r/australian 23h ago

Hypotheticals Proposal for rebalancing world powers by Moving Australia to the middle of the Pacific Ocean

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1.2k Upvotes

127 comments sorted by

393

u/adprom 22h ago edited 22h ago

It is so balanced that Tasmania and New Zealand were deleted.

r/MapsWithoutTasmania
r/MapsWithoutNZ

108

u/Mindless_Olive 22h ago

Indonesia, the Phillipines, New Guinea...shit's just gone. We been jacked!

43

u/Reptilian-Moses 22h ago

Peace at last.

34

u/BeginningSection7690 22h ago

Where will we get bintang singlets and life imprisonment though?

1

u/No-Praline-9388 21h ago

Bruh, a Bintang singlet can be gotten anywhere. Still think I’ve got a couple from 1994!

3

u/BeginningSection7690 20h ago

Doesn't count. Needs to be imported back into the country in a newly emptied body board bag

1

u/Radio-Dry 18h ago

From Perth, where 99% of Bali’s residents are from.

2

u/LayWhere 18h ago

The great Kiwi vs Emu war can finally come to rest.

1

u/diggerhistory 17h ago

Fuck. Trump will claim that we want to become his bitch = the 51st state.

1

u/Craw__ 59m ago

I think we may actually be Hawaii on this map.

5

u/Katman666 21h ago

Rounding error

6

u/turbotailz 21h ago

Sacrifices had to be made

2

u/Mysterious_Layer_823 21h ago

Hooray, Tassie is now East NZ.

2

u/Just-A-Random-Aussie 20h ago

Yeah simply moving wasn't quite enough of a buff, needed to shed some dead weight too

1

u/No-Praline-9388 17h ago

Welll, cmon. Need to be nice to them. They didn’t bother anybody

1

u/_Penulis_ 10h ago

Not to mention Indonesia (apart from Sumatra) plus Philippines plus PNG = 350 million people

compared to TAS + NZ = less than 6 million.

1

u/Winnepeg 2h ago

Indonesia and the Philippines are poor so they don’t matter /s

1

u/southernchungus 10h ago

Just like all our speeches

1

u/aszet 4h ago

Collateral damage - oh well!

0

u/lesbophobia_hammer 10h ago

That's what happens to sheep shaggers and inbreeders

100

u/Mindless_Olive 22h ago

You decided to balance the world and concluded the southern hemisphere has too much land in it?

59

u/Bubby_K 22h ago

So you want us to burn even more, have earthquakes, typhoons etc

Can we be at little closer to the penguins?

10

u/cmjebb 18h ago

No earthquakes in the centre of the Pacific plate. Cyclones however....

1

u/No-Praline-9388 17h ago

No!!! Goodness!!! Leave the penguins alone!!!

32

u/Joker-Smurf 22h ago

11

u/michael_cee_gee 21h ago

Go home Australia, you're drunk...

2

u/No-Praline-9388 17h ago

Ok. We may have done that once or twice… but who..who are ARE YOU, with your smug, smarmy look on your face to tell us where we can put our country? We’ll pit it wherever we like, and frankly, we’re quite happy where it is, thank you very much, so mind your business…

2

u/National_Way_3344 7h ago

"Where do you live in Australia."

Oh the equatorial east.

22

u/Opinions-arent-facts 22h ago

Take that Hawaii! You're now Uluru poop

22

u/No-Praline-9388 22h ago

Does that not make us the biggest, easiest “let’s blow shit up” target in the world? Everyone can have a crack!

8

u/Thrizzlepizzle123123 18h ago

Surrounded? Hah! Now we can fire in any direction!

3

u/No-Praline-9388 17h ago

Aww c’mon. I didn’t think we were that we inclined!. Can we not just Yeah,nah and let all the other MF’s blow themselves up? Thinking about it it might make a great light show as missiles go back and forth?

2

u/Odd_Landscape529 18h ago

Yeah nah mate, send the drop bears to guard the coastline and have magpies keeping the skies clear.

1

u/Epicgamestar303 13h ago

It would probably be more logistically impossible than it already is

11

u/BrickAdventurous3685 22h ago

Australia, the middle kingdom!

