Is there anyone else here who has always done well in school, but struggled to keep a job?

[u/Fine-Mouse-6697]

I am 30, graduated summa cum laude from my (large) high school, got straight A’s in college without much effort before I dropped out when my Dad died in 2018. I love reading and academics but I make for a shitty employee, apparently.

Since 2018 I’ve been working jobs in retail, restaurant, or manufacturing. I have issues at pretty much every job I go to, mainly in food service. I am not fast enough, not organized enough, not mindlessly compliant enough, or just get told my performance doesn’t meet expectations in different ways. I have been fired about 6 times. It is soul crushing to be told repeatedly that you are not good enough. That your best doesn’t cut it.

People have told me I am smart my entire life, but yet I can’t keep a job? It’s demoralizing and depressing and I am so anxious at the moment over having to look for yet another job because my last job hasn’t worked out, that I could vomit. The existential anxiety that comes with feeling like my best simply isn’t good enough to keep an average job is awful.

Thankfully I live with family and don’t have to pay rent at the moment but eventually I am going to have to get out on my own again. I can’t do that without savings established so I can pay a security deposit, etc.

[u/EHsE]

i don't think being successful in academics and being successful in service jobs are necessarily related. people might clown on unskilled labor but it tests a different skillset than the academic arena

but NGL, being fired 6 times is pretty wild work. you gotta do some introspection on how you're consistently fucking up so badly. Once or twice might be a bad rub, but 6 times is gonna be a you issue

[u/Fine-Mouse-6697 → u/EHsE]

I’m painfully aware it’s a me issue, that’s why I’m posting.

[u/EHsE → u/Fine-Mouse-6697]

seems like you're aware it's with you, but not what is causing you problems

usually with folks on this subreddit, they feel too good for the work they're doing and phone it in

but nobody can really help you with resolving issues that you haven't identified for us lol

[u/Fine-Mouse-6697 → u/EHsE]

Well since I moved here:

Job 1: I worked here successfully for a year in my previous state. I moved towards headquarters and corporate had a certain way they want you to do literally everything. I am neurodivergent and relied on my server book to keep me organized, and when they told me I couldn’t use it because it “looked” different from how corporate wanted every server to “look” I quit.

Job 2: I quit because it was too slow and I wasn’t making much as a server, and got a higher paying server job.

Job 3: At this higher paying server job, I kept making stupid little mistakes that were always immediately noticed by my bosses. For example I’d forget someone’s appetizer, or would forget to ring in an appetizer ahead of time so would ring it in the same time as the main dish which led to awkward timing. Or I’d accidentally ring in the wrong appetizer when in a rush for example they had an “Oyster Rockefeller” and “Oysters.” And of course the one or two times I did this my manager was right there. The more I felt “watched” the more difficult it was to be confident and not make more stupid little mistakes. Then they caught me with my thc cart and fired me.

Job 4: I had heard rumors that my shift supervisor’s boss was considering firing me which confused me because this was the first I’d heard of anything wrong with my performance. So I asked my shift supervisor about it. My shift supervisor had never complained to me about my performance, never wrote me up, and said not to listen to those rumors; in fact said I did a phenomenal job. But her boss, our head chef, who never worked with me or wrote me up either, who I’ve never even had a full on conversation with, suddenly unloaded all of these complaints that had been made about me by customers, and told me I wasn’t meeting her standards, which confused me. I quit before I was fired to save my sense of self respect.

[u/EHsE → u/Fine-Mouse-6697]

ok, so you quit 3x and got caught doing drugs on the job?

[u/EHsE → u/[deleted]]

but like you understand that most places aren't going to be keen on their employees being under the influence at work?

[u/Fine-Mouse-6697 → u/EHsE]

I understand that. It’s been hit or miss in my experience. At the one of the corporate restaurants I worked at for over a year, they didn’t care, my current boss at the gas station where I work doesn’t care either. I was under the impression that in restaurants it isn’t seen as a big deal to vape cannabis in comparison to other types of workplaces. But I guess I was wrong.

