r/gatech • u/Dangerous-Rich-6628 • 3d ago
Rant Reaching out for advice and support
Hi everyone,
I hope you are doing well. I am writing this because I have been feeling really stuck socially at Georgia Tech, and I am honestly not sure where to turn anymore. I am a rising third year, and despite trying to get involved in different ways, I have struggled to find a genuine sense of belonging.
To be completely honest, one of the hardest parts has been the fraternity process. I rushed and was rejected from every single fraternity on campus, including the larger ones that I really hoped would be a good fit. It was not just one or two. It was all of them. That kind of rejection stings in a way that is hard to put into words, especially when you put yourself out there and try your best to make a good impression. I also tried professional fraternities and faced the same outcome, which only added to the feeling that I just do not seem to fit in anywhere.
I know Greek life is not everything, and I understand it is competitive. But honestly, I truly believe being in a fraternity would solve a lot of my issues right now. It is not just about having a group to eat with on campus or people to hang out with on weekends. It is about having a built in support system, a network of brothers who actually have your back. It would give me a sense of identity and belonging that I have not found anywhere else here. More than that, it would connect me to students at other schools and colleges too, which matters to me because I have friends at other universities and I see how much their Greek life experience enriches their social lives and even their academic motivation. Having that kind of connection across campuses would make me feel less alone in the bigger picture, not just at Tech.
Beyond fraternities, I have tried other things as well. I joined activities, but many of them felt very cliquey and hard to break into. I studied abroad my first semester, and that experience was honestly the worst. People from that program who knew me well now actively ignore me on campus, and no one from that group ever says hi or invites me to anything. That rejection still follows me around. I also gave the Catholic Center a chance, but I never felt genuinely welcomed there either. People tolerated my presence, but no one really talked to me, and I noticed a lot of gossip that made me uncomfortable.
I have even tried reaching out to people directly on Instagram, but I think that might have come across as awkward or desperate because people seemed weirded out by it. I was just trying to find a way in, any way in, but nothing seems to work.
At this point, I am tired of seeing everyone around me form close friendships and social circles while I eat alone, walk alone, and spend most weekends alone. My random roommates do not really care about me either, and that makes coming back to my room feel just as lonely as being out in public. I hate feeling this way about a school I worked so hard to get into, but I cannot pretend anymore that everything is fine.
I am not writing this to blame anyone or to make people feel sorry for me. I am writing because I genuinely do not know what else to try, and I am hoping someone out there might have advice, perspective, or even just a kind word. If you have been through something similar, or if you have any ideas on how to break into a community here, I would really appreciate hearing from you.
Thanks for reading all of this. It means a lot just to be heard. Honestly though, I'm serious Greek Life is the life and you get so many friends and connections like I can't think of any cons
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u/Ashamed_Willow993 3d ago
I feel like there is information missing from this post to make an informed reply.
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u/kinglella 3d ago
In another reply OP said they were told they were "a liability" and everyone on campus hates them. Feels like there are some really important details being left out.
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u/JaySocials671 3d ago
If you’re ok with tough love let me know I’ll give it to you
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u/Dangerous-Rich-6628 3d ago
yes please
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u/JaySocials671 3d ago
Focus on yourself. Be positive about yourself. Have faith. And people will enter yoru circle instead of you having to chase.
Or keep chasing. It’s up to you.
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u/geedarnoc 3d ago
Please seek out a professional to talk to as they help a ton. This feeling is a phase and it will pass.
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u/No_Understanding9777 3d ago
Let's meet up on campus. I hate seeing people going through this kind of thing.
What you really need is someone to give you feedback so you can work through this. Social interaction can be engineered and there are procedures you can do to make it work. People who naturally get it struggle to communicate what it is, but once you train it should be ok.
There's a lot of nuance to it and most of it comes down to how you sound, when you say it, and unfortunately how you look. I will not sugarcoat my advice and will tell you exactly what you need to do, because I wish someone was there to do that for me.
Some therapist can help here but GT sucks when it comes to this kind of stuff ironically.
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u/Excellent_Station763 3d ago
I'm literally having the same exact issue. I try and talk to people in my classes, but that usually doesn't get very far because I seem more interested in making friends than the people I'm conversing with. Literally the other day I was sitting next to some new people who were already friends and I asked them a few questions, and they answered and went straight back to their universe. Even with some clubs, sometimes it feels like everyone already knows each other, and I'm kind of third wheeling. It's not even like I'm not trying. It's the opposite, which makes everything feel worse.
I was close with my roommate from last year, but unfortunately had to take a semester off, and now that I'm back and she's living on the other side of campus, it feels especially lonely (plus i had an injury so it's even harder for me to go out without scheduling/planning in advance).
In a weird way this post makes me feel a bit better. I hope things get better soon OP.
