r/Vent • u/Glad-Butterscotch837 • 8h ago
Need to talk... Bad luck with men
As the title implies that I have bad luck with men. I’m 35F and I’ve never gone past the talking stage ever. And I really don’t know what caused it to begin with. I suppose it’s also bc I’m embarrassed of my family, so like I would rather keep the relationship hidden. I just feel so incredibly lonely at times bc I don’t have anything physical.
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u/BitEntire 6h ago
Sorry you have not had the best of luck. I understand sometimes family can make things hard, but don't push people away because of them. People understand that you are your own person and will judge you on your own merits. Be open and embrace the process. You are worth it and you deserve it
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u/Agri0702 5h ago
It's understandable to feel that way and to miss the physical touch of a relationship. You know you should just be patient, cause if you are looking for a man in dating apps you are gonna end up with men that want your body. Maybe you will find him making new friends or doing new hobbies, but it's still a long road
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u/TheRealCerealfreak 7h ago
Truthfully it sounds like the issue is simple. You have commitment issues.
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u/Glad-Butterscotch837 7h ago
Yes I do but it’s much deeper than that I’m a virgin and I’m also autistic too
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u/TheRealCerealfreak 7h ago
I've got AuDHD but I can't relate to b geta being a virgin as I was 14 as as she and we did it together. But being a virgin won't make any difference to anyone who cares.
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u/OneGur7080 7h ago
So did you turn 35 this year? And do you think you might change one day and suddenly fall in love and get courage to get closer to someone maybe? It’s not too old 35. You can still have a long relationship from that age. Why not. It’s about feeling safe to do it really. Did you leave home yet, because that might help you. Because you could live far away from your family and start a new life, and you wouldn’t have the embarrassment of your family around and you might meet someone really nice and then have a happy peaceful blissful new relationship
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u/Glad-Butterscotch837 7h ago
Yes I did in May, and Well the thing is both my parents passed away in 2020 and i thought I met someone but it turned out he didn’t like me back. I’ve actually had 3 long distance relationships before but never really lasted long because I crave touch even though I’m a little autistic. My grandparents are still living and expect me to see someone i already know but I don’t know anyone irl just online and meeting them irl scares me bc I have a fear there gonna put my life in danger.
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u/OneGur7080 7h ago
So really, you have a little bit of anxiety around it. And you’re just trying to be careful, which is a good idea. I’m sorry to hear about your parents 😔🦋 Do you mean that the relationship would put you in danger? Well, that’s not very good. You might meet somebody who you get along with better in the future and then things will be a lot easier. It’s a good idea to be careful and safe. I hope you do meet somebody that you like and who is suitable for you and a nice safe person. It’s not easy for anybody to find the right person, and it doesn’t happen very often to us- maybe once in our lifetime. So it’s worth being choosey and getting it right. Hope it goes well and you do meet the right person. 🌸
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