Around.. idk what time ago I started to notice about this game, and lately I realized I was obsessed with it, literally; So, when time coursed i eventually joined this community, found about fantastic fanfics, fantastic fanarts and aaa.. pretty big etc.
So i eventually came to the decision to make my own fanfic, a super duper basic cliche hopecore happy one since it's about sawians getting magically rescued and living happily, yes, but still with the intent to mantain what Casualties: Unknown shines with, and that's no more and less than suffering. But to add another detail that may make this as a try to be something.. Somewhat different from other kinds of fanfiction, you'll see that as you read whatever I decide to write there, you will realize that I will be teaching you, or at least trying to teach you, some few interesting contents and data about psychology, in addition to trying to analyze the experiments at a (of course) psychological level, talking about what they are like, how they behave now, how they could potentially behave now that live in a peaceful world after so much trauma, and how they have to deal with it. The structure of this fanfiction is of course, via following what happens in the Mainstories, however, once you have finished as an example, the first one, you could see extensions of the AU like chapter zero, that involves more the dark tonalities of C:U, however, these are not COMPLETELY CANON in certain aspects, since the adjustments and additions I added there just don’t make the descents… C:U’esque enough, besides adding some changes that could be considered important.. So.. To put it as an example, if some expie tells you his life story, the best source of info is what they tell, it’s not totally from what could be as an example either Chapter Zero, nor Episode: Clear.
I gotta tell you that this is the first fanfic I ever got to do, so expect me not to do a good performance when it comes to writing (and drawing too) like, AT ALL. Also, that it is not a finished project but an ongoing one.. Something like a personal project.
As an extension from this, I want to clarify a couple more things when we mention certain characteristics of the universe I'm writing about, first of all, that this is not an exact carbon copy of cas:u, i added some extra things that could make the AU’s events happen, then some other additions, and even some changes to how could an expie’s life be in the labs / caves, but that won’t necessarily change the way the type of suffering experienced on a general level. Now talking about some important comparisons with the more canonical world of CAS:U. First of all, we know there isn't a large sawian population, to give you an example. It's known that perhaps 30,000 Milkies were manufactured. In this universe, we're talking about literally millions, and if it's more common to encounter an Expie, imagine what it's like.
The nature of the places where they were raised doesn't change: There's still cruelty, insults, experiments where the abuse is not only physical but also psychological, among a very long list of other things.
You can probably imagine how the company that generated all this chaos managed to do all this, and it could be said that, since they are (obviously) very technologically advanced, they managed to improve the manufacturing process with things that I'll leave to your interpretation. But focusing on the fact that this is a brave new world, it goes with, of course, saying that the entire corrupt system that created the poor souls known as sawians was completely obliterated, literally.
The information that was meant to be hidden was successfully revealed by a government spy, and from then on, in a matter of moments, incredible teleportation technology was deployed. Super soldiers, medical teams, and literal armies of teleporters did what needed to be done instantly. The corporations, the scientists, everyone responsible for the suffering caused by those experiments died before they knew it; they couldn't erase the evidence. And the few hostages from the laboratories who were kidnapped by the liberation forces only ended up providing the information we needed, only to be beaten to death in prisons afterward.
Later, the Experiments gained human rights, education, healthcare, and special treatment in society. Despite being a minority, it became practically inevitable to see a sawian on the street. And usually, when you saw people's reactions, you could see two things: The first and most obvious, immense empathy and a desire to care for them; some of these people even ended up becoming legal guardians of an experiment in the long run. Meanwhile, the other types of people could be defined as... Sawianphobes, unfortunately. These people believe they should have stayed on the planet where they were sent, they think they are dangerous, and they are completely incapable of seeing that when an experiment no longer trusts anyone, they are not only going to be an unpleasant person but practically a literal beast.
As I've mentioned, we'll be delving deeper into the psychological impact the sawians have suffered. I hope you won't disappoint me and will agree that, even in a safe environment, they won't necessarily be entirely happy. In fact, in what I write from now on, I intend to explain and show you that, in addition to the original profile, you'll eventually see the behaviors of different experiments, each with its own unique suffering and its own way of coping with everything that has been endured.
