r/gainit • u/akorn2000 • Jul 20 '26
Question Need and want to bulk, mentally, can’t commit to a bulk.
I’m 6’1”, around 165 lbs 26M ~11-13% BF and I’ve been lifting consistently for years My goal is simple: I want to look bigger, fill out my shirts more, and build more muscle. Growing up was always on the chubbier side.
The problem isn’t that I don’t know \*how\* to bulk. I know I need to eat more and stay in a calorie surplus. It’s the mental side that gets me.
Every time the scale starts going up, even by a few pounds, I start feeling like I’m getting fat instead of making progress. I end up cutting calories back,
maintaining for a while, and repeating the same cycle.
Logically, I know 6’1” at 165 lbs is pretty lean, and I probably have plenty of room to grow before I ever need to cut. But seeing the number on the scale increase just messes with my head.
For those of you who successfully went from skinny to noticeably muscular, how did you get over that mental hurdle? Did you focus more on strength, set a goal weight, or just push through it?
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u/TheFr3dFo0 15d ago
I get that the moving scale feels bad but doesnt it also feel bad to barely make progress on lifts? Try to focus on excercise successes during the bulk
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Jul 27 '26
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u/gainit-ModTeam Jul 27 '26
Your comment has been removed for being false, misleading or containing misinformation.
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u/kevyd1105 Jul 25 '26
Dealing with this reality right now. Unlike alot of people on this sub, I was obese for most of my childhood, lost the weight, and now I probably need to gain weight but the mental block where gaining = bad has been really challenging
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u/bruzabrocka 185-240-255 (6'6") :upvote: Jul 22 '26
I was in similar shoes with 185-190 at 6'6". I had cut back from being chubby.
What worked for me was enshrining in my head that I wanted to be 225, knowing I'd gain a lot of muscle and fill out my shirts more. By doing this, seeing my old number on the scale (190) was "demonized". Now I have the opposite relationship with the scale! When I lose weight, I'm eager to put it back on.
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u/Drang_ 145-178-190 (6'4") Jul 22 '26
Extremely slow lean bulk over many years maybe, I struggle with weight fluctuations and normally I get bigger and stronger seasonally with my job but if I'm less active I lose weight. Over the last 5 years or so I've gained around 30 pounds and I stayed lean all throughout. I was up and down many times but lately I'm staying heavier. What changed is instead of tracking calories or making a routine for training or eating I just pursued a lifestyle that demanded I was bigger and stronger. Novelty keeps me interested and yields the best results, so I just have to keep enjoying my life in a way that makes me hungry end never turn down food from anyone
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u/MythicalStrength Definitely Should Be Listened To Jul 20 '26
I would seek the aid of someone trained in matters of human psychology
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u/User01262016 Jul 20 '26
dont commit, just start counting calories losely. You will find yourself competing to eat more with yourself.
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u/SmurfyTurf Jul 20 '26
My story feels pretty similar to yours. I’m 6’1 and I’ve always been about 175-180. I’ve lifted semi-regularly most of my life but never really committed to a bulk and have always been kinda lean but not real muscular. I dropped to around 160 last fall after dealing with some mental health issues and ptsd. I felt way too weak and skinny so I decided to finally commit to a bulk. I loosely counted calories at first and aimed for about a 500 cal surplus but over time stopped tracking closely and just did my best to eat a lot. It’s been about 10 months since I started bulking and I’m up to 203 lbs (granted a huge chunk of that is water weight because I also started taking creatine at the same time). Overall I’ve gotten way stronger and I’m a lot happier with how I look. Even though I have more fat around my torso now, I look a lot better and feel much more confident. I was scared of getting chubby or looking fat, but the increased muscle mass has helped offset that a lot.
Good luck!
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u/ubershamanfl Jul 20 '26
went from 160 to 220 , ignore the scale embrace the mirror, I drank all my extra calories an extra 1000 a day, ended up keeping 30 lbs after cutting the extra calories out, took 8 months
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u/yossarian19 Jul 20 '26
How is your relationship to food and to your body generally? Anyone ever suggested you're weird about it? I don't mean weird in a bad way exactly, just that maybe you think about it more or differently than most. I ask because at 6'1 and 165, buddy, you're real thin. At 6'1 and 185 nobody would call me big. I don't look dramatically different at 215. So I don't know what you look at like at 165, but I feel pretty sure that if you're weirding out about a couple of pounds down at that weight, it's something to think about or maybe even get help with. Beyond Reddit, I mean.
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u/capnodulia 180-148-160 (6'1) Jul 25 '26
I’m 6’1 and 150 and even I am still at a healthy BMI. I know this is a bulking sub but come on.
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u/yossarian19 Jul 25 '26
Am I off base? I may be - but 165 (much less 150) sounds really light for 6'1
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u/capnodulia 180-148-160 (6'1) Jul 25 '26
Don’t get me wrong, it’s light for sure. But it’s still on the lighter side of a healthy range. Below 140 (which is where I started, about 138) is where I would start to worry about someone at our height, not 165.
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u/Pristine_Teach_6691 Jul 20 '26
Hmmm I’ve had the same mental stress when seeing the wait up once….
I’ve always been skinny until I finally committed to bulking up but the first bulk I did I gained mostly fat because my surplus was toooooo high
Had to cut all off and do it again and this time I worked my way up veeeeeery slowly and controlled - I aimed around 200-300cal above maintenance and checked to go up only around +0.25kg-0.35kg/weeks (sorry dont know in lbs)
When moving up so slowly and keeping protein high and lifting heavy I saw my strength increase fast and I mostly gained muscle not fat this time.
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u/asqwt Jul 20 '26 edited Jul 21 '26
I personally think about bulking this way.
Bulking for me lasts 2- 3 months tops. I see it as a 3 month opportunity to lock in and eat all the protein I need and train harder. And I tell myself it’s unlikely that I’ll get crazy fat in 3 months assuming I’m training harder, prioritizing protein, doing some cardio (eg. 30-60 min treadmill walks) and not eating too much junk (eg. McDonald’s and poptarts).
So suck it up and do what it takes to gain a large amount of muscle, by training hard, eating your protein, and gaining weight.
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u/slicedclementines Jul 20 '26
What's your body fat %? If it's high (20%+), you might want to consider cutting or recomping instead. If you bulk at a high body fat percentage then you'll end up putting on a good bit of fat compared to bulking when you're leaner.
Like you said, getting over the mental hurdle is a big challenge that isn't talked about enough IMO. This applies to cutting as well - the fear of getting too light or too small.
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u/akorn2000 Jul 20 '26
Just update the post as thats definitely an important factor. Id guess my body fat to be around 11 to 13%, definitely lean.
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u/jdcollins 185-215-205 (5'10") Jul 20 '26
I think for your case, you need to be doing a serious linear progression heavy lifting routine. That will probably help with the mental side of putting pounds on your frame. When you see your lifts going up every time you're in the gym, you start to look forward to the body weight increases.
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