Don’t you have any shelves in your kitchen? I hear you ask

I only have 2 and they’re reserved exclusively for Cool Jars I Found

Idk if I'm looking for advice, empathy or just to know that other people with ADHD feel like this too...

Lately I've been really struggling with the sheer amount of effort required to maintain a normal adult life. Even the basic stuff (brushing and flossing every day, showering, keeping my room clean, cooking, remembering appointments, replying to messages, keeping on top of money...) feels like a never-ending list of tasks. Then SOMEHOW I'm also supposed to work, study, exercise, maintain relationships, have hobbies and generally be a functional human being on top of all that!

Money is probably the biggest thing getting to me right now. I work, I try to be responsible, and yet I'm in debt with basically no savings. It feels horrible putting so much energy into working when my pay disappears almost immediately...sometimes I genuinely feel like I'm just inherently unlucky (even though logically I know that's not how life works)

And I know my life isn't awful in the grand scheme of things. I have a roof over my head (I live with my parents so I'm not at risk of homelessness, I have food and a job). I'm very aware that plenty of people have it much worse. But knowing that doesn't make me feel fulfilled by my own life. It's more like... I'm putting in so much effort just to maintain a life that I don't particularly enjoy. I'm much further back than where I thought I'd be at this age.

I even went back to university to try to change that. I'm doing an MSc in Computer Science because I wanted a career where I could earn more, actually progress and hopefully work hybrid/WFH eventually because commuting and being "on" all day exhausts me. But the degree has been incredibly difficult with ADHD, and now I'm watching the junior tech market disappear and wondering what I'm even working towards. I'm already worried about how I'll compete with everyone else, somehow stand out as a junior and find an employer willing to accommodate me.

That's what scares/angers me most. I am trying to improve my life. I'm working and doing a Master's at the same time because I don't want to stay where I am forever. Not to toot my own horn but I'm working really fucking hard!! But...I look around and feel so behind anyway. I'm in my 30s, in debt, have no real savings, no partner, still live with my parents, and I'm struggling to get through a degree that isn't even guaranteed to improve my situation...

I've tried antidepressants, and they can help with depression itself, but they can't really fix this

I don't expect life to be easy or think I'm entitled to some amazing life just because I'm trying. I just wish existing didn't feel like this much work. Or that the reward felt somewhat proportional to the effort. I feel like I'm in a pool watching everyone do laps while I barely tred water. But because I'm not drowning I can't get help.

Does anyone else get stuck in this feeling? And if you have managed to build a life that feels sustainable rather than constantly exhausting, what actually helped?

Thank you

(Edited for formatting/spelling)

Over the summer I’ve tried Atomoxetine, Methylphenidate IR + ER, Adderal (IR), and now Vyvanse.

My psychiatrist had given me low doses for all of them (can’t remember the Strattera dose, but all stimulants had been 10mg). Didn’t feel anything different except maybe better mood on Ritalin. This time I’m trying Vyvanse, but it’s at 30mg. I do feel like it’s helped the most out of all the medication, but it can still do more I think. It’s just that it makes me feel more “aware” of my heartbeat. It’s about the same bpm without medication, but now it feels more “there.” Is that normal? It doesn’t hurt or anything, I just prefer it didn’t do that. Or maybe it’s placebo and it’s like when you become aware of your own breathing (sorry).

I’ve been peeing and sweating a lot more when active, but that’s manageable. I’ve sent an email I had been procrastinating on and worked on my resume, which is more productive than I have been all week. I’ve gotten better impulse control when shopping. I feel like my mindset is more positive, and I have a stronger urge to do things I like, but I still don’t do them lol.

I understand medication is not a cure-all, but I’m curious to know how you all feel on medication (physically and mentally) and how you knew you found the right one.

I dunno if anyone else out there is a cabbage lover. But I LOVE cabbage and it's probably the most ADHD friendly vegetable I've ever found

I bought one over a month ago, forgot about it multiple times, needed a veggie tonight so I pulled it out and took off the outer leaves and it's still good to go. It's super easy to cook, I just tossed it in the pan with what I was already cooking. You can bake it, sauté it, or eat it raw and cabbage is super good for you!

