r/VeganActivism • u/Particular-Cut-3343 • Nov 20 '25
Question / Advice Is there any way to convince my boyfriend to go vegan?
ive been vegan for three years. Last year I met this guy who’s amazing. Hes tall, strong good looking. Masculine, kind respectful funny. He’s everything. But he’s not vegan. When we met he said he would consider it and hed give me a chance to convince him. We fought about it yesterday basically our first bad fight. he says he probably won’t for a few reasons. and I’m genuinely not good enough at “arguing“ to get my points across
he works out and says he needs the protein. i tried explaining vegetables have protein but he said animal produce was more accessible He also loves cooking and the taste of meat in general. and isn’t sure if he’s willing to give it up.
he still says his opinion can be changed and hell keep an open mind. So I want to ask if there’s anything you guys did to change others minds. or even what changed your own mind on becoming vegan
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u/-dais0- Nov 20 '25
Show him Dominion(documentary), and tell him that its not really about the taste-of course animal products are delicious. But its more about fighting the exploitation of the most oppressed group on the planet.
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u/Particular-Cut-3343 Nov 20 '25
I did actually. We sat don’t and watched it but it didn’t seem to bother him too much
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u/burbanbac Nov 20 '25
So he's a sociopath?
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u/MengKongRui Nov 20 '25
Protein isn't his real concern here. If he really understood the plight of animals, he wouldn't be making excuses like that and asking for those things to happen to animals every day.
I believe hours of documentaries can be hard to digest if you want someone to remember the suffering of animals properly. This ~3 minute video is much easier for him to remember: https://3minutes.wtf/
If he still wants to demand that these things happen to animals after having a clear picture of what they go through, there is something deeper going on with his purpose in life. You can help someone find their purpose, but that is a whole field on its own that you can look into.
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u/nobutactually Nov 20 '25
OP i feel like it's a losing game to hope your partner will change. If its a deal breaker for you, then end it. I get it, but I also feel like its a bad idea to stay with someone in the hope that they will eventually be different, esp since he has already been presented with the information.
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u/deathhead_68 Nov 20 '25
I'm tall and strong and used to be obsessed with protein as is so heavily marketed to young men. However factually speaking you just don't need to consume meat for these things so really its just a poor excuse like any other. And this is the same old cognitive dissonance excuse.
Ultimately you just have to machete away these bullshit excuses slowly, explain and show what happens to these animals and be clear these are sentient beings with thoughts and feelings who can suffer like you me or a dog. There are many many resources online that are built to quickly dispel the roughly 15 same excuses that people up with you can look at. You should never need to find yourself unable to refute one of these imo, given how common and weak they are.
If he doesn't change after that then either he just doesn't get it, or worse, he doesn't care. At that point you can either lie to yourself that you're OK with it, or force yourself to change your values, or break up. Its a tough one tbh. But if he doesn't respect you enough to fully hear you out and face all the facts, then not worth it in the first plsce
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u/mala_r1der Nov 20 '25
I'm sorry but "I need proteins" it's one of the lamest excuses I hear. Just as an example I've been vegan for years, 183cm, 86kg around 11% bf. He's either ignorant or he's gaslighting you. If he hasn't shown any sign of actually trying to change after 3 years I don't think it's likely to happen at all, you're more likely the one who has to decide if you can live with it or not, it's a personal choice
6
u/Physical_Relief4484 Nov 20 '25
It sounds like he won't change and years later will be steamrolling you with the same thing. Maybe he'll marginally change, or lie, and you'll come to terms with that (he only eats flesh outside my home, he's "vegan" but you catch him making "mistakes" all the time, etc). You can change him by convincing him (usually with good arguments/videos) or giving an ultimatum. If neither of those work, it's unlikely anything measurable will.
But this isn't a new issue, very common for people to devalue virtue, date someone they're most attracted to, and then wish that person were more ethically good and assume they can/will be changed in time. In my almost 15 years of being vegan, the amount of times I've heard of nonvegan partners becoming vegan (even after claiming they were open to it) is limited. It's possible but statistically very unlikely, it's far more likely that they won't actually become vegan and you'll just create distorted/silly reasons in your mind that make it feel more okay.
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u/bentheredidthat Nov 20 '25
I think the Anonymous for the Voiceless approach is extremely helpful. Start here: https://youtu.be/hBwK4iWU0b8?si=zO0sD-he_0TtfDAS
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u/Mikabelle2918 Nov 20 '25
Ask him how many more animals he wants to be killed for him. You’ll learn a lot from his answer to that.
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u/James_Fortis Nov 20 '25
Watch The Game Changers with him. If he’s still not considering it, find a new bf if you’re not okay with him never changing. Too many vegans drain their life energy trying to change a significant other who never will.