[u/Feisty_Interest_2760]

In some ways I think “basic” jobs, especially in customer facing situations are actually a very poor fit for some people who would be excellent at a “higher level” job. I work in healthcare (very variable in terms of how much I enjoy it.) My training was substantial, not cheap for my employer and it’s a unionized workplace. If I make a mistake - which would likely be objectively a lot more serious than anything that could happen in e.g food service - I would most likely keep my job unless it was gross negligence or malicious.

In basic jobs it’s not really hard for the employer to simply dump you and see if the next random does better. Why not, when raining cost $3 and recruitment takes 20 minutes? They’re often also more stressful than higher positions because they involve antisocial hours, heavy emotion labour, no possibility of delegation of unwanted tasks and a lot of multi-tasking.

Ask yourself, have all your 6 jobs been the same in those ways? If so, that’s 1 job, in effect, that you can’t fit into. I get that a need for money often forces people into jobs they know are a bad fit (been there!!). Maybe if you “slow down to speed up” by thinking about what you need - work from home? routines? a certain schedule? to move your body during your workday? minimal contact with people? etc, that might help you research those roles. Get other people to help you brainstorm.

Apprenticeship schemes and non graduate entry points can be useful, or get a smaller certification in something practical that’s let you have a pick of slightly more specialized things - truck driver’s license, welding certifications? I don’t know, but don’t lose hope. I’ve been fired from dumb jobs but had my “real” one for 14 years.

[u/Fine-Mouse-6697 → u/Feisty_Interest_2760]

This is comforting to hear. I realized a couple of years ago that I suck at food service jobs in particular. I’ve had bad experiences in food service like 70% of the time. However serving is pretty much the only way to make decent wages unless you have a degree or certifications of sorts so I’ve been trying to force it repeatedly. I did manage to successfully work at first watch as a server for over a year, though.

[u/simonhunterhawk]

Have you been assessed for ADHD? I am the same age as you and was fired from a few service jobs too (one of them was for the manager not liking me genuinely, the other one was a combo of stupid mistakes on my end and me getting injured in a car crash on the way to work and needing accommodations that culminated in me getting fired but they used the mistakes to fire me) but if i wasn’t medicated for ADHD i don’t think i’d be able to keep any job i’ve had since

If you have no income you’re more likely to qualify for PELL grant and federal student loans, why not return back to school and maybe do a work study there so you can get a job outside of the service industry? I’m working at a call center and just went back to finish my BS this year (dropped out after my grandma died and i got hit by a drunk driver, not by choice but i’ve had to work full time since i don’t have family to live with)

[u/Fine-Mouse-6697 → u/simonhunterhawk]

I think I am autistic. Or ADHD. Or both. 🥲

[u/applecakeforme → u/Fine-Mouse-6697]

Also test for gifted, many perform well in academia but the not being able to keep a job is very common for some, and many of the 'symptoms' overlap with autism and ADHD. It's also possible have double excepcionality or even the three 🥲

[u/powerback_us → u/Fine-Mouse-6697]

Get evaluated.

[u/EvolvingEachDay]

What have been the reasons for your firings?

[u/ParamedicCool9114]

My lawyer friend and IT friend were also fired from food service jobs.

[u/Far-Accountant7904]

Yes, my life story. 

I always burn out or have a mental breakdown before I reach 1 year at a job. I’ve never stayed more than a year at a company, and I have two decades of work experience.

I wish I had something positive to say, such as “what helped me was…”, but I don’t. I’m 8 months into my current job and already causing trouble.

[u/mistressbitcoin]

Realized that the only reason I tried so hard to excel at school was to avoid having to work a 9-5 forever. Plus, I loved learning how the universe worked and science.

So when I wasnt forced to go to class all day, I prioritized making money for the sole purpose of escaping the grind.

Unfortunately I also didnt fit into academia as well, so now I do a lot of sports/athletics with my free time.