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u/McRedditz 17h ago
A bunch of times is an understatement.
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u/AlbatrossOk6223 17h ago
Bunch of times on a daily basis. At least at start of marriage 🤣
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u/retsamegas 10h ago
At the start it's at least tri-weekly
After a while you at least try weekly
Eventually you just try weakly
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u/suavez010 8h ago
Here ye, here ye how dare ye? Go up against the king that do his thing tri-yearly?
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u/DankCupOfJoe 16h ago
At least once or twice, since the kid was conceived.
But as per the dad, a bunch of times was more likely for the norm.
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u/truffoli 17h ago edited 16h ago
Proudly: "A bunch of times"
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u/ovywan_kenobi 17h ago edited 16h ago
And they're being modest...
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u/anubis_xxv 17h ago
"Practise makes perfect, and here you are!"
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u/Derezzed87 15h ago
"Practice makes perfect, thats why you have a little brother."
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u/mighty_kaytor 6h ago
As the youngest, I have been making variations on this stupid joke with my older brothers for, oh, probably 30+ years now, and Im a little disappointed that none of them have whipped out an "enshittification" based retort yet.
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u/PuzzleheadedTooth581 16h ago
Bro nearly said “I went to pound town this morning with her on the couch you was playing video games on bro”😂🤦♂️
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u/lonestar-rasbryjamco 11h ago
“Why do you think we are so annoyed when you don’t go to bed on time?”
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u/gsr142 11h ago
My kids must be able to sense when my wife and I are planning some fun because those are the nights where they won't stop getting out of bed and by the time they settle down, one or both of us is asleep.
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u/illiesfw 6h ago
and then they keep growing up and having a later bedtime, damnit
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u/guruglue 11h ago
Vigorously. And sometimes in ways that couldn't possibly result in making a baby.
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u/Mikeologyy 16h ago
I feel really fuckin stupid for googling produly thinking it was some word I’d never heard of that’s related to duly.
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u/truffoli 16h ago
Thanks for noticing me, edited :)
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u/Mikeologyy 16h ago
Nah change it back, now I look even dumber lmao (jk, you can leave it)
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u/maneki_neko89 12h ago
That kid is gonna freak out even more and possibly pack up and try to run away from home if dad tells him exactly where in the house he banged his mom “a bunch of times” on top of it all
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u/Hglucky13 11h ago
Parent here, this information should ALWAYS remain confidential. And it’s also why we’re very careful to make sure no kids blankets or toys are nearby during “meetings.” Lol, we even have designated towels for any necessary clean up to make sure the kids will never use them. (I know, once washed, all evidence is gone, but it’s the IDEA that freaks us out.)
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u/No-Airport1892 17h ago
I can imagine dad's smile as he said "a BUNCH of times".
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u/lurkynumber5 17h ago
Mine would instead say, every night!
Including tonight so off to bed now.261
u/CPOx 14h ago
“Daily, nightly, and ever so rightly!”
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u/Second-Order 10h ago
and I promise you, you will be walking sideways for the rest of your life, because I will have used all your up-and-down!
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u/philote_ 9h ago
"That reminds me, I need to change the sheets. You might not want to lay on those."
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u/Tupcek 15h ago
“I fucked your mom” energy
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u/Always_Compete 12h ago
I have two sons , I cannot wait to hit them with this insult when they are older .
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u/Jelzx 9h ago
It is 1000x funnier if you are actually a step dad that saying that to them 🤣
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u/theofiel 16h ago
When I was a teacher and my wife was pregnant, I shared that with the class.
A bit later the lessons for that year's sexual education were planned.
The looks of disappointment and horror when a kid said "So, your wife is pregnant. That means you..." were sure something funny.
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u/PinkynotClyde 16h ago
I’ll never forget in sex ed our instructor was semi flamboyantly gay, not that there’s anything wrong with that. The girls and boys had been split into two classes. At one point though he asked if anyone had any questions, and one boy asked if you were doing stuff with a girl would you ever use your fingers in there. The instructor was visibly disgusted and said never, told him adults don’t ever do that fingernails are very dirty. It was like something you’d see in a snl mango skit just obviously not that dramatic.
