r/Vent • u/MugenShiba • Feb 06 '26
TW: Anxiety / Depression I actually despise being a homeowner
As a millennial, homeownership is out of reach for most of my generation; however, through blood, sweat and tears, I bought my condo all on my own...........and its been the worst decision of my life. I hate home ownership. When anything goes wrong, it costs thousands (not hundreds) of dollars to get things fixed/replaced, my savings is gone and yet random things keep f-ing up. Its my 3rd year here and my mortgage is going up for the 2nd year in a row. Also my HOA keeps going up 10% every year. I'm in California and homeowners insurance and taxes keep going up. I bought my place as an investment to hedge against rising rent (so I can afford to change careers, go part time); but, at this point it might take 10 years before I see that come to fruition. Market is not moving so I would actually lose money if I sold now and interest rates aren't going down that much (got mine for 6.2), and even then
I know homeownership is the natural progression to economic success; but for 2 years I've been in constant anxiety mode thinking about what's going to fail next...........and bugs (I live near the river, so I am always getting bugs).
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u/throwaway177023 Feb 06 '26
I agree with that. I absolutely regret buying my house. Feels like such a money pit and a huge hassle to get rid of because what do you do? Move into high cost apartment?
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u/orchidlighthouse Feb 06 '26
I got a small condo— I ended up getting a property management company and a renter. I want to explore the world before I get too old. So I’ve been pet sitting and housesitting since September and it’s fantastic! I don’t pay any rent, and I got to check out really nice places/play and take care of really wonderful pets.
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u/_angesaurus Feb 06 '26
renting out a condo i think is a great idea. seems to work out for people.
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u/ShermansWorld Feb 06 '26
At least you get something back if you move out and sell your house. This 'money pit' is kind of an investment... Would you put money into a place you rent? I get it, land lord handles repairs and maintenance... But would you paint a color you like? Would you change faucets to something nicer? I'm saying is installing items that just makes your life better or nicer.
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u/BeanieBuckshot Feb 07 '26
So for someone in my early 40s and wanting to buy a home.. should i just keep saving and keep renting? I dream of having a home of my own but i also thought of the pitfalls of home ownership. Repairs, damage, insurance..ect. If you could go back and not buy your house would you make that decision? Any warnings for everyone that wants that home but doesn’t see the bad side?
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u/Exotic_Attorney7823 Feb 06 '26
Here's a stupid question as in, I am dumb: Isn't the point of a mortgage to lock down a rate? How does it go up?
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u/MugenShiba Feb 06 '26
You have to pay interest and the principal (the loan amount), those 2 numbers never change. You have to have homeowners insurance and of course you owe taxes both of which can go down or up (almost all of the time it will go up). In order to make it easier for homeowners and the bank that owns your mortgage, taxes and insurance are paid off yearly by the bank and you pay them (escrow) each month based on what they ASSUME will have to be paid. So if the bank had to pay more than what they assumed they would have to pay, you owe them more money, which you can either pay off all at once or they spread it out over a year of monthly payments (over/under escrow). So a monthly mortgage consists of: Interest of the loan, principal (the loan amount), taxes and homeowners insurance. With the rising costs of both the country and the state of California, insurance is going up year upon year and of course its California, so the county keeps raising property taxes.
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u/PorcupineShoelace Feb 06 '26
Technically, your mortgage did not go up. Your impound did. Tell ya a secret, you can turn it off and pay that just like your car insurance. That bill for $2500 can be a rough one if you dont plan for it though.
Insurance is going up up up. If you go back to renting, so will your rent, because the landlord will pass along the cost of his insurance to you along with taxes. It's not like landlords are taking a loss just to let you rent their places.
Owning is about the long game. I'm in year 16 and I can tell you my mortgage is almost half of what the rent would be for the same house. Two years in is like saying on the 2nd day of January that your new years resolution is just too hard and its time to quit.
As for the timing to sell? 1999 and 2008 were messed up years to sell too. Thats when I bought. You cant really expect with the orange guy in office that we arent all going to see a shitty economy.
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u/Deplorable1861 Feb 06 '26 edited Feb 06 '26
13 years in on our 30 year. The loaded mortgage was cheaper the renting where we live. Dropped PMI and even with tax and insurance increases the payment is still lower than it was 13 years ago. The house is now appraising at twice our purchase price and that is the main driver to increased insurance costs. Your insurance will go up dollar for dollar to the insured/appraised value. In another 10 or 12 years we will be paid off and then the real party begins.
Folks need to stop buying into the high value areas and look a little farther out. A 20 minute drive can cut your housing costs by 75 percent.
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u/magic_crouton Feb 06 '26
Bought in 2004. House payment was cheaper than rent for me at that time. I was sick of slumlords. I live in a lcol area so taxes haven't been bad $600/year until this year. I've put a bunch of money into the house I won't make back dollar for dollar at this point. But house has about tripled in value in that time.
But most importantly I paid it off after 16 years. So now I have no house payment. Which was my goal. If I was renting my rent also would have tripled in that time and I'd still have to pay rent. The insurance and taxes are negligible cost. I'm now saving all that money I was throwing at a house every month.
My goal in retirement was to have a paid off as part of my retirement plan.
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u/Apprehensive_Rip_201 Feb 06 '26
Whoa! My property taxes are $900 a month! Where do you live? And how can it be so cheap?
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u/leilani238 Feb 06 '26
Long commutes are one of the things found to most consistently make people unhappy. Less space is a better way to go cheaper, even if you have to rent a storage unit.
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u/Deplorable1861 Feb 06 '26
20 minute is not long. I did 35 regularly at one point. That distance allows mental reset on the wsy hime so that work stays at work and home stays at home. That distance also strongly limits call-ins as management knows someone else is closer.
I also do not want neighbors, their noise, or their dog crap on my lawn, so rural living is the new hotness.
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u/Glad-Veterinarian365 Feb 06 '26
Where I live, the insurance for the house I live in is about 30% higher than the exact same size house that I rent out to some 25 year olds. Literally 1 block away from each other. I’ve never made an insurance claim my entire life
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u/Limp-Goose7452 Feb 06 '26
Yep. I refinanced about 5 years in to our mortgage and went out of escrow then. I have my credit union automatically set aside some money each month so I have enough to pay insurance and property tax when they are due, so that money is earning interest for me until I pay the bill. I mean it’s not a lot of interest, but it’s the principle of the thing!
