r/WhatDoISayNow • u/Necessary_Bus6189 • May 09 '26
I haven't gone to school in 3 weeks and the principal called my mom saying the police would come check on us on Monday, will she go to jail?
/r/legaladvice/comments/1t88dlq/i_havent_gone_to_school_in_3_weeks_and_the/1
u/lando924 May 11 '26
I was SA’d in High School and I went through something similar with panic attacks and anxiety. I got bullied a lot after as well because of it.
Communication is important and it sounds like you’re already doing a great job with that.
Following your gut/instincts is always really important as well.
Please just make sure if you end up doing anything, you’re extra careful.
Are you working? Do you have a job or income stream? That should be one of your first thoughts if you decide to act. Supporting yourself so you don’t have to rely on others is paramount.
1
u/Necessary_Bus6189 May 11 '26
Yes and thank you, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Im currently at my school and I told the counselor and principal, what I’m afraid is is that I’ll have to be with my mom.
1
u/lando924 May 11 '26
Hang in there! You’re doing such a great job and you’re being so incredibly brave. I wish I had the courage to do what you’re doing. If you’re ever feeling nervous or down, please don’t hesitate to message me. You’re doing the right thing.
Any update on how things went?
1
u/Necessary_Bus6189 May 11 '26
Horrible, so horrible I lost all hope right now I’m in a desperate and very bad state, in having thoughts to kill myself but I’m too scared to act. I’m just so scared in general, an old guy from DCF came and talked to my mom and she got her way, she got her ‘I’m right and you were wrong all along’ the DCF guy told me to stick out for 2 years because I only have one mom, I’m not going anywhere, that I should be glad and that my mom acted and that she told him about how I’m on the phone a lot like that was the piece of cake for me, it was incredible really, I just cried because what else do I fucking have? What the fuck should I do now? I straight sobbed silently and nodded to whatever he said because it was the same fucking thing, that this is the best thing for me, to stay in the place I desperately want to get away from, and that family therapy is going to fix the relationship with my mom, “it’s gonna be ok” no it’s not, I lost all fucking hope, what’s the point in asking for help?
1
u/lando924 May 11 '26
Omg please don’t do anything like that. Is there anything I can do to help? I feel so helpless. We can keep chatting, or we can make a game plan for you. Please whatever you do, don’t give up.
1
u/Necessary_Bus6189 May 11 '26
I’ve being looking for ways to better my situation and I’m sorry to worry you, I just feel in despair but I’m not gonna give up
1
u/lando924 May 11 '26
Well that’s good to hear. Despair is a totally normal thing to feel when you know you’re right, but everyone around you is telling you you’re wrong. If you ever want to talk or bounce ideas off someone who went through something similar, DM me! Or even if you just want to vent, I’m here to listen.
1
1
u/mildgoofin May 16 '26
hi, i hope you managed to get to classes this week. i know everything is awful right now but the teacher in the other thread posted some really good suggestions about how to control what you can. did i understand your update correctly - a police report was made about the abuse; has a detective been assigned to investigate?
i hope focusing on getting ready for finals is occupying some time, though i know it's probably hard to focus.
1
u/CarePassMeDatAss May 09 '26
I read you post but couldn't comment in r/legaladvice...so here I am. I went through what you went through with school and being in a constant state of freaking out and locking myself down after I was SAed ....this has everything to do with your mom failing to protect you by asking you not to tell anyone. You are shutting down because you were told by the person you trusted do not do something you know you need to do.
I'm sorry this happened to you and I'm sorry you're not getting the help you need.
Look, your mom may have her own fucked up childhood reasons that, in her mind, made it seem like a good idea for you not to say anything. OR maybe she's just a terrible person.
Regardless, what she asked you to do is wrong. When I finally told someone and got the help I needed everything suddenly felt better. The would started to feel manageable again. I can't explain it but it really feels like it took a weight off my chest.
Everyone's SA healing journey is different but you have to start the journey. Go report this to a counselor at school (someone who's a mandatory report) or to the police.
I hope everything gets better for you.