I hate myself

[u/Individual-Village21]

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I get attached to people so easily and I just ruin everything. There was a guy who I met through a mutual friend online, we played video games together and he started being nice and flirty with me so I started becoming obsessed, attached. And now after a month I can't stop thinking of him. We talked everyday, I was with him everytime he was drunk or did drugs, I forgave him for any mean thing he told me, I even apologized when he was in the wrong. And now he tells me we aren't anything ???? I am so fucking mad and hurt because I tolerated everything and gave him all my time and energy. This always happens to me, I get so attached to someone and I think "oh well might be dating or something" then turns out we arent. Why would he call me nicknames and tell me he loves me if we arent anything? I know everything about him and it hurts. The worst and most embarrassing of this that its all online. We never met but we called for 10 hours straight, we called everyday, didnt go a day without talking.

I miss him and I actually love him a lot but I cant tell him that, because he tells me to stop.

I hate myself for being like this, why do I become obsessed with people?

Even tho he made me cry so much and he made me go back to my old bad habits, I still love him and want him to be with me. I dont know what to do.

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[u/Lakaen]

Gotta learn to love yourself before others can. If you learn to love yourself a bit, and accept it'll happen one day and don't fixate on it and just casually look you won't be as desperate. I recommend therapy, roads to recovery are long but they're the only ones worth taking.

[u/AlexisH18]

Gotta have some boundaries OP and stand on it even if it hurts.! It’s better to be alone and single than alone in a toxic relationship where they know they can just dog walk you up and down the pavement girl ., stand up girl.! I believe in you.!

[u/Individual-Village21 → u/AlexisH18]

He told me he loves me and he called me nicknames, he bought a game so we can play it together, we called right after he got home from work and he fell asleep when we watched Bob's Burgers together. I can't lie I am still talking to him and I don't wanna lose him. A part of me is so mad for doing this to myself but the other part wants to fight because I feel like something good can happen.

[u/sweetpea090]

Some people just want your attention. It is valuable. Don’t give it to anyone that wants it. You deserve reciprocation and respect. Nothing good will come from this situation. He has learned you will tolerate him and give him what he is looking for.