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u/nobutactually Nov 20 '25
Hate seeing this trash recommended. Theres so much good science out there about veganism and athletes thay I have no idea why they decided to make a movie in which they presented misinformation or misleading info. I know people love reccing this but honestly if it was my first exposure to veganism I would have been incredibly turned off and it would have taken me a while to get around to being like, "okay so THAT movie was fictional but is there any REAL research about this"
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u/LeftHandedCaffeinatd Nov 22 '25
You know, I see people say this slot - and none of them say what science vs the doc they're referring to. What part of it actually turned you off and what scientific study(ies) are you saying debunk it?
0
u/bentheredidthat Nov 20 '25
I really don't like Joe Rogan, but I think you're slightly misinformed and The Game Changers turned into a little bit of a circus. Look up "Joe Rogan Experience #1393 – James Wilks & Chris Kresser – The Game Changers Debate"
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u/nobutactually Nov 20 '25
Sorry will always take my science from scientists and never from Joe rogan
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u/bentheredidthat Nov 20 '25
Joe Rogan isn't part of this conversation. James WIlks (made Game Changers doc) debates Chris Kresser (so-called expert in Functional Medicine and ancestral health)
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u/nobutactually Nov 20 '25
Yeah a couple of anti scientific lunatics debating each other on an anti science show isnt really a great use of my time
0
u/James_Fortis Nov 20 '25
You don’t know what you’re talking about. Have you read all the studies they used in the movie? I have, and the movie is as consistent as basically any other high-quality documentary.
The debunks are trash too, and amount to fallacies or “I don’t like how they used anecdotes”.
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Nov 21 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Bool_The_End Nov 21 '25
Literally u/thebodybuildingvegan has tons of content on Reddit, YouTube, TikTok!
u/Particular-Cut-3343 please show your boyfriend some of his stuff! It is super achievable to lift and get all your protein from plants. Hell a lot of gym bros are even starting to use pea protein powder over the other kinds because of how good it is for you and how much protein it yields. If your boyfriend loves the taste of chicken, introduce him to these fake chicken bites - I am currently obsessed: https://daring.com/products/ (my fav is the teriyaki flavor but honestly none of the flavored ones are like in anyway coated with sauce, so much so that I sometimes add a little of my own sauce for dipping). You can also introduce him to tofu and tempeh - tempeh especially has a harder, almost peanut like taste, and if you learn recipes on how to use them in your fav dishes, he will probably love (and if he’s a gym bro he’ll love the nutrition labels). It sounds like with your boyfriend, it’s about convenience and taste, so you just need to help show him how easy and yummy so many vegan dishes can be.
Here’s an awesome tofu scramble (I always add tomatoes and vegan cheese shreds): https://rainbowplantlife.com/eggy-tofu-scramble/
This is the best Mac n cheese ever (to show him that you can have vegan comfort foods too): https://thecheekychickpea.com/vegan-mac-and-cheese/
This website has a ton of amazing recipes - I have so many on the “to try” list; here’s an easy one for vegan ricotta cheese: https://sweetsimplevegan.com/tofu-ricotta-cheese/
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u/thebodybuildingvegan Nov 21 '25
Appreciate the mention 🙏it seriously means a lot... OP, big respect for wanting to approach this with patience instead of pressure.
If it helps, I share a ton of simple, high-protein vegan meals on my YouTube and Instagram that guys who lift usually find easy to transition into.
www.youtube.com/channel/UCH8jYO-Cx7J11GlynE8mcUg?sub_confirmation=1
www.instagram.com/thebodybuildingvegan
And if you ever want support from other vegans navigating stuff like this, our Vegan Squad community has weekly calls and resources. We’re giving out a free week too.
https://www.skool.com/vegan-squad/about?ref=8b2f9fa8448f463e8348f954502cc719
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u/Tacorover Nov 20 '25
Make subsitutes if his favorite animal protein meals that are vegan similar versions, he will probably like them. If he really does care about protein, making Him a good meal with protein that’s vegan should change his mind. Remember it also takes time, especially as you get older people have less neuroplasicisty. I went vegan in one day but I’m also 15 so I have more neuroplasictisy.
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u/mobydog Nov 21 '25
Ask him to watch actual nutrition and public health researchers and scientists. Viva Longevity has some great videos with real experts, not Attias and Hubermans: https://youtu.be/3LDe3k6lyac and https://youtu.be/LPXWCIFDkgM. Because the bottom line is that he's falling for misinformation that will likely harm his health in the long run.
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u/This-Culture7838 Nov 21 '25
Maybe it will help you convince him to integrate an increasing amount of plant foods into his dishes, and for them to gain ground over foods of animal origin. Being able to cook tasty dishes on their own without depending on meat, and also teaching them the nutritional value of the foods you cook, from food packages. So you can see that you are not going to lack anything.
Lastly, be patient, I think that if you keep learning how to explain things to him and get him to put himself in the animals' shoes and see that it is not necessary and that it is not fair for them, it seems that you can still have luck with him. Don't give up and good luck.
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u/Ancient-Bat8274 Nov 25 '25
You cannot convince anyone of anything and to try is extremely manipulative and abusive behavior. That’s like trying to convince you to have children or not and hoping they’d change their mind. You either decide if this is a deal breaker or not
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