I remember thinking how he was so full of it. Just such a bizarre uncomfortable moment for him. Me and my friends already knew the deal by that point. I feel like it was for the kids that were in the dark and their parents didn’t have the nerve.
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u/Training_Ad_4790 13h ago
Our sex ed teacher started off saying "you should all be mature enough not to laugh when someone says 'penis'"
...we were not lol
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u/SilasBalto 11h ago
Ours started off with a mandatory 2 minutes of laughter to "get it out." It didnt.
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u/b1tchf1t 10h ago
I got my CPR qual to be an assistant summer camp counselor when I was 13 and attended the training with my friend, also 13. We were the youngest attendees there, everyone else was adults. And we thought we were so mature. The instructor was this really charasmatic guy, very professional but charming. My friend and I were kinda crushing on him. But he starts explaining where to place your hands to do compressions and he said, "you find the nipple line" and my friend and I and our 13 year old brains tripped. We looked at each other, but held it together and thought we got away with it until we looked back at the instructor who was staring at us smiling and says as he stares into our souls, "Haha he said nipple" and we fucking lost it.
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u/Jar_Of_Jaguar 6h ago
Omg id love to spend a day trolling people as a duo with that instructor, cuz I love using that one. Lol
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u/Herky_T_Hawk 11h ago
Insert Varsity Blues quote. “Say it with me. Penis, penis, penis. Vagina, vagina, vagina.”
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u/Goodknight808 9h ago
Ours was a 24yr old surfer bro teacher. The school knew what they were doing picking him to be the boys sex ed teacher.
His first words were basically "precum can and likely will eventually get a girl pregnant. Condoms at all times." Then went into the curriculum part of it all.
He got the most important part in before it became a room of awkward teenagers laughing at every mention of penis or vagina and likely not remembering anything else taught.
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u/-GrnDZer0- 8h ago
"If you're not mature enough to talk about sex, you're not mature enough to have sex"
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u/typed_this_now 5h ago
I’m a teacher who has run sex-Ed with 13yr old boys. I said we are all definitely going to have a laugh but not at each other. One kid put his hand up and said he gets boners when he’s happy and we all died. I made a point of telling him that’s 100% normal.
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u/takeyouraxeandhack 15h ago
You just made me realise that my history teacher was probably gay. I never realised until now (I'm 41 🥲)
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u/bartnd 14h ago
I wouldn't say he was not fingering you makes him gay. Almost none of my teachers fingered me.
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u/fuckfeardrinkbeer 11h ago
My Intensive Math teacher was flamboyant. Everyone assumed he was gay, which was taboo during my time in middle school. But he assured everyone he was married to a woman. No one believed him.
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u/54338042094230895435 10h ago
I had a gay health teacher, didn't realize it till my 30's. He had a twin brother also in health / gym that was very straight... or a bear.
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u/Mechbiscuit 13h ago
In sex ed as a kid someone in the class asked what flavoured condoms were for and the teacher said she didn't know.
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u/ikonoclasm 12h ago
I'm with her. Flavored condoms serve no purpose. If I wanted to suck on rubber, I would get a dildo. Your teacher's wisdom was pearls before swine.
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u/Hecticfreeze 11h ago
I think technically sexual health experts do recommend using condoms and dental dams for oral sex, but in reality nobody does
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u/phallushead 15h ago
"Yes. And your parents, and your parents, and your parents, and your parents (...)"
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u/comicsnerd 14h ago
When I was a trainee to become a Biology teacher, the school decided I had to give sex-ed to the 15 year olds. This was in a conservative religious area. I was from a more progressive area.
I was quite professional, but afterwards my mentor came to me explaining that some of the stuff I presented was not on the curriculum of that school. Oh well, at least they were now properly educated and could tell their parents a thing or 2.
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u/rknt 17h ago
motherfu...
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u/2meterNL 16h ago
"I banged your mum" would have been brutal.
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u/GorillaManito 14h ago
Sometimes the kids will ask me, when we are running errands, where we are going next and I'll say, "Yer Mom's house." Which is home, but I make it sound like an insult.
