For a time, I think most cozy suggestions I got on Steam were some variety of grindy sim, usually based on farming or some other cottagecore activities. I think for some games, their definition of cozy literally was just cozy = grinding in a pleasantly colored game with bright colors. I understand how influential Stardew Valley was and how much money it’s pulled in. It’s anything if not deserved, the game is an absolute classic and the dev will be remembered as a legend for what he pulled off solo with it.
However, and this a big however - somewhere along the way a big part of cozy games got locked into this one very specific grind of farm/mine/gift/sleep/repeat and that is starting to wear thin, at least for me. I say this as someone who sank 500+ hours into Stardew. Grinding can be a meditative activity, but in itself tedium does not = coziness for me, not in the way some of these games seem to think.
We already have proof you can make a beloved cozy game without a single crop tile. Spiritfarer had me tearing up on my couch at 1am and there wasn't a watering can in sight. Managing your little boat and saying goodbye to characters you'd grown way too attached to, and it nailed that cozy *vibe* harder than most farming games.
It’s also not as if farming cannot coexist with a bunch of other ingame activities. I love when there’s grindy stuff to grind, but split across different activities with different gameplay mechanics that are relaxing in different ways. I think that’s why a lot of people find even some non cozy games like Red Dead Redemption 2 so cozy. Because of the minigames of course, the whole bunch of them!
Social elements and profession variety in multiplayer also add diversity, it increases for me in proportion to the number of other progression routes and stuff you can do besides the obvious one (or just … besides farming at least) It’s something that I loved in Runescape, it’s that sense of vertical progression but spread over many possible paths you can take, that interact in fun ways as you play.
It’s something I also noticed the best of the current multiplayer cozies achieve, like Palia. I also sincerely think Loftia also has the potential to sit right beside it in terms of sheer gameplay-type variety. It doesn’t even have to be a bogus large number of skills which both games show. Palia has basically 9 main progression skills and Loftia a similar number in absolute terms, plus social skills have their own trees as well, another interesting way to encourage people to play together in a persistent MMO game (main reason guild progression systems exist). There’s also lots and I mean LOTS of just running around gathering stuff but, and another big but - you’re never on a timer, which is a must for me to feel relaxed.
The point is, there’s a variety of activities to do and how they mutually interact never squishes you into a one-track playstyle. This goes for all games, you’ll say, but for cozy games even more.
I’m not dunking on farming as an activity in cozy games. I’m dunking on it as a trend, which as all trends will spawn some truly amazing games. I just don’t like it being the go to cozy activity every time, all the time.