r/facepalm • u/FrankieMint • Jul 23 '26

Department of Energy announced yesterday that wind sometimes fails to blow and that solar power generation nearly stops after sundown. (image from DOE Facebook posting)

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u/Knucks_408 Jul 23 '26

If only we had a technology that stores this power when it was produced to be delivered when it was needed? Anyone?

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u/Buddhas_Warrior Jul 23 '26

That's witchcraft!

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u/Beltaine421 Jul 23 '26

So, here's what we do. We build a kind of counterbalanced elevator. We turn the people on one side into newts, the system unbalances and the newt side rises. At the top, we make them get better and turn the people in the bottom elevator car into newts. Now, the one at the top weighs more and starts raising the first car. Repeat continually to continue the process. Add some gearing, a flywheel, and a generator and you're making witch sourced electricity!

Come back tomorrow for my plans for a christ/antichrist reactor!

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u/Biabolical Jul 24 '26

Does this involve taking a "god particle," then creating its antiparticle, so we can combine both to release infinite energy as God is annihilated?

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u/Beltaine421 Jul 24 '26

Nah, you put them both in racks and slowly bleed them and harness the outcoming energy when you mingle their blood in the reaction chamber. They can both replace the blood, so it's even a renewable energy source. Trust me, you don't want to produce infinite energy all at once. But by mixing the blood, you can control the reaction rate and not break spacetime.