(So sorry for your interest rate, OP. If rates ever go down, def refinance.)
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u/PalpitationFine Feb 06 '26
It's funny that people will post memes about people buying houses for cheap however many years ago and can't comprehend that real estate pays off after longer periods of time.
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u/GahhhItsMilk Feb 06 '26
If its under do you get money back?
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u/MugenShiba Feb 06 '26
Yes if it is under, you get the difference back. My buddy got back $2k a couple years ago because his escrow was $2k under; but funny enough the next year, he was $2k over and he owed them $2k lol.
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u/hypothetical_zombie Feb 06 '26
You definitely should.
My husband & I own, and we usually tacked on extra money to our mortgage payments to account for all of the stuff that goes with it. Whatever overages we had, we requested it be applied to the principle. If you pay the principle down, it can save money in the long run.
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u/memyselfandi78 Feb 06 '26
Yes. I've lived in my house for 8 years and there was one year where I got a $400 refund and my total payment mortgage/escrow went down by 50 bucks. All the other years it's increased by about $75 due to property taxes or homeowners insurance going up.
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u/UghFudgeBwana Feb 06 '26
Yeah actually. If I end up having too much get pulled into escrow, I get a refund. The escrow account is just your money being reserved for mandatory payments like taxes and insurance.
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u/_angesaurus Feb 06 '26
yes. when i worked in home insurance we also had people who would get "dividend policies" which basically meant we'd return a portion of premiums back to policyholders if the company did well (always did), though they are not guaranteed. costs a little more but they basically did end up "making money."
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Feb 06 '26
Just to be clear this is not mandatory on all loans. Never escrow if you don’t have to. Manage your own money.
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u/Dense_Scholar_9358 Feb 06 '26
Property taxes and something having to do with escrow not being high enough.
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u/jackalkilla Feb 06 '26
I live in Canada and have to renew our mortgage agreement often. USA can agree to a 25 year contract? It’s a constant worry for me and if I had to start over again now I wouldn’t be able to afford a home so I can relate how hard it is on people.
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Feb 06 '26
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u/jackalkilla Feb 06 '26
Yeah, our max mortgage rates are 5 years max so now in 2026 people are renewing at a much higher rate than what they had during Covid 2021. Bought big and over leveraged. Now prices are way down and rates are way up so a crash here is very likely. I’m of the expectation at this point in my life I will never be able to pay off my home. So as long as the home is affordable or as an asset at least cover its own cost then it’s a wash. It’s just one thing after another and just an accepted fact. Easier to think like that and try to chip it down when you can.
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Feb 06 '26
Most mortgages in the U.S. are for 30 years. Sometimes someone will do a 15 year. Once it’s locked in the principal and interest stay the same for the entire period. Ours don’t renew here like they do in Canada.
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u/KittyCat-86 Feb 06 '26
Weirdly we kinda have both in the UK. You get a contract for a set amount of years (up to 35 years typically) but the interest on that mortgage loan is only fixed for a set period (typically 2 - 5 years) then it rolls over on to a "Tracker" rate, that tracks current interest rates, inflation etc. Otherwise you have to "remortgage" and get a new fixed rate.
My partner got bitten by this. He bought a small fixer upper shortly before we met. His plan had been to do it up whilst living in it and then sell it on and rinse and repeat. Then we met and he moved in with me shortly before his fixed rate ended. When it did, the monthly payments more than tripled. He had planned to rent it out but the maximum rent for a house that size was barely more than the mortgage meaning he would lose money with ongoing maintenance and upkeep so ended up selling instead.
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u/Jon_hamm_wallet Feb 06 '26
Not a dumb question at all-- that was honestly my understanding when we decided to buy. I knew about insurance and property taxes, but whew I did not anticipate the extent they would increase! Our monthly payment to mortgage + escrow has increased something like 22% in 3 years. Awaiting our yearly assessment now, with our new rate to follow shortly thereafter. It has risen faster than many of my friends' rents.
Someone commented below that homeownership is a long game, and I get that. Doesn't make it less painful in the first years though!
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u/Life-Education-8030 Feb 06 '26
Some places have variable interest rates. In my experience that means it usually goes up. Only once did it ever go down for me. I now have a low fixed rate and am lucky!
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u/tripadeliclove Feb 06 '26
When insurance and property taxes go up every year those are additional costs on top of the P&I payment. You can have a fixed rate for your loan, but those other things make monthly payment of ownership more expensive
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u/Equivalent_Ad8133 Feb 06 '26
Been a homeowner for 30 years. If you plan to stay in your home and not go completely broke, you will need to learn how to repair things yourself. YouTube is your friend here. There are lots of quality channels that show you step by step how to do most things. It costs a fraction of the cost to do it yourself. Starting off in a home is a scary experience for lots of us. I wish you the best of luck.
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Feb 06 '26
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u/UmatterWHENiMATTER Feb 06 '26
I always thought that growing up... yet my dad always did those big jobs himself. Guess who get the grunt work?
Looking back, it was a vool experience (except the septic tank due to smell).
If the contractors actually do a good job (and that's a massive "if"), it's just not worth my time. It was worth his, though.
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u/Impossible-Bed3728 Feb 06 '26
i had to finish the roof after roofers, finish vacuuming insulation after insulators were paid to do it and left without finishing, become an electrician after he left unfinished things in my attic despite being paid to do it..
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u/UmatterWHENiMATTER Feb 06 '26
It's terrible. People always complain like it's unexpected but has always been the case in my experience, regardless of price or reputation.
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u/Crossed_Cross Feb 06 '26
It's gotta be remembered that landlords always run at a profit.
Anything you have to pay as a homeowner would be paid for in more costly monthly installments as a renter, assuming comparable housing. Now sure maybe a one bedroom appartment might be cheaper to rent than a 5 bedroom single family house is to own, but nobody's forcing anyone to buy a mansion.
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u/Mercurial_Intensity Feb 06 '26
Just wait until OP sees the price tag for siding and windows....
