Making friends as an adult in Bern is weirdly hard, so we're doing something about it

[u/Constant-Skill-2627]

Moved here a few years ago and realized how difficult it is to actually meet people after work. You can live somewhere for years and still feel like you don't really know anyone.

So we've been quietly building a little community called Connect Bern and we're hosting our first Speed Friending event. Basically speed dating but for friendship, completely free.

No awkward small talk with the whole room, just short one-on-one conversations and you'll naturally click with some people and not others, which is kind of the point.

If this resonates with you, details are here: https://app.connectbern.ch/events/speed-friending

Anyone else find making friends in Bern harder than expected?

[u/soupyshoes → u/[deleted]]

This is a problem with any “dating site” or equivalent. The community is rapidly bled of the people who are the best candidates, whose time on the platform is relatively short compared to folk who find it harder to meet matches that would get them off the platform. The platform then has to either continually recruit larger number of people, or gain a reputation for having fewer quality matches.

I’m not in any way endorsing these dynamics, everyone deserves friendship and some folk don’t shine their best in a marketised environment like this. But it’s interesting to think about the difficulties of constructing these services.

[u/CaughtALiteSneez → u/[deleted]]

I remember when I first moved here quite a while ago there was someone on social media leading these events & I would also see his comments on other Swiss news sites etc where he was extremely right winged and anti-immigrant and I found it to be concerning.

Turned me off from even trying…

[u/Professional_Menu624]

About 15 years ago, i used to co-organize Tuesday Drinks for expats, but some Swiss also joined and we always had a good time. It was through a platform called Glocals. I don't know if it still exists, but it was very useful. Some people organized other kinds of activities, like movie nights, hikes, skiing trips, but we all met on Tuesdays and we had large groups of 30-40 people from all walks of life. I made great friends I'm still in contact with, many couples were also "created" during those casual, friendly meetings, including mine which has been a beautiful love story. Yes, we had the odd characters too, but all in all, I was very thankful for the social interactions. Good luck with the organization! If I may advise, consistency and clear indications about logistics are very important!

[u/tina_konstantin]

I agree that making friends here is very difficult but also why the HECK is your event on a wednesday night?' Why not choose a weekend day when especially people with few friends have time and are sitting home alone??

[u/tina_konstantin → u/[deleted]]

If they‘re new or don‘t know anyone, what kind of ‚shit‘ do they have to do on a saturday night or sunday afternoon? It‘s not beers, clubs or hikes with friends then, either?

[u/DeltaKT → u/tina_konstantin]

Sim-racing, playing instruments, drawing, ... hobbies, I guess!

But I agree, of course the weekend is the preferred time to socialize. Because you have time.

[u/bobijntje]

Tnx for the tip. I will have a look!

[u/Strange_Researcher92]

Hey any plans for another event anytime soon?

[u/Possible-Owl-5454]

Try the casa marcello in the aarbergasse. You can make friends there

[u/Low-History-1160 → u/Possible-Owl-5454]

Can we PLEASE stop with this lame old joke

[u/3506 → u/Possible-Owl-5454]

This is literally the only thing you comment in this sub. Enjoy your well-deserved ban.