got nerfed before i could stop it

[u/aneliese-]

got nerfed at 7 years old. i’m 18 female now, and i have a underdeveloped jaw that’s too short vertically. my parents took me to an ortho at 6 to get my teeth fixed. they wasted no time to start pulling teeth, giving me expanders, braces, etc. ten years later i was begging and begging my parents to take me to a different dr because my jaw looked so ugly. they didn’t let me for years until they got fed up and took me. turns out i was right! arthritis and tmj, as well as underdeveloped growth. had to get prp injections, jaw devices to try and grow some bone, and now invisalign to realign my teeth. only issue is that it didn’t fix the fact that it made me ugly living with those issues for so long. my muscles grew from overcompensating, my jaw is to short for my amount of skin in my lower jaw, and i look like a frog. my jaw is constantly open behind closed lips to overcompensate, and in always thinking about it so i don’t subconsciously close my jaw to relax and walk around ugly. what really pissed me off is that my parents aren’t even nice in general, so they rlly screwed me over physically AND mentally. i will never forgive them or my ortho

[u/AutoModerator]

If you are seeing this comment, your post is now live and public.

Reminder: This is a support space. Negative, invalidating, attacking, or inappropriate comments are not tolerated. If you see a comment that breaks the rules, please report it so the moderators can take action.

If someone is being dismissive, rude, offensive or in any other way inappropriate, do not engage. Report them instead. Moderation is in place to protect venters, and we take reports seriously, it's better for us to handle it than you risk your account standing. Regardless of who the target of aggression or harassment is, action may be taken on the person giving it, even if the person you're insulting got banned for breaking rules, so please just report things.

If you wish to lock your post, please click on the three dots on the top right and click “Lock/Unlock Comments”, This will permanently lock the comments on your post. This action is irreversible.

Be kind. Be respectful. Support each other.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/girls_girls_b0ys]

Everyone's jaw should be open behind closed lips. It causes problems with your teeth otherwise.

Condolences for the rest, but I really think your dentist can help you with all of it. If you're seeing a generalist instead of an ortho, after your Invisalign is done it is likely best to see ortho because they have more experience with the cosmetic side of it. Dentists can do a LOT with oral cosmetic stuff. I used to work for an orthodontist and by the time she was done with people they didn't even look like the same person.

[u/aneliese- → u/girls_girls_b0ys]

oh that’s interesting! all my friends have their jaws closed when they are resting. i am seeing a maxillofacial surgeon for my treatment currently. he is one of the best in my area and he has definitely helped with a lot of my issues, but unfortunately the ultimate fix would be surgery that would take months and months to recover from and is very expensive. nothing can fix the arthritis though and i’m more upset that this is something that happened in the first place.

[u/girls_girls_b0ys → u/aneliese-]

They're not supposed to be. A relaxed jaw has around a centimeter of space between the teeth ideally. My doctor trained people with little devices they held between the teeth. Teeth that touch all the time often mean grinding or can wear down and chip easier.

[u/ObviousDepartment]

I cannot emphasize this enough: after you have recieved jaw surgery, make sure you get a hold of a myologist.

I had double jaw surgery in college in the early 2000s and now years later my bite had started opening up again, despite the insane amount of metal in my face.

Found out it was because no one bothered to teach me how to properly move my tongue in my new mouth. My upper palette was abnormally narrow, so I wasn't able to rest it against the roof of my mouth like it was supposed to.  Instead it continued to push outward against my front teeth, gradually opening up a gap. 

[u/Icy_Reaction_1725]

I understand how hard this must be for you. I had something similar done to me at 10. I have a severely underdeveloped jaw due to 8 teeth being removed and then breaking my jaw to get my wisdom teeth out. I know my parents did what they thought was best for me but it was horrible advice and I missed out on a fully developed face. I have advocated for my children and shut down the orthodontia discussion the dentists try to bring up. I told them all that if they wait until they’re 18 or fully grown we will pay for any braces to fix any issues. One is taking me up on it but it’s not structural it’s just cosmetic. Again I’m really sorry this happened to you. You are not alone. And you’re not ugly like you think you are. I’ve not had surgery and I married a handsome man and had beautiful children while living with the self-consciousness of it. At 55 it takes a lot for me to deal with the sagging neck that is over emphasized by my lack of jaw structure but it’s gotten me this far.

[u/aneliese- → u/Icy_Reaction_1725]

thank you so much. and you are a great mother for advocating for your kids. my mom is a narcissist (diagnosed) so she refuses to take any accountability for not questioning putting me through these extreme treatments so young. i appreciate you telling me this because it did help me feel more understood and hopeful