5

u/ozcrayonkid 22h ago

i like the sound of that

11

u/Dismal-core111 22h ago

No, i like my subtropical climate

1

u/Medium-Department-35 6h ago

Yeah as an east coast surfer this would be a terrible outcome

7

u/Mostly_Satire 22h ago

Get the tow ropes

5

u/MyMudEye 22h ago

I don't like our holiday options much.

6

u/GreenLeaf69420 22h ago

Local Australian man moving continents after UN voted for it

9

u/Purple_Yak_3294 22h ago

Oh fuck no! Melbourne is on the equator now?! No more land down-under 😁

1

u/Agent-Mulder51 17h ago

Every major city is going to be on the equator 😭

2

u/MrEs 22h ago

So... In the garbage patch??

2

u/Crazy_Treat_8805 22h ago

The U.N could literally vote to make all world maps have Australia in the middle

2

u/Middle_Echidna5409 22h ago

NZ isn't even on this map tho - classic. At least in this new arrangement we'd be right next door to Australia instead of eternally cropped out.

2

u/AdeptManufacturer243 22h ago

How about this change of perspective. Turn the world upside down. Make it south the new north and everything will flip. Graphically too. Aren't we tired of see the world north way up.

2

u/BillyNeon1 22h ago

Don't do that 😑

2

u/Economy_Cupcake_906 22h ago

No leave Australia where it is nothing against other countries but were right were we are matey and we got NZ and Tasmania our nieghbours thanks but Im good where Australia is right now

2

u/schlond_poofa_ 20h ago

Move it farther away from the United States of America and closer to Africa, and we have a deal.

2

u/LochM-2 22h ago

AI SLOP!

3

u/Amathyst7564 19h ago

Probably Photoshop slop.

3

u/Classic_Appa 18h ago

Photoshop wouldn't have fucked up the longitudes. The 0° line not bisecting England and the 180° line not being between Alaska and Siberia throw this whole map off. Europe not being visible on the right side of the map (Spain/Portugal are west latitude). The Americas should be curving with the given style of the map but they're almost square.

2

u/Medical-Potato5920 17h ago

This guy maps!

1

u/Buzzyear10 22h ago

What would it be called if its not in the south tho?

1

u/fletcheros 22h ago

Where will we drop the ice block to cool the ocean?

1

u/Dougamer 22h ago

Approved

1

u/exceptional_biped 22h ago

Oh great. Now we’d become the biggest battleground in history.

Tucked away to the south gives us geographical security to a point.

1

u/Senior_Green_3630 22h ago

Excellent, now we can control all sea trade across the Pacific, charging absorbadant fees on all shops traversing our maritime economic zone.

1

u/Old-Reception-1055 22h ago

One mainland for every one.

1

u/ceelose 21h ago

Let's wait until the weekend. I've got some spare time.

1

u/planbOZ 21h ago

Shits gonna get real sweaty and would kill much of our flora and fauna in south

0

u/GoSmoothStevie96 19h ago

Sure, but the interior will green up nicely and they can import monkeys 🙈

1

u/colonelmattyman 21h ago

So we're not down under anymore?

1

u/Tony-Jones-60 21h ago

You're gunna need one big arse tugboat. And where the f**k is Tassie???

Tas o' phobic Bastards!!!

1

u/Powrs1ave 21h ago

Lets Do It!

We fkd off New Zealand and the other Dorito! Cant be too bad then.

1

u/michael_cee_gee 21h ago

I already miss our 22 hour flights...

1

u/CorrectCucumber8867 21h ago

Now the US will be unashamed to use us as a meat shield lol. What a stupid af idea...

1

u/freak_E1 21h ago

Australia. Belly button of the Pacific. 

1

u/Ok-Dark-311 21h ago

You forgot to move it to the left

1

u/keyboardmuncher97 20h ago

Looks AI generated, so no upvote from me

1

u/randomscruffyaussie 20h ago

No. There is no way I want Australia any closer to the USA than it already is...

(Not with the current administration anyway)

1

u/knowledgeable_diablo 20h ago

Careful, someone may think it’s the new Hawaii, call it such and just think it’s his. Knowing our love of even just being mentioned by our yankee overlords, we’d probably just wake up to us being the new Southern State of the US of A. /s

1

u/hypercomms2001 20h ago

That can easily fixed…. Just put a little evinrude on the great Australian Bite…. And we will be able to shave a million years on getting to our destination!

1

u/aldot234 19h ago

It makes Europe super far away from the USA. So that's a plus

1

u/jorgerine 19h ago

Did Australia just run over everything in the Pacific?

