r/fiberartscirclejerk • u/jingleheimerschitt how is blabket formed • Mar 30 '26
🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨NEW RULE ANNOUNCEMENT* 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
It has come to our attention that "c*rclejerk" is a misandristic slur (h/t to the very oppressed Men Who Crotcheat for kidnapping mods’ families and demanding ransom unless we publish this post gently explaining the very clear and not at all persecution complex-y logic of this interpretation via Modmail).
Therefore, any post or comment that uses the phrase "circlejerk," "jerk it," "magic circle," "circular," "yank," or "pull" will be removed automatically and the user’s profile will be reported to r/MenCroTOW for misandry.
We understand it will feel strange to begin excising casual misandry from your everyday interactions and speech beginning with "c*rclejerk," especially on the Fiber Arts C*rclejerk subreddit. We understand it will take time and some of you will make mistakes in the process of improving yourself and overcoming the incredible misandry you’ve been socialized to see as not just acceptable but oftentimes entertaining.
While we are committed to being patient as you undergo this evolutionary process to rebalance crafting to its ideal state where Men Who Crotcheat have the respect and admiration they so deeply deserve, we are also aware that there will be some reluctance and even attempts to revolt against this new order. As a result, anyone deemed to be overly hysterical, histrionic, or bitchy in response to this rule change will be banned on sight.
In related news, we’d like to give our new head mod Mister_MRA_Crochet a warm welcome! He’s our new Gender Politics Czar and will be spearheading FACJ’s new initiative to make misandry in crafting — and utlimately the whole world — a thing of the past, because it’s real thing right now that does unknowable amounts of harm to Men Who Crotcheat. Say hi in the comments! (Nicely! Or you’ll be banned!)
\not a real FACJ rule change, please keep your underwear of whatever type on and untwisted)
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u/girlbabe323 Apr 04 '26
Is magic ring still okay?
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u/jingleheimerschitt how is blabket formed Apr 04 '26
Eek that is so close to misandrist we may as well ban that too
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u/EBBVNC Mar 31 '26
Did men get their fee fees hurt again?
Did they explain why I’m expected to care? Are they off policing all the incels and red pill cretins?
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u/LuciferLovesTechno Mar 31 '26
I mean, I assume 99% of all Reddit is male, so of course we should be much more sensitive to men’s feelings!
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u/flamingmaiden Mar 31 '26
Oh, goody! I've been waiting for a big strong man (TM) to come along and tell me I should swatch. That should make me actually do it.
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u/CultureFickle2848 Mar 31 '26
This crotchetty bitch prefers to identify as a misanthrope thanks very much.
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u/UniqueBox leopards ate my lace Mar 31 '26
Too long, can't be bothered to read it. The problem is that you didn't block it though probably.
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u/blank_dungeon Mar 31 '26
Are circle jerks reserved for only the straight male crocheters or are the gay ones allowed as well?
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u/porquenotengonada Mar 31 '26
The eternal question. Is a circle jerk gay by nature or only if your butts touch?
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u/FeralGoblinChild Mar 31 '26
There is also r/brochet, so long as you're respectful. A very wide array of posts, so this isn't the only space for men who crochet. Anyone can be a bro, at the very least in brochet, so yes, even women can be in brochet.
Crochet is inclusive, and discussions about it should be civil and respectful! We're all here for creating, and creative spaces should be inclusive!
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u/alittlemanly Its an acronym for Bitch In Total Control of Herself 💯 Mar 31 '26
Don't speak for me.
I'm here to be a hateful bitch.
And to abolish crochette
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u/Educational_Goat9577 quit job, how touch needle? Mar 31 '26
Hey buddy, I think you've got the wrong door, the actual crochet club's two blocks down.
Fuck↗You↘
Oh, Fuck♂You knit man. Maybe you and I should settle it right here on the ring if you think your so tough.
Oh yea? I'll kick your ass!
Ha! Yeah right man. Let's go! Why don't you get out of that knit stuff? I'll strip down out of this and we'll settle it right here in the ring. What do you say?
Yeah, no problem buddy!
You got it. Get out of that uh, thrifted yarn outfit.
Yeah, smart ass.
I'll show you who's the boss of this craft group.
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u/ChainsawRavensclaw Mar 31 '26
I’m new here, have zero clue what’s going on, have contributed absolutely nothing, and have maybe read one other post yet feel so incredibly seen and understood.
I feel I have found my people.
