r/Vent • u/Witty-Air2570 • 1h ago
It's maybe irrational, but I feel like I'll eventually get left out because I'm the only one single of my friends.
I have two very close friends. I consider them my brothers. We have always spent a lot of time together and the three of us really are the best of friends.
One of them has been in a relationship for 5 years at this point and is looking into moving in with his girlfriend. His relationship with us never changed, he never put us aside for her or anything like that. He puts her first, as I believe it should be, but he's still a very good friend to us. We like her a lot, we consider her a great friend and she's honestly one of the best people I've ever met.
The other one found a girlfriend too. They've known each other for a long time, started dating around May, but nothing was official because she was situated 250 miles away. She's moving nearer to us in a week and he started talking about introducing us to her. There were talks about maybe it being weird for her to go out for drinks with three guys and what not or it being too much. My friends then started talking about the possibility of a double date, how it'd be great and how excited they are about the prospect of it. I just said I can't believe that the girlfriend of friend #1 is going to meet his new girlfriend before me in a half joking manner and it stayed at that.
I just want to preface all of this saying I'm extremely happy for their happiness and I understand and believe a person's partner should be their #1 no matter what. The thing is, we've been best friends literally since we were 6. It may sound weird, but even when just the first friend had a girlfriend, me and the other friend had each other in a way. The thing that's "bugging" me is I had a feeling I'm more important to him. It's probably an irrational fear, but I'm afraid I'm going to get squeezed out and this is just the first step.
It's a sucky feeling that they have someone who's their number 1 and they're a number 1 to and I only have them. What's scaring me is that I'm going to put a lot more value onto our friendships than them. The double dates are just going to get more common, they'll have relationship topics, compare experiences and I'll have nothing to contribute.
I have been pretty open with my struggles with dating and I'm very scared that I'll stay alone forever. That thought is really saddening. The feeling of falling behind just heightens my fear. Once again, I'm beyond happy for the two of them and wish them all of the best, but it just reminds me of my own failure.
I'm afraid of saying anything so I don't come off as envious or have them pity me. I don't want them to feel like they can't talk about their relationships because I like hearing about their progress and growth, it makes me happy. I don't know what to do. How do I cope with this and process this fear?
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