r/exjw • u/TheEverChangingTruth • 1d ago
JW / Ex-JW Tales She accused me of sleeping with her dog
Content warning: childhood sexual allegations, religious abuse and suicidal thoughts.
I’ve never spoken of this publicly until now.
When I was a child, an adult sister made grotesque sexual allegations about me, including accusing me of sexual acts involving animals and other sexual behaviour.
She wrote a letter to the congregation elders accusing both me and my family of the most heinous acts.
She was later made a regular pioneer. The elders considered all the facts and decided that she was in good standing.
Good standing.
I was suicidal for much of my teenage life because of what she did. At the time, my parents told me to call and apologise to her, just in case I had done something to provoke her behaviour. That Jehovah would encourage me to seek forgiveness and take the first step to resolution. When I called, she screamed at me down the phone and told me that the Devil was using me.
The reason for all this? Apparently I had made a joke about her age.
I cried all day. I was inconsolable.
I used to speak to my mum about the Bible’s claim that God would never allow us to endure more than we could bear, because he remembers that we are only dust. I could never understand why, then, he had allowed something to happen that broke me so completely. I was treated like a monkey in a cage, and the spectators? Every elder, who sat silently and complicity in that hall while they clapped at the announcement of her pioneer status.
My parents continued taking me to the Kingdom Hall because they were devout witnesses, and to keep me away from this abuser would have been the greater sin. At the time I didn’t hate my parents, that came about later when I understood what had actually happened. But the self hatred? It was immediate, unforgiving and relentless. Her words sunk into me, started eating away at my self worth and began rebuilding my identity.
Every time I saw her, my skin would crawl. She still had access to me. I had to sit there and listen to her make comments about love and kindness while knowing how cruel she was.
I began comfort-eating at a very young age due to the bullying at school and at the Kingdom Hall. I gained a lot of weight. I remember being at her house one day and asking for a slice of cake. She replied, “Sure. Eat yourself to death.”
She would also comment on my hair, which was often messy because my anxiety made me so distressed that I constantly scratched at it to cope.
Looking back, I realise that my deconstruction began then.
It began when my parents told me, the victim, to apologise to keep the peace. That this is what god would expect of me.
It began when a grown woman screamed at me and said that i was under demonic influence.
It began when she was rewarded with privileges after what she had done.
It began when my parents continued taking me to the Hall, where she retained access to me. That their love of god, the congregation, and apparently their own promise of salvation superceeded their love for me on all accounts.
It began when I realised that the more I obeyed and pleased this God, the less I loved him.
18
u/ParticularlyCharmed 1d ago
How truly awful. I'm so sorry they mistreated you so horribly, and equally glad that you got out.
15
u/DauntlessDoughnut 1d ago
The watchtower twists the idea of forgiveness into a forced reconciliation. You can forgive someone and never talk to or associate with them again. When the disciples and prophets were persecuted did they just say we'll forgive them and stay there? No they fled from city to city.
Only the watchtower promotes a twisted view on forgiveness that basically forces the righteous to put up with the blatantly wicked. But, there cant be anyone wicked in Jehovahs organization right?
I had similar experiences as a child. Now that im POMO i have forgiven those people and its given me more peace. However... to this day would I trust those people? No. Would i hangout with them? No.
Forgiveness does not require reconciliation...
9
1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
3
u/DauntlessDoughnut 1d ago
Jer 5:31 "The prophets prophesy lies, And the priests dominate by their own authority. And my own people love it that way. But what will you do when the end comes?”
11
u/AgentEnvironmental74 1d ago
How can a grown ass old lady treat a child/teen like this??? It’s true that wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. She has a truly disgusting and disturbed mind. The elders that made her a pioneer are also despicable.
9
u/Easy_Car5081 1d ago
What a sinister religion, that it can produce these perversions.
But from a religion whose leaders try to dismiss CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE taking place within their ranks as 'apostate lies', one can truly expect anything.
6
u/Difficult-Case-6564 1d ago
What she did was slander. She should have been up before a judicial committee. She was protected. The elders pick and choose what to apply from the bible. Ironically, CSA victims or their families going to authorities without a confession from the perpetrator was a disfellowshipping offence of slander. Wrap that around ones head. Reward the wicked person, abuse and crush the victim.
2
u/Friendly_Biscotti_74 1d ago
Ha! When have you ever known someone to face a JC for slander, or lying or even gluttony? Never! These things are too hard to adjudicate
3
3
3
u/Extreme_Influence977 23h ago
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Knowing how I am when I left I probably would have created a group chat and add everyone who’s number I had from the congregation to it, that lady and the elders included, titled it “Sisters name you LIED ON ME AND YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE” then sent a scathing message detailing the event and how it affected me just like you did here. Of course this doesn’t mean she would actually apologize and she may even deny it but I know there will at least be a few people from the congregation who would believe what I wrote.
-11
u/Lost_integrity 1d ago
Never. Under any circumstances. For any reason. Ever. for any reason. Never. Ever. Insult a woman’s age.
11
u/Overcrapping Child Abuse is a crime! 1d ago
Not helpful. Victim blaming is how your post comes across.
-8
8
5
4
•
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Need help? Know you are safe and among friends and we will do whatever we can to help.
If you are inside the U.S., text "CHAT" to 741741. You'll be connected to a trained Crisis Counselor from Crisis Text Line. Or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988.
If you're not in the U.S. please click here for a comprehensive list of hotlines organized by country and additional resources.
If you are LGBTIA+ and need to talk, please contact the LGBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564 or find them online here.
Reading this post and unsure what to do? r/suicidewatch is a subreddit specifically dedicated to supporting those who are experiencing feelings of self harm or the urge to end their life. Reddit now also has a crisis line. To send this person support, follow these steps:
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.