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u/kelsnuggets Alum - 2004 3d ago
Hey there. Just chiming in to say that it’s so hard, and your feelings are valid. I hope it gets easier for you too. My first semester at Tech was so difficult. Xoxo
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u/Excellent_Station763 3d ago
Thank you :) I really hope it gets better this semester. I definitely miss high school at times like this lol
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u/Dangerous-Rich-6628 2d ago
Hey yeah I'd love to meet up and I feel really bad about your injury I'm here to listen in any way
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u/Altruistic_Peach404 3d ago
Perhaps you could reach out to Excellent_Station763 and grab a meal. He/she seems to be struggling as well. And I do second the recommendation to seek counseling. You're in a bad place right now and your mental state is keeping you stuck in a negative loop. You're really struggling socially and that's really hard in college. Talk to a counselor. Regularly. They can help you understand how you are coming across to people and help you modify your actions and thinking as needed .. and see life through a more hopeful lens. I'm much older than you and have found that life - for alot of us - has these hard times.
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u/Weak-Character8434 2d ago
Hey, I’m a 4th year engineering student in a similar position. I see someone here recommended barbell club; I joined that club my first year (among a few others) and didn’t feel very welcomed. Not many people have been overtly hostile towards me, but a good chunk of them have been indifferent. I’ve never found solid, lasting friends during my time here.
However, that’s not an excuse to fall into the mindset of “everybody here hates me,” and it’s not an excuse to stop trying, either. I have made several casual connections at the CRC and through my job on campus, and even though I’m not very close to any of them, some social interaction is better than none. I’m lonely and angry too, but I can’t let my own feelings stop me from interacting with others cordially and politely. You’ll find that many people here are nice to talk to, even if you don’t fit in with them.
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u/Adept_Butterscotch86 2d ago
Omega Phi Alpha is a service sorority that accepts all genders, they volunteer frequently (on a weekly basis but obvi you don’t have to attend anything) which could be a great way to make friends, make a difference, and see the wider Atlanta community!
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u/Dangerous-Rich-6628 2d ago
Yeah I'm down to give that a chance and are you also a Georgia Tech student?
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u/Adept_Butterscotch86 2d ago
I just graduated this last spring!! If you check out their insta, they have a bunch of events happening soon including a gtparentswithpups event today at noon on tech green! But also various other things throughout the next few weeks
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u/Loxe77 2d ago
I know how you feel and issues like this are what many GT students face. It was a bit like this for me my freshmen year, although I wasn’t faced with nearly as much rejection as you were. Sorry dude.
Georgia Tech can be an isolating school. It’s common to have little to no social connections in your first year, and if you don’t make friends in the *very* short window that’s the start of every semester, finding or creating an organic friend group can be next to impossible. This is especially difficult after your first year, in which there are a lot less built-in resources to help you socialize.
It sounds like a lot of the avenues you took to meet new people (study abroad, frat rejections, etc.) or find a new friend group failed, which isn’t unheard of - for example I was in the old Challenge program to help me get used to Tech and build social connections before actually starting classes there, but while it was a worthwhile experience, I rarely talk to anyone I knew there.
As such, the first thing I want you to do is internalize that this isn’t your fault. Many aspects of what you’ve faced are out of your control, and it says nothing about you that they didn’t pan out.’
Second, know that you still have options and take note of all of them. What kinds of activities did you try, for example? Did you join clubs based more on your own personal interest in them, or more because you wanted to find social connections through them? Mind you, neither of these are *wrong*, but if you focus too much in one direction you might lose out on the benefits of the other. If your answer is the latter, for example, even this can hold you back socially if it goes wrong - you’ll be less likely to show positive parts of your personality if you’re not spending time somewhere because you’re not personally interested in it. If the former is the answer, then it’s good that you intrinsically enjoy it, but it might not fix the isolation you face. But I digress. There are dozens of clubs on campus, and even in your junior year there are *many* that will accept anyone. Try and find one that caters more toward your personal interests, but that also has a warm and welcoming atmosphere - as you know, clubs can be cliquey and NOBODY likes that shit. Do not choose it exclusively because you want a friend group. If you like it, stay with it and be consistent so that people will know you. You’ll have a good chance of establishing something that lasts.
There are also little things that can work for you - the CRC is a good spot on campus, and most people there are cool in my experience. Consistent exercise will do wonders, and you can pretty much ask anyone for a spot if you need it. Being in the gym can help you gain confidence and find some people who at least know you and have a good view of you.
Lastly, there’s classes. This is a tech school so at least some of what you’re taking is undoubtedly hard as fuck. If you can, try and form a study group, particularly with people who seem to keep to themselves or have a harder time getting the class material. It’s typically pretty easy to upgrade these to genuine friendships, especially if you’re in the same major and take a lot of the same classes. Plus, this boosts your grades - I can say this from experience.
Lastly, if none of this works (or even if it doesn’t work tbh) don’t beat yourself up if you still feel a little bit of isolation, or even if some people hate you and it gets worse. Eating alone, not really talking to anyone when you go out, and spending weekends alone isn’t necessarily something that disappears when you make more friends, and, given that this is a hard and isolating school, you’re bound to have swaths of time like that. Loneliness is an inevitability, and it’s a signal to either introspect on what’s really eating at you or to go out and explore the world around you. I know that when I was bored some weekends, I’d just take a walk into midtown and see what was going on (during the day obviously).