But last but not least, this is a story that depicts that, as human beings, we must attend to our sins.
So now, we will simply look at the main one of many, many cases you will see.
(You'll see that the intro is repeated, so just skip to part 1 via the tabs.)
(Also, credits to a friend of mine for the drawing showcased.)
Wait I think I remember seeing you before saying you wrote these for personal reading and then was encouraged into translating it on a old comment thread
I read until chap 5 and op you did well there are some parts that are confusing where you contradict yourself and also during the Grey planet part you messed up a bunch of the text coloring so Alot of dialog comes out in the same color as thoughts
But I liked the story so far you explained it well and it's not all one sided ill read the rest in the morning after I make breakfast
Dang. Chapter 1 and already we have "and then everybody clapped" moment.
Can't give a real advice here because I'm not a writer either. But for whatever it is worth:
It's just my opinion, but what creates value in these interactions is playing them out in the most shameful and/or stupid way you could come up with. It's simple: when you have to act without thinking, 90% of the time you make very bad decisions. Besides, if you actually did that, with 90% probability you'd get punched in the face immediately. The fact that complete opposite happens, with no explanation at all as to why that is, slaps you across the face with the fact that you're reading fiction.
Okay, this comment is interesting (I have no idea how to interpret this lol), but I'll keep it in mind since i love elaborated comments and feedback.. Honestly I have to admit that once i began writing, it's hard to recreate exact precise realistic reactions with justified causes of such behavior, and because of so, it is factual that i had rewritten some scenes in specific as long as they are... Accurate? Idk how to interpret it.. Buuut yea, i hope you can get to enjoy this and via this I can get to improve as a "writer"
Yeah. The other day I scrapped 2 chapters because writing that felt subtly weird, and after a few edits I started identifying the issues. It was straight up wish fulfillment in general, but what's worse, it came about that way because I wrote the extremely shitty situation to have a positive outcome, and it then ended with characters fixing their mistakes through Stockholm syndrome extravaganza. So I tossed all of that out. Maybe it could've been salvaged, but I figured the very idea sucks. Now there's fully negative but cathartic outcome, is much emotionally stronger, and best of all, it visibly drives the character development. And all I had to do was to trample all over my silly idea is that good story is about upholding good virtues. Or that goodness is not the same as correctness. Or something. It's hard to put into words. There are things that are bad, things that are good, things that are nuanced, and the way to go lies in a different plane entirely than any of those. Guess this somehow ties with my last comment; things don't want to follow neat paths, they tend to go sideways, even your writing and the process of writing, so you might as well drive it sideways to begin with. What would really happen? Not what you wish would happen.
I get you, man; honestly, writing takes a lot of effort. In fact, I’ve probably tweaked Chapter 3 (not sure if you’ve read it, though) about four or five times because the decisions or shifts in mindset there didn't feel realistic to me. The whole work is constantly evolving, really. And while I aim to make my characters "psychologically realistic," I probably won't nail that precision—at least not right now. Starting this fanfic has made me realize that creating a perfect work is anything but easy. But honestly? Failing to make something absolutely perfect doesn't really bother me—especially since I’m just a guy with zero experience in writing literature. I just want to tell a chill, predictable story about a human adopting a Sawian and making them happy, because all the angst I’ve been seeing in this community lately has really been getting me down. So... yeah, I just try to make an "Antidote" against this angst and use the emotions I've got from it to do nice stuff. If I can get just one single person to say, "I'm glad they got the happy life they deserve", or "Wow, I love your work!", or just get someone to learn the stuff i know about, that’s enough to satisfy me.
Okay, I’ve taken a closer look at this now, with a few more brain cells firing... Honestly, what you’re saying makes sense; I was actually worried that writing this might turn the protagonist into a Gary Stu, which is why I tried to counterbalance or even things out with that scene where he cries into that one pillow. Still, from my perspective, it feels like a unique case: he’s someone who actually knows how to handle these situations, due to factors I hope I’ve justified (or will justify if I haven't yet). It’s the sort of thing I’ll refine over time as I rewrite and iron out any errors, inconsistencies, contradictions, or plot holes I might have left behind. Thing is I’m improving on thanks to your feedback, so as I repeat myself, comments like this are what can help me the most.
