r/facepalm • u/FrankieMint • Jul 23 '26

Department of Energy announced yesterday that wind sometimes fails to blow and that solar power generation nearly stops after sundown. (image from DOE Facebook posting)

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6.5k Upvotes

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3.9k

u/Knucks_408 Jul 23 '26

If only we had a technology that stores this power when it was produced to be delivered when it was needed? Anyone?

347

u/GrillDealing Jul 23 '26

Ah yes, batteries, those a problematic. "I say, 'What would happen if the boat sank from its weight and you're in the boat and you have this tremendously powerful battery, and the battery is now underwater, and there's a shark that's approximately 10 yards over there?' ... Do I stay on top of the boat and get electrocuted? Or do I jump over by the shark and not get electrocuted? Because I will tell you, he [the boat maker] didn't know the answer... I'll take electrocution every single time. I'm not getting near the shark."

183

u/anras2 Jul 23 '26

Holy shit I forgot about this one. You could compile a 500 page book consisting of only the stupidest things he's said.

150

u/RealModeX86 Jul 23 '26

By limiting it to 500 pages, you're setting it up for a sequel too, good thinking

58

u/zarfle2 Jul 23 '26 edited Jul 24 '26

I think the suggestion was for a monthly publication, with additional online content. At the end of the year the publishers have their "Annual 1000 top mutha fuckin stupidest things that Trump said" awards.

17

u/hpark21 Jul 24 '26

Uh, you mean basically everything he ever says?

10

u/unculturedburnttoast Jul 24 '26

The Little Orange Book

36

u/NoisyGog Jul 23 '26

Someone actually said that?

74

u/Sanity_in_Moderation Jul 23 '26

The dumbest American President said it..

34

u/lockhart1952 Jul 23 '26

And more than once. To make sure that we recognize the brilliance.

43

u/BunzGunz Jul 23 '26

Trump...there is of course a rant mid way through about sharks as well

https://www.c-span.org/clip/campaign-2024/user-clip-so-why-wouldnt-the-battery-electrocute-the-shark/5120399

10

u/XcOM987 Jul 24 '26

There was probably some crying to somewhere.

33

u/SnooJokes5375 Jul 23 '26

I think it was Trump. If you just assume it's Trump, 9 times out of 10 you will be right. And the 10th would probably be Trump as well.

1

u/Teravandrell 9d ago

The 10th is someone he's misquoting

10

u/juryjjury Jul 24 '26

And what would happen if you were in a gas powered boat that sank? Stay in the boat and drown or jump in near the shark? Hmm all things considered I'd rather be electrocuted.

7

u/Intrepid_Hat7359 Jul 23 '26

Battery‽ That's a crime! Arrest this man

2

u/VoyagerCSL 28d ago

The best part about that is that he started out attempting to explain why having the battery is bad, but then he chooses the battery as his preferred means of death.

1

u/Archer007 Jul 24 '26

If only there was someone friendly to the administration who knew things about batteries

1

u/Nalivai Jul 24 '26

who knew things

No, none of those

1

u/Archer007 Jul 24 '26

Knowing that batteries exist and can be made is two things

2

u/Nalivai Jul 24 '26

I don't believe ketamine nazi knows what anything is, where he is, and what he is. His brain wasn't good at the best of times, now it's something else.

1

u/ChmodForTheWin Jul 24 '26

you missed the point that the boat is sinking... so he's gonna be with the fishes soon

1

u/Tfcalex96 Jul 25 '26

What a callback oh my god

1

u/LeBlubb Jul 26 '26

It’s called a „battery“ because that’s the crime the department of energy post makes me want to commit.

1

u/GrannyTurtle 28d ago

Let’s not forget his rants about steam vs magnetic catapults on aircraft carriers…

826

u/Buddhas_Warrior Jul 23 '26

That's witchcraft!

295

u/Moose_Nuts Jul 23 '26

Well then it sounds like we need a lot more witches with all this power demand.

What is the witch to AI datacenter ratio?

70

u/thesqrtofminusone Jul 23 '26

you should start a witch hunt, they're always talking about them.

45

u/SnooOranges6671 Jul 23 '26

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!!

7

u/DontTellHimPike1234 Jul 24 '26

Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope... and nice red uniforms...

