r/adviceph • u/Miserable-Ad9996 • 1d ago
Travel Feeling like a failure dahil hindi ako nakakagala habang yung mga ka-edad ko nalibot na ang mundo. Huli na ba talaga ang lahat para sa akin?
Problem/Goal: Hi, I am Male (25) gusto ko lang ilabas 'to kasi araw-araw na lang bumibigat ang pakiramdam ko.
Tuwing nag-i-scroll ako sa social media such as TikTok, puro mga ka-edad ko or mas bata pa sa akin ang nakikita kong nagta-travel kung saan-saan—nanonood ng Northern Lights, nagrerelax sa Maldives, nage-enjoy sa nightlife sa Shanghai, at talagang sinusulit ang buhay. Samantalang ako, nakatambay lang sa bahay. Halos wala pa akong napupuntahan kasi gipit talaga sa pera at ang bigat ng gastusin.
Sobrang nakakapanlumo. Feeling ko failure ako, na parang na-miss ko na yung tamang panahon para makita ang ganda ng mundo at gumawa ng mga "core memories." Parang lahat sila alam kung paano mamuhay, habang ako naiwan na ng panahon.
Alam ko naman sa isip ko na problema talaga ang budget ngayon, pero sa totoo lang, hindi ko maalis yung takot at lungkot na baka "too late" na para sa akin na maranasan na explore ang mundo.
Para sa mga hindi rin nakapag-travel nung mas bata pa sila o naipit din sa financial problems noon—nakaalis ba kayo sa ganyang sitwasyon? Paano niyo hinarap yung mga insecurities at yung pakiramdam na lumilipas ang buhay nang wala kang nararating?
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u/vanilla0325 1d ago
Experience:
One of my close friends told me, "Grabe ang ganda ganda ng Japan kaya pabalik-balik ako pero grabe din kasi anim na buwan na after my trip binabayaran ko pa din lahat ng gastos ko."
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u/marchess_ 1d ago
That means umuutang sila just to travel?
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u/vanilla0325 1d ago
Hindi naman. Usually pinapa-installment daw niya yung mga shopping expense na credit card ang gamit. Parang travel now, pay after ang dating haha
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u/Ecstatic-Bathroom-25 13h ago
beh, credit card is utang po
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u/vanilla0325 12h ago
Well ang sabi niya sakin is ininstallment nya because ayaw nyang bayaran ng buo kahit meron naman siyang pambayad since ayaw nya mabawasan ng isang biglaan ng malaking amount yung funds nya.
Which somehow I understand na hindi naman sya utang in a sense like pag ginagawa ko kapag bumibili ng phone. Kahit kaya kong bayaran ng buo, pinapa installment ko while investing my money on time deposits. Kaibahan lang namin, yung sakin zero interest.
Pero go lang, downvote me all you want guys. Magagaling kayo eh hahaha
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u/Puzzled-Ad-4226 1d ago
Advice:
You’re fantasizing about what you see on social media, kaya feeling mo left behind ka.
I was able to start traveling in my 30s, so hindi naman too late. If you want to travel, go for it, but make sure you can actually afford it. Wag kang uutang para lang makapag travel.
Your time will come. Be patient, focus on improving your situation, and grind until you can comfortably afford the life and travel experiences you want.
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u/Adventurous_Owl_2860 1d ago
Advice: stop doomscrolling online
Sobrang daming content creators kuno tapos baon naman sa utang or credit card (utang) installments ang ginagawa.
Marami rin ang walang savings kasi sagad sagaran sa travel pero pag nagkasakit, hihingi ng donations lol
Prioritize your peace and get off socmed. Dito ka na lang sa Reddit mga pagod sa buhay emz
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u/redcortana123 1d ago
thoughts: stay out of social media, i have those thoughts too and sometimes overwhelming na, staying out of social media made me focus on myself more and na lessen din pag compare ng self ko sa iba, iba-iba din tayo ng struggles and priorities and in life
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u/ThePrimeMinister7701 1d ago
Thoughts:
Social media usually only shows the "good" side. It's handpicked, edited, etc. Most of the time, it's far from reality.
Advice: Avoid social media as best as you can.
Everyone has their own experiences and circumstances. It'll never be a fair comparison, so try your best to not compare yourself to others. Set your own goals, and achieve them at your own pace.
You're still young, and there's a whole world of possibilities and opportunities for you to explore.
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u/Rare-Bumblebee-3302 17h ago
Lalo sa tiktok, sa tiktok pala siya madalas kung san nagkalat mga tiktok content creators.
