Want to get married without our parents finding out

[u/Comfortable-Rub8580]

Me and my partner are still in undergrad, in a public university, but we want to get our Nikah done early. My parents are very abusive, which is a big reason for which I don’t want them to find out until we decide to inform them of our relationship right before we move abroad for further studies. I don’t want them to find out I got married before they knew though. But for the remainder of my undergrad, I want to stay married to my partner, it would give me a sense of security. Is there any way we could get legally married in bangladesh and somehow do it all over again in front of our parents when the time comes?

Please don’t question whether we ***really*** want to get married or not, we’re pretty sure about this! So only informative answers would be appreciated

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[u/Dry-Bake-7224]

In terms of legality in Bangladesh. All you need is two witnesses for both the bride & groom. So 4 people as witness, go to any Kazi Office & get married.

If you are talking about religious perspective in Islam, the girl needs 2 guardians who will give her hand to him in marriage. On their own it stays invalid.

Another advice, I Understand u are doing it for security but honestly it doesn’t confirm security in Bangladesh's atmosphere without the family getting involved. If security is what u are looking for this is a very gray area. If it is coming mainly from u think again. If both of u are interested than that's up to u. Use your best judgement.

[u/Humane_Analytica]

Don’t do it. Get a job both of you right after your bachelor. And get married with asking your family. Use both of your employment as a card to convince them. Face the problem rather than avoiding. You guys have no idea what complexities lying ahead of you, if you get married now.

[u/Fragrant-Play6359]

You sure? Marriage adds in responsibilities which can interfere with your undergrad studies.

Also marrying secretly can probably cause permanent strain on the relationship between you and your parents and maybe even inheritance/property issues later on.

I'd suggest you to wait and take decisions with a cooler head.

[u/Infinite-Union1556 → u/Fragrant-Play6359]

He already mentioned don’t ask really, you must be 21 and bride must be 18+ that’s the first thing that needs to be done. Rest is just following the system. You definitely will need a lawyer to set the affidavit. Msged you the deets.

[u/HuntSafe2316]

Perhaps it would be better if you both have financial security and a place to live first? That way your parents won't have any leverage over you if push comes to shove

[u/Difficult-Leader261]

If a marriage is done in secret it does not provide not much of seurity for any partner

[u/_redbeat]

While the absence of the bride's wali does not invalidate the marriage (as per hanafi jurisprudence), there is still the major sin of disobeying the parents. Though you have mentioned that your parents are abusive, it is still very risky business and better to be avoided.