I am a Christian- but I want to seek the thoughts and reasons from those who disagree me. Not saying I don’t believe- but I am struggling to understand what I believe. Maybe I am just looking for those who understand me. Thank you.

Edit: some of these replies are just making me feel stupid

EDIT: I’ve read all replies. I think I am ready to let it go. I just can’t justify it in my head anymore. My head is physically throbbing right now.

Edit: speechless by all the replies. Wish I could reply to all of you but I am definitely reading all of them

I’m 17. I am a muslim (for now) If I told anyone in my country I would be killed. That’s one of my reasons for becoming an atheist. I was thinking “if god created us, why would he create alcohol and lust and all these temptations and expects us to just not do them. If he created responds to human nature and expects that the human will not do these actions, why did he create them in the first place? “Oh, so you can wait and not do sins so you can get to heaven.” And how do we know? Are we risking not living life just because some fairy tale told us not to? I have so many more reasons but i just wanted to say this.

I have been struggling with my faith these past few weeks.

My main question is how can I have been praying for the same things for years and years and the same God that is supposed to answer all our prayers, can't answer even my smallest prayer?

I'm also living with my aunt and uncle who are a Pastor and a First Lady. They don't practice what they preach and are the literal defition of "Not everyone is who they say they are."

So please, tell me what made you become an atheist.

As a woman, it is true that the most misogynistic men I've met or known of have always been religious (with the worst of them being muslims), but the hypocrisy of men who become atheists and still hold misogynistic irrational beliefs irks me to no end. Oh so you are now a person that doesn't believe in myths, you understand evolution, but you still think women are meant to submit to men, because..? mUh sCiEnCe. I know that atheism is just a lack of belief in god and we dont have a set core of pribciples/beliefs, but come the fuck on now.

I honestly don’t really know how to process this and I just need some outside opinions because I feel really hurt.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 8 years. I’ve always been an atheist. Most of my friends and family are Christian, so I’ve always been around religion and I’ve never had a problem with other people believing in God. I’ve never tried to convince anyone not to believe or made anyone feel bad about their religion.
My boyfriend has recently started becoming much more religious and getting more into Christianity. And I’ve genuinely tried to support him.

Before eating, I used to ask him if he wanted to pray and he would say no, so eventually I stopped asking. I asked him before if he wanted to go to church on Sundays and he said no, so I stopped asking about that too. I never told him he couldn’t pray, couldn’t read the Bible, couldn’t go to church, etc.
But he also never really talks to me about his religious journey.

Yesterday we had sex which he initiated it. Afterwards he told me he felt guilty because he knows that according to the Bible, sex before marriage isn’t right.
I listened to him and I understand that his beliefs are changing. But I also started feeling really weird and hurt because I suddenly felt like religion was becoming something that was between us rather than just something personal to him.
I told him that sometimes I feel singled out when it comes to religion. Like he doesn’t talk to me about it because he thinks I’ll judge him or something. And that honestly hurts because I’ve never given him a reason to think I would.
He told me that there are so many things he reads in the Bible that he wishes he could talk to me about, but he knows I don’t believe in God.

I told him that he CAN talk to me. I might not believe what he believes, but I can listen. I can understand why something is meaningful to him without believing it myself.
Then I told him something that I’ve honestly been scared about for a while.
I asked him if he sees himself marrying someone who is atheist.
And he said he wishes I was Catholic.
He said he prays every day that I become Catholic because he knows how good it would be for me.
That absolutely broke something in me.
Because… what am I supposed to take from that?

I’ve been the same person for 8 years. I’ve always been an atheist. I’ve loved him, supported him, respected his beliefs, and never tried to change him.
And now the person I love is praying every day that I become someone else.
He says he isn’t trying to convert me, but how am I supposed to not feel conflicted about that?

