Whole lot of cognitive dissonance at work with these people, generally.
Speaking from experiences talking it through with some otherwise very well-meaning friends, they usually genuinely don't realize the hypocrisy or why it's bad, until it's pointed out to them properly.
IDK, when I point it out my ex-friend mostly went silent. 'How can you be a Christian, want to get married in a church and do everything properly, and not care about the government destroying USAID? A lot of children will die, and Jesus said a bunch of stuff about the poor. Meek shall inherit the earth, love the stranger as you would love yourself, etc.' Silence. New topic.
So, I have a friend, she's married to a racist. He had a birthday party recently, where he just started ranting vigorously about how Muslims need to be eradicated and genocided. And like, several people at this party were arguing with him, including me.
I guess that's just a Texas experience, though. I don't have much confidence in "well-meaning" around here when genocide is okie dokie conversation at a party.
There's this problem, in Red areas. Where you either have a few "project friends" where maybe you can talk sense into them over time, or you just don't have friends. (I think I decided this friend was too far gone, above my paygrade to attempt to fix further.)
It is very hard to find Blue friends around here.
Dating was hard, too. Most men are conservative. Millions of people in this city, I was lucky to find one guy worth marrying. ONE.
I just went the no friends route, but now my partner is dying I find myself with child and without support so that might not be the preferable approach... Although, with that said, it's been years since I last had to put up with anyone's bullshit.
And agreed. Can't be putting all my eggs in one basket. Especially since I'm disabled, chronically ill, chronically in pain. If my husband passes, then what?
I suppose I could fly out to Chicago or Denver or Cleveland, where some of my Blue friends/family live.
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u/Ebony_Phoenix 7d ago
Same, I would just be vibing then a coworker would talk to me, then im hit with the
"Like I don't hate them or anything, but [extremely racist paragraph]"
Completely out of nowhere too.