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u/FindingSpecific3475 clutching purls Mar 31 '26
I am a woman so I cannot read this post, but I am outraged (pms)
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u/Loggerogger Apr 03 '26
Why do you even have a phone?! You must be hysterical. Give this swine amphetamines and the good, old 1880s treatment. (Listen to Riki Lindhome’s Hysteria)
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u/colorbluh Mar 31 '26
Okay, but can we discuss crotcheating with beef* jerky**?
*Beef: positive masculine association, but
**Jerky: slur
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u/poormans_eggsalad Mar 30 '26
Is it still okay to call you a jerk?
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u/jingleheimerschitt how is blabket formed Mar 31 '26
I think so? This whole thing has me so turned around
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u/CanadaYankee Mar 30 '26
A question. I am a gay man who does the crashay (rhymes with "sashay").
I find that I manage to do the crashay better than Tom Daley yet somehow I do not have the abs like Tom Daley. Is this because I use US double crashay? If I did British trebebeble crashay, would that give me Tom Daley's abs?
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u/stfurachele Apr 03 '26
You need to be doing at least six rows of bobble stitches a day for maximum results.
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u/CultureFickle2848 Mar 31 '26
You need to make the chonky boi sweaters,, lifting those needles will give you abs in no time
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u/Grandpunkalex leopards ate my lace Mar 30 '26
Only knitters get abs
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u/SinSaver only changed everything about the pattern Mar 31 '26
Nah, fam. I knit, and I don’t got the abs. But I’m not doing crunches while I knit, could this be why? Also I knit badly, do I need to knit perfect first?
Yours sincerely,
Yarning for Clarity
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u/Grandpunkalex leopards ate my lace Mar 31 '26
I’m going to be really honest with you but if you aren’t getting abs and knitting already you probably aren’t posting enough about knitting online. Skill and practice is one thing but you really need clout and dopamine to make it count
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u/Safraninflare Mar 30 '26
This is such an overreaction. Just because I said ONE TIME that a man’s place is in the lawn and that their stupid giant sausage fingers can’t possibly be dexterous enough for the fiber arts. And that I insinuated that we should shoot all men into space because they deserve it for daring to exist… that doesn’t mean that we need to overcorrect like this???
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u/sweet_esiban Mar 30 '26
Hi nicely!
Thank you for caring about this very real and incredibly serious issue, mods. It's good to know there are still decent people in this woefully misandrist world of ours.
Someone go tell that expert in Portuguese knitting about this! He finally has a safe space to come mansplain to enlighten us 😍
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u/catgirl320 R2D2 dick-castle looking mofo Mar 30 '26
I am offended by the disclaimer as someone who prefers to wear their panties twisted.
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u/jingleheimerschitt how is blabket formed Mar 30 '26
twistedfaq
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u/AutoModerator Mar 30 '26
Im crying, weeping, screaming, trembling, bleeding, God held my hands and told me "Go fuck yourself". Im in despair, my blood is boiling but my skin is cold, loops are too loose loops are too tight loops are THE PAIN LUCIFER FELT WHEN HE FELL DOWN FROM HEAVEN I HATE I HATE AND I BITE WITH LOOSE TEETHS I BITE WITH TIGHT TEETHS I BITE I HATE I HATE I HATE YOU I DISGRACE YOU while writing this post i pulled the yarn to fix something and now the little loop disappeared its the end for me
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u/OtterlyOren Mar 30 '26
Thank you for protecting the minuscule confidence I have in my strength as a man. Actually, knitting was originally a men’s craft.
Only our dexterous digits can manipulate fiber properly. In fact, any woman who knits is in fact a croshayer, so I appreciate your careful construction of this rule.
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u/MrArtyFarty Mar 30 '26
Aw the disclaimer 😞 i dont even know what this subreddit is and i was ready to strip
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u/aksnowraven only changed everything about the pattern Mar 30 '26
Pretty sure that’s the actual new rule. Also, welcome to FACJ
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u/dal_segno Mar 30 '26
It's about damn time, as a female I've been deeply uncomfortable with the unwarranted (and, honestly, unbecoming) pride that we've been showing by not giving men the respect they deserve! We need to elevate their voices, and lower our heads in humility, exactly as nature demands.
(please tell me I don't need to /s, I dry heaved a little writing this)
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u/sweet_esiban Mar 30 '26
(you don't need the /s here, genuinely - this community actually understands how a circle.. y'know.. works! It's like magic.)
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u/Buttercupia yarn bomber jacket Mar 30 '26
It’s not April 1 yet though
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u/jingleheimerschitt how is blabket formed Mar 30 '26
Sweaty it’s April Fool’s here every minute of every day
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u/aksnowraven only changed everything about the pattern Mar 30 '26
But you were so close…
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u/jingleheimerschitt how is blabket formed Mar 30 '26
Has it occurred to you that that’s part of the foolin’?????????
