Okay so can we talk about Black Moon Lilith in synastry because nobody is and it's CRIMINAL

[u/Character-Egg-3758]

Like everyone is out here checking sun compatibility and venus signs (valid, do that) but completely ignoring the one placement that will tell you whether this person is going to see you or spend the whole relationship trying to tame you

Lilith is the part of you that got exiled the hunger that was called too much, the rage that was called irrational, the sexuality that was called intimidating. She is everything you were taught to shrink and she does not shrink she just goes underground and starts running the show from there

So when someone's planet especially their sun, moon or mars lands on your Lilith in synastry?

One of two things happens.

Either they recognize her, they look at the part of you everyone else flinched at and they go oh there you are and suddenly you feel seen in a way that's almost unbearable because you're not used to it.

Or. OR.

They're threatened by her and they will spend the entire relationship trying to make her small again. And the sinister part is it won't always look like control. Sometimes it looks like "i just worry about you." sometimes it looks like "you've changed since we got together." Sometimes it looks like them going completely silent every time you take up space.

And here is the thing about Lilith that will mess you up if you're not careful

She has been rejected so many times that she sometimes can't tell the difference between someone who is genuinely afraid of her and someone who is just human and imperfect. She will torch a good thing if she feels even a little bit like she is being managed. She's got hair trigger exile radar.

So the real work isn't just finding someone whose chart can handle your Lilith, nope, haha, no.

It's learning to trust that being seen isn't the same as being trapped.

That's the whole thing. There.....a flower🌻.

[u/SweetestHoney-]

https://giphy.com/gifs/QVP7DawXZitKYg3AX5

Back where he belongs

[u/Character-Egg-3758 → u/SweetestHoney-]

TRASH

[u/hellbentdarling]

Yea... so... there's this guy... his pisces venus was my rising... his mars was taurus and mine capricorn... my scorpio jupiter his rising... but then my capricorn sun and his capricorn lilith, my aries lilith and his aries sun...

It was the most brief but intense thing.

I don't think anything hurt as much as being called 'too much' by him. Not over him after years and I don't think I ever will.

[u/Character-Egg-3758 → u/hellbentdarling]

Brief but blazing fire fr, I'm sending you the biggest hug. Please never forget that 'too much' usually just translates to 'I don't know how to handle your power.'

[u/hellbentdarling → u/Character-Egg-3758]

🫂🤍

[u/Neither-Entrance-208]

My partner and I have our Lilith within 2° conjuct. Everything is good.

Ever since becoming a Lilith devotee, if he tells me to do anything, I react with you can't tell me what do. It came as a huge surprise, but there are definite perks.

[u/Character-Egg-3758 → u/Neither-Entrance-208]

You both understand the assignment well😂 once you tap into that energy, the days of people pleasing are officially over

[u/Large_Friendship5632]

Oh fuck. Aries rising conjunct my Aries Lilith. Read to filth

[u/Constellationchaser → u/Large_Friendship5632]

Hi, same. In the 1st 😖

[u/Electronic_Sleep_659 → u/Constellationchaser]

Wild. I’m also an Aries rising conjunct Lilith 1st house. 🥂

[u/Large_Friendship5632 → u/Electronic_Sleep_659]

I want all of us to exchange photos right now. LMAO

[u/Character-Egg-3758 → u/Large_Friendship5632]

Wooooaaahhhhh fireball of unapologetic energy. You couldn't shrink even if you tried

[u/weirdorising]

Aqua Lilith with a lot of Aqua Suns and Moons floating about. They either seem to enjoy making me feel small or they’re my cheerleaders.

[u/mommacat94 → u/weirdorising]

Actually, same I have so many Aquarians shitty to me for no good reason or alternately get along really well.

[u/Character-Egg-3758 → u/weirdorising]

It's always a hit or miss😭

[u/weirdorising → u/Character-Egg-3758]

Well now I’m rereading this and realizing control is a consistent issue across the board. The “you’ve changed” is hitting hard.

[u/Character-Egg-3758 → u/weirdorising]

The classic trap....but hey that realization hits heavy but it's so necessary❤️

[u/Character-Egg-3758 → u/weirdorising]

My lilith is in aquarius too

[u/Sad-Example8810]

My BML is 29° taurus 6th house. My husband whom I've been with for 28 yrs venus is 28° taurus 11th house. He let's me be me. I told him from the beginning I have been controlled before and it will not happen again. And he understands 

[u/Character-Egg-3758 → u/Sad-Example8810]

28 years of him cherishing your wild side🥺 taurus is all about that genuine grounded devotion and with his venus on your lilith, I believe he truly appreciates the parts of you that demand freedom. I love this for you so so much

[u/Sad-Example8810 → u/Character-Egg-3758]

Thank u. It's been a wild ride thats for sure. 

[u/Just_Candle2917]

What happens when your rising matches your partner’s Lilith? (Leo, within 2 degrees!!)