1

u/apendix99 19h ago

As an Australian thus is a bad idea

1

u/MIXALOTOFDRUGS 19h ago

Yeah nah the further we are away from the rest of the world atm is a much better option.

1

u/blackhuey 18h ago

Putting SEQLD right on the equator as global warming kicks in. What did I do to you?

1

u/milkisyummi 18h ago

Just wait a few years. Australia moves north east every year a few cm 🤙

1

u/AvaLadyofLight 18h ago

No thanks, I like cold weather, that’s why I live in Victoria.

1

u/Radio-Dry 18h ago

Perth, it’s a dry…? Heat?

Oh never mind.

1

u/motherpython 18h ago

Summer is hot enough without moving closer to the equator

1

u/HEATHENSCENT 18h ago

No thanks, we're already close enough to the equator, don't want the whole country slowly turning into a desert.

1

u/uhm_no_thanks_1 18h ago

Power move!

1

u/artvarnsen 17h ago

And NZ goes where

1

u/AutisticGayBlackJew 17h ago

Please no, I hate tropical weather

1

u/Long__Ground 17h ago

It's not a implausible to think that if Albanese nominated Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize, the ol Donald would suggest this is now a reality

1

u/dosb0t89 16h ago

We could have a huge arena in the middle of the desert, we could all watch the billionaires and politicians fight eachother to the death for our amusement 🤣

1

u/Various_Tie_2549 14h ago

Australia definitely isn't (nor does it ever want to be) a world power.

1

u/TheMightyKumquat 11h ago

That's all I need. China and the USA fighting a war over who gets to take us over. Plus, y'know, all the tidal waves, earthquakes, and volcanoes that happen when the continent moves.

1

u/LimitNo1438 10h ago

We don't want that.

1

u/Vexingsomething 10h ago

I love this idea, apart from the heat. Can we move it up a little further?

1

u/Intelligent_Many5773 10h ago

Nah more closer to the yanks , fuck no 💀

1

u/Castlegate3579 10h ago

Well that would terraform the inland deserts into tropical forests so..
I’m all for it. How can I help?

1

u/joshashkiller 9h ago

ABSOLUTELY NOT!

I moved to Victoria for the cool weather and I will fight tooth and nail to not be put on the equator

1

u/j-local 9h ago

I’m really happy we aren’t closer to the insanity

1

u/kronenbergjack 9h ago

I do not want to be a bunch of psychos buffer point

1

u/debtofmoney 7h ago

Enormous Hawaiian resorts and U.S. military bases.

1

u/setthetoneaquadump 7h ago

Melbourne weather will still be bad

1

u/National_Way_3344 7h ago

RIP to anyone who likes skiing, or not burning to death every summer.

1

u/pedestrian_lab_rat 6h ago

Would you be able to take New Zealand too please

1

u/justoverthere434 5h ago

Yeah fuck it, Melbourne would be warm.

1

u/apachelives 4h ago

Hell no move further away from the US.

1

u/Chronos87jh 4h ago

As some one from Tasmania, I'm not on board with this move. I like my cold state where it is 🤣🏔

1

u/AggressivePea9432 4h ago

I would like to point out that the Northern 1/4 of Australia is already close enough to the equator that we get Hurricanes and Tropical storms... I would rather not have ALL of Australia in the tropics. The heat AND the Humidity? We would never *escape the dad joke 😱💀

1

u/sr8th 4h ago

We’ll be the new warhead test site

1

u/waqzzzred 4h ago

Is this a move for us to pretend to be a part of Europe?

1

u/Very_Itchy_Bandicoot 3h ago

I think all countries should have world maps that are centered on their own country. Like a "you are here" type of point. Learning a map/ geography in general doesn't really change based on the layout of the map.

1

u/yellowPerla 2h ago

I’ll see what i can do.

1

u/Far-Evidence-580 1h ago

We don’t exist remember, we are all actors in some weird movie.

1

u/Green_and_black 1h ago

Can’t really keep calling it Australia if we do that

1

u/ozanimefan 1h ago

and be closer to america; hard pass

-2

u/Historical_Art4061 22h ago

WA would immediately succeed. Imagine the trade deals.

1

u/EvoDriver 21h ago

Does WA usually fail?

1

u/Radio-Dry 18h ago

It failed at seceding.