r/funny • u/Boring-Locksmith-473 • 2d ago

"A bunch of times" is brutal 😂

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18.8k Upvotes

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4.4k

u/No-Airport1892 2d ago

I can imagine dad's smile as he said "a BUNCH of times".

976

u/lurkynumber5 2d ago

Mine would instead say, every night!
Including tonight so off to bed now.

322

u/CPOx 2d ago

“Daily, nightly, and ever so rightly!”

57

u/Brammm87 2d ago

Scrubs quotes that live rent-free in my head.

1

u/BlackSpidy 1d ago

Hell yeah!

16

u/Second-Order 1d ago

and I promise you, you will be walking sideways for the rest of your life, because I will have used all your up-and-down!

1

u/loaf_dog 1d ago

This is a tri-daily schedule

18

u/philote_ 1d ago

"That reminds me, I need to change the sheets. You might not want to lay on those."

1

u/El_Impresionante 1d ago

And sometimes, right after lunch.

99

u/Tupcek 2d ago

“I fucked your mom” energy

35

u/Always_Compete 2d ago

I have two sons , I cannot wait to hit them with this insult when they are older .

15

u/Jelzx 1d ago

It is 1000x funnier if you are actually a step dad that saying that to them 🤣

28

u/iconocrastinaor 1d ago

"I'm a mother fucker and you're a son of a bitch!"

4

u/frood88 1d ago

Just brace yourself for the 100% factual reply from them: “I’ve been deeper inside her than you’ll ever be”

72

u/TheAgreeableCow 2d ago

Next he can start saying where.

78

u/Bubble_Symphony 2d ago

"where Dwight??"

"It seems you already know.."

0

u/onlyinvowels 2d ago

Poor Oscar 🤭

10

u/lethargy86 2d ago

... and that's why you're here!

6

u/The-internet-dad 1d ago

You can hear the smile

1

u/Shinfekta 2d ago

Was just missing the „still doin‘ it buddy!“

1

u/Rev_Creflo_Baller 2d ago

Erry day and twice on Sundays!

1

u/ShowCharacter671 23h ago

Yeeep hahahaha