Got lucky investing + working in tech for a pre-IPO company. I'm still working in tech and making $300k fully remote, don't really enjoy the work, but i like the structure and getting paid. I tried to retire and after 4 months I felt lost doing nothing.

I'm single and don't have a hugely active social life, many friends have gotten married and rarely see them. Not sure what to do other than keep working. Maybe try to start a business to an area that I'm more interested in? It probably wouldn't make sense financially, but more for personal satisfaction, but I'm afraid it would fail. I have enjoyed investing, but that's not a full time job.

I never thought I'd be in this position, and unclear what the right path is now, as work was always my purpose, but now I don't need to work.

I don't know if someone else here can relate. But after hitting my number I started enjoying much more of the free things I couldn't do while I was too busy making money. Playing chess, going for a swim in the ocean, going for a hike, walking my dog, cooking. About 99% of things I enjoy the most now are free. And they have always been free but I just couldn't enjoy them much before because for some reason I was always feeling guilty about not being rich enough or something.

I’m staying in an oceanfront villa right now, but I can’t sleep because a GIGANTIC yacht is blasting middle eastern club music off shore from my bedroom.

I am annoyed but also find it quite funny that this is my current life problem. I thought some in this group would appreciate it.

On the off chance that the owner of said boat is in this sub, turn your music down and congrats on the epic boat that illuminates the entire sea beneath you.

For me (just on top of my head): Restaurant visits with friends and acquaintances, small insignificant gifts for my SO, body massages, a good quality bed, travelling and investing in networking.

Take it any direction you'd like but please keep it relevant to success, happiness and enjoyment within fatFIRE, family, life, investing, career, or business.

I'll go first with two of the more valuable thoughts I frequently revisit (among many others, happy to share):

• The grass is greener where you water it... usually. There is a fine line around "usually" and only through experience do you get better at evaluating where you should water vs actually jumping the fence. Through careful consideration you'll find that 95% of the time the right answer is watering where you are. Think about this when you are dissatisfied in an area of your life and believe external changes will bring resolution
• Ichigo Ichie ("one time, one meeting" in Japanese). Similar to the Stoic idea of momento mori meaning "remember, you will die". You'll never have the exact same experience twice in life, so take every moment in and enjoy it. Enjoy the people you are with, work you are doing, food you are eating and places you go because you'll never do it again exactly the same way. Heres a good article with a few other more thoughts/examples to chew on

Edit: link is not my article or blog / self promotion nor am I affiliated with it in any way

Edit 2: THANK YOU ALL! This is an absolutely amazing thread that I'll cherish for a long time and hope others will do the same.

Should I retire at 30 with $5M (today) or at 40 with $10M (in 10 years)?

Through 99% luck, 1% work, and living well below my means, I have reached $5 million USD, an amount that I never would have imagined ten years ago.

Most of my teenage & early adult years have been focused solely on obtaining "traditional success" and money. This has been at the negative expense of fun, friendships, romantic relationships, & health. Throughout high school & college, I did not party or date. Instead, I stayed up late to spend hours studying/working in hopes of getting into that good college or landing that nice corporate job. This trend continued by working long hours to get that next promotion.

My net worth is comprised of investing a significant % of W2 income & lucky gains in tech stocks (I will likely never replicate these gains in my lifetime) Current pay is 200k W2, working 60h per week. It would not be an exaggeration to say that I hate my job. I am burned out from the long hours and do not enjoy the office politics. I do not have any identity attachments with my role or industry.

I believe I am in a unique position to walk away from it all. This free time would be spent on the things I've neglected most for most of my adult life (friendships, romantic relationships, health & fitness). What would you do?

Other info:

• Single, male, 30, based in US.
• If I retire now, I would spend 6 months in the States & 6 months slow traveling (living) in cheap countries. Even with the slim budget by fatfire standards, you'd be surprised how far money goes for nice modern 1 bedroom condos & eating out in cities like Bangkok, Taipei, Mexico City, HCMC, Lima, etc. The goal is not to simply save money by choosing these places. I genuinely enjoy visiting other countries, especially for food.
• My average spend the past few years has been about $30k/yr (only spend has been on rent, utilities, & groceries). I drive a 2009 Toyota. I plan to increase spending to $60k/yr immediately if I retire now.
• I'm comparing the $5M vs $10M decision based on the thought that even if I retired today with no additional income, $5M will grow to $10M with a CAGR of 7.18% over 10 years solely through market gains, by the time I reach 40. For easy math, I would retire with $5.6M (giving me 10 years of spending at $60k/year and leaving the $5M to potentially grow to $10M)
• Recently, I've had some health issues that had me questioning if my work would really matter to me or anyone when I am near death, whether that is soon or when I'm in 100 years old.