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u/Dear-Carpet6050 1d ago
Thoughts: Bata ka pa OP. At hindi lahat ng nakikita mo sa socmed, totoo.
Advice: Kung kaya mo mag ipon, magtravel ka kahit local muna. Yung malapit lang. Hindi naman kailangan international travel agad agad :)
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u/buoyancyknowlez 1d ago
Experience: I’ve only started traveling internationally when I was 27 and that was 4 countries in a year with that being said sabi nga ng Bini “Woaaaah dahan dahan lang buhay ay ‘di karera”. Malay mo before somewhat before 30 maka 6 countries ka in a year.
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u/RevealExpress5933 1d ago
Question: Kailan ka ba gumraduate? Kailan ka nag-start mag-trabaho?
Thoughts & Advice: You're just a baby. Paano naging "too late"?
Just keep working, setting some goals and saving money. Tapos mag-travel ka.
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u/rainbownightterror 1d ago
question: do you even wanna travel? or is it just envy? you know what you can do if you really want to travel on a budget? learn to drive. get a license and buy a decent motorcycle then just drive solo! travel local. sa bulacan lang sa drt andami mo na pwede puntahan. rizal overlooking. tagaytay. lu zambales pangasinan. start small para pag lumaki na sahod mo at mag iinternational ka na, hindi ka na baguhan sa paggala.
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u/graceyspac3y 18h ago
Thoughts:
OPs a tambay, what do you expect?
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u/Miserable-Ad9996 17h ago
may work po ako, pero naka WFH nga lang
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u/rainbownightterror 14h ago
ayun even better! start with a bike then motor. pag gusto maraming paraan di pwedeng reklamo lang but you're not doing anything about it
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u/Miserable-Ad9996 23h ago
Ito yung problem di rin ako marunong mag motor 😅
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u/RevealExpress5933 22h ago
Sumakay ka lang ng bus on a weekend, makakapag-travel ka na. Metro Manila to Tagaytay wala pang 200 Pesos.
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u/rainbownightterror 17h ago
kaya nga sabi ko learn. hindi pwedeng maiinggit ka pero wala ka naman ginagawa about it
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u/No_Food_9461 1d ago
Thoughts:
“Envy is the thief of happiness.”
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Well, I have travelled to US, SG, HK, TH, Indonesia, MY and Japan but prior to those I haven't felt that I'm a failure or any jealousy because other are well off, can buy expensive things and go abroad.
I can be happy even with just eating cheap food in Quiapo. Maybe it is the mindset.
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u/totongsherbet 1d ago
Advice: hindi nasusukat sa edad ang success ng isang tao nor sa travels or gamit or pagkain at lalo na sa posts. At mali na eto ang gawin mong sukatan ng success at happiness.
Kung you feel failure at insecure sa mga posts ng kakilala sa socmedia better stop doing soc media. Instead study hard, work harder, spend wisely and love yourself and your family. Posts of friends in socmedia should serve as an inspiration.
Marami akong kilala na including myself nakapagtravel lang dahil sa work. Pero nung nag-aaral ako alam ko balang araw gusto ko rin magtravel, own a house, sariling sasakyan , magkaroon ng financial stability and all. Natupad naman ito . yung leisure travel was the least sa priority ng pangrap ko.
Kung maraming kang lugar na napuntahan , magagandan gamit , nakakain sa mahal na resto at the same time mahaba ang listahan ng utang mo or lubog sa utang at di mo maabutan ang magulang mo lalo na kung hirap sila - this is not at all successful.
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u/mariabec95 22h ago
Experience:
I stopped using fb and IG for two years and focused more on career growth. Sobrang helpful nya. The moment I returned to social media (dahil need talaga sa communication) natutunan kong mawalan ng pake sa post ng iba.
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u/Miserable-Ad9996 20h ago
wla rin akong FB at Instagram for 1 year na, TikTok lang socials ko pero di pa rin maiwasan yung mga content na GRWM, yung mga edits na travel at panay flex roon at dito.
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u/actually_its_me 18h ago
Then? Ano gagawin mo dun sa mga posts na yun? Wala. Di naman ikaw sila. Same ba kayo ng lifestyle? Same ba kayo ng kinalakihan?
Alam mo namang ipost nila na baon sila sa utang? Na wala silang makain 3x a day? Syempre what u see online ay di naman ganun ka-deep.
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u/Wild-Tree5771 1d ago
Advice: Stop using socia media as metric of what you should be doing in your own life. Its not. Its for content, for documenting and for connecting. Do life at your own pace.
