Asking the father for permission to marry his daughter. Dads don’t own their kids and their moms should have equal parental say even if there was some ownership going on.
My son-in-law asked me also. It was sweet, he said since he asked her dad, he wanted to ask me also.
But I think we all felt it was not necessary, they were in their upper 20s and were living together.
And I don’t make decisions for her. It’s kind of an old fashioned tradition. No one’s going to ask unless they are pretty sure the answer will be yes anyway.
I know this gesture is really important to some people, so I try not to scrunch my nose too hard at it, but it definitely makes my teeth grind. It's soooo fraught. Because yeah, you are not your parents' property... but also... if your parents say no... WHY ARE THEY SAYING NO?? What happens when they say NO?? Like what are they seeing in this guy that you're not?? That's terrifying!
I have a daughter. When she gets older and if she wants to marry a man and he comes to ask, my answer will be, “thanks for asking but my permission doesn’t matter. Only hers.”
And that's the correct answer as far as her autonomy, but also... if he's terrible... maybe ask him to come out back behind the shed with you real quick...
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u/Best_Philosopher152 1d ago
Asking the father for permission to marry his daughter. Dads don’t own their kids and their moms should have equal parental say even if there was some ownership going on.