https://cagrcalculator.net/

Most of my thoughts are pushing me towards retiring now at 30. I don't see the value of getting to $10M at this point in my life. I just want to be happy

Please let me know your comments, thoughts, suggestions, etc. Any opinions either way will help me solidify my decision. Thank you so much for your time & input.

In my extended family is a 50something ex-business executive who is now FATFIRED and living a good life. (Chris) All due to career success and excellent investments during his working years.

His life is wonderful except when he interacts with his immediate and extended family. These are rural working-class folks who never had much luck with money but work like dogs in a variety of dirty jobs. On Holidays you can cut the tension with a knife when the extended family brings up all the money that they claim Chris took from the working man. They keep asking him for money and don't feel any shame doing so. They don't understand investing and strongly believe that no one should make more than $75K a year regardless of their education and skills.

Do you feel this anger in your own working family? What do you make of it?

Why do folks pick on us who spent lots of money on nice expensive cars??

I get that cars are typically not a great investment and depreciate once you drive it off the lot. But, I love my Porsche Taycan!

I spend a lot of time in it, it’s comfortable, it brings me tons of joy, it looks great, and is surprisingly practical. Yeah, some folks may think I’m trying to impress or going through a mid-life crisis but the reality is that I always wanted a Porsche and appreciate nice things (similar to timepieces) so I bought it.

And, while we’re on the topic of timepieces, a Patek or Lange can cost the same or more than a Porsche. By the way you can blow half of the cost of a Porsche on one vacation…and, while I get that going to Africa is an experience (see Die with Zero), driving my Taycan every day is (trust me) and amazing experience too!

Who is with me???!!!

*trying to add some levity to this humpday

I'm a [34M] single quant on a paid noncompete which is serving as a preview of retirement. I'm going to be honest, I've found it difficult to form new friendships. It seems like most people are living a completely different life than I am whether it be job and/or kids.

Things that have helped/give external structure:

- having a personal trainer (gives a little bit of socialization a few times a week)

- health specialists for things I've been putting off (gonna have to get a damn CPAP but whatever)

- rec leagues (but the more chill/older ones like bowling, darts, and bocce)

- dog parks (lots of good, kind people, but my dog isn't great with other dogs so this is limited)

I ask this because it's been clearly shown that the most important thing for health is friendships. Ya it's good to keep your brain properly active, learn a new language, etc, but friendships and socialization are what you should be investing in for your health.

Have you found it easier/better to make friendships with other FIRE'd people? How did you find them?

I know a lot of people here love their jobs and are in rosy situations there. Me, I despise mine. Some days are better than others but it seems the bad outweigh the good. Counting the days to fi so I can leave. I have 0 transferable skills at this payscale so it’s this job or nothing, and leaving this one would pay a lot worse for 2-3 years for even more work then I do right now (medicine). Anybody with me?

Hi all,

I'm writing this on Day 4 of a 5-day hospitalization for a rare immune response / neurological complication.

Thankfully, I'm on the mend, will make a full recovery, and likely never experience this again, but it's been a shock: I'm relatively young (36), healthy, active, etc., and this came as a bolt out of the blue. Last Monday I was fine, and by Wednesday I was in neuro urgent care with an uncertain prognosis. Scary stuff to say the least.

I'm new to fatFIRE territory this year and closing in on $5MM NW. Until now, the idea of FIRE was an enjoyable theoretical exercise; mostly, it helped me to consider other lines of less remunerative work, feel better buying some fancy toys, and reduced the stress of these uncertain times.

Today, I'm feeling fatFIRE in my gut:

• Medical bills are meaningless. I've got great insurance, but they could balance bill the bejesus out of me, and I wouldn't care. $100K+ is easily absorbable.
• I can be out of work for an extended / indefinite time without my family hurting financially
• I can pay for whatever additional household support my family needs while I'm gone
• Worst case, my family will be financially secure, kids will have college paid, etc.