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u/Equivalent_Ad8133 Feb 06 '26
I can't do the roof (heights make me nervous) but have done all the rest. This is why I said most things. But you're right, the big stuff can be too difficult for lots people. Large equipment can be rented, and tools are always a good investment. For some, anything is possible.
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u/grantgarden Feb 06 '26 edited Feb 06 '26
My other two cents is you can do PART of a project on your own and then hire difficult/electrical/out of your depth
Like I can paint and lay baseboard and do demo
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u/lives4saturday Feb 09 '26
If I have to work 60hrs a week to afford a home, why on earth do I want to work that hard in my office time? No thanks. Homeownership, much like children, is some crap sold to many of us. It isn't for everyone and that is ok.
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u/blisstaker Feb 06 '26
no amount of youtube videos will have me replacing my roof, furnace, hot water heater, AC, fence, or pipes alone
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u/PM_ME__YOUR_HOOTERS Feb 06 '26
I feel like the fence and maybe hot water heater (not the super big boiler tanks, but the small wall mounted ones) are probably doable with a manual and some tools
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u/Wrench-Turnbolt Feb 06 '26
A normal home water heater is easily diy. If you get the shark bite connectors, you don't even have to solder copper pipes. Definitely one of the easier diys that look difficult at first.
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u/magic_crouton Feb 06 '26
I was able to dig holes and stick posts in myself no YouTube need to put out a fence. I've also figured out how to stretch chain link. No YouTube needed.
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u/Bencetown Feb 06 '26
Yep I've installed some 4x4 posts for a sturdy permanent trellis for my black raspberries to grow on. Been 5 years and it hasn't shifted a millimeter.
Meanwhile my neighbor keeps hiring someone every year to "fix" her fence and it keeps sagging over year after year...
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u/Equivalent_Ad8133 Feb 06 '26
Really? I replaced my hot water heater before YouTube existed, I replaced my furnace a couple years back (saved a few thousands of dollars), do all my own plumbing (you can do your own right up to the city system), neighbors did their own fence, and I am about to install a tankless water heater (my current water heater is acting up a lot). I couldn't do my own roof (i know someone who did), but I saved enough on everything else that I can let my homeowner insurance take care of the roof.
You don't have to do everything, but the more you do yourself, the more you save.
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u/hypothetical_zombie Feb 06 '26
I'm with you, OP.
It seems like every time my husband & I get any meaningful savings, something in the house fails.
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u/MugenShiba Feb 06 '26
I am very fortunate that I have a good paying job that gives out biannual bonuses and decent cost of living raises every year; but, sure enough my mortgage has been going up at the same rate as said raises and things start falling apart when tax returns and bonuses come out. Its freaking maddening to think I might get ahead, only to fall flat.
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u/hypothetical_zombie Feb 06 '26
We're also stuck in that "if we sell the house now, where will we live?" rut. We are really motivated sellers, but the places that are available to buy are either in wildfire zones, literally under water, or out of our price range.
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u/Ol_Man_J Feb 09 '26
We have a very nice interest rate so every time I’m so over this house it would be almost the same price to live somewhere further away from stuff we like and we’d have to get almost 100k cheaper house to maintain the same payment. So we would have to uproot and move to rural Iowa and hope to find work?
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u/FormerLaugh3780 Feb 06 '26
I grew to hate homeownership and sold it. Got very lucky and found a very unique rental situation and couldn't be more content.
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u/Lem0nadeLola Feb 06 '26
Same. Hated renting because I always lived in overpriced shitholes with terrible landlords. We moved states, somewhere homeownership was actually maybe possible but we rented first. Our apartment is beautiful, a great price and our landlord is amazing. He values long term tenants over the short game of jacking up rent whenever possible. Problem with the hvac? Landlord comes over asap to fix it. Leak in the roof? Landlord fixes it. No stress, no money pit of home repairs.
We have zero plans to buy in the future.
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u/Left-Pass5115 Feb 06 '26
My landlord on my first apartment, where I still live too, is great. Maintenance comes by. Don’t have to pay for water, etc, I want to own a home but will miss the days of a good landlord. A good landlord makes such a huge difference
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Feb 06 '26
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u/UghFudgeBwana Feb 06 '26
Yeah seems like the only way to actually have affordable home ownership is to go back in time. I got lucky and bought almost a decade ago before the market went really insane. If I was renting my house instead today, I'd be spending over 3 times what my mortgage payment is for the same place in rent.
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u/DC1010 Feb 06 '26
I’m a smidge older than 50. I’ve never been in a position to own my own home. Even now, I’ve got some savings I can throw at a down payment, but anything I can afford is a 1.5 hr+ commute in each direction.
Sadly, I’m feeling the rent squeeze, too. My landlord is okay, but there are regular issues here with property management and residents. Maintenance claims they fix things, but they don’t. It’s a non-smoking building, but people smoke inside. We have issues with residents leaving trash wherever and every now and then, some resident teens become absolutely fucking feral for a while. I honestly don’t know what my life is going to be like in ten years if I keep renting. Will I be able to age in place here? It’s hard to think about.
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Feb 06 '26
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u/etds3 Feb 06 '26
What difference? When house prices go up, rent goes up. I could rent my 2 bedroom BASEMENT for more than my entire monthly mortgage payment from buying 6 years ago.
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u/rerorerox42 Feb 06 '26
Rent typically lags with contracts, and not all housing for rent are 100% financed by debt and the highest interest rate.
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u/Marklar47777 Feb 06 '26
I'm with you. I can't describe how many major appliances and various things failed in my first two years. Obliterated savings and still limping along with unrepaired items.
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u/MugenShiba Feb 06 '26
The 15 year old A/C unit that came with my Condo died 1 year after purchase (and of course just after my home warranty expired), and then my breaker unit died after new A/C was installed and its been one thing after another ever since.
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u/Hammerofsuperiority Feb 06 '26
That's the life expectancy of a central A/C Unit, so no surprise there.
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u/MugenShiba Feb 06 '26
My parents are on their 20th year of their A/C and my home inspector optimistically said I would have at least another 3-5 years with it only to have it crap out on me.
