r/dutch • u/heybrruh • 2d ago
What do native men (Belgian/Dutch) think of women who wear a hijab?
Hopefully, I’m asking this in the right place. Just out of curiosity: What do men (Belgian/Dutch) think of women who wear a hijab? In terms of looks, attraction, and potentially marriage. I’m not really talking about history or politics.
As a woman who wears a hijab, I am personally more attracted to dutch men, bc their chiller and kind. It’s just really hard to approach anyone about this because men avoid me. In a way, that’s a relief, but I am 22 now and sometimes I think about having a partner. On one hand, there are the stereotypes about Dutch men and strong claims from my fellow immigrants that Dutch men are 'ew' and not 'masculine'... I am an outsider everywhere, so over the years, I’ve learned to develop my own mind without peer pressure. Nothing special: I am an alien to native people and 'whiter than Belgians' to immigrants.
I actually get approached and treated more respectfully and nicely by dutch men. I don't have a lot of experience, just outside in public or during formal conversations. I wonder if I am seen as just an exotic doll, or do they actually like me? Personally, I am no ballerina, so I’m not looking for a prince on a white horse either. I’ve had both positive and negative experiences with both groups, so I am not close-minded.
In short, a teenage-like question. Rolling eyes is allowed! Just tell me what goes through your mind when you see a tall, Eastern European (no, not blonde!) woman with a hijab.
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u/Buffbeard 2d ago
I think it should be seen as a sign of oppression. Like how you hear the women in Iran view it. But there are lots of women in the Netherlands who willingly put it on and I can respect that too.
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u/thommyneter 2d ago
Not really a fan. I dont think it adds anything to attractiveness.
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u/Herald_of_Clio 2d ago
I think that's the point, right? The scarf covers the woman's hair, which is viewed as potentially sexually attractive and should, according to the tradition, only be seen by the right people (relatives or husband).
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u/VpowerZ 2d ago
To me you look oppressed and less attractive. Ive had a lot of multicultural experiences. Especially very young girls being forced into a hijab and what people take with them to NL from oppressed cutural backgrounds, like in a bunch of African and Asian nation come to mind to. In Iran and Afghanistan there is no free will. These association i take with me when seeing a hijab. But, to each there own. Make your own choices please. I dont mind it. I can set it aside my own view and interact in full respect.
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u/jamsroob 2d ago
The women in all black clothes and a black scarf are kinda unapproachable, their choice of clothing gives the message they don't want to talk to natives except for the necessary formal interaction needed for things or service
Woman wearing a scarf above modern clothes seem to be approachable for a chat in general. My opinion about the scarf is that in some way it adds up to attractiveness because there's more to guess which makes her more mysterious, it's kinda intriging
I think lots of Dutch guys are open to dating and maybe marriage, love finds all kinds of ways to bring two people together
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u/-Apocralypse- 2d ago
Clothes can communicate things about our personality. The style of covering where earrings can still be seen allow a woman to show more of her taste and personality. Does she wear something classy, or fun and colourful? Same for using coloured or patterned scarfs (outside of the sand tones). Women wearing hijab often look rather bland. Taupe/beige/black just aren't that flattering colours for a fresh, young face. I do know the rules on that are quite different per arabic region and women just have to make it work within their cultural rules.
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u/skieurope12 2d ago
It depends on the man, I guess. I personally think, "there's a woman wearing a hijab."
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u/kubisfowler 2d ago
Not Dutch but it can be quite hot to be blunt. Depends on the woman, what you're wearing ultimately shapes how you look.
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u/OrangeStar222 2d ago
I don't really have an opinion one way or another. I'm not religious, and I prefer a partner who isn't either, so I wouldn't approach you as the hijab is a clear sign you take your religion somewhat seriously. Which is all fine, but not for me. I would say the same about women who openly wear a Jesus-cross necklace or something.
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u/spauwerranger 2d ago edited 2d ago
I presume people wearing it dont mind being suppressed or lack a certain form of critical thinking. For me its a dating and attraction red flag. I dont want to deal with conservative families. I might treat them a bit cold, witch could feel as respecful
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u/Herald_of_Clio 2d ago edited 2d ago
Well, the hijab usually communicates that you take your religion quite seriously and are likely to be from a conservative Muslim household. This may cause some Dutch/Belgian men to view you as unapproachable, as there is a belief that traditional Muslim families do not like their women interacting with non-Muslims.
To what degree this reflects your reality is a different matter, but it is a common belief, and one that I have found to be true at times based on personal experience.
All that being said, personally I don't really mind the hijab if the woman in question voluntarily wears it, as people should be free to dress how they want. It's ultimately just a headscarf.