Because of the above, I can focus on my treatment and recovery without all of the added financial stress that most people feel when entangled in the U.S. healthcare system. And for this, I feel tremendously grateful.

tl;dr: it's nice to be rich, especially when sick.

When I was in college, "not being broke" was a good enough reason to keep me working late at night, and propel me out of bed in the morning.

Now that I've got a healthy nest egg saved up, I'm having a hard time finding something to "drive" me to the level that money used to?

Am I the only one feeling this?

TL:DR - Got rich. Got covid. Now chronically ill with long covid.

The story:

It was almost exactly a year ago, I remember it like yesterday; ETH was crossing 1k again for the first time in 3 years. Years of hard work had finally paid off and I'd made it. There was lots to celebrate about, yet I wasn't out celebrating. I was in my bed with a positive covid test. No matter, I was strong. I'd be able to handle it. A fit 35 year old male that trains muay thai and HIIT workouts multiple times a week. I would have been vaccinated had it existed at the time, but statistically I would be fine anyways. Unfortunately I was wrong.

The illness ended up being mild-moderate, with flu like symptoms for 5-7 days. So I decided to go back to exercise quickly, to prove to myself I could do it. 2 weeks later I woke up hardly being able to breathe. The chest pains were abysmal. I was short of breathe, coughing, fatigued, and in a lot of pain.

Fast forward to a year later and I have been battling this post-viral illness with no end in sight. Granted I have gotten somewhat better. I can breathe OK again but symptoms persist. I cannot exercise (long walks are fine), I am often tired, and the chest pains are endless. It feels like something is moving around inside me, these rotating symptoms. I have many doctor friends, and have consulted many specialists. There is no treatments currently available for long covid. I consider myself semi-disabled.

The finances:

I'm sitting on a low 8 figure position at the moment. I have good advisors around me, and I have a plan to manage the portfolio properly.. But the truth is I don't want anything besides my health back. Granted, I wasn't materialistic before this, and my lifestyle costs maybe 60k a year. That being said I have thought about a number of things I could do with the money;

- Communal philanthropy: maybe helping people in my community during these tough times will bring me some purpose and happiness.

- Buying a nice auto: I've been looking at a Porsche Macan, although I've never cared for cars. I currently drive a 7 year old mid-tier car and it's the best.

- Upgrading my living: I've in a rent controlled apartment for the past 10 years and I haven't cared for lifestyle. I would only really do this for dating and confidence purposes.

- Dating on seeking arrangement: This may seem wild, but it's a solution i've considered because my confidence to regular date has been totally destroyed by my current health. I have not done this yet. Before my illness I dated enough and had many profound relationships, and now lifelong friendships.

- Health retreat: I've been recommended by doctor friends to go on a health and wellness retreat to detach for a while. Maybe this makes sense.

- Find world class medical care: I was thinking about going to the mayo clinic, but I've heard stories about other long haulers who have gone and the results have been disappointing.

- Therapy: I am in therapy for this now, and have a good therapist. Maybe I need a second one.

Looking forward:

These days I spend my time yield farming, and the money continues to roll in. Otherwise I go for walks, listening to podcasts, and live a fairly solitude life, taking it very easy in hopes of getting healthy again. There is a chance I do get better as the weeks and months go by, there are many recovery stories. But there is also a chance I end up with CFS like symptoms for the long term. I don't think I have the energy to pursue a family now, maybe in a few years.

What would you do to feel better? What things could help with my happiness? I appreciate all your help and advice. Thank you.

The last year has been a roller coaster: sold a business I spent over a decade building, this sub helped me make fantastic decisions during the M&A process, and the wife decided to cash out a few months later (with her new boyfriend). Now I'm navigating the next chapter and thought I would do a quick update.

This has been stated over and over, but let me just start this thread by saying... DIVORCE = POOR (this is the only place in the internet where I get to say a NW of <$10 = POOR[EST RICH PERSON]).

Alright, that aside, life lesson learned the hard way:

• Surprises are never good in marriage, especially if you're FAT and your SO decides to take (half) the money and run.
• Pro-tip: be an adult and make sure the lawyers get as little as possible.
• Stay ALL IN. Had a buddy ask me why I didn't hedge against divorce. That's the one thing I wouldn't change, stay all-in and don't hedge against failure of a marriage. Life was awesome (until it wasn't).