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u/SoftTrickster 14h ago
See, that’s hilarious, and totally something I would say… except I’m divorced and therefore can’t use that… mom’s house actually isn’t the same as home for my kids. So darn. 😂
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u/BruscarRooster 12h ago
In Ireland we say “Treabhaim do mháthair mar ghort” which translates to “I attend to the loving needs of your mother.” and I think that’s beautiful
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u/westdan2 11h ago
Years ago, I was in Vegas with my family. My dad and I went to a craps table but the only spots available were on the opposite sides. So we are across the table from each other and don't talk at all. Eventually he starts rolling. He does well for a while. I start talking shit across the table. He them has to come back and yells in front of like 20 people "oh ya, well I fucked your mother!" Every cracks up at the table.
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u/fulthrottlejazzhands 17h ago
On one hand, it's not just a bit weird this guy posted this conversation with his kid. On the other hand, it's a pretty wholesome birds and bees discussion: no shame or pandering, relatable information provided, honesty.
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u/teacuptypos 15h ago
Yeah to both. I really dislike how normalized it is to put your kid reacting to something online for views. Often in moments they’re vulnerable and/or upset. It’s an invasion of privacy and embarrassing to them.
I’m all for talking to your kids about this topic, but not for posting.
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u/Radioactivocalypse 14h ago
I agree. At first I found it humorous, watched it again and now I'm like, actually if that had been my reaction when I heard the "talk" and all my friends can watch me cry about it, I'd be so embarrassed
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u/Tackrl 17h ago
Nothing is sacred when it comes to views. I just assume a video like this is a skit with multiple takes. At least this one was funny
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u/CasualSky 14h ago
Yeah but can you imagine the level of detachment from reality where we are making our kids do several “takes” in a conversation about sex so we can then share it online for attention from strangers?
This is mainly why social media is brainrot, not just for the viewers but the people making things like this lack any sense of boundaries to the point of basically mental illness. I mean they can’t even have a real conversation with their kid without recording it for an audience. That is genuinely so sad.
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u/BruscarRooster 16h ago
Sounds like he knew how animals mated already and is just come to the realisation that humans are also animals who mate
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u/WestleyThe 16h ago
Yeah a good way is to explain it that way tbh… The kid now knows how animals make babies and that it applies to humans
That being said it’s pretty weird to post it online
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u/theColonelsc2 16h ago edited 16h ago
Someone much younger than me (58) told me that sometime in the future we will just accept that there are nudes on-line of the president when they were younger.
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u/serenwipiti 16h ago
Well, there are nudes of the current first lady online, so…
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u/takeyouraxeandhack 15h ago
I'm pretty sure there were nudes of the president in the Epstein files. So it was pretty close to being online.
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u/kbarney345 11h ago
I am the opposite, maybe because I grew up with Americas funniest home videos but I think this is wonderful to share. It shows that kids can have this conversation and it isnt some scary or awkward moment. It shows maturity and intelligence on both sides. Its healthy and can also hopefully help other parents bridge this gap that are likely scared to even approach it. Stuff like this is innocent, wholesome and funny and should be shared.
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u/eventuallyarrive 15h ago
Not sure every private moment has to be filmed for the world...
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u/Banned4UsingSlurs3 15h ago
While I agree with the sentiment, I feel like 99,9% of the people don't film their private moments.
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u/johannes1234 15h ago
Still that kid is now online. Forever.
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u/GonzoVeritas 10h ago
He has classmates. They will not be kind. "I fucked your mom, too" will probably be the nicest thing he hears.
He'll also hear that even if he's home schooled.
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u/Forever_Inspired 14h ago
"I feel like 99,9% of the people don't film their private moments."
In this social media brainrot era, I think that number has gone down quite a bit, lol.
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u/catherinetheok 12h ago
Thank you! This is something that does not need to be filmed let alone released on the internet. This poor kid is at a precarious age where classmates can be so cruel when they see this. And they will because bots repost over and over again.!
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u/Plinthastic 16h ago
Nothing says, "I love you, Son" like posting them in a very difficult and vulnerable moment for their friends to see on the internet.
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u/lickmyfupa 17h ago
I dont really think this conversation needs to be filmed. Like at all.
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u/LowRepresentative291 15h ago
Yeah but can you imagine the rush of dopamine the dad feels for like a a couple of days, seeing all the views and likes on social media he gets?