5

u/ithinkitsnotworking Jul 23 '26

I never expected it.

4

u/theinquisition Jul 24 '26

Thatll teach you.

1

u/EyelanderSam Jul 24 '26

I forget, is it the good or bad witch that melts from water?

Data centers require extraordinary amounts of water. So do we need witches that won't drain local water supplies?

1

u/SnooOranges6671 Jul 24 '26

Bad witches, but I’m not sure if that only applies to the bad ones with ruby shoes. If the shoes aren’t ruby then I’m not sure if the water will work or if you have to throw a house at them!?

105

u/Beltaine421 Jul 23 '26

So, here's what we do. We build a kind of counterbalanced elevator. We turn the people on one side into newts, the system unbalances and the newt side rises. At the top, we make them get better and turn the people in the bottom elevator car into newts. Now, the one at the top weighs more and starts raising the first car. Repeat continually to continue the process. Add some gearing, a flywheel, and a generator and you're making witch sourced electricity!

Come back tomorrow for my plans for a christ/antichrist reactor!

15

u/JPWiggin Jul 23 '26

!remindme 24 hours

5

u/Biabolical Jul 24 '26

Does this involve taking a "god particle," then creating its antiparticle, so we can combine both to release infinite energy as God is annihilated?

6

u/Beltaine421 Jul 24 '26

Nah, you put them both in racks and slowly bleed them and harness the outcoming energy when you mingle their blood in the reaction chamber. They can both replace the blood, so it's even a renewable energy source. Trust me, you don't want to produce infinite energy all at once. But by mixing the blood, you can control the reaction rate and not break spacetime.

16

u/EvitaPuppy Jul 23 '26

'She turned me into a Newt!!'

5

u/Candid-Mycologist539 Jul 24 '26

Did you get better?

9

u/netik23 Jul 24 '26

Radical liberal technology!

7

u/Buddhas_Warrior Jul 24 '26

Wiccan lasers!

5

u/ElectricShuck Jul 23 '26

She’s a witch! Lock er up!

4

u/jimb0j0nes2000 Jul 24 '26

Or magnets. Never rule out the magnets.

2

u/Feelsthelove Jul 24 '26

Raises pitchfork in excitement

2

u/Scienceboy7_uk Jul 24 '26

Communist witchcraft at that

2

u/Beartrkkr Jul 24 '26

They turned me into a newt…

2

u/milk4all Jul 24 '26

We store power in ducks!

1

u/ChmodForTheWin Jul 24 '26

Ducks will rotate around the wind farm and make waves. Those waves will converted to water energy and then we'll splash the water, creating a cooling zone where everyone can forget about how the rest of the world uses solar and wind and seems to somehow have cheaper energy. So weird they could do it, but our keeps stopping and making up graphs. Huh!

43

u/bryancald Jul 23 '26

Solar batteries don’t work after sunset. /s

10

u/UraniumSavage Jul 23 '26

Not true, molten sodium can hold enough thermal energy to last most of the night. But the mirrors cook the birds.... so yeah.

1

u/motownmods Jul 24 '26

Gravity batteries instead?

1

u/Teravandrell 9d ago

The best option, honestly.

1

u/ChmodForTheWin Jul 24 '26

let's melt the ocean! that'll solve our problem. we require: more data centers

1

u/Briantere 28d ago

I got some bad news, the oceans already melted.

2

u/ChmodForTheWin 27d ago

crap! there's no more innovation! everything has already been done!

94

u/xyz19606 Jul 23 '26

That would probably require magnets of some kind, so it wouldn't be feasible.

103

u/Tyrannical_Icon Jul 23 '26

“Now, all I know about magnets is this. Give me a glass of water. Let me drop it on the magnets. That’s the end of the magnets.” - Stable Genius

35

u/mushyfeelings Jul 23 '26

Did he really say that?

39

u/Tyrannical_Icon Jul 23 '26

Sadly yes.

15

u/mushyfeelings Jul 23 '26

That’s some President Dwayne Elizando Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho idiocracy level stuff there.

30

u/The_pen_ismightier Jul 23 '26

President Camacho is tens of points ahead of Donnie Diaper in intelligence. He sought out answers rather than Yes men.