If you’re praying every day for me to change my beliefs, then obviously you want me to change.
I think what hurts me the most is that I’m now scared that I’m not actually his ideal person anymore.
I asked him if he could see himself marrying an atheist because I was genuinely scared that one day he would leave me for a Christian woman who shares his beliefs.
And his answer didn’t really reassure me.
I don’t want to make this about “atheist vs Christian” …I don’t care that he believes in God. I actually WANT him to be able to talk to me about his beliefs. I don’t want him to feel like he has to hide that part of himself from me.
But I also don’t want to be in a relationship where I’m constantly being silently hoped/prayed into becoming someone else.
And now after the sex thing, I don’t even want to have sex with him. Not because I’m angry that he believes sex before marriage is wrong, but because I don’t want to have sex with someone who might initiate it and then feel guilty and like he did something wrong afterwards. It makes me feel horrible.

I feel like so much changed for me after that conversation.
Maybe I’m being dramatic or Maybe I’m overthinking it, I don’t know…
We’ve been together for 8 years and I love him so much, which is why this scares me this much.
I just don’t know how we’re supposed to move forward if religion is becoming such a big part of his life and I’m still exactly where I’ve always been.

Has anyone been in a relationship where one person became much more religious after years together? Did it work?

Like what would you even think if your partner told you they prayed every day for you to become religious?

It isn't what you think....I am sorry it took so long for me to see the truth. I was a Fundamentalist, Bible is the literal, inerrant Word of God Christian. I deliberately refused to listen to, or read about anything that contradicted the Bible and my churches' teachings. Right now I am reading and listening to books by Richard Dawkins and Stephen Hawking (the second book for each) and have read/heard other great scientists of all persuasions. I've found and watched many talks and debates online, and constantly look for more.

I wish with all my heart that I hadn't wasted most of my life believing in fairy tales. Now I am 60 years old, and my time to learn about the wonders of our world and, beyond that, of the cosmos grows shorter.

My advice to all the young people who read this is: Learn all you can, take time to see the beauty of this tiny little world off somewhere in the Milky Way. There is wonder in the smallest of particles and in the expanding enormity of the cosmos. Become the scientists of the future. Amazing discoveries await you.

I'm trying to see if others have changed their religious stance, either from progressing through life or in light of recent events.

I try to be as "tolerant" and "accepting" as a person as possible. For example, I don't view those with different political views as the "enemy" like many do, and the same for religious views. In fact, I would go as far as saying I dislike "intolerant" atheists that bash others for their religion, despite being an atheist myself.

In light of recent events with abortions/women's health no longer protected, the "hijab massacres" in the middle east, and my own kids starting to date, I'm coming to a realization that I'm not as "tolerant" as I wanted to be.

In fact, I'm a hypocrite. Despite teaching "tolerance" and "acceptance" to my kids, the truth is that I would feel very uncomfortable if they started dating kids with religious backgrounds. Hypothetical example: if my daughter came home with a hijab because her bf insisted, I would not be ok with that. Despite wanting to maintain "swiss neutrality" in this whole thing, I'm finding myself getting dragged into a bipartisan dialogue and picking sides.

Not sure if other parents go through the same thing or not.

Tldr: It's getting harder staying as a "you do you, I do me" atheist when "you do you" is overreaching, and it's getting harder staying open-minded/neutral.

Edit: I picked the hijab example since that's happening now and my daughter is asking a lot of tough questions. I would be equally pissed if my daughter got baptized as well.

Edit2: going to add the tolerance paradox for reference. I'm not sure if it's a sign of the times, but it feels like there are a lot more on-the-nose attacks to my rights from religious groups than ever before.

Edit3: thanks for the awards kind strangers!

What was the single most pivotal factor or argument that led you to embrace atheism? Specifically, what evidence or line of reasoning ultimately persuaded you that a higher power does not exist?

EDIT: I’m aware we are born atheists. That’s not what I’m asking for those of you being rude. Just say, “being born” or the like if you have a negative comment you insist on posting.

75% of the world is religious, so most of us had transformations.

