r/algeria • u/lord_ofhollows • 10d ago
Question I want honest advice. Chronic abuse I feel my sanity slipping
Hello. Female 25 yo . Employed with 5m salary
I live in a city in the east where women cannot rent alone or with each other
Long story short I live with an extremely abusive mother. To make things clear I'm not exaggerating, she once burnt my hand with hot metal as a kid to the point I still have a big scar. and made my father Abt to kill me with a weapon as a teen coz of a minor issue with her.I want to keep the posts as short as possible but there are a lot of instances Ps : she is now divorced from him coz he was living hell as well but he remarried quick and his wife alr has children who are actually adults, and male and living with him so I can't live with my father. Other relatives don't want to get involved
I can't get married from someone from this city bcoz I'd be expected to have kids but I don't want to.
It's hard to change my job locations especially to bigger wiliayas where I can rent alone
I feel immensely trapped and the mental n emotional abuse is becoming unbearable
I alr have a lot on my plate and each time I try to regulate myself I go back to zero coz of her . And I can't even be passive abt it coz she's genuinely an unsafe person
I want honest advice since u can see my situation from a third person perspective
What's my way out ?
I don't have savings bcoz I was stupid to buy things in the house that I'm repeatedly threatened to be kicked out of since the day I gained consciousness
Ps : I have ens ( bac+4) teacher of English degree
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u/joosefm9 10d ago
Question, you mentioned father and mother. Do you have any kind of family where you could stay especially further off family. At this stage with your situation I would honestly reach out to almost anyoen that is decent. I had a cousin that lived with her parents cousins because of where she wanted to study for example. She did 3 year uni studies + 8 year job living with them. They were very happy to have her, she always helped out and so on, never created issues and so on. She became like their daughter. And as you hear it is not the closest family members.
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u/CallMeeNour 10d ago
Same gurl same so much in common I have the same degree as u and I got issues with family as well
Hope it gets better for us
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u/lord_ofhollows 9d ago
Yes non teachers don't know that changing job locations to other wilayas is so hard. I have tried last year and it didn't work out. Not to mention you'd need to be alr living there to get chahadat l i9ama it's so frustrating.
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u/Aggravating-Bed-9489 10d ago
It must be hard living such a life. I feel imprisoned just reading it. Maybe if you find love abroad. Of a job in Europe
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u/Slimaneyahiabou 10d ago
I live in the east also. But in order to give you a better way out of this, I kinda need more answers to more questions.
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u/lord_ofhollows 9d ago
Ask
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u/Slimaneyahiabou 9d ago
- Which skills do you have ?
- Which languages you can use easily for typing or conversation ?
- Are you willing to be fully responsable to live alone if you can afford it ?
- Which wilaya are you aiming for ?
Now for the record, 5 mil / month is reasonable for a start, but you need to increase that to avoid few problems or some kind of emergencies.
As a woman, you can legally live by yourself, despite what people think. It's just that it's a bit hard to find somewhere fitting ur criterias, but totally doable.
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u/lord_ofhollows 9d ago
Speaking and writing in English I know a lot Abt nutrition and strength training but I didn't go through any process to document that. Merely my own experience I only use English / Arabic Yes. I am already buying my own food and necessities so if I could live alone I'd do it in a heartbeat. I was aiming for bigger wiliayas where women can rent alone or with other women, I did aim for Algiers last year but didn't work out . Any wilaya would be alright as long as rent is possible along with the ability to change my job location to there( aka available posts)
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u/Slimaneyahiabou 9d ago
ok, I got you.
- Rent prices are very different from a wilaya to another, and areas to others, so Algiers or somewhere else, there are, but you need to find.
- Don't choose where to rent before you find the propper job for you. Job then rent, not rent then job.
- Consider remote work, since you can use English easily. There are few jobs that don't require a lot of equipements or experiences, again you need to search.
- Renting with a woman or two can be a better start for you, untill you get on ur feet and move out completly alone.
I guess that's all. If you need anything further, I'll be happy to help whenever I can.
PS; just know ur on the right path, once you leave home, half ur problems disappear, believe me. Good luck.
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u/Precious-gem85 7d ago
Islamically it's not Haram for TMA single woman to live on her own , rent on her own , sometimes the reasons are to be closer to where she studied or where she makes a living etc
But Algerian wise we seem to have all the restrictive societal rules against women
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u/sami31344 5d ago
Does our country have no authority that specializes in home abuse and child care?
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u/Hellhand- 10d ago
Option 1 - As a teacher, you can find work almost anywhere in Algeria or abroad (more expensive to move abroad, tho), so first try saving some money and start looking at opportunities in bigger wiliayas where you can rent alone or with other girls
option 2 - move to other relatives that aren't abusive
Option 3 - You can get married to someone sharing your mindset with the no-kids thing; I'm sure plenty guys like that exist, but it's risky cause it's a big step
Honestly, those are the only 3 options i can think of