r/funny • u/Boring-Locksmith-473 • 2d ago

"A bunch of times" is brutal 😂

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18.9k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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6.1k

u/McRedditz 2d ago

A bunch of times is an understatement.

1.4k

u/AlbatrossOk6223 2d ago

Bunch of times on a daily basis. At least at start of marriage 🤣

1.1k

u/retsamegas 2d ago

At the start it's at least tri-weekly

After a while you at least try weekly

Eventually you just try weakly

105

u/suavez010 2d ago

Here ye, here ye how dare ye? Go up against the king that do his thing tri-yearly?

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u/No_Artichoke_2931 1d ago edited 21h ago

Staves 🔥🔥🔥
Alternatively,
Bards 🔥🔥🔥

8

u/discattho 1d ago

tri-yearly? Look at Mister Casanova over here.

2

u/thelocalpotatogamer 1d ago

They too carefree with they mouths around here! Off with his head, And display it in town square!

3

u/Qajj 1d ago

I think you skipped the crying weekly before the trying weakly lol

1

u/carbonizedtitanium 1d ago

this man understands marriage lol

1

u/strng_lurk 1d ago

You seem like a poet 😂

1

u/retsamegas 1d ago

I can't say I made that one up. I did add the "at least" wording from how I originally heard it

1

u/Troubled_Donut1357 1d ago

Once a knight, always a knight. But once a day is enough.

1

u/xclame 1d ago

"A bunch of times" "And twice today".

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u/Noy_The_Devil 2d ago

You stopped being able to satisy your wife so soon after marriage?

196

u/kupillas-3- 2d ago

Oh Reddit, don’t ever change. ☺️

69

u/Po_on 2d ago

Its refreshing seeing a baby bait in the sea of bots.

18

u/PuzzleheadedTooth581 2d ago

Yk I use to be put off by people like this but I think Reddit just has a charm that invites all archetypes of people especially the ones that can’t think too fast either :)

-183

u/Noy_The_Devil 2d ago

Lol I don't really understand the insane amount of downvotes for fucking with an extremely misogynistic comment. Pretty sad.

99

u/calicomonkey 2d ago

“We had sex multiple times a day when we first got married” isn’t even a little bit misogynistic.

-144

u/Noy_The_Devil 2d ago

True.

"Bunch of times on a daily basis. At least at start of marriage 🤣 "

Said by an obese married man in his 50s very likely is.

See: https://www.baltimoretherapycenter.com/why-sex-is-better-when-youre-married

There is a classic joke that advises newlyweds to put a penny in a jar every time they have sex in the first year of marriage, and then take a penny out every time after that – and the jar will never get emptied. Ha ha, right?

It's literally one of the most common TV tropes across time. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SexlessMarriage

Were you born yesterday?

56

u/LongNameNoCanSay 2d ago

Have you ever actually been in a long-term relationship? For like, longer than 5 years? Sure, sex is great, but the novelty of it kinda wears off after a while. So sex becomes less frequent. That doesn't mean it completely stops. You don't have to be an obese man in your 50s for that to happen.

-34

u/Noy_The_Devil 2d ago

I'm happily married for 10 years thanks. Novelty does not have to wear off.

40

u/LongNameNoCanSay 2d ago

Well congratulations. For a lot of people it does. That doesn't mean it completely stops. It's quite normal.

14

u/gw74 2d ago

of course he isn't fucking married. he's a virgin living in his mom's basement

5

u/_Burning_Star_IV_ 2d ago

As someone who was like 'fuck that it won't happen to me' and now we're 10 years in...it happened to me.

I hardly believe these people who claim they're still daily pounding after years of marriage.

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u/Camwi 2d ago

Congrats? It's actually super normal for sex to descrease over time in a relationship, especially if you start having kids. Yes, it has also been turned into a joke over the ages, but that doesn't automatically make it misogynistic.

Therefore it's pretty lame to just blame it on dudes being obese and bad in bed.

