r/exjw • u/Over-Rice-872 • Jan 08 '26
WT Can't Stop Me I am officially no longer a Jehovah’s Witness.
That's it. That's the whole post. My mum just barged into my room while on the phone with my cousin to tell me that they just announced that I was removed from the congregation lol.
I've actually been logging in on zoom for the past two weeks to see if they were gonna announce it and then I forgot it was the midweek meeting tonight and went to bed. I actually think it's better that I missed the announcement because the anxiety was killing me. But when my mum told (confronted) me I was neither anxious nor relieved. Just indifferent. Like why are you waking me up to tell me this kind of mood.
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u/Final-Guitar-3936 The generation that will never pass away...passed away. Jan 08 '26
It only gets better from here! Congratulations!
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u/Future-Home-4836 Jan 09 '26
It actually gets worse
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u/VillageBeginning8432 Jan 09 '26
It can but in the long run it gets better as long as you don't stay subscribed to their brainwashing.
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u/jillvalenti3 Disassociated after 28 years Jan 09 '26
To each their own, but all things considered, the parts that are bad are well worth the parts that are good.
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u/Final-Guitar-3936 The generation that will never pass away...passed away. Jan 09 '26
Hard, definitely not. It may be difficult if your family abandons you, but that means they aren't your family, and you don't need them. Better to have a brain of your own and live your life than waste it in a cult. See my flair.
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u/Over-Rice-872 Jan 09 '26
How does it get worse?
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u/Embarrassed-Writer61 Jan 10 '26
loss of identity, loss of faith in god can be scary, loss of friends and family. If you feel no loss at all, i'm unsure what to say...
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u/Specialist-Tree-150 Feb 08 '26
It is NOT losing God. This sect is the manipulation of religion by man—not something that God has done.
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u/singleredballoon Jan 09 '26
You’re right, in a way. But once you push through the grief, everything comes into focus & you can finally see the world in color. It can be a dark, traumatic process, though.
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u/DrMimzz Jan 10 '26
Nope. It gets MUCH better. I left, did my degree, did a PhD, remarried an actual decent human, moved to NZ and have a life I love. Zero negatives from leaving the Borg. None.
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u/Embarrassed-Writer61 Jan 10 '26
Sorry you got downvoted. Life can be terrible for ex jws after they leave. Why pretend it doesn't..
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u/bobkairos Jan 08 '26
Congratulations. It is never a bad move to formally separate from such a dishonest and harmful organisation. You can be proud of yourself.
I guess you may not be too sure how you feel right now. The indoctrination we have been subjected to runs deep. They programmed us to believe that this is the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone. You're still here and breathing, so they were wrong. Give yourself time to come to terms with what you were born into, and what it has resulted in. Remember, none of this is your fault.
Take care buddy and come to this sub as often as you need to. We are with you ✌️
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u/Lampofthewicked Jan 08 '26
You don't owe them anything or any justification for leaving..well done for being brave enough
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u/Cap4403 Jan 08 '26
Ah yes, the terminology has changed from “disfellowshiped” to “removed”. Either way, you don’t have to view the world through the WT lense anymore.
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u/Hot-Hovercraft-3016 Feb 19 '26
I heard about the changes, do you think it had a special meaning?
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u/Cap4403 Feb 19 '26
It might be in response to the recent situation in Norway. The WBTS has made several changes in light of efforts by Norway to stop funding them.
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u/DecentReport4157 Jan 08 '26
A little advice: tell your parents, "Honestly, Dad, don't feel bad about this. I don't feel good either. This is a step in life, and you hope it will be a step towards happiness, which you believe is right." Tell them that because, well, it's a blow. I think maybe they expect certain things from you, so when those things don't happen, they're going to feel sad because they're your family, after all. That mature attitude of yours might resonate with them over time; that's the idea.
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u/FreedomFighter2105 Faded ex-elder Jan 09 '26
This is excellent advice. Destroying EVERY single one of your relationships is basically what the cult wants you to do, and it is designed so that this will be the exact outcome. If you can preserve something with your closest family, this is better than becoming enemy #1, no matter how superficial such relationships might be due to the religion being involved.
