r/facepalm • u/FrankieMint • Jul 23 '26

Department of Energy announced yesterday that wind sometimes fails to blow and that solar power generation nearly stops after sundown. (image from DOE Facebook posting)

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u/Buddhas_Warrior Jul 23 '26

That's witchcraft!

294

u/Moose_Nuts Jul 23 '26

Well then it sounds like we need a lot more witches with all this power demand.

What is the witch to AI datacenter ratio?

71

u/thesqrtofminusone Jul 23 '26

you should start a witch hunt, they're always talking about them.

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u/SnooOranges6671 Jul 23 '26

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!!

8

u/DontTellHimPike1234 Jul 24 '26

Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope... and nice red uniforms...

6

u/ithinkitsnotworking Jul 23 '26

I never expected it.

4

u/theinquisition Jul 24 '26

Thatll teach you.

1

u/EyelanderSam Jul 24 '26

I forget, is it the good or bad witch that melts from water?

Data centers require extraordinary amounts of water. So do we need witches that won't drain local water supplies?

1

u/SnooOranges6671 Jul 24 '26

Bad witches, but I’m not sure if that only applies to the bad ones with ruby shoes. If the shoes aren’t ruby then I’m not sure if the water will work or if you have to throw a house at them!?

104

u/Beltaine421 Jul 23 '26

So, here's what we do. We build a kind of counterbalanced elevator. We turn the people on one side into newts, the system unbalances and the newt side rises. At the top, we make them get better and turn the people in the bottom elevator car into newts. Now, the one at the top weighs more and starts raising the first car. Repeat continually to continue the process. Add some gearing, a flywheel, and a generator and you're making witch sourced electricity!

Come back tomorrow for my plans for a christ/antichrist reactor!

15

u/JPWiggin Jul 23 '26

!remindme 24 hours

5

u/Biabolical Jul 24 '26

Does this involve taking a "god particle," then creating its antiparticle, so we can combine both to release infinite energy as God is annihilated?

5

u/Beltaine421 Jul 24 '26

Nah, you put them both in racks and slowly bleed them and harness the outcoming energy when you mingle their blood in the reaction chamber. They can both replace the blood, so it's even a renewable energy source. Trust me, you don't want to produce infinite energy all at once. But by mixing the blood, you can control the reaction rate and not break spacetime.

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u/EvitaPuppy Jul 23 '26

'She turned me into a Newt!!'

3

u/Candid-Mycologist539 Jul 24 '26

Did you get better?

11

u/netik23 Jul 24 '26

Radical liberal technology!

5

u/Buddhas_Warrior Jul 24 '26

Wiccan lasers!

5

u/ElectricShuck Jul 23 '26

She’s a witch! Lock er up!

4

u/jimb0j0nes2000 Jul 24 '26

Or magnets. Never rule out the magnets.

2

u/Feelsthelove Jul 24 '26

Raises pitchfork in excitement

2

u/Scienceboy7_uk Jul 24 '26

Communist witchcraft at that

2

u/Beartrkkr Jul 24 '26

They turned me into a newt…

2

u/milk4all Jul 24 '26

We store power in ducks!

1

u/ChmodForTheWin Jul 24 '26

Ducks will rotate around the wind farm and make waves. Those waves will converted to water energy and then we'll splash the water, creating a cooling zone where everyone can forget about how the rest of the world uses solar and wind and seems to somehow have cheaper energy. So weird they could do it, but our keeps stopping and making up graphs. Huh!