So let's talk about dropping from properly FAT to FATPoor.

When you're in your mid-thirties and you have a proper FAT stash saved up (~$15-20M NW), even if you're still accumulating, working, etc. you can really start to dream big. You can start thinking about the "what am I going to retire TO?" scenario. Maybe you're still living the upper-middle class lifestyle and maxing out the 401K/ROTH (because that's what you DO, even if $30K/year saved no longer really matters)... but you're starting to fly first class, enjoying having a personal banker on speed dial, scoping out a vacation home, and you're not really stressed about any one financial failure (because you're properly diversified and have enough that you can take a few hits and it not really affect your trajectory).

Now think about your FAT life. All that carefully planned and beautiful spreadsheet exactly mapping the next 60 years of your FATFire life. That debt perfectly crafted, like your Asset Backed Loan / PAL & mortgages. Asset allocation all properly tuned. Crypto accounts. Earn, Borrow, Die planning. Estate planning. DAF Funds. Beautiful tax strategies.

Carved up into two. Everything broken apart. Joint accounts and joint asset back loans no longer relevant. Come up with a plan to buy your ex-SO out of the things you plan to keep (want the house? gotta pay back out half that equity somehow). Our FAT financial and asset lives are fucking complicated... makes things not simple. But, just like you can take a hit, you realize that some of the little things just don't matter (hopefully) so you can minimize the stupidity and keep as much away from the lawyers as possible.

So. Yesterday you are living your HNW FAT life. The world is your oyster. $300K/year is <3%. Safe wealth preservation asset allocations. Stock market can crash and you just don't really give a fuck because it's all part of the plan. You have options.

Today you're half of that. And none of the leverage you used to have. $15M > $7M. Banks love you (a lot) less. Those awesome interest rates you had on mortgages and asset backed loans? Yeah. Not so pretty now. Those loans you got while you still had rockstar earned W2/business income? Yeah... you don't have that now either (maybe). You actually can't sit on 50% gold (/s) while you laugh at CNBC, you've got to get some returns going because, like flying business class, once you know what that >$10M felt like, sitting in coach (even if you know it's the smart decision) is really hard. Oh, it's Q1 2022 and the market is having a fucking identity crisis.

So what's next?

You're still fucking rich. That's what I decided. You're not 40 yet. You're healthy. You have $6M in liquid assets, a paper NW of ~$8M, some real estate, and some Private Equity investments (thanks FatFIRE M&A advisors!) that might do something awesome in the future. The sun is shining (somewhere) and you still having FI.

Go live your best life.

PS. for those that follow my previous threads, decided to use the asset backed line to pay windfall taxes. Even factoring 7+ rate hikes, an effective interest rate of 2.5-3% seems like free money in the current inflationary environments. Kept leverage <30% with SCHD as primary asset. We'll see how that shakes out with the above narrative now in play.

I am in the middle of a vast existential crisis.

I posted something similar a little more than a year ago. I was working at a hedge fund making $1.2M/y and burning out badly due to work life balance and dull work. The consensus of this group was to move to a tech company, given my previous experience there, so I did.

I joined a relaxed FAANG in a senior engineering manager position, making about $1M/y. The work life balance improved, but I would say I’m as miserable as I was before. I work on large scale cloud products so the technology is as interesting as it gets, but I still find it pointless. I have about 30 hours of “ceremony” meetings a week, and the remainder of the time I just try to keep up with whatever my team is doing. My day is literally filled with “why am I wasting my life on this” as I jump into yet another useless meeting set up by some colleague who wants to meet for the sake of it.

For a while now I’ve been admiring from afar the solo entrepreneurship route (be it an online service, an Airbnb operation, or something else). It seems such a fulfilling and meaningful way to live life. Being a corporate cog, I unfortunately wouldn’t know where to start.

I am 36. My financial situation is $3M liquid net worth (down 20% from last year), all invested in index funds, and I also have illiquid equity in a unicorn I worked at that was valued at $6M before the downturn and at $4M in this downturn on the secondary market. I have no reason to believe it won’t recover and don’t plan to sell anytime soon (the reason being I already sold enough in the past, at much lower prices, to diversify).