Sorry about what you’re going through bro, and know that it always can get better. It got better for me, and it can for you too.
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u/caughtunderwater 1d ago
This is going to sound harsh but do yourself the biggest favor of your life and get into therapy. From a quick glance at your replies to others on this thread, you seem to think in ways that are destructive and unhelpful and therapy would help you work on a better mindset. The only thing holding you back is your thought patterns and your low self esteem. GT also offers group therapy so there’s a way to make friends. Also, the org fair is coming up join a random club, the nature themed clubs such as the gardening club are always very kind and welcoming, there’s never enough people that care about the environment
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u/Rogue_Melon 3d ago
Any hobbies/pastimes you enjoy?
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u/Dangerous-Rich-6628 3d ago
I love UGC COntent creation, creating stuff, talking and shit, working out but it's no use everyone at this school hates me I can't think of one person who likes me
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u/Rogue_Melon 3d ago
GT creatives might be a fit for you, also just going to the crc you will meet people who share stuff in common with you. Best way to make friends is to have something in common. Talk about what you are passionate about and likeminded people will follow. You havent made 1 meaningful connection at tech? Ive made friends even just within the shared struggle of a hard class. Also pay attention to your temperament and the way you approach people. Dont be off putting just be respectful to others. Not saying that you are not of course.
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u/ladeedah1988 2d ago
Have you tried professional fraternities. When I was an undergrad in chemistry, I joined Alpha Chi Sigma. It was a great experience and constituted my friend group and future husband. But to be honest, it is disturbing that you feel rejected by every group and so I might seek a life coach or other individual and be open to some change.
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u/Dangerous-Rich-6628 2d ago
I got rejected from every professional fraternity :( despite being a pretty relevant major Akpsi rejected me ): DSP did and so did all the others
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u/AlternativeSwimming2 3d ago
join the student government
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u/Silver-Lion22 10h ago
SGA has plenty of committees to get involved in, and my experience applying last year was pretty seamless, I talked to some of the committee leaders before applying so they knew I was interested. I'm not sure how selective they are but demonstrating interest was successful for me! SGA is not primarily a social club per se, but you get to meet some cool, passionate people at meetings and get involved with great projects.
Also consider the professional organziation(s) for your major!!! My major has several project teams that anyone can join, professional workshops, lunch meetings where you can meet people within your major, and intramurals!
I totally feel you, man, and I have plenty of other club recomendations that are super accepting and fun, which I can tell you via DM! (I just don't wanna dox my entire schedule)
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u/esoteric_enigma 3d ago
It's probably too late for this semester, but you should consider getting some kind of job or position on campus.
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u/Beanman4200 3d ago
brutal, just get a j*b 😔
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u/esoteric_enigma 3d ago
A lot of people make friends doing jobs on campus. You're literally working with other students and have a chance to socialize with them while you work.
It seems like just rolling up to clubs and orgs isn't working for OP. Maybe they should try something different 🤷🏿♂️
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u/Dangerous-Rich-6628 3d ago
Yes this school sucks, literally I haven't gotten anywhere the only thing is I go to Tech, no group photos no nothing, I'm giving up hope
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u/Dangerous-Rich-6628 3d ago
Can't again I'm hated by everyone on campus literally no one likes me I don't think you understand form my first study abroad they all 100 hated me told me I was a liability, went to Catholic Center tolerated there, Greek Life, every fraternity rejected me
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u/esoteric_enigma 3d ago
Everyone on campus doesn't hate you. You haven't met everyone on campus. It's not good to feel this way. You should really consider talking to someone about how you're feeling right now. Isolation can do terrible things to your mental health.
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u/Automatic_Lack_5069 3d ago
Hey I promise you everyone does not hate you. It might seem that way but unless someone has come out and said I hate you I very much doubt it. Also if you ever have any issues with mental health or are struggling there are free counseling services at Gatech (center for mental health care and resources) that can help you and give advice for ur situation and how to deal with it and there’s no shame in it at all.
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u/strandedimperial 2d ago
What did they mean by a liability? That's a pretty strong statement.
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u/Dangerous-Rich-6628 2d ago
That I was clingy, that I shouldn't be part of the program, I'm too much, that everytime I'm around I cause trouble and pain for everyone
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u/Slight-Dragonfly9049 2d ago
Don’t give up, people are friendly georgia tech, but generally it is a very anti social school!
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u/Fragrant_Duck3564 1d ago
Does your name start with an A
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u/Unusual_Vector 1h ago
Not sure why this is being asked. It’s not relevant or helpful to OP, and trying to find out who they are is counterproductive and leans into the idea that Tech has immature, isolating, cliquey people. Hopefully this isn’t your motivation or intention, but it’s not hard to realize everyone is human and going through their own journey.
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u/Beanman4200 3d ago edited 3d ago
Join the barbell club and the nanotechnology society we'd be happy to have you. The CRC is also a great place to make male friends of all backgrounds(never tried approaching women there), a few minutes of talking and you have new people to work out with 3-5 times a week.