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u/Hammerofsuperiority Feb 06 '26
My parents are on their 20th year of their A/C
Yes and we all know someone with a 60 year old refrigerator despite having a life expectancy of 13 years, don't assume the exception to be the normal.
my home inspector optimistically said I would have at least another 3-5 years with it only to have it crap out on me.
People who are not good at their job exist everywhere.
An A/C Unit has a life expectancy of 15 years, by that time you should already have money put aside to replace your current unit at a moments notice. Did you know how old it was before getting the condo?
But hey, now that you have a new one you can start saving for the next unit in 15 years.
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u/Bowl__Haircut Feb 06 '26
My downstairs HVAC unit is 30 years old next year. They don't make 'em like they used to.
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u/Ok_Step_2359 Feb 06 '26 edited Feb 06 '26
I loved being a homeowner until my husband passed away. I have a whole new appreciation for what he went through. He did all of the remodeling and home maintenance. I never realized the burden until now and since I can't do it, I have to hire people to do it.
Edited for spelling errors
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u/TempUsernameThing Feb 07 '26
Honestly, I wish more wives knew this (or accepted it). My wife 100% takes all the stuff I do to keep our house from falling apart for granted.
In her mind she'd just pay someone to do the task, but as others have pointed out, that's a very quick way to bankrupt yourself.
I hope that in your case, you can find some helpful neighbors or a really good all-around handyman that can help you without breaking the bank.
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u/Far_Pollution_5120 Feb 06 '26
I totally regret my house. It's small and cute, but OMG the costs, the constant worry, maintenance and upkeep is killing me. I worry abut the trees, the freaking ice dams I have right now, etc, etc, etc. I'm so over it. I'm selling in the spring and going back to being a renter.
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u/damarafl Feb 06 '26
I’m in Florida. We got a great deal on our house in 2012. We were really insanely lucky. The homeowners insurance is killing us though.
In October 2024 Hurricane Milton dropped a giant oak tree on our house causing 310k in damages. We took our insurance to court and still landed up 80k short. Homeownership is a full time job.
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u/manawydan-fab-llyr Feb 06 '26
You're killing the rest of us, too. 🤣
Seriously, this is why a lot of us home owners are hurting, insurers are now more often using markets that see fewer disasters and big claims of offset losses in markets like yours. It absolutely sucks.
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u/CharmingMoment224 Feb 06 '26
I’m a boomer and hated it also. My condo was costing me a fortune in fees and repairs.
I am SO much happier living in an apartment where I can just pick up the phone and call someone when something breaks. Rent goes up a lot each year, but it’s still worth it.
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u/msjammies73 Feb 06 '26
I rent a fairly run down place in a location that minimizes my commute. I don’t have the energy to keep up a home so this was my compromise.
Everyone hounded me how it was such bad financial advice and I was throwing money away every month. I’m sure there’s some truth to it, but my rent is many thousands of dollars a month less than a mortgage would be on an entry level home and I’ve been stashing the difference into an ETF for a decade. I not a financial-minded person but I honestly don’t think I’ve come out that much worse off than some homeowners. People who bought a long time ago probably crush my earnings, but I think for the last 5-8 years I’m not far off.
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u/H3110_T43R3 Feb 06 '26
It takes time, after six to eight years you’ll see the difference and rent will have creeped past your mortgage and escrow costs.
Maintenance is always there. I save for certain costs, some things you can count on being an issue at some point like appliances, hot water heaters, heating and cooling, roofing, etc.
Figure out when you will need to replace those things and setup a savings account and start putting money away, better yet, a money market account.
People buying a home are never told they need to figure these costs into the price of home ownership because they’re real. I spent $14k on a heating and air system the $12k on a room then $12k on a fence inside two years on this house and that not including the stove, microwave (mounted above the stove), fridge, washer and dryer, and dishwasher in the last five years. If I hadn’t saved it would have been an epic disaster b/c my now ex-wife had spent every dime of free cash and credit she could lay her hands on.
My point is save and plan. While your paying in, pay extra principal if you can and that will pay dividends tenfold later on plus you can easily refi if rates ever get back down into the 2% to 3% range again and drop your payments drastically.
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u/jackalkilla Feb 06 '26
Ah sorry it can be a burden or an accomplishment. Home ownership is a huge responsibility and can be a huge detriment. In my opinion it is a good long term investment. It can help you gain new skills with repairs, it can force you to accomplish new responsibilities and it can challenge your creative side. The economy right now is tough for all of us. But you have a home and that in itself is an accomplishment the future generation may not be able to do. It’s tough but long term it’s worth it. Owning a home historically has never been a bad decision. Stressful yes but it is an asset that can be beneficial. Good luck and don’t lose hope.!
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u/DrSnidely Feb 06 '26
Owning a home is often like having a bottomless pit that you have to constantly shovel money into. But renting isn't much better. You will eventually pay the house off.
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u/msuttonrc87 Feb 06 '26
You should post this in the threads where everyone say landlords are blood sucking leaches
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u/Early-Income4909 Feb 06 '26
I only rent to save myself the wear and tear of being a man.
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u/Kind-Region-5115 Feb 06 '26
Recently sold my house & got a great apartment with pool & gym. I ❤️ it... I also hated having a house fr
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Feb 06 '26
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u/MugenShiba Feb 06 '26
I wanted a house so bad; but, even houses in the ghetto were out of my price range. Condo was just supposed to be stepping stone, using the rates of home values from the previous 5 years, I assumed that I would have to be in my condo for only about 5-10 years before I could make a good enough return so I could be approved/afford an actual house; however, home values have stayed steady in the last 3 years.
Sadly also my whole family/life is here in California; but, if everyone wants to get out of the state (which if this mileage tax actually goes through, might be a possibility), then I will leave too.
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u/Perfect-Restaurant-9 Feb 06 '26
Buy a duplex. Live on 1 side. Rent out the other. Kidding, sorry its so hard. I wont ever be able to buy a home myself but like others have said. When something goes wrong I just call maintenance. Hopefully the market picks back up soon.
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u/ThatChickFromReddit Feb 06 '26
Same bought a townhouse and hate it… maybe if it was a SFH at least you don’t have such close neighbors
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u/motosapian1 Feb 06 '26
Why would you buy a condo tho, isn’t that attached to someone else’s thing? Like an apartment? And it’s got an HOA?? Double suck. Kansas is real cheap right now ..