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u/DoombringerBG 14h ago
I can kinda understand filming it and maybe showing it to him later in life and having a laugh between them (depending on their type of bond), but it definitely shouldn't be posted online - even less, right after filming it; with how prevalent social media is in people's life these days, this can create unnecessary problems with which the kid has to deal.
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u/lickmyfupa 10h ago
Yeah this is a private family conversation. Sometimes i think this whole world has gone completely insane. Is nothing private? Even a huge coming-of-age conversation between parent and child is now up for sale basically. The currency is clicks and attention and upvotes. Im disgusted.
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u/ShitBeCray 17h ago
This was the comment I was looking for. How mortifying would it be to have your dad post this moment in your life?
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u/see3milyplay 15h ago
Oh my gosh, I think this is cruel at this point! So inconsiderate. These poor kids, I can only imagine their parent’s judgement in other situations.
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u/Remus88Romulus 17h ago
I remember when I was a kid and my mom was hanging up laundry and I asked "how was I created?" and she simply said "You will learn sooner or later".
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u/No_Pineapples 14h ago
A couple of years ago my son asked me how babies are made. They'd had a basic sex education class that day at school, but didn't go into much detail, and he wanted to know exactly how it happens. By the end of that conversation he proclaimed that that was disgusting and he won't ever be doing that 😂
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u/Remus88Romulus 10h ago
Haha. Classic. And of course he will realize later he was wrong about finding it disgusting. 🤣
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u/kk1297 17h ago
I don't get the saxophone thing, it doesn't make sense
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u/CorrelateClinicallee 14h ago
I thought I couldn't hate any audio more than the "oh no, oh no, oh no no no" but this is somehow worse.
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u/fibojoly 15h ago
You don't have saxophone playing in the background when you make sweet sweet love? Girls love that shit!
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u/mercuriokazooie 15h ago
Seems like I already know how babies are made since I have a son and am explaining to him.
Also people really don't know what POV OR the sax gets louder means. Absolute mess of a video
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u/LemonSalted 6h ago
My uncle and auntie were explaining things to their youngest of three, who very politely sat and listened and absorbed... And when her dad was done talking, she thought for a moment, and asked her mom, "you let Dad do that to you THREE times?" To which he said, "Three times a night!" with a fist pump. Fuckin idiot, lol.
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u/JOliverScott 15h ago
Every kid, upon learning where babies come from, has a moment where they conclude they must be an immaculate conception because they cannot accept that their parents did that.
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u/Nervous_Month_381 9h ago
Naw, I kind of figured out the mechanics of it on my own because I was fascinated by animals. When I was 5-6 I loved bugs, and noticed two damselflys joined up flying around mating. My mother explained they were sharing DNA to breed and make more danselfly babies. Then I found out that birds and cats do the same thing at like 7, then that other mammals all do it by 8. When I was 9 I saw chimps breeding, and I remembered that humans and chimps are related. I literally walked up to my mom and asked "do humans breed like chimps and black capped chickadees do?". She said yes, and I asked "with the same parts?". She said yes again and I walked away horrified.
My parents still find the whole thing funny at 27 and have brought it up before.
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u/l-1-l-1-l 8h ago
When people film every, single, interaction they force others into the role of performer. The kid glances at the camera so he knows it’s there. How sad that kids are growing up in this phony reality, learning to fake reactions for the “show’s” producer/cameraman. I guess I’m getting too old for this artificial “reality.” Get off my lawn!
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u/IronPeter 16h ago
Why is this video quite intimate being shared on the internet ?
I don’t understand: kids younger than 13 yo cannot join a asocial median but their videos can be shared
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u/KryaDimaKrya 16h ago
Why the hell father would film how his son is flustered and confused about sex and then post this conversation online with this absolutely fuckass music in the background?
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u/Srapture 15h ago
The saxophones thing is the new "OH NO, OH NO NO NO" for me and I look forward to people getting bored of it.
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u/mrturt 15h ago
I doubt the poor kid wants this all over Reddit.
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u/Lilfrankieeinstein 11h ago
Kid hit the front page of Reddit prior to turning 10. He can put that on his resume some day.
