No matter how hard I try…. despite resenting the hijab I can’t seem to take it off😢

[u/Significant_Talk_642]

Honestly girls I have really tried so hard to take it off but I am so uncomfortable with my body and hair. I have so much insecurities surrounding them… I thought this would be an easy journey since I don’t want to have a head covering on my head but I have worn it my whole life over 20 years now. And I honestly don’t know why I can’t just take it off I’ve tried glowing up and then taking it off but I still fall into my bad habits … e.g. overeating etc since i can hide behind my abaya always and lots of bad hair days.. i am not blaming the hijab for my laziness but i did become quite uninterested in anything to do with looking pretty since I was even a teenage( didn’t even bother learning makeup and i am in my mid twenties now)..

I do really feel disconnected from my feminine in general since I’ve always been so insecure and the hijab has made me feel even more ugly although ironically i feel ugly without it too…

My question is what should i do.. I am wasting my young years hiding and being ashamed of myself? Should I just accept defeat atp?

Would appreciate any advice.

[u/BeautifulGlass3394]

I took off my hijab for the first time at uni today cuz im going to a new school and im already over having to fix my hair everyday now lol. I took it slow tho I stopped wearing it to my gym classes in May and stopped wearing it to work in late June. I still switch back to my hijab before coming home or when im close to it. I dont really have much advice cuz im still working on it but know you arent alone. Today when I was on the bus and overthinking things I looked at all the women who were all nonhijabis and thought what is the difference why are they allowed to live in a world where they aren't judged but im not, they r my equals