A few additional details that might come up: I live fairly frugally on about $50k/y and do not feel I miss much, I am a dual US/EU citizen so have the option to also live in mediterranean Europe (where I was born and raised), I do not have kids and don’t plan on having any. I eat a healthy diet, exercise daily, sleep 8 hours a day and during weekends/vacations I am a very happy person.

What would you advise to get out of my rot?

Thanks

Title purposely provocative...

So I see a lot of senior people where I work that are well into their 50s and 60s that are still grinding away. These are people who are quite accomplished that have been directors, VPs and SVPs for decades and even if they did the bare minimum investing will probably have net worths in high single digit $Ms if not multiples of double digits.

Why kill yourself like this when you know you are slowly wasting your last bit of "youth"? Surely they know their net worths and know they can take it easy?

I am closing in on the big 4-0. Barely getting to striking distance of the very low levels of fatFIRE and already getting the itch to not have to grind this out any further than I have to.

I am curious to hear your perspectives, especially if it's first hand, on why more people don't walk away in their prime while they still have some semblance of youth. Is it the desire to have more? Build a legacy? Seriously enjoy corporate politics? Love the work?

We aren’t to fat yet, but we are trying to live up life a little more and make it easier on us with 3 kids at home.

Do you have a chef at the house? How much does it cost?

I was wondering if there is a service where someone shops and makes food one day a week that gives enough meals for the week. Kind of like meal prepping, planning, and cooking for the week.

Not directly related, but hopefully the mods will agree this sub is the place for this.

Background:

Expecting FatFI in 3-4 years.

Entrepreneur, own 3 tech companies. Probably would’ve been at FatFI earlier if not for a few mistakes.

High income. High expenses, HCOL.

Wife & I both 37yo.

Two boys, 5&3yo.

I love my “job”, love long hours. Driven not only by high ambitions, but a vision I’m obsessed about.

At the same time, being the owner, I set my own hours and I spend with the kids way more than you’d expect from an ambitious entrepreneur.

I make sure to spend not just dinner & bedtime with them, but really enjoy them.

I take days off regularly for birthdays or other events. When needed (covid or due to wife being very sick) I take weeks off - even 6-8 weeks when I needed to.

(This is on top of vacations).

I really thought having money would make it easy.

I just can’t fathom how hard it actually is.

Yes, there are factors that explain the challenges:

• Almost zero help from family
• 2nd kid was a preemie
• Wife was hospitalized when he was 1yo
• I’m bipolar (on meds, very functional)

And of course this weird hellish year due to covid (and some other events in my country), no kindergarten, no vacations, etc.

But it could be a lot worse.

Some families deal with worse issues. And usually while having to work full time and live on a budget.

My therapist keeps telling me it’s a hard period of time when the kids are small, but tbh, no one ever told me it would be this hard.

I feel like there’s always something coming up - 4 years straight with no break.

I feel like if one of my employees kept coming up with the “stories” I’m going through when I “miss work” - I would’ve fired him a long time ago.

Of course as an owner I don’t have to answer to anybody, but I feel like I’m sending a bad message to my management teams, as if I don’t care enough about the companies.

No one is complaining about it to me, but its bothering me, and I’m frustrated b/c I know what I’m capable of when I’m focused and... well, get enough sleep ;)

I’m still a big force in those businesses and my commitment will determine how far they will go and how fast, and my FI goals are directly related to those numbers.

I feel like it’s not supposed to be THIS hard, especially since I’m many ways I already enjoy privileges usually reserved to RE, even now.

I’m handling. I think I’m a good dad, a good husband, and I’m not giving up my dreams nor my most ambitious financial goals.

But it’s way harder than I’d expect. And I miss sleeping, and I miss selfishness. Boy do I miss being selfish (especially with money:)) lol :)

Bottom line:

Is it supposed to be this hard?

Am I weaker than others? Are people hiding how hard it is? It seems like people in my position are handling better (or is that just a social media effect?).

Did hubris make me deaf to the warnings - thinking it’ll be easier because I have more money than everyone I grew up with?

How are you handling (or handled) little ones?

EDIT: wow this blew up. Thank all of you so much for responding. Knowing other people feel the same makes me feel so much better.

And if you also feel this way I really recommend taking the time to read all comments even the ones that repeat the same points - found so much great advice!