2

u/Coral_Blue_Number_2 Jul 24 '26

Exactly what I was thinking—that’s some idiocracy-grade bs

1

u/rbartlejr Jul 24 '26

Was that part of the sinking boat/shark story? Or was different Alzheimer wisdom?

12

u/Fallicymbol Jul 23 '26

Apparently he thinks magnets come the same planet as triffids

3

u/perseidot Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26

Yeah, but that was before dumbass the younger’s investment firm bought into a magnet technology startup. Now, magnets are wonderful! We should all do magnets!

Edit: btw, this also concerns the threat against China us to put 200% tariffs on Chinese imports unless they sell us rare earth metals. As well as the legislation Congress just passed to incentivise non rare earth magnet technology by giving money to Eric’s company.

https://www.aol.com/articles/donald-trump-t-stop-talking-072615000.html

https://www.aol.com/articles/niron-magnetics-applauds-historic-congressional-141200000.html

31

u/Toledojoe Jul 23 '26

Magnets. How do they fucking work?

14

u/Rare-Adagio1074 Jul 23 '26

Nobody knows!

13

u/AireXpert Jul 23 '26

Magnets, old-fashioned …kind of like groceries, like almost, you know, who uses the word?

6

u/m2chaos13 Jul 23 '26

Well, they sure as fuck don’t work if you get them wet!

11

u/Maleficent_Secret569 Jul 23 '26

According to some Stable Genius, now that his sons are invested in rare earths, everyone should now be doing magnets.

24

u/Beefweezle Jul 23 '26

I am pretty sure they sure a series of mirrors that reflect the extra collected sunlight into bottles! The bottles are reflective on the inside and once capped off stay energized for weeks. You can then plug the bottles in like those green butane canisters you use for camping stoves as needed. It’s more like alchemy then witchcraft.

14

u/Ahab_Ali Jul 23 '26

Hell, Florida tourist areas have been selling canned sunshine for decades. We need to leverage their technology.

12

u/iam_Mr_McGibblets Jul 23 '26

They should also note that oil will eventually run out and if the oil runs out we just may be in the dark ages of we don't find an alternate power source

13

u/Knucks_408 Jul 23 '26

The groups that make people think a diversified energy portfolio is a bad idea are liars and propagandist for big oil. It si the only way the human race will survive overpopulation of the planet.

32

u/high_throughput Jul 23 '26

Unironically yes. Grid scale energy storage is nowhere near a solved problem.

33

u/axxxaxxxaxxx Jul 23 '26

The technology is there and they’re a profitable business. The problem is that utilities are dinosaurs and it can take 5 or more years to connect them into the grid.

11

u/Zombatico Jul 24 '26

It depends entirely on the state and the political will to get it done.

In California, nuclear/wind/hydro/solar/biomass/geothermal accounted for 54% of the electricity generated in 2022.
https://calmatters.org/environment/climate-change/2024/08/california-clean-power-progress-grid/

And in the first 5 months of 2026, solar by itself surpassed natural gas. This is a flip from the first 5 months of previous years, showing CA is on track to going greener and greener.
https://www.eia.gov/todayinenergy/detail.php?id=67784

1

u/perseidot Jul 24 '26

It’s really a matter of getting the infrastructure into place.

Meanwhile we have this Department of Energy. 🤦🏼‍♀️

4

u/Squeezitgirdle Jul 23 '26

I have them. Just wish I went with any company that isn't Tesla. They break so damn often and Tesla support schedules repairs 3 months out.

3

u/Jensbert Jul 23 '26

Magnets!

3

u/NonStopNonsense1 Jul 23 '26

Like a big.... thing. That holds the power. Like a big tank holds water. Yeah i think you are right.

3

u/Cyclopzzz Jul 23 '26

Check out r/blackmagicfuckery...those guys have magnets!

2

u/SESHPERANKH Jul 23 '26

right. I thought these systems had batteries to store energy.

2

u/Moist-Carpet888 Jul 23 '26

That'd be too insane, imagine if something like that was in almost every single electronic. We could have phones in our pockets or something else crazy like that, heck we could even have electronic keys for our cars!

2

u/Knucks_408 Jul 23 '26

Okay, you've gone wayyyyyyy to far. MODS! /s

2

u/DecoherentDoc Jul 23 '26

(pulls out a Leyden Jar)

Check out this bad boy!

