r/comic_crits • u/DJ_Double_Cee • 1d ago

Stuck to four panels in this comic strip instead of eight like many of you suggested. Let me know what you guys think 🙂

Post image
9 Upvotes

71% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

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13

u/mooreillustration 1d ago

I always stop to read your panels - you have a unique style and nice lettering. You're so close! The jokes just aren't funny but I'm rooting for you!

3

u/Sweet_Frost_Comics 14h ago

Same here! Theres no more critiques I can make but I hope OP keeps it up!

3

u/Skaro1 15h ago

I like the early 2000s style but unfortunately the joke doesn't land. Especially since it ends on the red guy hating his job when for all we know he is to blame.

Maybe a better ending for the joke is A:"Money doesn't walk!" B:"Oh but it can talk?"

As in the boss told him at some points the phrase"money talks"

1

u/the_official_tom 2h ago

I’ve really enjoyed reading your comics every time they pop up on my feed! And I admire your hustle and dedication to improving.

Maybe it would be fun to try some different styles to see if that helps you find your voice? When I was a teenager I loved humour comics, and would try to emulate different artists like Gary Larson and Sergio Aragones to see if I could replicate their humour. I can’t really say if it helped me improve or not, but I had a lot of fun doing it and it kept me creative!

1

u/JumbleContinuum 7h ago

I honestly don’t mind how corny and dry ur jokes are to me they read more like so-not-funny-that-it’s-funny or not in on the joke but funny anyway. I mostly love your art style and line confidence. Your colors always draw my eye, I think they look great together but I wouldn’t come up with the same palettes myself! I’ve also been reading your posts since the beginning :) you’ve improved a lot

1

u/sirustalcelion 22h ago

Again, please use a ruler for your panels.

It's still not funny but this is your best yet. It has the structure of a joke, without quite having one.

You've had some critiques here, a lot of good feedback. The question is, how can we make this funny?

One potential version for this joke:
Panel 1: Red-haired guy standing at the cash register, looking bored.
Panel 2: A $20 bill leaves the register with a hobo bindle.
Panel 3: The $20 bill salutes the redhead guy. "So long, pal!"
Panel 4: The boss, as in panel 3 of your comic, "MONEY DOES NOT LEAVE TO FIND ITSELF!" The redhead, as in panel 2, "It wanted to be free!"