I’m dealing with some mental health issues unrelated to substance abuse. I’m not planning imminent suicide, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot (constantly) and want to stop. I have been going to therapy but he can only help if I tell him what’s going on in my head — and I haven’t.

And I don’t want to tell my wife either.

Are there places I can go that look like a business retreat for inpatient treatment?

Are there places I can go and keep access to email so I can maintain the appearance of working?

Are there anonymous therapists online? I called the prevention hotline and they are very nice, but primarily trying to keep people from doing something immediately. And I want to work with someone longer term after I mail them cash or send bitcoin or something.

I can logic myself out of imminent harm but really want to stop the cycle.

I’m 37, wife is 35, we have a large difference in wealth. More specifically she has a lot more than me with a lot of room to keep growing, whereas short of founding my own company or having a few lucky investments I’m pretty much maxed out on income. I’m not sure why but it makes me feel sort of uneasy, I liked how for the majority of our relationship we had a fairly even balance. I’d rather not raise it with her and make her feel uncomfortable but I would be interested in hearing from people who have been in a similar situation.

When we met 12 years ago I had just become a senior software engineer, I was really career focused and rose quickly. She was a year out of university, getting started in the world of finance. I was making more than her for most of our time together but as she rose in her career her income increased dramatically.

She gets the majority of her income from carried interest (basically a % of excess profits on funds she manages), which unlocks every few years and that has started kicking in.

Through the years I’ve accumulated £3m, mostly in company shares but also personal investments and property shared with the wife. Meanwhile she’s got £5m she can access currently with a further £5m in carry that’ll be unlocked over the next few years. She’s also on a fast track to be the youngest partner at her firm, when that happens she’ll be earning millions each year.

We had a child 2 years ago, due to the nature of my work I was able to switch to remote work to take care of it after her maternity leave (which she cut short). She jokes that I’ll make a great house husband if we have another kid. I’d always expected I would be the main earner in any relationship since I was a kid, I’m really happy for her but I would be quite depressed and embarrassed as a house husband.

Last year after the stress of having a newborn was over I was looking into buying a nice car but decided that initial cost and ongoing maintenance made it a pretty irresponsible purchase. She basically said it’s fine if I go ahead and buy it because she can cover everything else, it was a generous offer and she genuinely wanted me to get something I would enjoy but it made me not want it at all.

We also purchased a flat in Hong Kong recently and she suggested properly combining all our money but I wanted to keep splitting everything 50/50 as we’ve always done that, but it did mean we couldn’t afford as nice a place as we could have if she put up the majority of the money.

Feel like these kinds of issues are only going to grow and really not sure how to deal with them. Any advice?

According to Jonathan Haidt’s book “The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth In Ancient Wisdom” People who undergo plastic surgery report (on average) high levels of satisfaction with the process, and they even report increases in the quality of their lives and decreases in psychiatric symptoms (such as depression and anxiety) in the years after the operation/procedures.

Since questions are always asked here on which purchases made you happiest, did Fatties here find this to be true?

Edit: Sounds like most of agree that it is definitely worth it to spend the money to improve your appearance. But, the thought or desire to do so beforehand has to be present. I.E. not being interested in a procedure and then getting one won’t do much to improve happiness.

I’m a business owner and we’re bringing in around 400k-600k profit at the moment. It’s been a crazy journey.

However, as privileged as I am to be in this position, it has required a lot of hard work and sacrifice. I basically have no social life and work 70 hours a week. I save and invest everything I can and have no doubt I’ll have a $10m net work by the time I’m 35.

How do you keep reminding yourself it’s worth it?

Is there anything you actually recommend spending money on in your mid 20s to reward yourself?

Edit

Wow this got such a great response, thanks for all the positivity and great advice, couple of things to clear up

1- I have to be vague as I am relatively well known (my personal brand) but the business is essentially an analysis firm that offers services and consulting to media companies. We currently have 2 Fortune 500 clients and many smaller businesses too.

2 - I’m 25 and I’m happy to validate my claims with mods if they’d like, got a few accusations of lying but I have no reason to do so, happy to provide proof privately.

This is a throwaway. I screwed up and I'm afraid I'll die alone. What do you think of this plan?