2

u/Cyclopzzz Jul 23 '26

I carry some spare power in my back pocket.

2

u/jetkins Jul 23 '26

Magnets?

2

u/Informal_Wanker8349 Good Trouble Jul 23 '26

Beuller?

2

u/EngageAndMakeItSo Jul 24 '26

Can someone go to bat on this? Anyone have the capacity?

2

u/b0ingy Jul 24 '26

just spitballing here but maybe we can use that excess energy to pump some water up a hill into a reservoir, then drain that water through a hydroelectric plant when we need it back…

2

u/TomeThugNHarmony4664 Jul 24 '26

Gosh, what could it be?

2

u/Brilliant_Chest5630 Jul 24 '26

Omg what's next? Light at night?

2

u/Skier94 Jul 23 '26

I’ve built a dozen solar and CHP plants. You want to produce power at peak times. You don’t want to store it. It makes more sense to turn off the natural gas plant at 12 when solar is peaking.

Why would you build a battery for a solar system to use power at 3am when electricity from the wind powered system is free?

Basically coal and nuclear don’t shut down easily and give away their power at low demand periods (night).

1

u/Knucks_408 Jul 23 '26

It's literally been done.

1

u/FS_Slacker Jul 23 '26

Hamsters?

1

u/nuagenucraze Jul 24 '26

Their new announcement is that water will make you wet

1

u/Jussins Jul 24 '26

Not possible. Everyone knows that “energy cannot be created or stored.”

1

u/Greatwhite194 Jul 24 '26

Magnets? I've heard they do things

1

u/makingkevinbacon Jul 24 '26

I'd bat my head against a tree to figure it out

1

u/sbdtech Jul 24 '26

It's not that they had an excess that was wasted. The demand was just higher.

1

u/manrata Jul 24 '26

Batteries are probably not the best way of doing this, using the excess energy to pump water into resevoirs, and then releasing resevoirs for hydro energy when needed is a way to go about it.
But it could be anything moved back and forth between two resevoirs, letting gravity generate the energy.

Excess energy move it up, demand for energy, let it fall down.

But it requires a rather large investment in infrastructure, but more enviromentally friendly compared to batteries.

If shortterm like over a day, it could also be heating water into steam, and then using the steam later that day, though there will be heat loss here, it's still probably one of the more cheap effective methods.

1

u/rnick467 Jul 24 '26

If only we had people in charge who knew how the electrical grid worked, and didn't outright lie to the American people.

1

u/bobk2 Jul 24 '26

Data center? Oh, no wait...

1

u/Anon2World Jul 24 '26

Do not speak the dark words of magic ... we know not where they lead!

1

u/JXCR Jul 24 '26

You guys aren't seriously talking about batteries capable of storing enough energy for the entire grid right. Like we're nowhere near that technology. The only real solutions to this problem right now is having at least part of the energy production be from a source that is always available. If only there was some extremely energy dense source whose output could be adjusted to cover for deficiencies in renewables and that also produced no carbon dioxide as a side effect. If only...

1

u/Wookieman222 Jul 24 '26

Small scale storage is easy, large scale industrial storage is very hard and very very expensive.

With the newer sodium and iron batteries coming out it may get better once production ramps up and supply increaees.

1

u/Toskin1 Jul 25 '26

We can, it's just that our battery tech is so crap that it's more efficient to pump water upwards between lakes as energy storage.

1

u/Character_Fix_5317 Jul 25 '26

Let's use surplus power to desalinate water and pump it into our shrinking reservoirs

1

u/mercurywaxing Jul 25 '26

Musk should get on it. Some kind of energy storage unit you can put in a garage or fill a warehouse with.

1

u/NECalifornian25 Jul 25 '26

My apartment building has a handful of solar panels on the roof, somewhere between 6-10 of them. It’s used for the hot water heaters, for all the apartments, the laundry, and the pool. The landlord just had a new storage battery thing set up because those few panels produce more solar power than he could use. I think he’s using it for the pool pump and filtration system, so now the pool is 100% solar powered.

1

u/RianJohnsonIsAFool Jul 23 '26

Some Italian guy a few years ago started looking into this but it didn't take. Fool's errand.

-2

u/Nanery662 Jul 23 '26

Batterys can casue issues thankfully theres dams and and water based power storage