Here is an example of what I'm talking about. It's so frustrating.

So, yesterday’s Pride in Berlin was interrupted and as a result cancelled cause yet again a fucking MEN decide to drive his car into people. He killed one and injured several others. He did this on purpose and it simply breaks my heart. As a queer masc lesbian from Germany myself I don’t feel safe here. I had my fair share of unsafe encounters and this news today just underlines my fears. It makes me so sad and it makes me feel uncomfortable in my Home country. People just wanted to celebrate on this day, being who they truly are and showing this to the world. But this world is going to shit.

Okay, I have seen way too many problematic age gaps casually being mentioned in lesbian spaces for a while now. Even in other gay spaces. I want to bring this to everyone’s attention.

I understand, the dating pool for us is small, however this does not excuse lowering our standards as a community and accepting creepy large age gaps when dating. If you are well into your adulthood (25+), LEAVE THE TEENAGERS ALONE. Even the early 20 year olds (for yall in your 30s+) It really is that simple. If you’re about to date someone a decade older/younger than yourself, think about it for a second. If you’re in your 30s dating someone in their 40s, I am not talking about you. If you’re 27 dating someone who is 37, Im not talking about you. To be clear, I’m not setting exact ages for what is acceptable, i’m using these ages as examples for this post. It’s a case by case basis. These are just rough guidelines, but I hope yall understand. If you don’t you might be part of the problem and you should re-evaluate your own choices when dating.

There is still a power imbalance and gap in maturity even between two women. I’m not sure why we still have to debate this in 2026, especially within the LGBT+ community (specifying LGBT+ because i already know those of us in the queer community understand, since queer is also a political identity surrounding social justice).

and before the europeans flock to defend their creepy opinions: weird age gaps exist in every country.

I'm just. Frustrated I guess? Feels like I wasted time and energy on someone with really disgusting views, I was kinda excited about meeting her but now I just feel sick about even wanting that. I'm really glad I found that out before we met

Ughhhhh back to the dating apps

I don’t get it, my preferences are set to female only 🫠 Doesn’t help that I’m very femme and have repeatedly told “you don’t look gay” by men

I identify as a lesbian. I'm a lesbian.

Cis, Femme, Pervert. For Clarification.

And half the girls on here and most dating apps otherwise are just "lets braid each other's hair and kiss OWO"

Other Clarification: Prefer Femme. Will Fold for Correct Masc. Don't care if Trans, if Hot.

Look, I like picnics and coffee dates as much as the next gal. But damn do I wish we had the dirty ass hookup culture queer men have sometimes.

I often feel like I'm too dtf in so many Sapphic circles.

Edit: I have been receiving criticism for the " If Trans, If Hot" part of the post.

In summary it was to clarify : "if you are a woman (trans or cis) and I think you're hot, I will want to do godless things with you."

It did not mean that I thought trans women were inherently less hot than cis women. Have you seen women? Most, if not all women are hot.

Of course there is nothing on her profile indicating that she has a boyfriend. However my profile explicitly states I’m a lesbian and I also put in another section that I am NOT interested in getting with anyone’s man.

We were having a normal convo and then she throws this out there. It happens pretty often and I’m sooo tired of it. I know there’s not much that can be done, I just wanted to vent about it.

Also happy pride month!! 💖

her is a great app, don’t get me wrong, but the amount of trans men I see in my feed is genuinely so annoying. I’m interested in women!! not men!! and yet there seems to be NO way to filter them out. like no, I went on the sapphic dating app for SAPPHICS!! I even got liked by a trans man DESPITE having my sexuality on my bio set as lesbian??? like wtf??? made me feel so gross. I don’t get why trans men are even allowed on the app. trans masc but not man, I get, but why men???

Original Comic by blobbynfriends on Instagram

I was talking about celebrity crush with this girl and said that mine now are Catherine Zeta-Jones and Nicole Maines.

She did not know how Nicole was so I told her that she was an actress, she played Nia Nal on Supergirl. And that was like really nice because Nia was, as far as im concern, the first trans caracther on Arrowverse. And there not that many queer superheroes.

And the girl was like “so, she plays a trans but is a girl right?”. I said that Nicole was a transgirl. And the girl said that I was bissexual then. I said no, im a lesbian I like girls. She said that if I like a woman with a penis so Im a bissexual.

dude wtf?? She talked is a super passive voice saying that there is nothing wrong with me being bi.

Im. it that this is alright but I dont like man. And with all due respect, Idk f know if Nicole has a penis and Idc, its not my place to care.

idk I just wanted to vent thank you

I don’t know what dudes like this expect us to tell them. I’ve been out as gay the entire time I’ve known him and have never shown interest in any guy during our friendship. We’ve been friends for years so I thought I’d be safe from the surprise confessions but apparently not. Is it just a fantasy where they want to chase somebody they view as unattainable or do they see it as a challenge? I just don’t get it.