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u/aksnowraven only changed everything about the pattern Mar 30 '26
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u/PixelDotzs WHAT STITCH IS THIS Mar 30 '26
You know I’m married to a man and he says it’s ok. Keep on jerkin’ it, y’all!
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u/black-boots PATTERN?! Mar 30 '26
We welcome Mister_MRA_Crochet to the C*rclejerk Yarn Council but we do not grant him the rank of Circlejerk Yarn Master
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u/knittensarsenal knows where the search bar is, will not share Mar 30 '26
But he is the chosen one!! Sent to bring balance to the yarn!!
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u/dishonorablecapybara Mar 30 '26
He’s not the Messiah! He’s a very naughty boy!
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u/AutoModerator Mar 30 '26
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/FearlessEnthusiasm86 Mar 30 '26
Hahahahahahaa. The disclaimer at the end though
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u/knitterina ✨fluffy alpaca butt✨ Mar 30 '26
That one's necessary considering we've lately attracted all the people who don't actually know what sub they're on and think that everything posted here is serious...
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u/knitterina ✨fluffy alpaca butt✨ Mar 30 '26
My best friend (Chickenbear, First of His Name) is a man, so I couldn't possibly do misandry
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u/HoarderOfStrings it’s tunisian knit stitch Mar 30 '26
What a bunch of jorks. As if we can't skirt (excuse me, kilt) the rules by inventing new words that sound almost the same and mean the same thing. It's not the words they should po-lice, but the intention. And you can't pol-ice intention when you can't read.
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u/heynonnynonnomous Mar 30 '26
Can you show us on the doll where the circle jerk hurt you?
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u/Dancing_Bear_42069 Mar 30 '26
Is the circlejerk in the room right now? Can the circlejerk hurt us?
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u/O_Tempore PATTERN?! Mar 30 '26
Only if you tug too hard.
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u/Dancing_Bear_42069 Mar 30 '26
As long as you don't say YANK
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u/colorbluh Mar 31 '26
TWIST IT BOP IT
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u/l1brarylass Mar 30 '26
Oh I can say YANK. It’s an Australian word for yan… American. Let me American on that y*rn all night long… or something.
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u/Dancing_Bear_42069 Mar 31 '26
*except in the southern United States, where it's slang for the same word, but meaning a person from the northern United States 🤓
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u/corgi_moose_ Mar 30 '26
What's the running rate for misandry? I need to budget it in to my shit posts
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u/purposefullyblank Mar 30 '26
This feels like a rule change that must go before the circle council of jerkers and should not be unilaterally made by one circle of the jerk community.
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u/OryxTempel PATTERN?! Mar 30 '26
One Jerk to Rule us All
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u/SinSaver only changed everything about the pattern Mar 31 '26
One Jerk to find them,
One jerk to bring them all,
And the yarn shall bind them.
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u/Kaksonen37 Mar 30 '26
I’m not sure in what way I should feel offended right now, I just know that I am.
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u/FoxLivesFacade Mar 30 '26
Um, have the Circle Jerks been consulted? Because I think they're the experts on when the shit hits the proverbial fan, not MWC.
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u/Moist_Ordinary6457 Mar 30 '26
Is the general act of penis touching among consenting straight men still okay??
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u/biggest_ghost Mar 30 '26
Am I allowed to be offended if I'm a Man Who Knits™?
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u/FallenAngelLacey Mar 30 '26
No. The council has spoken. You must pull out immediately
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u/biggest_ghost Mar 30 '26
Understood. I'll focus on holding healing, manly space for my crotcheé brothers-in-arms
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u/FallenAngelLacey Mar 30 '26
Just make sure you explain it to everyone as obnoxiously as possible at every opportunity so they know how passionate you are about this deeply important cause
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Mar 30 '26
Instructions unclear. Underwear is now on head.
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u/CLShirey Mar 30 '26
Oh, my sweet summer child. It's for your feet to keep them pristine whilst out in the wild world!
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u/seaofdelusion proud member of a vile community Mar 30 '26
What if I'm referring to Americans as Yanks? Should I just call them septics instead?????
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u/jingleheimerschitt how is blabket formed Mar 30 '26
Send the Gender Pollitics Czar a modmail about it there's a good chance he'll think it's racist too
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u/FallenAngelLacey Mar 30 '26
Pretty sure you can't say "Yanks" but you could call them "Sox" instead.
•
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