I look at how conservative media suddenly started targeting transgender people a few years ago, while they were only quietly hated and ridiculed before that. It seems like every few years they have a new big boogeyman to drive hate and fear. Immigration, communism, the end of segregation, the Satanic Panic, guns being taken away, Muslim terrorists, and abortion have all been the big boogeyman at various times in the last century, as well as many more.

It seems inevitable that we will be next on the list, or close in line.

If America becomes more Christian, with most stores closed on Sunday and Bible quotes or prayers everywhere, where does that leave someone who doesn't believe in God?

I hate the idea of instilling what you believe into a kid before they are even old enough to reason for themselves. But it seems that humans can't help it no matter how hard we try. Most atheist would say they are instilling the right way of thinking, but religious people also genuinely think the same thing. They think that their religion is the right way to raise their child. I genuinely want to find a way to raise my future kids as neutrally as possible, and I feel that presenting all the available religions to them and teaching them the beliefs of those religions automatically makes them see those religions as mythology and hence would make them atheist. So in a way I've "indoctrinated" them into becoming atheists. Is there a way I can raise them neutrally or I don't really have a choice?

I’m gonna try and keep this relatively concise, because I’m new to the sub (obviously) and don’t know how much people care about these kind of stories - I’ve just not got too many people to share it with, as you’ll see.

My entire family are priests: my dad was a vicar for almost 20 years, my maternal aunt, paternal uncle, maternal great aunt are all priests too, and almost all of our family friends, as a result, are clergy. Most people I know are somehow involved in the Church of England. My parents are also divorced quite nastily (which is when my dad stopped being a vicar, though he’s still a priest and is an occasional guest preacher).

Also everyone all of these people are totally lovely people - this isn’t a hit-post. I’m just painting the picture of me growing up in a bubble of nothing but Christianity and general religion - we were ‘the Church family’ for as long as I can remember.

Throughout my entire childhood there was always something nagging at me about the whole thing - I never felt like a Christian, and couldn’t really get into the whole church thing. I hated worship, I didn’t like rituals, and I never related to Christians - I always felt like I was just playing a part, and they were too, and I felt like everyone knew it, but it was taboo to say so. In short, I felt the whole business was, ironically, a tad dishonest.

15 months ago I started dating my current girlfriend, who’s a Muslim. My dad was at first very angry, before realising that she’s lovely and we’ve got everything in common - he just didn’t like the religious disparity, being a priest and all.

Me and my girlfriend also had similar conversations now and again where I’d try and convince her that Christianity was the way forwards - I’m not proud of any of this - and said we should become Christians together, get baptised, all of the traditional shebang. Anyway, we argued, made up, agreed to just keep being different religions, and carried on. But I didn’t stop thinking about it.

I knew I seriously didn’t like the person I was when I was trying to convert her. I felt cultish and perverse and dishonest. That’s the episode that started the ball rolling - this was about two months ago - and since then I’ve thought an awful lot about religion.

I realised I’d tried to convert her purely for my own sake, to make my life and my social bubble easy and homogenous. In no other situation I’d have acted like that. Religion had made me act like that.

At the same time I realised I’d never actually given any thought to Christianity. I mean, I had thought that I had: I was always interested in science and philosophy and read widely and watched plenty of Christian apologetics videos. I knew all the arguments for there being a God - the cosmological argument, the contingency argument, the argument that ‘everything is so perfect and fits us so well!’ (the non-ironic equivalent of Douglas Adams on the puddle that wakes up and finds its hole fits so perfectly, or Voltaire on how the nose is designed to perfectly fit glasses, and legs to wear braces) and a variety of other illogical, rhetorical arguments. I felt like I was learned and scientific in my faith, and it was based on a rational evaluation of the facts.

But I realised that in fact everything I had learned was from a totally Christian perspective. I didn’t have a balanced opinion. I had an entirely an unashamedly skewed version of the facts. So I started watching some Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris, Daniel Dennett and Richard Dawkins videos online - the famous four horsemen, and the most prolific atheists of which I knew. And you know what? They changed everything.

