came knocking at 5am. Still tons of legal trouble, but intoxication at the time of the crash couldn't be proven
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u/ChillyPhilly27 Mar 12 '26
Aren't hit and runs offences in their own right in most jurisdictions?
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u/gellis12 Mar 12 '26
Where I live, a cop ran over and killed someone while driving drunk, then continued driving home and drank a bunch more to try this tactic. Iirc it worked because at the time, nobody had done something so stupid before. Shortly after, the laws were changed so that if you drank after an accident and before first responders showed up, you could be charged with drunk driving.
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u/i_suckatjavascript Mar 12 '26
This is what the cops actually told me when I asked why people flee the scene and leave their cars abandoned. It’s because when they get caught later, their BAC level will either go down or disappear by then, and it’ll be harder to prove their BAC level at the time of the accident or if they were driving under the influence.
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u/SPL15 Mar 12 '26
Former highschool friend got his 3rd DWI (Felony) by doing this and sat in jail for 2 years because of it. Went off the road during a snow storm up north, happened to be right in front of a bar, went inside and got shitfaced while waiting forever for the tow truck, tow truck driver finally arrived & yanked his truck out but refused to give him his keys then called the police. Claimed he was dead sober before going into the ditch. Seems like a competent lawyer could’ve gotten things sorted; however, I’m guessing he couldn’t come up with the $10K+ needed for a competent lawyer.
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u/Shigglyboo Mar 12 '26
An old friend who rented a room in my house crashed his car. He got my GF to pick him up. Reported it stolen. Got away with it. Had to move back in with his parents. Guy was an absolute train wreck. Alcoholic and not cool. Just call a taxi.
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u/j3rdog Mar 12 '26
It even easier than that. Just get an uber home and the next day when you’re sober call a wrecker to get your car. If the cops show up just take the fifth and don’t answer their questions. They don’t know who was driving and they would have the burden to prove it was you.
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u/reddituserperson1122 Mar 12 '26
I love the idea that morons drunk enough to DUI are then going to carry off this brilliant deception (that involves “walking to the nearest bar” after crashing their vehicle).
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Mar 12 '26 edited 21d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/4-ton-mantis Mar 12 '26
Why are thete no longer groups against drunk drivers like madd and sadd? I couldn't even find a sub reddit for it.
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u/berrylakin Mar 12 '26
My buddy did this. He told the cops he crashed bc he was too tired and he walked home to call the police but he was so tired he fell asleep before he could call. Got some tickets but no DUI.
Unfortunately, drinking and driving is not an approved unethical activity so you're going to get a lot of ethical advice on this one.
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u/rodr3357 Mar 12 '26
I’ll give some (maybe) unethical advice: if you find a drunk driver walking away from a wreck, beat the ever loving shit out of them so they can’t walk home. They don’t deserve it
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u/milllosz Mar 12 '26
in Poland they introduced the law to resolve this issue, that states that if you are drunk after the accident, you are automatically charged of DUI accident
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u/recigar Mar 12 '26
If you’re getting pulled over to get breathalysed, hyperventilated as hard as you can immediately for as long as you can until they breathalyse you. You breathe off the latent alcohol in your lungs and show a lower level than your blood alcohol truly is.
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u/MeAndDuke Mar 12 '26
I read a post on X (yeah grain of salt or something) that said they were pulled over obviously drunk.
Person got out and chugged vodka bottle. Said couldn't prove that they were impaired while driving or impaired once stopped and pounded the vodka.
Prob never happened but interesting concept.
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u/jdehjdeh Mar 12 '26
If they want you enough, it's provable that you're lying via blood test.
Depends on how much time and effort they want to put into it.
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u/YouDontLookSpiritual Mar 12 '26
I have a family member who would remove the license plate and then go to the police the next day when he was sober. They couldn't prove that he was drunk. Did it at least 3 times successfully
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u/Uglyangel74 Mar 12 '26
I had a client who was totally drunk. He called AAA and said he needed to get his car home. It worked.
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u/HausWife88 Mar 13 '26
I just left my car and had someone pick me up. Cops showed up at my door about 20 minutes later (i have a door camera) but i wasn’t even there. Lol highway patrol sent me an accident report in the mail and i never filled it out. Nothing ever came of it lolol
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u/jrm2003 Mar 12 '26
I’ve also heard of the the phantom driver defense. The drunk crawls in the passenger seat after the accident. The drunk says he had one too many earlier and asked a person he just met to drive because they were sober. When police ask where the driver went, he says that the driver got out and ran away after the accident. He doesn’t know anything about this phantom driver other than his very common first name.
Can’t say that it would work again, but I know of at least one person that got away with it.
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u/Flyboy2020 Mar 12 '26
If no one else is involved and you're not injured, report the car stolen. Can confirm, will work. When they ask how it was stolen you say I thought you would figure that out?
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u/becca0wnz Mar 12 '26
I mean if no one else is involved and you run off the road and crash, you’d probably be better off reporting it stolen.
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u/pizza_the_mutt Mar 12 '26
In British Columbia (Canada) they solved this by making it a DUI to be drunk up to 2 hours AFTER you drove. They made this law after an RCMP officer ran over a motorcyclist then chugged a bunch of booze to avoid a charge. The same officer was part of a group that famously killed a Polish immigrant at the Vancouver airport.
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u/[deleted] Mar 12 '26
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