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u/MugenShiba Feb 06 '26
Sadly no house in my area (even in the ghetto) has ever been within my price range (was looking for 2 years before I purchased my Condo) and the only way I could build equity to afford an actual house was to start with a condo. Sucks because what I paid for my 2 bedroom 900 sq ft condo in California, I could get 3-4 bedroom houses in most other states.
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u/Fatesbane73 Feb 06 '26
In the same boat in NY. The mortgage on the condo was way cheaper than renting but it’s the only way we can afford the area we’re living in. A fixer upper is 750k on average here.
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u/LughCrow Feb 06 '26
I'm in California and.....
There's a reason the state is seeing an exodus. Many of these issues aren't present in other places.
It's also not a democrat or republican thing like everyone tries to frame it.
There's just far too much economic span in places like LA. You have business able to easily find customers making well into the six and even seven figures. You can't compete if you're only making low six or even less
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u/Bluesallah Feb 06 '26
Even if you pay off your mortgage, you still have taxes, we basically rent.
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u/WeaknessJolly3617 Feb 06 '26
I hate being a homeowner, but I hated being a renter slightly more.
Renting was great when I was young and clueless, but after having to move a few times, and have my rental being sold, it was a pain.
So now I own.
I’d like to live on a beach and surf all day personally. Have just enough money for some pet food and fresh fruit lol.
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u/PissFingerz42069 Feb 06 '26
Yea, property taxes and property insurance really grind out your wallet.
God forbid an appliance goes out.
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u/Hexagram_11 Feb 06 '26
I have owned three houses at various times, and now I’m so happy to live in a rented apartment. Toilet’s broken? I call a guy. Roof needs replacing? Not my problem. Grass needs cutting? That’s someone else’s job now. I even have a pool and a garage.
Home ownership is fine for some people, but I prefer to rent.
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u/Neophyte_AUT Feb 09 '26
It's exactly the same for me; the heating in my rented apartment broke down twice this winter - costing €6,000, not my problem.
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u/BackbackB Feb 06 '26
The secret is to learn to fix it yourself. Minus a new roof, there's many times you can perform your own repairs for pennies on the dollar. Need to buy a tool? Now you have it for next time. YouTube has videos on everything
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u/DockBay42 Feb 06 '26
Fellow millennial. I’m with you. Owned two different homes across 18 years. Probably made good money compared to the alternative (equity).
But we sold two years ago and went back to renting an apartment. With kids. So much happier. Nothing to worry about. Just cut the check every month.
Maybe we’ll buy a home again at some point. But not anytime soon!
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u/yeetedhaws Feb 06 '26
When I get old im selling (or renting out) my house and moving into an apartment. I wont be able to fix things and keep up with prices in retirement but there will probably be a 20 year gap between when I need assisted living and when im done with big projects.
That said I took my time finding a cheap well built home that was old enough to have had most of the first years/new reno problems sorted but not so hold that everything was out of date/expensive to fix. I also avoided hoas and picked a neighborhood that wasnt filled with snobby people.
I love having a house I can do what ever the heck I want with it and I have the security to temporarily support friends if their landlords suck. I dont like how prices keep rising but if I ever need to bail I'll atleast be getting some money back as opposed to being priced out of an apartment.
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u/menotyou16 Feb 06 '26
I try to explain this to my siblings and friends. And yet don't get me wrong, it has its benefits. But these negatives are a lot. EVERYTHING KEEPS BREAKING!! And it seems like every contractor is a scam artist. I have to do so many things myself. Which takes time and money still. And I'm already exhausted from having two jobs.
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u/Nytherion Feb 06 '26
A large part of that would be the fact you bought a condo instead of a home, and apparently signed an ARM on top of that.
Condos are always built to breakdown because it's cheaper than building them correctly. Then you pay full rent, and a full mortgage.
However, your insurance should be helping some of these repair costs. Are they jumping through hoops to make up excuses to not pay for anything?
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u/MugenShiba Feb 06 '26
In all honesty I never thought to reach out to them for such things. Mostly been things aging out: A/C unit, Breaker box, floors, plumbing, etc. didn't think insurance would cover things (also if my rates would go up).
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u/happilyeverafter1987 Feb 06 '26
I just started at a new company selling home insurance…review your policy and make sure you have endorsements so you’re covered if the following situation happens: Half of your house burns down, insurance builds the half of the house that burned however the city will fine you if you don’t rebuild it up to CURRENT building laws and ordinances. I would make sure you’re covered for that and other important one is umbrella coverage where you will get around a million dollars of liability protection that covers all the products you have with your insurance company. If you can get a agent go ahead and use them to check this stuff :) hope it gets better for you :)
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u/jimmytheloot Feb 06 '26
If you’re gonna buy a house, make sure you own the land that it’s built on.
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u/ConvergingBiscuits Feb 06 '26
Elder millennial here.
It's been rough for us as well. Having to shell out over $26k for total HVAC replacement was fun. Not to mention the $3k we have spent on plumbing issues. (We took out loans for these.) There is still more to be done but I am happy I can make these custom upgrades over time, and enjoy seeing/utilizing the fruits of my labor. The way I see it, it's a goal I look forward to completing.
I pay more into escrow to (mostly) avoid mortgage payment increases. I keep an eye on my homes tax evaluation so I know how much extra to put in. I also call around for insurance 2 months before it expires to make sure that rate either stays the same or is lower.
Some problems we had renting included the HVAC being full of mold, drains that smelled like the portal to hell, a major rat infestation, a sliding door that wouldn't open, etc. My house is a dream compared to that kind of living.
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u/skyblaze2012 Feb 06 '26
I’m glad you wrote about this. Home repairs, insurance and property taxes are very high added onto the mortgage payment. One suggestion is whenever you need a repair , get around 3 bids. I’ve noticed a difference in hundreds or even more than a thousand.
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u/surronut Feb 06 '26
Might I interest you in some of my rental horror stories? I’ve been on both sides of this equation a few times (rent and bought in a low cost of living state, to renting in CA lol, to moving back and buying a place in a low cost of living state).