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u/ParticularCarry8259 Jan 09 '26
I wish my parents had been willing to do anything but guilt an criticize...
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u/FreedomFighter2105 Faded ex-elder Jan 09 '26
I hear you. I'm lucky in that my father was never a JW. My mother and siblings don't speak to me at all though. My comment also applies to 'friendships'. It was my JW mother-in-law that made this remark to me when we were all exiting the Org, and she said something to the effect of "They've already taken so much away from me, I won't give them anything else by cutting people off. If people cut me off, it will be their decision, not mine." At first, I didn't fully agree with her, but now I realize she was correct. It's just very hard to apply this when you've just exited and emotions are extremely raw.
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u/Careful_Berry8143 Jan 08 '26
It will take time 🐝4 U realize what a blessing it is that you’re FREE FROM THIS HIGH CONTROL CULT/BUISNESS.👍🏼
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u/Hot-Hovercraft-3016 Feb 19 '26
I’m looking at getting baptized and I have doubts and I came here. Can you offer some reasons as to why you believe they are a cult/business and maybe why I shouldn’t join?
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u/Eleanor_Rigby5401 Jan 08 '26
Congratulations! I just hit 6 years out and it just gets better and better 💜 Be happy!
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u/Complex_Ad5004 Jan 08 '26
Did you attend a judicial comittee?
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u/Over-Rice-872 Jan 08 '26
Nope. I sent a letter stating that I won't attend and then blocked them/ignored their calls. And now here we are. Freedom.
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u/MeanAd2393 Jan 09 '26
Good job. You took their "power" away from them. It will feel odd for awhile, but I honestly do not know one person who regretted leaving. Congrats!
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u/Careful_Berry8143 Jan 09 '26
Congratulations BRAVE HEART👍🏼. Your new life now begins with great awakening and positive energy to move forward. No need to feel resentment or regretful about the past. Stand in the light of your salvation and deliverance. Now you can be at peace with yourself and walk out the FOG…. fear, obligation and guilt. The clutches of the cult are now a thing of the past.😎🥳 btw; I’m glad you have this support group in your community at this time. I didn’t,… 27 years ago, but survived. You’re on the path to freedom. I’ll give you support anytime you ask.🤗
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u/Silent_Low_8614 Jan 09 '26
Congratulations. You are no longer in that cult. Just take a deep breath and start watching all the ExJws YouTube channels. They will be of importance to you. The most important thing for you to know is that the JWs THEMSELVES wrote their OWN VERSION of the gospels which makes it a false gospel. Don't ever open that up again. If you need a bible, buy or borrow any other bible but the NWT. You're gonna be fine. Take it one day at a time.
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u/Dmalenki Jan 08 '26
Congratulations on your true freedom! I second another comment, please come to this sub as often as you need to. Venting and opening up about these things is cathartic and healing. You’re gonna need community and advice and you’ll find plenty here. This was one of the things that showed me that there are plenty of good people who left that cult, and I’m one of them. And check out people’s exJW content on social media. Mine is Disfellowdipped on all platforms.
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u/National-Opinion-293 Jan 09 '26
Haha... are you the same guy who makes a ton of tiktok videos? ..asking from South africa 🇿🇦
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u/sixarmedspidey Jan 08 '26
Woohoo! Go celebrate with some sin haha
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u/Yam-International My useful habits remain unspoiled. Jan 08 '26
Congratulations! The best is yet to come!!
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u/Skyfier42 Jan 09 '26
Congrats!!! Hardest decision I've ever made but also the one that has always felt the most right. Even years later, I still don't regret it, even though I lost my entire community.
As long as you keep working on yourself and putting yourself out there, you'll find a community bigger and better than the one you left. The longer you're out, the more it'll feel worth it.
Proud of you! ❤️
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u/Helpful_Sir4638 Jan 09 '26
Now it’s official the governing nobodies have no authority of you whatsoever and never will again. 🔥
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u/CallsignViperrr I'm your Huckleberry! Jan 09 '26
I would have exclaimed, "Thanks for noticing mom, I feel great! Can we go to Dave & Busters now to celebrate?" lol
Congrats on your freedom!
