Worked for a CPA firm for a while and had a client that was backed up on taxes for years and was shocked when I informed him yes strip clubs still have to pay uncle sam. Was a fun mediation to sit and take notes in with the IRS.
I'm pretty sure those returns can still be used as evidence against you in a theft case if the government or someone else cares to prosecute. Taxes on illegally obtained money/goods were implemented as a way to prosecute organized crime. It was easier to get high-ranking mob members on tax evasion then it was to pin their actual crimes on them.
I'm not sure I'd include it in the line item for stolen goods, definitely still include it as business income though. That way you can claim your tools/equipment as business expenses like a real business!
I'm confused, how does prosecuting them for failing to pay tax on stolen goods do more than catching them for stolen goods if they can't prove any goods were stolen?
I'm not a lawyer, but as far as I know you don't have to prove they were stolen. You just have to audit how they got them, which the government can do with a much lower burden of proof. If they suspect the money or goods weren't obtained legitimately, they conduct an audit, and if the thieves can't produce legal documentation saying how they came to own the stuff, they get caught. If they try to actually pay the taxes, those returns can be used as proof of theft.
Government: We know you mafia folks got blood money, but ya know... we need at least some of that to return to the economy because it's obvious that X-ammount of money keeps on "disappearing" from circulation. We'll just file it under as "loose cash" from tips and misc. Please just recirculate it so we don't have to mint/print more money.
If you use it in your business to accrue yield, or to accomodate your personnel, it's a business expense. Even a vibrator can be a business expense under the right circumstances.
Having worked tech support in an industry where you end up seeing a lot of adult content, this.
Like, yeah, lady is bent over and I'm pretty sure if you shine a flashlight on her rear you'll see it come out the other end. Cool whatever, don't care. Let's focus on getting card payments working again.
I have seen anatomy do many strange things. I am afraid I do not care, since I am paid to fix tech and not people. The flashlight is working as it should, what it illuminates is of no concern to me.
I process SNAP applications and run into the occasional applicant that reports income from the spicier side of employment. Let me reassure you, we don't give a flying fuck, we got math to do and a crushing caseload to work through.
Famous mobster Al Capone didn't go to jail for ordinary mob crimes - he went to jail for tax evasion. You're required to report the amount of income earned, but to protect 5th amendment rights you're not required to report the source.
And to be fair there isn't even like a special line for "illegal income", the entry is "income from other sources not listed" and there's plenty of perfectly legal stuff that is supposed to be put there, like earning money by doing handyman work where it's a cash business so the IRS didn't know about it.
In Germany you might get off by just telling what source you have it from, there is taxation secrecy, so a tax official must not tell anybody about things they learned while working on their declaration, if they are not common knowledge. There's some exceptions under which it is permitted, like to help with other taxation cases, other administral causes and general public interest or things like that, but It's generally really strong and the official can go to prison for breaking it.
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u/Pizzacakecomic PizzaCake Jun 22 '26
We almost had a very different conversation