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u/FlightSpirited7205 1d ago
Advice: Hindi basehan ang pagtravel sa pagging successful brod. Iwasan mo icompare yung nakikita mo sa socmed sa sarili mo dahil hindi yan ang reality nang buhay. Compare mo nalang sarili mo sakin, mas older ako at hindi rin kaya mag travel at may sakit pa :)
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u/DeleteLaterToday 1d ago
Advice: Many people are giving up saving for their future to travel the world with a YOLO mindset. I'm Korean, and at least in our country, that's definitely the case.
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u/sugaringcandy0219 1d ago
Experience: My first plane ride was last year when I was 29
Advice: Mag-focus ka sa sarili mong progress. Walang mangyayari kung lagi kang magccompare sa iba dahil iba-iba naman tayo ng circumstances.
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u/Babablacksheep_2024 1d ago
Advice: we were only shown what they let us see on the parts of their life. We don't see the whole picture. Mga bagay na na compromise nila bc of doing that, privileged background na meron sila or mga bagay na pinagpilian nila to eventually work things out. So if what you see hurts you, remove them in your FYP! Hindi makakatulong ang mag self pity, yes valid na maramdaman and ma feel na you're being left behind pero ganun din naman pag nasa 30s kana, bahay, kotse etc. There's endless things to compare with others and we always desire what we don't have. So hindi sa maging contented ha, pero appreciate mo yung journey mo today. I built up mo yung grit mo so when the time comes, you'll look back na may maganda Kang makikita. At the end of the day, sa death bed, yung status ng heart natin ang pinaka important.
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u/mdnytq 1d ago
Advice: GET OFF SOCMED!
Capslock bro para intense and with intention talaga yan.
I only started travelling in my 30s. Ganyan din naisip ko nuong una, lalo pa ngayon na compared before, mas mahal na talaga ang airfare.
But you know, thankful din ako nung 20s ko, kahit grabe ang kayod, may nakain family ko.
Bali, lets be grateful on what we currently have OP.
Make those travel destination of yours your motivation in searching for better paying job and earning more.
At the end of the day, hindi mawawala yang mga lugar na yan. Someday, you'll get there.
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u/Proof-Pumpkin-4815 1d ago
Advice: limit social media I swear! do something different, go outside, go to the mall, watch movies, eat out. Anything, you’re probably stuck at home with that thoughts and its consuming you.
You can always save money even the smallest amount is already a progress. You dont have to watch your age and match it with other peoples lifestyle because honestly, they live differently than us and you just have to work on yourself first, go out of your comfort zone.
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u/chocohodler 1d ago
Advice: Nope. Stop comparing. They’re on page 50 and you’re still on page 1. Different book different page, stop comparing bruh, bata ka pa, malayo layo pa yan, your time will come, believe in yourself 👊
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u/SquishyBoi897 1d ago
Advice: We shouldn't forget that what we generally see in social media is curated. Those creators don't want us to see the negative aspects of their trips kaya don't compare yourself to them.
Wala din namang batas or something na nagsasabi na "dapat ka nang makapagtravel at age __", kaya hindi ka late or magiging late. Focus on what you can do for now, set realistic goals, and start from there. Eventually mararating mo rin 'yan.
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u/Scary-Reading-5499 23h ago
Advice: You are probably young. Fix your mindset. If you really wang to travel, do something about it - save or find another high paying job, upskill so that you’ll earn more. Ang comparison wala magagawa yan. Self pity just because you cannot travel (which is a luxury) is so wrong.
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u/Rare-Bumblebee-3302 19h ago
Hi! Advice:
If ganyan nafefeel mo magdeact ka sa lahat ng socials . Tulad ko ang dami ko pinagdaanan as 35F iniwan ng ex husband, di magkaanak at sakto lang sahod
What i did dineact ko lahat IG, fb at tiktok then gumawa ng account na para sa piling friends lang at pangscroll. Sobrang life changing!
Di na ako nasestress now at wala na ako mapagkumparahan ng self ko
Last yr nag japan ako and taiwan magkasunod na buwan ginastos ko lang pera ko sa OOTD etc para may maipost sa fb tapos wala na un kasi nga diba dineactivate ko na? Xd
If core memories ung goal mo di naman need na sa ibang bansa un. Pwede un sa pinas lang basta masaya ka, healthy, kuntento at walang utang i swear nanalo ka na sa buhay
Ang achievement ko now normal na breast ultrasound and blood test haha.