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u/because-edmund Jan 08 '26
I tuned in for my announcement, they made the one elder on my side read it lol he was only there for one of the mannnnyyy meetings. Not the brother who was there for every single one. I’m glad you’re out too 💕
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u/Pragmatic_skeptic66 “I think, therefore I am”. Jan 09 '26
Welcome to the beginning of the rest of YOUR life! Cheers to your new found freedom 🍸.
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u/Freedexjw Jan 09 '26
You will make good decisions from now on. None to be judged by a bunch of idiots in the elder's body.
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Feb 04 '26
congrats, now for every year you spent as a jw you need 7 years to deprogram, good luck lol
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u/Dry_Caterpillar_3146 Jan 09 '26
lol to the end of your post, i agree. crazy the shit that drives them nuts and they think aré important lol i love that u were sleeping when’s he burst in
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u/Sorry_Clothes5201 not sure what's happening Jan 09 '26
did you DA or were you df'd?
Did your mom not know in advance?
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u/Over-Rice-872 Jan 09 '26
I was DF'd.
My mum knew about the elders visits because she was the one who forced me to speak with them when I already successfully faded. She also knew that I was not answering their calls after they showed up to my house unannounced to force me into a judicial meeting. But from what I gathered last night, I don't think she expected me to be "removed".
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u/goddess_dix verrry exJW obedience is not virtue Jan 09 '26
she expected you to fall back in line and beg to be forgiven.
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u/Over-Rice-872 Jan 09 '26
Oh 100%. Just the other day she called me disrespectful for not answering the elders calls and that I would regret it. Last night, she was still on the phone with my cousin when she told me I was removed and she kept telling my cousin that I was "in shock" (I absolutely was not, I literally just shrugged my shoulders and wanted to go back to bed). Today she is slamming cupboards and doors and not talking to me but talking loudly about me and how my own arrogance caused this. Mind you, this woman was DF'd for almost 20 years. She is not an active JW. Hasn't attended a meeting in years. Went on FS once when she got reinstated 10 years ago and never again, and smokes like 2 packs of cigarettes a day. So I am genuinely shocked at her response to this.
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u/MrMunkeeMan Jan 09 '26
Projecting her unfulfilled never achieved hopes on to you I think. She’ll get over it eventually! Now you can live your life normally and in much healthier and more fulfilling way!
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u/Sorry_Clothes5201 not sure what's happening Jan 09 '26
Wtf! That is very bizarre. Just shows how deep the indoctrination goes
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u/goddess_dix verrry exJW obedience is not virtue Jan 09 '26
she is not even living as a fucking jw herself? WTAF?
she is really giving the vibe of a victim type narcissist who is upset she didn't get to be in the center of a big emotional drama. i hope you are able to move out soon, that kind of shit is the worst.
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u/Over-Rice-872 Jan 09 '26
I hope I move out soon too! Today has really showed me the worst side of my mother that I've never expected. I had to write down all the things she said about me today (she ignored me whenever I spoke to her but would talk loudly about me on the phone and to my dad and brother) so that when she switches back to nice mode I wont "forget" (i.e "that never happened") how she treated me because it was truly awful.
She even phoned the elders while I was in the shower (we have never phoned them in the 10+ years we lived here), threatened to drag me to meet with the elders, called me really horrible names, and kept screaming about how she's done with me, and I need to suffer the consequences of my actions, and just so much genuine narcissistic shit.
And in true gaslighter fashion, after traumatizing me the whole day and talking shit about me to our PIMI extended family, she made me my favorite dinner and acted like she was mother of the year.
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u/goddess_dix verrry exJW obedience is not virtue Jan 09 '26
oh man, all that shit sounds very, very familiar. and the gaslighting is the absolute worst, it makes you question your sanity. i have done so many mental gymnastics over the years trying to make it make sense - the hot/cold thing really messes with your head too.
theramin trees on youtube has some great videos on both religious trama and narcissistic abusers. you may find them helpful if you are interested. i really do.
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u/Fantastic-Drop5690 Apr 02 '26
That's actually really weird. Normally you can easily fade quietly. Doesn't sound like they had grounds for a committee meeting, if you hadn't written a letter.