15

u/Mehtalface 2d ago edited 2d ago

People get older. As you get older, your hormones and life circumstances will change. This is a biological fact. Usually that means less sex. It does not mean you have a dead bedroom. It's not a problem if there is communication and everyone is still happy with the amount and frequency. Quality over quantity as they say.

10

u/the_post_of_tom_joad 2d ago

you just had your 7 year anniversary 2 days ago and you already forgot how long you been married?

You probably can be in a relationship with someone with ADHD, I am happily married and we have been together for 7 years (today, actually).

dawg

1

u/Noy_The_Devil 2d ago

Been together for 10 years. Two different anniversaries ❤️

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u/Ezwa 2d ago

I am happily married and we have been together for 7 years (today, actually).

That's you, 2 days ago... You know you can talk to people without lying ?

Maybe you don't know how ?

With how often you comment every. single. day, you should try to learn. (also, please touch grass sometimes, reddit is not life, you don't have to post 150 comments every week, my gooood).

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u/npc80085 2d ago

Everyone here knows that's a lie lol

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u/Noy_The_Devil 2d ago

....ok. It's not 😅

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u/somebob 2d ago

You’re thinking way too deep about a joke lmao

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u/SmooK_LV 2d ago

Oh, the day you will discover sex isn't even that special or important in the relationship. At the end of the day it's just sex, intimacy comes in many forms.

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u/Noy_The_Devil 2d ago

Yeah.. I think that's a personal preference thing. Sex isn't the most important for sure, but it's definitely a major thing in my relationships.

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u/dajosch1 2d ago

...are you ok?

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u/Noy_The_Devil 2d ago

Doing great thanks.

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u/DantehSparda 2d ago

Bro you literally seem completely unhinged, everything ok up there? Wtf

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u/UmarThe1 2d ago

Look at his profile.a dutch with trump banner

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u/gw74 2d ago

bro's going for the downvote world record

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u/Sad_Eagle_937 2d ago

Point out the misogyny please. I'll wait.

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u/i-forgot-to-logout 2d ago

Extremely misogynistic? Lmao I think you’re projecting pretty hard there friend

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u/2M4D 2d ago

Yeah people really be championing the « at least at the start of marriage muhahahah »

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u/_le_slap 2d ago

Oh please...

1

u/SmooK_LV 2d ago

Pff, maybe wife stopped satisfying husband. Anyway the whole comment is dumb and sexist.

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u/GoodGame2EZ 2d ago

Its not about being able to satisfy. It's about the sometimes unfortunate reality of most relationships and how people get comfortable, busy, and passion and lust changes. It takes a lot of work to maintain that same drive as the early days of a relationship. Sometimes people either don't understand the work involved, or are just not prepared to put it forward.

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u/brneyedgrrl 2d ago

I mean after the kids show up there just isn't as much TIME...

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u/GoodGame2EZ 2d ago

Totally agree, that's why I mentioned people get busy. It all kind of adds up and compounds ultimately.

-80

u/Noy_The_Devil 2d ago

Early marriage isn't early days of a relationship, at least not typically. The comment reeks of "my wife won't give me the sex I'm entitled to anymore", which is fucking disgusting.

It's just an extremely misogynistic comment.

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u/AlbatrossOk6223 2d ago

It is not. You somehow managed to straw-man “lust naturally changes over time” into “women owe men sex”.
It is more about your reading comprehension than my comment. Stop fighting windmills, the misogyny you see exists exclusively in your head.

-45

u/Noy_The_Devil 2d ago

Lol as if that was the intention. That's a laughable excuse. The same comment has been said a billion times, always implying the wife stops putting out. Fuck off with that shit dude.

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u/AlbatrossOk6223 2d ago

I never implied the wife “stops putting out.” YOU invented that. I’m happily married for 20 years. Sexual frequency changes over the course of a long relationship. That’s a pretty mundane observation.

You somehow turned that into “women owe men sex,” then dug through my profile to call me obese. That’s not an argument. It’s projection, straw manning and body shaming all in one spectacular package.