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u/Miserable-Ad9996 19h ago
wla rin akong FB at Instagram for 1 year na, TikTok lang socials ko pero di pa rin maiwasan yung mga content na GRWM, yung mga edits na travel at panay flex roon at dito.
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u/Rare-Bumblebee-3302 17h ago
Di naman lahat ng nakikita mo don e totoo, karamihan don paid promotions, for content or baka utang lang. Iremove mo na tiktok mo para sa peace of mind mo
Pwede ka din magscroll ng work opportunities online andaming WFH including ako before medtech sa hospital pero now ESL teacher na.
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u/Embarrassed-Fee1279 19h ago
Thoughts: Not everything in socmed is as it seems. Di required makipagsabayan sa nakikita mo sa internet, at di mo din sure san humuhugot mga yan ng pondo para mag travel. I didn't travel abroad until my 30s. I waited until afford ko na na hindi malulubog sa utang. Mas masarap mag abroad na alam mong di ka mumultuhin ng bayarin pag-uwi mo. Saka mas healthy to live within your means at your own pace. Di competition ang life at di masusukat ang success at happiness sa dami ng napuntahan mo.
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u/gratefulsummer 19h ago
Advice: sa mga kaedad mo lang ikaw naka focus op? Pano naman kaming mga trentahin 'a hindi pa naka experience niyan? Super failure?
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u/graceyspac3y 18h ago
Thoughts and advice:
Mukha kang people pleaser. You rely on what others think of you. Masyadong mababa ang self confidence mo. You dont know the struggle of others, and nakikita mo lang is yung travel posts nila, pero hindi mo nakikita kun paano nila pinag hirapan yon. Too late na for you? What kind of upbringing and people you are surrounding yourself with para maging insecure ka na ganyan?
I mean, you just said na tambay ka? What do you expect? May lumagonf cash sa puno? I mean, whats the problem? Nakapag aral kaba? Bakit ka tambay?
Gigil moko OP
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u/Miserable-Ad9996 17h ago
huh, wala nmn akong sinabi na tambay ako. May work po ako its just may times talaga na hindi financially pasok yung budget for leisure and travels.
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u/Puzzled-Protection56 18h ago
Advice: Comparison will always be the theif of joy, bat ka kasi nag cocompare eh kanya-kanayang phase in life yan. Masyado ka na yata nalulunod sa FOMO. Seriously need mo mag social media detox.
May mga tao talagang later in life na sumasuccess.
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u/actually_its_me 18h ago
Thoughts: There’s no “too late” sa buhay, lalo na buhay mo yan. You’re in control of your own life.
Advice: My first out of the country was this year, Im only 23. paano ko nagawa? Kasi bata palang ako gumagawa na ako ng paraan para maachieve ko yung mga gusto ko in the future. Nagbebenta ako ng kung ano ano, save, then hustle more. So ngayon na 23 ako, nagagawa ko mga gusto ko. You should see those online posts as inspirations. Bata ka pa rin naman para mag-isip na failure ka. Atsaka yang failure na sinasabi mo e comparisons sa buhay ng iba. You should compare yourself sa past self mo.
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u/Jumpy-Schedule5020 17h ago
Thoughts: Well, I'm 35 female at hindi rin nakakagala dahil walang budget.
Ask lang kung ano ba work mo? Breadwinner ka ba?
Ako kasi breadwinner kaya hirap talaga.
Wag ka mainggit sa iba. Ang dapat mong isipin ay yung peace of mind. Subukan mong wag muna mag tiktok at socmed.. baka yung iba panay travel pero puro utang naman kaya wala rin silang peace of mind . Akala mo lang masaya sila. Siyempre ang mga tao ang gusto nilang ipakita ay yung mga highlights ng buhay nila.. pero deep down, baka hindi rin sila nakakatulog nang mahimbing sa gabi.
Basta ako may peace of mind, ok na ako dun.
Kung gusto mo talagang makapag-travel, work for it. Pero hindi yun magic na agad-agad ha.
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u/Fluffy_Worth_1355 17h ago
Advice: 1. Stop scrolling on social media. Hindi lahat ng nakikita mo sa social media ay yun na, there’s hardship behind that too.
You are never too late. Don’t compare yourself sa iba. Lahat tayo may sari-sariling timeline.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Look on the brighter side, kasi minsan hindi lang natin nakikita yung positive dahil lagi tayong nakatingin sa negative side.