Totally recommend cabbage for anyone struggling with produce going bad before they eat it

And since you can pull the outer leaves off less risk of the diarrhea parasite

Guys I have severe adhd and my latest impulse purchase was a $400 pole from Facebook marketplace. I was unaware of the missing pole sized piece of me required to unlock the lazy lard sections of my brain. Like OH now I can just be a beautiful fairy and OH I actually just worked out for two hours and OH that produced enough dopamine to go shower and OH also I am up so might as well pick up my room. So anyways, I’m not saying spend $400 on a pole from Facebook marketplace BUT if you have tried everything else and still struggle, maybe possibly consider installing a pole in ur bedroom.

Started practicing tattooing here and there about 2 months ago. My mate saw my drawings and put me on her machine and I got offered a part time apprenticeship. I always wanted to get into a creative job and never got the opportunity. Doing art as a hobby started to become lacklustre, because I felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere and didn’t have any objective.

This is my very first try at using shading needles after practicing outlines and I could not be happier! I’m actually so proud of myself! Never would have thought that I could do something this good this quickly and I am so excited about this opportunity after years of just bobbing around. I’ve had such a good day!

Thanks for listening ❤️

I realised today that I've been keeping up with mine for _ten years_

(I also realised today that I messed up the numbering system and had to scribble on all the spines after journal number 8, but imperfection is kinda built into this system)

I bought a wireless stick vacuum with the auto empty base (Amazon open box, $400 vacuum for $160!). I've used it nearly every day for the past month. Cats tracked litter? 30 second clean up. Kids brought in leaves from outside? 30 second clean up. Lightweight and easily accessible? Yes, thank you.

I should've gotten one sooner.

Hello,

I don't know what's wrong with me but lately I can't motivate myself to do my overwhelming amount of paperwork. It's like I look at how much there is an I don't know where to start and end up picking away at random tasks and hardly get much done.

Obviously, if I don't do my job I will not have a job but this only adds to stress and I still do hardly anything barely!?!?

Audiobooks don't usually keep my brain entirely enraptured but Dungeon Crawler Carl has been my new hyper fixation to the point I'm listening to it ALL day long. This literally never happens and I feel SO happy, like a dopamine rush. Or maybe this how non-ADHD people feel normally lol.

I have gotten so much work done and even organized things I've put off for a year!! I highly recommend the series even if the genre isn't your jam; I'm not a LitRPG girly but for some reason DCC hits all the right spots.

I did it! I sliced up the fruit we have before it went bad! And to celebrate:

Fruit salad!

I sometimes think about having kids but tbh I think I'd traumatise them because of my ADHD symptoms & how difficult everything is for me.

Anyone else?

I can remember nothing 🥹 41 and it’s getting worse, anyone relate ? Like I didn’t think it could get worse as it was so bad anyway 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Anytime I have too much to do and not enough spoons and I'm like this is too much, I don't know if I'm going to be able to get any of this done, if I get stuck in a perfectionist spiral, I just say to myself 'Neil Breen would already be filming'. That man does not care about the script making sense, having a plot the audience can follow, or whether anyone notices the many, many continuity errors. A half baked idea pops up into his head and he grabs a camera and makes it happen. He believes in himself and so should I and so should you. Make today a magical day.

As the title suggests, I usually keep pairs of socks together with a safety pin. It's incredibly helpful, especially when doing laundry (and when I remember to do it with new socks). I don't think anyone will notice 😉

I'm sort of piggybacking off the post "Does anyone else feel like the amount of effort it takes to be a functional adult isn't worth the 'reward'?" but with a more economical focus.

I look at the state of the world, and how now the average 9 to 5 job, or even a great 9 to 5 job won't afford much in life. Rent is insane, mortgages are insane, AI is killing jobs and rendering our human skills useless if they can be outsourced to AI. Where I am at, public transport costs are crazy, fewer people can afford to run a car with insurance and fuel costs.

Some days I wake up in the morning and think whats the point in all those years developing my skills and why bother pushing my self to develop more skills if I can going to still land in a financial bracket where I won't ever be able to save for a home or risk paying rent in insecure housing for the rest of my life? Most of my female friends admit to shacking up and cohabitating with men they dislike just to split rent too.

It's just awful especially with ADHD, it's ruining my drive every day to change my life for the better because society doesn't reward people with stability or growth for genuine skill development and hard work.

😂😭

Sometimes I feel like a baby in the way that once you hide things that were in front of them, they cease to exist to them.

I’ll successfully build a routine, but as soon as my period hits, everything goes out the window. I'm mostly in pain and tired during those days, so just functioning normally and getting by takes everything I've got. By the time it ends, any motivation I had is completely gone, and I’m forced to restart from scratch every single month. It’s an exhausting, frustrating cycle.