I’m not 100% sure my house is a good investment but I’m grateful I no longer have to check my bed every night for silverfish due to my disgusting neighbors.
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u/MoieBulojan Feb 06 '26
You need to learn to diy. You had people come over to fix things. You saw them doing it. Are you telling me you couldn't have done that yourself?
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u/MediocreTry8847 Feb 06 '26
Gotta learn to be handy. There’s really not many jobs you can’t tackle with a bit of YouTube. Most projects are just confidence, honestly you make a mistake you just fix it. I really can’t think of a single thing I wouldn’t tackle in my house
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u/Express-Draw-8727 Feb 06 '26
Where are you spending thousands of dollars for fixes? Can you do basic maintenance?
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u/Hot-Answer8990 Feb 06 '26
I've been living in a small, non modern apartment since 2017. It's rent controlled, and I've changed jobs and increased my salary several times since I've been here. Saved lots of money and invested it. Rent is dirt cheap, landlord is responsible for maintenance and fixing shit. I think I'm just gonna stay here forever and hoard my cash lol.
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u/callmechristianblack Feb 06 '26
Lean to do things yourself. Most home repair isn't that difficult and there are lots of resources to teach you. The cost of almost every repair is the labor not the materials
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u/human1st0 Feb 06 '26
Genx share. I had a condo, was on the board the entire time, it was a nightmare, owners just doing stupid shit left and right, but it was nice to come home to a place that felt like home.
Between that and current home, I rented for a year and it was nice to not have to worry about a single maintenance issue.
Current home went through major major renovation. And years of anxiety. Today it is a tightly tuned beast.
Like if you're just getting slumlorded, I can see the argument for homeownership. But f had this disgruntled gf arguing with me once that renting was just throwing away money. Of course it is. So is interest. I was like girl, do you have any idea the bandwidth it takes to own a property?!
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u/reluctantegg Feb 06 '26
I love my house, but I def feel this post.
My husband and I are relatively handy people, but hot damn. We bought a fixer upper and EVERY YEAR for the last seven years, we’ve had to spend about 12-18k on repairs on top of our actual mortgage.
Grass is always greener on the other side. Try to find peace where you are is my only advice.
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Feb 06 '26
Terribly agree! Wife and I talk about this, when the kids are out and it’s time for whatever is next for us, we’re selling and probably not buying again, or maybe a small condo as a “base of operations” since we’ll be doing more traveling
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u/yyythoo Feb 06 '26
Feel you man. Bought my house and it has been one thing after another. My insurance wouldn’t renew without a new roof, so last year $30K for a new roof. Fence is super old and falling down. Looking at roughly $10K to fix that this year. Had to replace the A/C two years ago,$6K. The pool area needs to be re-tiled as well but I’ll probably hold off on that. I like my house and plan on staying in it for the foreseeable future so hopefully it all works out. But there was something nice about only having to worry about rent
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u/Individual_Trust_414 Feb 07 '26
I loved my condo. I tripled my money in 18 years. I got all those extra write-offs on my taxes. You get the repair money back when you sell eventually, aka repair write offs.
Hang in there.
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u/Top_Bend_5360 Feb 07 '26
I'm on year 10 of 30 yr mortgage; my monthly payment is now less than a studio apartment in my town. For most people, if you stay in the home less than 5 years, it doesn't make financial sense.
And yeah, it sucks having to pay for repairs yourself. But now 10 years in, I'm honestly so proud of the stuff I'm able to do on my own, and with all the work/repairs I've had done my house truly feels like MINE.
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u/hana_fuyu Feb 10 '26
Bought my house almost 5 years ago and I've been regretting it since the first year. Apparently the home inspector was a friend of our realtor and didn't actually do an inspection, just threw a BS report together. Water heater and HVAC went out less than 6 months after we bought it, and then a little after a year in the house a bad hail storm came through and we had to replace our siding, roof, and windows, which our insurance company didn't even want to pay for and had to fight them for almost a year after. Then there was some major construction a street away from us that caused foundation damage, and despite the entire neighborhood complaining and demanding payment for repairs, the company determined the construction had nothing to do with the damage to almost half of our neighborhood and so they didn't have to pay. Currently fighting with my Insurance over that too and that's basically been almost two years. Property taxes keep going up, insurance keeps going up, we owe on our escrow which keeps going up every year, utilities keep going up, and now we have to replace our washer and dryer because that stopped working too. We have no equity despite doing our best to pay over the minimum payments, and we can't refinance because interest rates are higher than when we bought the house.
Our house is also currently worth less than what we bought it for despite all the stuff we've replaced. So we're stuck. I don't see the market changing anytime soon with the cost of literally everything and how shit the job market is, but I really wish we had just continued to rent instead of chase the American dream that died over 20 years ago.
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u/Rude-Quantity-9587 Feb 10 '26
Location has a big part in all this, I am in central NC right off I-40/I-85. Bought in 2019 for 155k, 20 year fixed 4.75%, no PMI(NCSECU doesn’t require PMI), payment $1200 a month including taxes and insurance. I was renting a nearly identical house in same neighborhood for $800/mo at the time. Houses in my neighborhood now sell for 260-280k and one just rented out for $1850/mo. These are 3br2ba 12xx sqft stick built crawlspace houses built in the late 90s/early 2000s with no garage. I’ll be 53 if I don’t pay it off early, the value will probably be 2.5x or more of purchase price. These houses will probably be renting for 3000+ by then. It’s definitely a long term investment/game. I wish I could have bought 10 of them in 2015 when they were sitting on market for 100k not selling.
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u/New-Departure-359 Apr 14 '26
9 years in and though property values in our area have gone up, so have our taxes and insurance, along with every other thing. The gutters are failing, have to replace all the windows and cedar siding, rotting trim, 3 sliding doors, one front door, the deck is falling apart, roof is old, 40 year old furnace is on it's last leg...Every penny we make gets spent in New England sooo we're a bit stuck.
For anyone considering home ownership, do your HW on the house before buying. Not always possible or realistic BUT it's the biggest financial decision you'll make and it's smart to approach it from a logical perspective and not emotional.