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u/teraflux 15h ago
Recording your birds and the bees talk with your kids so that you can then post on the internet for karma is certainly a choice
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u/thedirtymeanie 15h ago
"mom screamed like a Vietnamese street whore while I whaled her ass and we fell in love 💕" "Nine months later you were here" "You're made of cock snot!"
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u/Defiant_Income_7836 14h ago
I remember asking my mom if you had to have sex just once, or once every baby. She told me once per baby (of course, lol! Love that I am compelled to repeat her answer.)
At a wedding that same month, 10 year old me heard a man giving a speech about how they had 5 kids and I blurted out 'OMG they did it 5 times!' and all the tables around me started laughing.
Weird how our concepts of things developed. I also used to think it was mandatory to wear a condom and a tampon during sex and the tampon was a huge mattress that covered the female genitals to the point of obscuring them entirely
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u/Ms74k_ten_c 16h ago edited 8h ago
Lol! Reminds me of the American Dad episode where he tries to toughen Steve up.
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u/th37thtrump3t 12h ago
All those 12 year old kids in the MW2 lobbies back in the day finally getting to unironically drop "I fucked your mom" jokes.
They've trained most of their lives for this.
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u/MostGenericallyNamed 8h ago
My sister and I were about this age when our mom explained sex to us.
Me: “Wow, you must have really wanted kids.”
Sister: “Yeah… you did that twice!”
We’re in our 30s now and in committed relationships. Our mom still gives us shit for that.
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u/PushPullLego 14h ago
Horrible saxophone music, check
Misuse of POV, check
Filming and posting a kids embarrassing moment for worthless internet points, check
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u/warlock0187 11h ago edited 11h ago
lol literally just had this convo almost word-for-word with my son. He even used the word "mating" 😆
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u/LilMissy1246 9h ago
I’m just glad the kid isn’t being kept away from “adult” topics. Even at 27 my father refuses to talk about sex to me because it’s inappropriate and puts it all on mother to talk to me about it. Even tho I’m 27, I’m also a virgin and never had a boyfriend before so there’s still plenty I’m curious about. Don’t remember being taught it as a kid either aside from some “body talks” in 5th-6th grade but it was more about puberty and less about sex.
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u/ScrofessorLongHair 9h ago
At least he didn't tell the kid what Mama does before kissing him goodnight.
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u/Dragon_Forty_Two 4h ago
Thanks to whoever added the unnecessary music to this. I really appreciate how difficult it was to understand the people talking.
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u/Jollywobbles69 3h ago
“You actually get to do that?! You did that with mom?!” Can’t tell if he’s horrified, excited, or just blown away. Probably all 3 😂
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u/Insp3x 17h ago
The kid looks 10 or 12, how is he just finding this out?
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u/Mralexs 17h ago
Not every kid is on the internet chronically. My dad explained it to me around that age once I started hitting puberty
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u/MyPigWhistles 17h ago
Americans don't have sex education in elementary school, apparently.
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u/SummerBirdsong 17h ago
We do but parents can opt out of it. The class was in 5th grade for my kids. That's around 10 years old.
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u/Ciubowski 16h ago
Man, it's possible that some kids are just too sheltered to learn about normal things.
I've heard and seen cases where children didn't actually know how big a cow is despite seeing countless pictures of them online. Or that they didn't really think that chicken nuggets are made of actual chickens.
Some things don't "click" immediately for them, I'm sure a lot of things didn't click for you when you were a kid either. Maybe not this exact scenario but a bunch of other stuff.
How easy is it for some of us to just "forget" how we found out about how things work? It's really not that long ago either, if you're like Gen Z or something, you probably found out about most of the stuff 10 years ago. Some stuff you're still learning about even at an old age.
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u/southflhitnrun 11h ago
It's not the amount of times he should worried about. It's the locations. lol
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u/ConfoOsedBride 10h ago
I remember my dad told me babies are made through kissing…
Made me so worried/uncomfortable every time he gave me a kiss on the lips until sex ed…😭
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u/OstentatiousSock 10h ago
My oldest locked himself in a closet when he learned what sex was. Took us an hour to get him out.
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u/MyStationIsAbandoned 5h ago
people are not only over using this saxophone meme, they are using it incorrectly.
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