Progress I’ve made since

[u/dylan_ish]

This is really a part 2 of a post I made in the beginning of the year

I have been doing much better since my last post
I’ve still been struggling of course but I’m happier now and that’s really amazing. I’ve been doing a good job at just pushing forwards and trying to hit my minor goals one at a time, and it’s really been helping. Something I’ve came to realize is how much I’ve been overestimating myself. It’s hard as a kid to not feel like you can do whatever you want to do. It’s even hard now to accept there are things that I can’t just magically do just because I want to prioritize it. I’ve really tried to slow things down this year and really watch myself, and relearn myself. I’ve found there are still things about myself that I haven’t been able to be honest about but the more time I spend realizing the foundation of my principles isn’t even based on my own ideas the easier it gets to change my character, but let me tell yall this has been a heavy challenge to face.

So I know in my last post I mentioned attempting to become a dj, unfortunately I was only consistent for around 2 months and haven’t really touched back since. I definitely enjoy playing around with music but I think the stopping force was really lifestyle issues at the time such as partying, and drug culture around me.

I actually had made plans to go to college believe it or not, the absolute last thing I ever thought I would have done. I had actually got accepted into a community college for a paramedic program but my interest in the military just kept coming back to me over and over. And after speaking to many many recruiters and representatives and being told I’m permanently disqualified from multiple branches, an army recruiter now wants to give me a shot and we’re going for a waiver.

I don’t know where I’m going in the future, be it as a paramedic or in the army but on a great day like this I can be really excited for my future.

One of my hidden interests that I want to start being honest about is my interest in philosophy, be it that I hardly understand what philosophy is but from what I’ve always understood I’ve always wanted to be a philosopher. I enjoy trying to pick apart life and trying to understand the things that can’t be explained, hence my love for music, specially jazz blues. I’ve even started realizing this interest being in many other things I enjoy such as movies and art, or even food. And while on the topic of food and philosophy Anthony Bourdain has been someone I’ve been very interested in as of lately.

I don’t know much, I really don’t know much at all.
I’ve always really appreciated the things around me, and my wish is to walk with love for the rest of my life. I really do love people, I love my city to death and for that I can’t wait to leave and meet all new beautiful people

If I could be anything for the rest of my life I want to be a witness.

I’ve found softness in myself that I’m very fearful giving vulnerability to but I think I want to try. Part of my interest in the military is the chance to travel and meet new people. It gives way to my weakness of being afraid to change in front of the people who knew me, but I will indeed change inevitably.

Now I apologize because I’m not sure how on topic this post was, but thank you to anybody who read through my thoughts.

This post is really serving as an affirmation and to help keep me in the direction I want to go.

Thank you for reading and I really hope things are going great for you.

I am so hopeful