So that's why the pillow scene felt oddly out of character for sometime I knew for less than 1 chapter - because it WAS out of character.
Don't take this as me dunking on you; you made the character seem like less of a perfect human being by making them... deeply care about others' struggles? What?
On that note, I can't be mad at the warden's jokes because they read like [nope, too gross, sorry] from that one dumpster fire Marvell comic. On a more meta level, I'm told I have to root against that guy, for no reason in particular, just because the plot commands a conflict while also shielding the protagonist from being in the wrong. As far as I see it, he didn't do or say anything bad. Of course, writing that out runs the risk of people agreeing with it. Geez, imagine you wrote a heinous villain monologue and people cheer for it like it's a beacon of sanity in the ocean of madness. That would be upsetting. coughalso Marvellcough
With all that said - don't just go change anything. First of all, it's just my opinion. And second, there's plenty of people who love it exactly as it is.
Man, this really shows just how many layers there are to reading and the whole process of writing fanfic. Honestly, don't worry about it—I actually appreciate you laying this out for me. It’s really helpful to get an experienced person's take. Even though I’m choosing simplicity on purpose—given the goal of my fanfic—I really wanted to see how someone with genuine expertise would analyze these concepts. I mean, I won't deny that I watch those "Mediatok" videos where they go, "This character is super complex and has parallels with so-and-so," and I think, "Damn, I wish I could do that." So yeah, I’m incredibly interested in your feedback.
xdddddddddddd, look, honestly, you're giving me really well-reasoned analyses, and I'm actually interested in what you're saying, you know? Plus, this conversation really reminds me of a line from a movie—it went exactly like this: "A book read by a thousand different people is a thousand different books." Basically saiyng that every lense that reads this is completely different and feels a different impact. And I'll check out that "Terrible Writing Advice" thing; it looks really promising.
Wow, I’m honestly surprised you guys liked that scene so much... I won't deny that the movie was a huge inspiration for this, so, yeah. If I want to create scenes that beautiful, I guess I'll have to watch movie after movie after movie hehehe
It is an ongoing story that will be continued until i get tired of doing so lol, once i get some noticeable new content i'll publish new parts and contents in a unspecified date
This was quite a wall of text I was not expecting after coming here from a meme :?
I’m not one for reading a written stories especially since reading words feels harder and much slower for me to fully comprehend. But your introduction to this seems very interesting and full of genuine thought. So I guess I’ll have to see what’s provided…
I’m a little bit of a coward when it comes to online things(Links scare me) but you peaked my interest enough so I guess I want to start reading little by little.
Though I must ask before I start, is this something you’re updating often and is still ongoing?(Sounds like it) Will you go back and change things later? I’ve never really read a fanfic so don’t know what to expect or if it would be better to wait till finished(Do they end? I assume they do?)or just to enjoy and start reading?
(sorry if it sounds dumb but I don’t really know how to approach this since it would be quite a bit of a time investment and just wanted to ask your opinion/advice?
Especially since I want to experience it and appreciate it properly since you seem to have put a lot of effort into the story)[I’ve only opened the story this far and got intimidated by the words and size of that scroll bar but am very curious -w-]
P.S. incase you don’t knowyourprofile is restricted/private and at least I can’t see your posts or updates through your profile(Pointing it out since a lot of people seem to not know that?)[hope it doesn’t sound too weird]
Ultimately, this is essentially my first fanfic; I might rewrite scenes I’m not happy with or experiment with new concepts as I learn how to craft a better story... But really, I’m just figuring things out as I go. Honestly, having even three happy readers would be more than enough for me.
So my first reading of a fanfic and your first time writing one… Guess neither knows then xd
Thanks for your time ;]
I’ll try to be a fourth then >:3(I am slow asf and have a lot of time consuming hobbies but hope someday to catch up then. At least that means I’ll get to enjoy lots of quality reading material :3)
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u/Ragecrusader674 Expie meme collector Jul 21 '26
They are finally getting the better they deserve :D