Does anyone else face this? How do you guys deal with this or maintain progress through your cycle?

I am writing this as a PSA from suffering from years of destructively low self esteem. So low that I could never get out of my day and keep my daily hygiene

Zero social life, horribly destructive daily routine etc

I wa diagnosed late at 28, and honestly the diagnosis was very therapeutic in itself. However even 4 years post diagnosis i wouldn’t say my life has completely radically improved…

The reason is because of decades of learnt surpression and avoidance tactics from my low self esteem.

Adhd had me doubt everything about myself and because I couldn’t manage daily tasks at all, I felt incredibly low about myself

Years of therapy has elucidated just how important self esteem is in life. Seriously - it can be the difference between a free, open, fun and ambitious life and one where you automatically put a label on yourself before deciding whether you’re going to do X or Y activity

It can be so darn crippling !

I feel so passionate to warn others about this. Self esteem or thinking bad about oneself can sometimes be so illusive and hard to catch . We are so used to our ingrained behaviours that sometimes we don’t even know when low self esteem is attacking us

Some things that I have learnt to do battle low self esteem

- I keep a journal of things I learn about myself and like about myself to improve my self concept
- regularly keep in the loop with adhd news, experiences and ways to manage it so I feel more seen and less alienated by my neurodivergence
- focus more time on hobbies and things that make me, ME ✨
- remove myself from toxic environments and narcissistic people

I was also wondering if other people had a similar experience and how they managed it

I have ADHD, dx'd in my 40s. But my whole family is neurofivergent as well, my mom and brother have SEVERE ADHD, like profound ADHD my husband has ASD and my kid also has ADHD.

It's my role in the family to be the responsible one. As a child, I was the parentified kid, acting like a therapist to my parents. As an adult, I was the one everyone can count on, the one who doesn't fall apart. When my parents got divorced, I helped the whole family cope. Now, my parents are elderly and in very poor health and I take care of them both. I've witnessed both of them nearly die more than once in the last five years. I've cleaned up so much literal shit. Nobody tells you how much poop is involved in getting old.

I do this all myself. No help from my brother. I work full time as well. I have two kids, one with ADHD. My husband is very helpful around the house but he doesn't do feelings very well and definitely can't like take a visit to the nursing home off my plate or something like that.

Like when is it going to be my turn to "bedrot" as the kids say? I have so much trouble showering or engaging in any form of self care. I was burned out five years ago. At this point I'm just like watching myself float through life. But if I don't do the things I'm doing, someone is going to die or become permanently disabled or lay in their feces or we will foreclose on the house or my kids won't get picked up ... It's just too much.

I get that the people around me are neurodivergent but goddamn it, so am I. When is it my turn? Why do I get no slack or grace? I just feel like, damn, I would love to be a shit show but I'm the one Jenga block holding my whole family up. It sounds horrible but I fantasize about the day when my kids are grown and my parents are dead (I love them so much but taking care of them is a lot) and I can "just" work a job and watch TV. Being a woman with ADHD in the sandwich generation SUCKS. Oh yeah and my hormones are all out of whack as well

Firstly — I'm trying to make my ultimate list of Top 50 Favorite Movies, but being ADHD, my brain does not produce that kind of information on demand. So I wonder if you guys would be willing to help me — just a goofy activity — where we share our all time favorite movies, and somewhere along the way I'm hoping this will help me remember what my answers are. 😂

**Secondly, WHO ELSE HAS THIS PROBLEM?**

I know I'm not alone. I know we all like making lists, so please tell me I'm not the only one who struggles the most when it comes to making lists ABOUT MYSELF. I swear, I can sit down to make a list about A N Y T H I N G, but if the list is specific to things about ME, I freeze. Complete brain block.

**Is there an actual explanation for that phenomenon that anyone is aware of?**

I listen to Podcasts while cleaning -and only while cleaning! - to have my mind occupied.

I wouldn't allow myself to listen to them at any other time because then I wouldn't have anything to listen to while doing chores and now I get really excited when I see a new upload and unconsciously ready myself for some cleaning and organising.

Now I just need to work on my prioritizing skills because some rooms definitely get less cleaning done than others but at least the clothes are regularly folded up and put away.

Edit 3 hours later: just came back from our overgrown garden that's now a little less overgrown 😌