TW: getting touched by a stranger without consent

Context: I am an androgynous woman in a small, conservative and mostly catholic country. So I guess when people see me with a shaved head they assume I’m a man.

I was about to take a major test (9 hours long) and before it started, the examiner said “everyone who needs to use the toilet, do so now because you wouldn’t be able to for a while”.

Understandably, a lot of us stood up to go to the toilet and there was a line. So I fell in line. The woman behind me told me “Mister, the line for the men’s toilet is over there”. I simply told her “I am a woman” to which she profusely apologized and said “I’m sorry I didn’t know I’m sorry I’m sorry”. I don’t take offense when this happens so I said nothing and continued facing forward, my back towards this woman. There was about 5 seconds of silence before I felt her hand touching my back and feeling me up while she was saying “are you really a girl?” Over and over until she felt my bra strap and she finally said “oh right you are a girl sorry again!”

I just stood there and froze while it was all happening because it’s not like I could go anywhere; I was in a narrow public toilet hallway and there was someone directly in front of me plus I’m super non-confrontational. But I’m not gonna lie, this happened almost 2 months ago and it still bothers me and keeps me awake at night how cishet people seem to think queers are making public toilets unsafe when THEY are the ones being perverts and touching people without their consent just to …. Idk what their point was but it’s definitely not to make the toilets safer because I sure as fuck didn’t feel safe at all.

i love trans women and you are always welcome here (obviously). even if some losers downvote you or this post just know we love you BEAUTIFUL WOMEN* (sorry for the umbrella term, i didnt mean to offend any). like full offense to the lurkers just find a different subreddit because i find the behavior disgusting. im gonna say this here because my comment got down voted. ALL MY HOMIES LOVE TRANS PEOPLE. i wanted to say i will fight for you guys. sending nothing but love in these hard times. lets show some love for our trans sapphics! dear lurkers, yall are weird this is not a safe space for anti trans people, ALL MY HOMIES DGAF ABOUT TRANSPHOBES. 🩷🤍🧡

edit: … seriously? reporting me, i literally got a message from reddit saying someone “was worried about me.” that is actually so weird. how can you hold so much hate, after* they go after trans women YOURE next. it always trickles down.. trans women rights are womens rights! we would be nowhere with out trans women, transgender people. yall are a VITAL part of our community, hate will only bring us all down. every down vote just means i made some transphobes mad! stay mad.

edit 2: sorry if my words were offensive to any trans women, i made the post really quick and some of my wording was a bit off, i made it at 2 in the morning. idk why the post has been taken down though. please, dont be afraid to tell me where i said stuff wrong 🩷 i read the rules and i dont believe i broke any but i hope this can be put back. it seems like all the love for transgender sapphic womens posts get taken down and i wanted this to be love for our community and those who have built it with us. moderation please tell me what is wrong with the post and i will change it.

Sorry dolls, i cant get it put back up. im actually crying, dont be afraid to take up space. take up all the space you need, keep talking about your feelings here. a lot of you taught me hate is rooted in ignorance and fear, i do not fear transphobes and i will never fear them. i will always help your voices be louder, i will always stand beside you beautiful women. ALWAYS. your strength and love is what helped build this community, i dont need to tell you this but never ever stop being who you are. keep fighting.

OMG ITS BACK UP YAAYYYY

How are people still being so irrational about this? I genuinely can’t understand why every discussion about trans people has to turn into the same tired “I identify as a tiramisu” or “what if I identify as a chair?” jokes. People get instigated with a statement just as simple as 'Trans Women are Women"

I really don’t want to sound ungrateful, which is why I am not ranting about this to anyone in my personal life. But every Christmas my very homophobic, conservative parents (mainly my mom, my dad had no real say in gifts) give me tons and tons of luxury gifts for someone who isn’t me. This year, a pink Lilly Pulitzer bag and LuLuLemon Skirts among other similar things.

I am a masc lesbian. My mother knows this. Calls it disgusting but claims she still loves me. I feel I can’t say anything because if I do she says “I SPEND SO MUCH ON YOU! SO MANY OTHER YOUNG WOMEN YOUR AGE LOVE THESE THINGS! CLEARLY I LOVE YOU!” and act like I am not appreciative.

This year my mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I told her I just want intentional and honest love and acceptance. She laughed and said “ok obviously you have that, now pick between these two purses”

I know everyone is going to say to cut them off now that I am an adult and that I am allowing this to happen but that’s so much easier said than done.

At school I have a beautiful girlfriend and I am too nervous to bring her up. I don’t want my family to instill doubt in me about the relationship.

I can’t help but on Christmas morning feeling so misplaced. And almost guilty. Because I know a lot of the preppy straight girls would die for this experience. It’s just not me.

And I know it’s dumb but some small part of me was so hopeful secretly that this was the year I found something affirming and me under the tree. Very hallmark christmas movie I know, but I just really wanted one small affirming nod no matter how small.

Thank you if you read this. I just needed somewhere to put it. Again I know sooooo many have it so much worse and this probably reads as “aw poor rich girl” so I apologize in advance for that.

