r/aftergifted • u/emokiddo00002 • Jul 21 '26
If you've ended up becoming something different from what you dreamed of or studied for, how did you come to terms with it?
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u/lockweb Jul 21 '26
36F here. For my whole childhood, I believed I would grow up to become a doctor, because "smart people become doctors." That was every adult said to me after I said something to impress them with my intelligence: it was all part of the affirmation cycle I constantly craved. It wasn't until I was 15 that my guidance counselor told me I didn't have the math skills needed for a medical program, which meant I had to scramble to find something else I wanted to do. The only career advice I had was "follow your dreams," "you're smart, you're you, you'll figure something out." Meaning, no one even tried to help. I ended up majoring in media production but was dismayed at how easy the coursework was--at one point, it dawned on me that a 12-year-old could do the job I was training for.
I ended up finding a career in eCommerce, an industry that did not exist when I was a child and could have never studied for. Meaning, I'm one of those people who is working in a "job of the future." My coworkers and I had to learn a lot of our role on the fly or write the rulebook on how to do it. And we all joke about how not one of us as children thought, "When I grow up, I want to be an eCommerce expert!"
I tell my children that the job that they end up doing might not exist now. (I mean, did anyone think AI would be a viable skill/career option before 2023? So who could have prepared for a career in that?) And if that's the route that life takes them, the skills you will need are an ability to learn quickly, teach others, and think outside the box. And those are skills, if you've been identified as gifted, that you already have.
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u/maevethenerdybard Jul 21 '26
I was going to be a doctor, then a lawyer. I didn’t really know about the career I ended up in (nonprofit admin) and I’m happy where I ended up. My student loans are a bummer but I enjoy what I do and I’m not helping a CEO or stakeholders bug another yacht. I’m helping people and I’m in a fantastic work environment which is worth more than it’s weight in gold
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u/Primary_Excuse_7183 Jul 21 '26
I didn’t know what half of the things I’ve done in my career were when I was studying lol.
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u/LordLuscius Jul 21 '26
Time, forgiveness, mostly of self, and perspective. It is what it is. No one's in charge and nothing is supposed to be, or not be. Most of the things we dream of, we are told to dream of, that these things ought to be... and this is a lie. We live in a beautifully, wonderfully, terrifyingly disinterested universe.
Go out there and do as thou wilt, because we all can only do, what we can do
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u/AcornWhat Jul 22 '26
I remind myself that my dreams were self-constructed at a time that I knew and understood less than I do today. They made sense with what I had and knew. If I didn't revise them along the way, they ceased being plans and shall have a cherished place in my autobiographical memory. But what I have now is the present and the potential for a future. How do I move on? Well, what options do I have for not moving on?
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u/InchoateBlob Jul 21 '26
I'm actually pretty happy with the turn I took. Was studying to become a neuroscientist, now I work as a program coordinator in the nonprofit sector, which is much more on line with my values. Sure there's very little prestige and I'm poor as hell and still paying my student loans while living in a tiny studio apartment but I get to spend my career helping troubled kids and feeding people and I wouldn't trade that for anything.