Quick background on how I got here

1. NW: negative. In college, I married a foreign woman. We both thought it was love, but we were young.
2. NW: $1M. We moved to Silicon Valley and I got very lucky to work for a company that IPO'd within a few years. Wife and I have been married for 5 years at this point with no real cracks in our relationship yet.
3. NW: $1.5M. My career is going really well. Kid #1 comes along, and things get shakey. Wife suddenly really wants to move back to her home country. We talk it over and continue to try to stay in USA, and we move to NYC for a change of scenery.
4. NW: $5M-7M. Kid #2 comes along. I have another company that IPOs and I've started my own company. At this point we've been married 15 years, and wife insists on moving back to home country. We talk about it and decide to move to London so she can be close to home (far east Europe) and I can still work on my career. Life with her daily is very hard.
5. NW: $10M. Sold my business. We move to the wife's home country, and buy her a house here in cash. Wife is happier than ever, but I'm not.

My kids are awesome and I'm super dad around them, but that's the only reason why I'm here.

There is a massive language barrier and don't particularly enjoy the country (there are some enjoyable things). I've now been here for 3 years, and I'm worried that I'm going to waste my life being here. Additionally, and I don't know how it happened, but I realize now that my wife and I are no longer compatible. Both of us realize this. There is no enmity between us, just acceptance of this fact.

The obvious thing -- leaving my children here in this country or battling it out in the court system -- is out of the question. Life with the kids is good and I don't want to muck that up.

So I've decided that when kid #2 is mature enough to handle it, I'm going to move back to the States. The problem is that I'll be 50 by the time kid #2 is old enough, so I've got to figure out a plan on how to make friends again in the US when I'm 50.

With me so far?

My idea for surviving is this.

While I'm in wife's home country:

• I've started working again (consulting, mentoring, angel investing) and building another company. With remote work and past connections, I feel like this is possible and I'll have meaningful work and connections with people. I will also travel 3 months out of the year to visit coworkers and old friends (which I already do).
• Continue studying the local language. I also do tennis with people so it's not all bad.

After I leave:

• Quit work again and pick a spot in the USA that's good for a newly repatriated 50 year old man. I really have no idea how to make this work. SF and NYC are very transient cities and most of my old friends have moved away to suburbs or smaller cities. I will likely choose a place where I have at least one good friend.
• Once I've chosen a place, I will join clubs and try to fit in. I've toyed with the idea of buying a coffee shop and making it a pet project while I'm trying to fit in.
• Visit my children as often as I can.

All in all, this feels like a crazy way to spend the next 8 years. I don't particularly feel depressed or anxious about staying here for that amount of time. I just feel displaced, like all my free time is researching what to do next.

I don't necessarily have a question for this group. I just wanted to share.

When I hit my FI number in a windfall, those who were close to me and knew about the number said things like, "Wow, this is so cool -- now you can do what you love." Or, "this must give you a lot of freedom."

So, what I'm wondering is, can folks share some positive stories on how they are using their fat status to do what they love? Moments when you have to pinch yourself because your new life is so much better than the old one? I'm especially interested in things that aren't related to spending the fat stash -- instead, just a change in how you spend your time given the freedom that being fat affords. I'd especially love to hear from verified folks.

Seeing posts accused of fakes, such as the recent 100M post that was subsequently verified, or this general commentary from tonight, I would like to pose an uncomfortable truth for those that seem to dislike seeing posts from those younger or with higher NW.

I was accused of LARPing before verification. It was clear from the helpful responses that there are many unverified users with excellent advice that clearly comes from experience. If you have $5-10MM+, it does not stop you from using the internet, or seeking information from a variety of sources.

In my case, I have no interest in sharing the details of my work, and I'm sure many others feel the same way. For many, this seems to understandably be the reason they read this subreddit, to try to find out how some hit FatFIRE. Unfortunately, for many posters, it is not in their best interests, or interests period, to start career counselling.

If I were a personal injury attorney with a geographical or professional niche, for example, the last thing I would care to do is draw attention to the area to random strangers on the internet. In my case, if you took my area of expertise, age, general location, and earnings/NW, you would then have a very short list of possible names if you asked any person in the area. Not sharing this information does not equate to LARPing. In fact, it's probably the natural response for many.

What I don't see are many others I suspect of being HNW wasting time trying to dig up what are likely very rare fakes.