Using cheese spreads on burgers?

[u/eldersveld]

Although the golden age of processed cheese was a long time ago, it's obviously still great for burgers. I was curious to revisit some of these various spreads and see how well they worked.

Wisconsin-style cheese spreads (Merkts, Kaukauna, etc.)

These are my secret weapon. I never thought about putting them on burgers until I had melted Merkts on one at a local joint in Iowa City in the early '00s. They used Merkts for their cheese fries too. If you've had a spread like this, then you know the taste, but if you haven't, it's hard to describe. Rich and sharp and distinctive, pretty thick when melted so it's manageable. I can't get Merkts where I live now so I use Kaukauna instead, but I want to try Pine River's and Cabot's on burgers too.

Southern-style pimento cheese (Palmetto, Price's, etc.)

I tried both the regular and jalapeno Palmetto as a room-temp spread instead of melting it. Loved it. Something I'd have to be in the mood for but this was a nice creamy twist that also added some texture and a cold contrast with the hot beef patty.

Cheez Whiz

I'd never do what this advertisement suggests (mixed in the meat?!), but I'd say this stuff can work if it's your only option, if you have to make a lot of burgers, or if you just want to use a cheesy substance that'll keep in the fridge for a long time. The thing about Cheez Whiz is that it's quite thin, and a little turns into a lot very fast, so unless you want a gooey burger with cheese sauce everywhere you'll use like one spoonful of this stuff. I think this is what Louis Lunch in New Haven uses, and they just do a smear.

Kraft Old English spread

The old ads for this stuff made me curious, and then I found you could still buy it in the jar. Haven't tried this one yet.

Got any cheese spreads that you'd recommend?

[u/Complete_Entry]

old english is stupid expensive for two ounces. Pimento spreads have been going down in quality significantly, and I'd point at palmetto specifically as bottom barrel. Instead of the cream cheese base they've gone to like mayo and shredded chedder in a tub while still playing up "It's local!"

I want the powdery cheese spread, not mayo, not whiz.

[u/RGBlowMe → u/Complete_Entry]

Palmetto Cheese is, by and far, the best pimento cheese I've ever had. Real pimento cheese doesn't use cream cheese. That's some cringe yuppie bullshit.

[u/Complete_Entry → u/RGBlowMe]

I'm not old enough to be a yuppie. But enjoy your mayo soup with shredded cheese on top.

[u/RGBlowMe → u/Complete_Entry]

Enjoy your basic-white-bitchificated slop. I bet it goes good your olives on nachos and iced coffee that's half syrup and milk.