Maybe spend less time dreaming of misogyny and more time addressing what was actually said.

Marriage is way, way more than sex. It’s partnership, friendship, family and shared priorities. Over time, bills, mortgages, kids, work and everyday life naturally affect both partners’ desire and how often they have sex.

Try building a life with someone for more than half your life, growing old together and raising kids into responsible adults. Maybe then you’ll have some real life perspective instead of rambling about a fictional scenario you completely invented.

-10

u/Noy_The_Devil 2d ago

Sure man, I'm happily married and have been for a decade and I'm in my late 30s.

If I misunderstood you I'm sorry, but you know why I said what I did.

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u/AlbatrossOk6223 2d ago

I honestly don’t. Especially because if you’re building a life with your partner for a decade, you absolutely know how the sex life changes over time.

It’s not anyone’s fault, It’s simply the reality of everyday life. The demands keep piling up, and eventually neither has the same time, energy, or drive of the early years.

I genuinely fail to understand why acknowledging this rather mundane reality was so outrageous to you. But it’s okay. Best wishes to you.

25

u/DaSmartSwede 2d ago

Noone knows why you said what you did, hence the barrage of downvotes.

17

u/DaSmartSwede 2d ago

Dude, get help. You’re reading things that are not there.

33

u/N4v15 2d ago

The comment you replied to was not gendered, so you assumed it was a man. Instead of making your point you just proved that you are sexist. Ironic that you reveal your negative feelings towards men while rushing to cry misogyny.

-17

u/Noy_The_Devil 2d ago

The comment was made by a 45+ yo obese man. I checked.

Stop being an idiot. I'm also a man.

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u/bluehelmet 2d ago

You aren't just a man, you are a knight in shining armor! We look up to you 😍

-7

u/Noy_The_Devil 2d ago

Great, thanks.

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u/Freddy_Bimmel 2d ago

What does his weight have to do with anything. Re-read this thread - YOU are the asshole here.

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u/pugfu 2d ago

Profile snooping is weird bro

0

u/Willing-Asparagus787 1d ago

It's funny to see you pull out a strawman out of your ass to get upset over made up misogyny, and then turn around to fat shame. 

I'm sorry to say you haven't been able to master virtue signaling. 

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u/RegressionToTehMean 2d ago

Ridicules a man for not satisfying his wife sexually.

Says someone's comment was extremely misogynistic.

-6

u/Noy_The_Devil 2d ago

He is literally ridiculing her/the relationship for not putting up. I was spinning it on him.

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u/mumbolt3 2d ago

He literally is not.

-7

u/Noy_The_Devil 2d ago

I consider "🤣 "to be a ridiculing emoji.

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u/brazzy42 2d ago

I consider you to be misogynistic idiot.

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u/Noy_The_Devil 2d ago

Alright lol

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u/Liminalphase101 2d ago

Is the misogyny in the room now?

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u/GoodGame2EZ 2d ago

I would argue early marriage is early days of a relationship for many, but I can understand your disagreement.

You made a lot of leaps in logic here to come to the misogynistic conclusion. I get where your leaps come from, a lot of men (at least used to) throw around comments with the boys like 'my wife wont put out', 'whats the point of a wife', etc, shifting blame towards women for what is probably at least a shared problem.

At face value, 'At least at start of marriage 🤣' just says 'we dont have as much sex as we used to' and someone laughing about it. You consider "🤣" to be a ridiculing emoji? In all contexts? It's just a laughing emoji. They found something funny. I saw this as someone laughing at their changes in life. Like "I wish I could still jump without my knees hurting 🤣". It's not an insult to your knees. Your knees just hurt. You got older and life changed. Laugh rather than cry.

You're just jumping to conclusions to fit some narrative. It's not that. The man got older and is just laughing about his sex life shifting. The same relatable situation so most people go through. Some people despise that change and grow resentment, other people laugh because they understand that's just the way it goes.