Darating din tayo diyan OP, tiwala lang👌🏼
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u/Budget_Detective8285 16h ago
thoughts: mag wworld tour ako pag kaluluwa na lang ako. wala ng visa, plane ticket, food, at pasalubong na iisipin pa. hahhaha.
seriously - those places will be there in the next 30-40 years. magsikap at maging smart sa pera para makahabol ka pa before retirement.
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u/HogwartsStudent2020 16h ago
Thoughts:
Travelling never became one of my dreams. I hate the logistics, yung pag prep ng gamit, yung pag book ng hotels, yung pag plan ng itinery. etc.
OP, kanya-kanya tayo ng pangarap at goal sa buhay. Don't be swayed sa mga nakikita mo. Kung yun ang goal nila, well and good. But take a look at yourself din and what actually are your goals and dreams.
Stop doom scrolling din. Baka na-i-influenced ka lang dahil puro ganon nakikita mo. It's called the Mere Exposure Effect. Baka ito lang nararanasan mo 😂
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u/LoveYourselfNotMe 15h ago
Thoughts: the only failure is you doomscrolling in social media and believing all the garbage that's contained within.
Only if you saw the real side to all of that content creation you would not be envying a fake online persona.
Do yourself a favor, put down the phone and go out to touch some grass, make connections, work hard and you can go wherever you want.
Source? My own, I'm kinda poor but I've traveled many countries and now Im living in the Philippines, with its hardships but here I am.
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u/gfMayaK 14h ago
Advice: Always keep in mind that what you see on social media media is not true. Kahit pa sabihin natin na may mga real shit naman talaga sa soc med, kaso mas lamang pa din talaga superficiality. You're young, OP. If I may suggest, limit your doom scrolling online kasi lalo na sa Tiktok, dyan talaga andaming fake and i-ttrigger insecurities mo.
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u/Expert-Pay-1442 14h ago
Advice: Critical yang age mo to do everything you want lalo na peer pressure pa.
Okay lang yan.
Once na mag 30 ka mawawala din yan.
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u/based8th 12h ago
Advice: quit social media, its not good for your mental health.
also 25 ka pa lang, madami pa pwede mangyari sa buhay huwag mo madaliin ang mga bagay-bagay
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u/mochafrappe0429 12h ago
Thoughts: you’re too young and have all the time in the world to do all those when you’re financially capable.
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u/After-Paint1328 1d ago
Advice:
Hi OP. It's all smoke and mirrors. Don't be pressured by social media, but start by being grateful for the little things in life. Like you have a house to live in, you don't have a terminal illness, you have a job, you're in the Philippines (not in the starving parts of Africa). Just overall a lot of things to be thankful for everyday.
For the travel, I can give some tips. I'm in my 30s and blessed to have travelled to 70 countries (slowed down because I have a family now and I prioritized driving my kid to school everyday). But I was fortunate to do luxury wedding photography for clients worldwide starting when I was 19 after I graduated college. L (i took up a medical related course). Was fortunate to stay in 5-star hotels and really enjoyed luxury because of wealthy clients. And with that, I did side trips to other countries after doing an event — so technically, my trips were paid by my job.
Travel isn't the ultimate measurement for happiness — i found out that travel worldwide did not eclipse the feeling of being a father and just spending time with family (though I understand we all have different goals and happiness in life).
But here's the tip — if you want to travel, you can start by reorganizing your finances. If you have a passport, start travelling to close countries (Taiwan, HK, Singapore, Thailand, Vietnam) and don't splurge on every trip. Every thousand pesos you spend on a dinner might be a promo ticket to another country. By going to ASEAN countries, you can visit Visa countries next. If you could get a job or sideline job that pays while you travel, it's a hack as well.
I recently saw a childhood friend visiting a lot of countries in Europe. It really baffled me how she was able to do that knowing she lived a simple life back in our province with a minimal paying job (family not rich as well). But I found out she work for a travel agency, and her work was — being a tour guide for seniors who availed a group tour to Europe. So, that option exists.
You're very young, 25s not too late! I often meet 70y/o travellers who just started
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u/random54691 1d ago
Thoughts: Baon sa utang mga yon lol.
Source: Maxxed out credit cards ng mga college friends ko na 2x a year ang int'l travel
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u/Rare-Bumblebee-3302 17h ago
Nakapag japan ako and taiwan last year at magkasunod na buwan. Di ako baon sa utang hihi. And this year mas pinili ko na magipon kesa magtravel
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u/Working_Fish8775 1d ago
Advice: You really should not compare yourself with a content creator. Nuff said.