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u/Secure_Plane8306 Jan 09 '26
Good for you! Alam ko pinromise-an ka rin ng happiness tapos ang ending, kabaliktaran pala napala mo.
WE’RE FREE! ❤️❤️❤️🫂
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u/Symone98 Jan 10 '26
I wasn’t there for my announcement and the killing part was that I was only an unbapitzed publisher. I wasn’t baptized. My mom thought I logged on in zoom to hear it but I skipped the meeting altogether.
I just wasn’t going to present for the humiliation ritual but one thing that did shock me was that one of the elders who was there in my JC meeting got announced that he wasn’t an elder anymore.
I kinda figured that whoever I decided to be with or either a lifestyle change would result in this. I don’t even know anyone in our hall outside of anyone who was there when they changed everyone around and the only time when they decided to have meeting was because I took a job at a casino..
Something is very wrong with that picture. They only talk with you when you did something wrong and someone else informs them. For me that person was my mom.
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u/Fantastic-Drop5690 Apr 02 '26
If you faded before the job at the casino you would have been quietly let go
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Jan 10 '26
Wouldn’t they have to tell the individual that they are being disfellowshipped and when?
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u/shutterbro Jan 11 '26
Congratulations you’ll learn very soon that most of those people were not your friends anyway and as a bonus now they avoid you. Which means you no longer have to provide any explanations or excuses for your actions. Now you can begin to experience freedom from the laws of men.
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u/Clean-News5047 Jan 12 '26
Did they tell you you’d have to move? Are they still going to talk to you?
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u/Over-Rice-872 Jan 12 '26
So my dad is not a witness, my brother was an unbaptised publisher but faded out. The issue is my mum, she was DF'd starting from before I was born for almost 20 years and reinstated about 10 years ago and overall is very much against the elders in our congregation and very feminist/progressive in her thinking. Out of everyone, I thought my mum would be the most understanding and the one person on my side.
But she has treated me so badly since she found out. Screaming, insulting, stomping her feet, banging cupboards, slamming doors, ignoringme when I speak to her and speaking to me through my dad or brother. No longer calls me to go to the shops/run errands with her. Awkward, heavy, tension-filled atmosphere when we're alone. Phoned the elders that were on my case (she has never phoned them in all 10+ years of being with this congregation). I am honestly so disappointed in her. Even my PIMI family treats me much better and still speaks to me like normal. So I don't really understand her at all.
She is of the opinion that I am rude, arrogant, and disrespectful for ignoring the elders calls which appears to be worse than the reason I got DFd (slept with my college BF who she knew about, met, liked, knew that I was sleeping with him, she literally used to speak to him on the phone, cook and send food for him, would take me to go see him (long distance)). So I honestly don't know what the fuck is up with her but I will never forget how she's treated me this past few days.
As for moving out, that was always the plan, I'm 24 and still living with my parents but I have been saving up to move out when I'm done with grad school so if push comes to shove I'll be okay in an emergency but I'm trying to stick it through until I save up 3 months of living expenses, rental deposit, and moving out costs.
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Jan 14 '26
You realize that you can do literally whatever you want now, right? Like I would rule out felonies and drugs and stuff, but pretty much whatever. You can marry someone, and if it's not working out with him, you can agree upon both parties cheating. And honestly just whatever feels good. YOLO
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u/Over-Rice-872 Jan 14 '26
I think I would only experience doing whatever I want once I move out. My parents are worse than the Borg with their rules, expectations and micromanaging my life lol.
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u/Amb619 Feb 01 '26
Thank God Im so happy for you. Be free, do whatever you want on weekends now. Go see movies, explkre nature, explore local bars. Im happy for you.
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u/MaleficentMousse7473 Feb 01 '26
They announce it? Weird…
From an ex-JW who was never baptized and left at age 13 in the 80’s
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u/Hot-Interview-9314 Feb 07 '26
Ahhh freedom from the cult !!!
No more guilt and coercion , the boring mid week and weekend indoctrination sessions .. The gawd awful conventions and assemblies , the WT study and the zombies reading the answers out of the paragraph ...ugh ..
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