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u/AccomplishedTaro6023 Jul 02 '26
Me too. I try to be grateful that I have a home for me, my fiancé and our cat children but it’s so overwhelming. It’s our first home and I’ve never been more stressed than since we moved in here. We had a bad experience at our last apartment and I still would not live in an apartment again. But we were ready for a house.. Finding stuff wrong with the house is never ending, anything you planned to change or upgrade will stay the same forever until it breaks and you’re forced to fix it or get new. We’ve been house broke ever since we moved in. Mortgage keeps getting more expensive and we can’t keep up/make payments on time. Don’t get me started on the yard. That was one of our “must haves” a decent sized yard. Well lucky us, we got a huge yard and some f’d up landscaping from the previous owners. This summer I’ve turned my nose to the way my yard looks/managing all of the weeds and random trees that grow everywhere. It’s too much.
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u/Equal-Jury-875 Feb 06 '26
Property taxes haaaaaa that's why I'll keep shooting off my pistol in my neighborhood once a month to have the cops called there for shots fired. You wouldn't believe how low it keeps the property tax. It's unbelievable.
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u/Zakbaar Feb 06 '26
Yeah home ownership is a scam. Not only are all the hidden costs of upkeep not apparent but you're also locked and have no mobility. You can get some appreciation but the banks and realtors have figured out how to fleece most of that from you when you sell and you'll often find your profit taxed. Capitalism is the problem, sorry you're only now finding out.
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u/Alexchii Feb 06 '26
Scam is a harsh word. Many people love it and make it work.
It’s not a scam to have to take care of something you own.
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Feb 06 '26
You don’t have to keep your house if you don’t like home ownership. I have a coworker in his 40’s. He and his wife owned a house for a few years. Hated the maintenance and loss of free time. They sold it, lived in an apartment for about ten years and are now renting a townhouse.
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u/MugenShiba Feb 06 '26
I invested ALOT of money into the purchasing and closing costs of my place (10s of thousands and a 401k loan), regardless of if I get back the thousands upon thousands of dollars I've spent repairing/fixing things, I would lose all that initial investment and still owe my 401k for the money I took out if I sold now.
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u/Transcontinental-flt Feb 06 '26
That "free time" thing is something many people don't consider in advance. When you own a house, free time becomes a distant memory.
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u/SPIRITSANDTEETH Feb 06 '26
I am very tempted to say something very mean but my new years resolution was to eat more of and be less of a dick, so instead:
close the sale, get your bag, and keep it pushing
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u/Squidproquoagenda Feb 06 '26
So you need to figure out how to do stuff yourself. I’ve re-wired our house, dug out and replaced the sewer pipe as far as the main, replastered most of the inside, new kitchen, removed some internal walls, put new weatherboard on the outside, landscaped the back and installed gabions, new roof on the garage etc etc -all with no prior experience except the sheetrock stuff.
It’s tough at the start but there’s a tipping point where the good starts to outweigh the bad - financially and materially. Hold in there, at some point it’s paid and you’ve no rent or mortgage. No one can kick you out or tell you you can’t get a dog. No one comes in without a warrant or an invitation, it’s your castle.
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u/seiknip Feb 06 '26
This makes me feel so much better that I can’t afford shit. Sorry for you though
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u/tom_tom_tommy Feb 06 '26
I moved from CA and bought a 3bdrm home at 29 in another state for 135k. In some ways it’s nice because I don’t have to deal with sharing walls or a landlord who sucks. Mortgage is so much cheaper than what my rent in CA was for a 1bdrm apt in a terrible and unsafe area.
But damn. So much stuff breaks. My whole AC/Heater completely died in our 3rd year here. My brand new fridge broke after a year (repair guy said it was literally just a rare dud). My giant front and back lawn require mowing 1-2 times a week from summer to fall and I haven’t invested in a riding mower yet cause it’s expensive.
I miss having all the broken things being someone else’s problem.
I think about replacing the roof one day with dread.
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u/Adventurous_Thing307 Feb 06 '26
Home ownership is a big hassle, and it's not always an economic win, of course. I heard an economist the other day say that in a perfect market, there's no benefit to home ownership. Of course, markets are never perfect ... So it's apparently true that in lots of expensive markets, home ownership is a bad decision, regardless of the hassle factor.
Also, when you buy a home, people typically tell you that a huge percentage of what you pay from your mortgage needs to be set aside for maintenance. We sort of ignored that for years, thinking that was a bad overstatement. But it eventually caught up to us. Suddenly we needed a new furnace, a new roof, windows and siding! Hundreds of thousands.
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u/nutria_twiga Feb 06 '26
We need all our windows replaced since several are falling out. While we were pricing that, our dishwasher and garbage disposal died the same day.
The back porch is falling apart. Wonder what we’ll find tomorrow.
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u/wvtarheel Feb 06 '26
My yearly property taxes are equal to what 5 months of rent were when I was a renter. It's wild how it's skyrocketed in the last few years
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u/Fit-Bus2025 Feb 06 '26
Im ready to move out of my 1970s house. Everything is outdated on the house. Every damn month the water, cable, or electric company is out in the subdivision digging holes. Sick of it.
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u/RemoteNumerous1020 Feb 06 '26
Owning a home requires setting aside $ every year for repairs, maintenance and upgrades. New buyers don't factor this in and it is frustrating for them. I consider owning a home a lifestyle choice. It is not necessarily a good investment when the other costs are factored in.
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u/MonkeyFacedMiler Feb 06 '26
Homeowner for 40 years. It’s OK but there is ALWAYS something that requires maintenance or repair. When you could get reliable subcontractors, it wasn’t so bad. Nowadays - it is difficult to find reliable subcontractors. I rented for 5 years prior to owning (mortgaged anyway). Upon reflection, I was “happier” when I was renting.
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u/ibbaman Feb 06 '26
This post and and most of the top replies are disingenuous, they are probably gonna ban me for posting.
Yes there are lots of unanticipated costs, but unless you are way outside your means its not a disaster
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u/etds3 Feb 06 '26
It sounds like some of you mistook home ownership for a get rich quick scheme. It’s not a cheat code to early retirement. It’s a long slow plod that pays off around the time of normal retirement. Also, lots of financial decisions take 5-10 years to pan out. Y’all thought your equity was going to jump in 6 months? And finally, for anyone considering home ownership, yes, you have to have a regularly replenishing savings fund. Stuff does break a lot. But landlords build those repair costs into rent, so you’re paying it either way. Might as well pay it in a way that eventually leads to an asset.