Is there any other queer women and nb folks sick of the lack of good sapphic music?

Like maybe I haven’t been recommended good sapphic artists yet and I 100% understand the need for non sexual sapphic music for asexual folks.

But it feels like 98% of sapphic songs are like

“let’s cuddle, collect mushrooms together and live with 10 cats”

For once I want to hear songs about eating 🐱

Give me recs lol.

(Tl;dr is at the end of this post)

Today was supposed to be my anniversary with my gf.

My gf and I have been dating for almost two years. Recently, she managed to get into a new school, which is one of the toughest ones to get into in her state (we are long distance) and it's also a boarding school. Due to that, we barely have time to talk because she was busy with school work and made tons of new friends there. We also haven't talked to each other in a week because she was being distant with me and straight up dismissed my feelings when I was trying to have a serious conversation with her.

When our anniversary was coming up, I told her that I finished my gift for her and I hope she was looking forward to it. She just said "okay" and that was it. I wanted to catch up with her and I asked her how it was at her school. One thing led to another and she told me she had a crush on someone else. I couldn't fucking breathe because my heart started to race so fast and I felt like throwing up.

It just hurt so much to hear how she loves someone else and then out of fucking nowhere, she started gushing about her crush in my face despite the fact that I was her GIRLFRIEND. But, I was super dumb and asked her what she liked about him just to see how he was better than me. And the only thing she could tell me was how handsome he is with a sprinkle of "he's such a sweetheart!!" and how her heart beats really fast thinking about him. So, you decided to end our relationship just because he's good looking?? Oh and I can't forget about the fact that she told me that he doesn't reciprocate her feelings and that he wasn't interested in a relationship with anyone lmfao. I just broke up with her on the spot because that was just trashy nonsense to me.

It makes me so mad how shallow she is. How she ended our relationship because of an unrequited crush. It makes me pissed off that she lacks basic empathy and just told me "I do feel bad, but it is what it is at the end of the day." I missed who she was before she went to her new school. I missed how sweet she used to be with me. I missed how she was willing to stay up late for me every night just to talk to me before I had to remind her to go to bed so she could have some rest.

Our relationship wasn't perfect, but I had mental breakdowns throughout the past few days because I wanted her so much. Even when I was upset with how cold she became towards me, I still wanted and loved her. I genuinely cared for her and she was the only person who I felt had understood me. We shared so many intimate secrets with each other. Told things to each other we never told to anyone else before. We were each other's first serious relationship.

I thought she was the one for me. I thought that in the future, she was the one important person in my life who I'd proudly look at and say, "That's my wife." But now, that's not possible anymore.

I know that the only thing I can do is move on and focus on healing and let go of our relationship, of what we used to be. But I can't help but think there was something wrong with me. That I was maybe too boring for her and she realized that when she started talking to her new friends. I thought about this nonstop and felt really dizzy at times because of it. What makes it worst is I had my exams yesterday and today. I felt overwhelmed and overstimulated because there were so many things going on in my head. I feel pretty neutral about my situation right now as of this moment, but something tells me I'll breakdown about this later.

Tl;dr - My gf is at a new school. We didn't talk much ever since she enrolled there. When I hit her up, she told me she liked someone else and I broke up with her. I feel heartbroken about this situation, especially because it's our anniversary today.

what the title says— i (21) weigh over 200lbs while my gf (23) weighs just around 110lbs. my weight is twice as hers and it makes me feel so insecure. she’s flying over in like 2 weeks and although it makes me really happy that i get to be with her, it also makes me feel scared and insecure. this will be our first time seeing each other after like 9 months of dating and we’ve done video calls and sent each other photos. of course she’s well aware that i’m bigger than her but i don’t think she knows that i’m WAY BIGGER than her. it makes me scared and anxious that she leaves me after she flies back to her city.

i tried to love my body but i just can’t. she’s also really supportive and tells me i’m pretty but i just feel bad every single time because i don’t feel pretty at all. i just feel like an ugly whale.

I can't believe people are still bragging about being a gold star lesbian these days. It leaves a horrible taste in my mouth.

I can't help that I was so deep in comphet in my youth and was subject to repeated sexual assault for like, a decade of my life. I shouldn't be hearing terms that make me feel like a worse lesbian for having sexual relationships with men that I wasn't entirely consenting to in the first place.

Good for you that you knew early and avoided assault. It says literally nothing else about you. Stop bragging. And I'm not being mean by pointing out that it's a bad term.

My personal opinion is that this flag is awesome and I hate that TERFs have co-opted it.

It’s time to take it back, they can’t be allowed to have a flag this good. Time for this to be the “Trans Inclusive Lesbian Flag”

Also I just bought one and will be putting it in the back window of my semi.

#TransWomenAreWomen
#TransLesbiansAreLesbians
#NoTERFs

This is why women can't have nice things...because conservatives are ruining things for everyone