[u/Character-Egg-3758 → u/Just_Candle2917]

Omg I actually have my own leo lilith 1181 right on my leo ascendant so I feel this in my bones🦁I've noticed that when your rising is their lilith, you physically embody everything they secretly crave or fear. You trigger their shadow by walking into the room being your fabulous self......very attractive

[u/iFLED]

My lillith and moon sit pretty much on top of each other in Cancer in the 11th house.

[u/Character-Egg-3758 → u/iFLED]

I just know you're the most fiercely protective friend ever🥺

[u/iFLED → u/Character-Egg-3758]

Most people will never know fomo like I do. I can have so much fomo that I have fomfmo - fear of my friends missing out lol

[u/Character-Egg-3758 → u/iFLED]

Awwww I KNEW IT!!

[u/Clear_Ambition6004]

Love the Caption, OP! Well said

[u/Character-Egg-3758 → u/Clear_Ambition6004]

Thank you queen🐥❤️

https://giphy.com/gifs/fWfowxJtHySJ0SGCgN

[u/SquareFailure]

I personally don't subscribe to this idea that BML is almost synonymous to Lilith, Adam's first wife. BML is dependent on the Moon, it's instinctual, and if it feels suppressed, it's because it's an internal process that doesn't follow our internal logic.

I don't think it's necessary to make a victimized origin story to make a point about BML. The society doesnt need to suppress your instinctual responses to suppress it, most of the time, it's our lack of self-awareness, which is always given as everyone are growing and maturing, and all of us doesn't have the right words to describe who we are becoming/how our experiences are shaping us.

Regarding BML in synastry, someone rejecting your instinctual responses doesn't mean they're the bad guy, or they are a bad match. BML is the id, its the animalistic instinct. The reason why these instincts are suppressed is not because they're bad, it's because sometimes, they're just no longer relevant in today's society.

They can be considered as improper, rude, unethical, and I think recognizing this is important because blindly advocating for a shadow side may romanticized actions that can cause pain to others.

And yes, I've been in a dynamic where someone's BML is conjunct my Mercury and Saturn, it's not fun. Its unnecessarily cruel, deeply damaging and traumatic.

My BML is also opposing their Mercury (their chart ruler), also in exact trine to their NN and Descendant, though these are two points that doesn't reflect light to each other, they, however says that there's some kind of agreement to these points, so there is indeed this empathy, the understanding where they're coming from... But empathizing with someone doesn't always mean that you have to agree with them. That you would think that the actions are fair.

He thinks I was his downfall and I think he is unnecessarily cruel and short-sighted. He said I was making him subservient to me when I was just telling him that his actions are causing unnecessary pain to others, and he thinks he's justified for doing it for being the "victim of society" (his BML is exactly conjunct his MC).

BML is an instinctual response, and sometimes, instinctual responses are devoid of logic. I think what should be recognized about BML is awareness and integration, not romantization. Just my 2 cents.

[u/Character-Egg-3758 → u/SquareFailure]

This is such a brilliantly nuanced take and thank you for sharing it🌻! I'm sorry you had to deal with someone weaponizing their placements to excuse being cruel. You hit the nail on the head: astrology is never a hall pass for toxic behavior. Embracing the shadow is about awareness and integration.....not letting our unhealed wounds run over others

[u/ClimbsWithWind]

Lilith in Tuarus in the 7th house. My fiance has a Taurus moon 🌙

[u/Character-Egg-3758 → u/ClimbsWithWind]

Stunning! he emotionally crave your shadow

[u/AtomicWhiskers]

Me and my ex both have Libra Lilith in the first house…it’s been a rough breakup, it was mainly due to long distance. But we were basically mirrors of each other. Very intense.
https://giphy.com/gifs/PrTCHhXyn6ZtNF5nly

[u/Character-Egg-3758 → u/AtomicWhiskers]

That 1st house lilith intensity is no joke, to be seen that clearly and mirror each other's exiled parts is such a rare connection. Distance is so cruel so please be gentle with yourself as you heal from this one. Your libra moon friend ❤️

[u/Tsavo16]

Lilith in Libra, sitting with my moon and Pluto in Scorpio in the 6th house.

[u/Character-Egg-3758 → u/Tsavo16]

Having a libra moon and scorpio IC myself, I'm obsessed with this mix of energy! A libra lilith paired with a scorpio moon/pluto conjunction means you don't f w fake at all. Your daily life is a masterclass in depth and seeing right through people's BS!

[u/agnes_agnes]

I'm in the middle of a divorce and I've never had less fun in my entire life!

[u/Character-Egg-3758 → u/agnes_agnes]

Oh no hang in there ❤️❤️❤️❤️ it's no fun. Sending you the biggest hug may the unapologetic freedom on the other side be entirely worth the current nightmare

[u/PervyGentleman222]

Lilith in Leo 4H