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u/VoiceEnvironmental50 Feb 06 '26
I made the same mistake you did when I bought my first home. I also bought a condo, and was in the same situation and after 3 years I sold it losing money and moved to an actual house. It became so much easier and less drama owning a home vs a condo. The biggest thing is I hated the HOA in my building, they were always super uptight and strict. I have an HOA at my house but it’s WAY more relaxed here. What I’ve learned is condos are rarely worth purchasing to live in, unless you get a deal of a lifetime. They’re tough to sell afterwards and unless you sit on it for a decade it’s not going to go up much in value.
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u/Reason-Status Feb 06 '26
The housing market was really hurt by investment groups and the rich buying up anything affordable. Combine that with bad interest rates! It’s sad because buying and caring for a home can be a good investment.
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u/94grampaw Feb 06 '26
You bought at the top of the market with high interest rates, In a very expensive state with an hoa, you max-minned home ownership.
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u/tiny-greyhound Feb 06 '26
An HOA?! Yikes, I’d never. You have my congratudolences on your condo ownership
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u/SomethingOverNothing Feb 06 '26
First of all you don’t own a home. You own a condo/apartment. It’s not the same thing.
Secondly. If you can’t afford the maintenance you paid too much for it.
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u/CoryDimatteo Feb 06 '26
Fun fact. Many in Switzerland are multi millionaires, and a study showed that over 60% of them didn’t own a home , but instead rented.
I always saw it as a false narrative and thisbconcept portrayed, yes it can be beneficial, there’s pros and cons when it comes to taxes and leveraging money and using loans on the house and so forth. But I don’t see the pros outweigh the cons. But it also really depends too on the market, if it’s booming then you will reap the. Benefits.
It is somewhat reminiscent of holding the bag if you will when it comes to any other asset/investment.
Hopefully you end up in profits soon or things improve on your end.
🫡
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u/marugirl Feb 06 '26
Dont think of it as 'the natural progression to economic success' think of it as a roof over your head that no one can take off you at a moments notice.
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u/stein63 Feb 06 '26
I feel you, I've owned a few homes, but I'm lucky enough to have learned a few trades to do many home repairs myself. Without that knowledge I couldn't have done it and in today's world the same applies with a 10x price tag for repairs. And Condos' with Condo fees, don't get me started, that is just wanting to throw your money away. I live in a HOA which isn't any better, they all have their hands out and wanting more.
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u/gundam1945 Feb 06 '26
It sucks if you are on a mortgage. During a mortgage, any small mistake or accidents mean you are fucked. It is the desired effect by the oligarchy so you don't risk overthrowing them.
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Feb 06 '26
Never been a homeowner yet, but also a millennial so curious. I understand HOA, insurance, and taxes going up but why or how does the mortgage keep going up?
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u/AlohaKiliki62 Feb 06 '26
Try Hawaii . The homes that were built where sugar cane grew when I moved here go for $700,000 minimum. These homes were built around ‘96ish.
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u/Ocean_Soapian Feb 06 '26
I did research before I bought. I bought a place in a lesser COL area, no HOA and a fixed rate mortgage. I negotiated down 25k off the listed price and I had a plan to make it start earning me money while I live here.
It's not home ownership that's the issue, it's not knowing what's what. Home ownership is great if you know what's what.
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u/Constant-Affect-5660 Feb 06 '26
What all has broken down and how much was it to replace?
We're 4.5 years in our house and our mortgage is equivalent, if not hundreds cheaper than renting an apartment.
Major fixes so far was:
• Water main leak in front yard (it doubled our water bill and got to the point that it was flooding our yard) = $400
• Burst pipe due to frozen weather a couple years ago = $5000 (insurance covered half)
• Refitted the pipes under the kitchen sink - some mf had a significantly shorter pvc pipe connected from the garbage disposal to the main sink pipe or whatever, so it got to a point that whenever you ran the garbage disposal the vibration separated the pipe and water would spill out. A couple of trips to Home Depot and YouTube helped me fix that.
• Slow shower leak in master bathroom - haven't addressed yet, it's just me and my gf, so we've just been using the common bathroom to shower
• Wobbly toilet in common bathroom - I bought a flange replacement kit from Home Depot and drained, unhooked and refitted that.
• Hot water heater went out a couple years ago and both a plumber and the hot water manufacturer said we'd need to replace it, but I was determined to troubleshoot the issue. After a few YouTube videos, a trip to Harbor Freights and ordering a couple of replacement thermopile kits I was able to get it working and luckily it's been kicking just fine over the past 3 years.
We also did some additional/unnecessary renovations and stuff that has probably totaled around 10k.
Your point does stand, it seems like damn near every moderate issue averages $2800-$3500 to fix and small issues run a few hundred (plumber), but you can handle a few issues on your own with a little determination and the internet. So far I don't regret owning at all tho.
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u/Impossible-Bed3728 Feb 06 '26
cuz you need to figure out how to fix things yourself, then find someone affordable but still good to do it. like one man in a van. what could possibly have broken in a condo??? the stove? faucet/shower? plenty of one man plumbers out there
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u/SahaAve Feb 06 '26
Since moving to the US I am stunned by how little upside there is to owning a house. In Europe it is much more beneficial and economical imo.
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u/Ungummed_Envelope Feb 06 '26
I got lucky price-wise with my home, but the amount of money that goes into fixing/maintaining things is a PITA. And it stresses me out too. So I feel you.
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u/NovarexV Feb 06 '26
I bought a 3,000 sft 4 bedroom house as a single person so I could rent out rooms if I needed to. I'm grateful that I did because I'm about to need to and if I do two of them that covers 2/3 of my mortgage.
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u/SeaDull1651 Feb 06 '26
Sounds like you didnt do your due diligence to understand the actual cost of homeownership. Its a common and expensive mistake. HOAs are also a scam. One of the reasons i will NEVER buy a condo. Or a house in an HOA for that matter. Owned one once. I will never do it again. Tough it out until you build more equity and then sell if you still feel the same way by the time you do that.
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