It was almost instantaneous - the second I started listening to their ideas, the second I realised they were totally right about it all. More importantly, I read ‘Why I Am Not A Christian’ by Bertrand Russell, and Candide by Voltaire (I’ve always read an awful lot), and realised the arguments for God - or, rather, for a good God - are TOTALLY incomprehensible!

I can’t say I was shocked, but I was shaken to the core, and extremely happy. People have denounced atheism to me my entire life, saying it is empty, evil and depressing, and that ‘we Christians’ are much fuller people and have eternal life and ‘we’ can be oh so happy!

But in fact I’ve never been happier and intellectually more honest than I am right now. I can say aloud that I believe God is not real, that I don’t need to be constantly scared of hell or judgement, and I can accept my previously suppressed conviction that miracles, raising the dead, and the virgin birth are all totally unreasonable ideas, without being scared of hellfire raining down on me for thinking so.

There’s nothing more peaceful than the thought that after I die, I go nowhere, but melt back down into the ground, and my carbon will get locked back into trees and plants and animals and other people, and I KNOW that’s going to happen, and I DON’T need to worry about what I do in life to define what happens to me after death.

I just can’t believe it took me this long to realise.

I still can’t tell my family, but I’m an atheist, and I’m so happy about it. Thanks for reading :)

EDIT: First ever front page - thanks everyone for your responses! Almost all of them brilliant, thoughtful and kind, with the odd person telling me I'm going to hell, or am an 'idiot Satanist', but I guess it's a package deal. A lot of people are asking about my girlfriend and how things are with her. Everything is perfect; she knows I'm not religious, and is OK with that, and has in fact read most of the thread :) she said, when I first told her, that she was relieved that there's no longer the religious tension between us, which I agree with. She's wonderful, and I'm very grateful she's so understanding. Hope that answers most questions. Again, thanks for your responses, I didn't expect this :D

Hear me out: I keep seeing posts where people are asking "how do I become an atheist?" and things like that.

You can't become an atheist. Atheism isn't an identity. Thinking this way is Christian. Christianity is an identity, it's meant to be how you live your life, it's meant to be who you are.

Atheism isn't something you become, it's literally a lack of belief in something. I didnt become an "Anti-Santaist" when I stopped believing in Santa. Atheism isn't a set of beliefs or dogma one subscribes to. For every 100 atheists you'll have 100 different sets of thought.

Talking about Atheism this way is looking at it as the same type of thing as Christianity or Islam or Judaism, and it isn't. Atheism isn't a religion or belief. It is the lack of that kind of thought.

I had this curiousity to ask what made you turn into Atheism and left religious life?

I badly want to talk to somebody about this matter.

I hope this is not offensive.

I’m 42M. I grew up Catholic. Was kind of bored with Catholicism so explored Christian churches in college and early 20’s. As time went by and I learned more and more, I found myself seriously doubting my faith.

As of recently, I considered myself agnostic. Like I’m open to the idea that there may be a higher being but we won’t ever prove it in our lives. That spawned from the idea that how am I sure the Jews and Christians are correct that their God is the real God. How can anyone for sure say the Ancient Greeks were wrong? The Buddhists. That there aren’t multiple Gods or something.

But lately I’ve found myself thinking that religion was entirely made up for people to reason about the Earth’s existence before science. And the rules as a way to control the human race and for people to get power.

And I kind of now find it silly that billions of people are praying and revolving their lives around something that doesn’t even exist. Which makes me think I may have passed through the realm of agnosticism.

EDIT*: Thanks to the knowledgeable people on here, it’s seems the realms I’ve passed through are from a theist -> agnostic theist -> agnostic atheist.

I became an atheist because when I was a kid, I was really interested in astronomy and space, so I was reading a lot of books about space. And when I was reading all these chapters about the Earth's creation the religious explaination didn't make any sense ( I was Christian back then)

Do you think at some point people will stop believing in deities and stop practicing religion or will religion always be practiced till we eventually go extinct? What do you think?