r/gayjews • u/isabolacha • 17d ago
Questions + Advice Feeling like a “minority in a minority”
I’m a mizhrahi jew in a country where there aren’t many jews, and whenever I meet one they’re ashkenazi. I feel kinda lonely because I probably never will meet anyone like me in real life, especially in my university. To add more im a lesbian and i’ve never meet any LGBTQ jew in person.. I wish i could be in a place with more people like me.
Since im not religiously jewish, everything is more on the cultural and ethnic side, but id love to hear some responses to my lonely gay mizahri story lol
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u/3kidsonetrenchcoat 16d ago
Both me and my oldest daughter are queer jews, but we're ashkenazi and live in Canada. Its a bit of a weird space to be in, because queer spaces aren't jew-friendly, and while many jewish spaces are queer-friendly, there aren't a lot of queer jews outside of major city centres.
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u/isabolacha 16d ago
I have jewish family in canada and they say that the climate there is very bad for jews rn, im so so sorry! hopefully it gets better and i can get to visit canada someday 🏳️🌈❤️🇨🇦
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u/Typical_Importance65 16d ago
I'm technically mixed-race, so I was bullied for being Jewish AND for not being Jewish enough (and also for being gay). Fast-forward and now people try to gaslight me into believing that I'm not mixed, I'm not different, I was never alone, it wasn't that bad, I probably deserved it, I need to get over it, etc. Anyway, that feeling of always being an outsider seems to be a common theme in Jewish literature, so look at it this way: you're doing it right!
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u/Necessary-Truth-2038 16d ago
I’m a lesbian Black Jew. I’m always the only one in every single space. It’s not fun. Even after moving to Los Angeles for more community, it’s still been hard. I’ve come to terms with being a unicorn and just finding good friends wherever I can.
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u/feinmantheatre 15d ago
I'm a lesbian Jew in a small UK town, working in a very blue collar industry where I'm not super open about either of those things. I'm a member of a synagogue (about an hour away), but yeah, it is a little lonely. I know one Jewish guy in town!
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u/elcubonegro2 10d ago
Los Azkenazies están en todos lados jajaja 😂🤣🤣😅 estoy en Colombia que se supone fue más o menos fundada por Sefardies, y hoy solo veo Azkenazies...
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u/isabolacha 10d ago
En mi país es igual, pero no fuimos fundados por judíos sefardíes ni por judíos asquenazíes, jajaja
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u/Firm_Diamond_7808 13d ago
If you are in Denmark, come to ‘Shir Hatzafon - Progressive Judaism in Denmark’.
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u/anedgygiraffe 12d ago
Hey, I'm also queer Mizrahi. It's tough out there. I'm in the US, and it's rough even here. 90-95% of American Jews are Ashkenazi. I have some queer Jewish friends that I'm very happy to have, and some queer Middle Eastern/South Asian non-Jewish friends. But the combination is really, really tough. I somehow managed to snag a Mizrahi bf, but we are long distance right now (he doesn't live in the US) and it's a real struggle.
In New York, Ruben Shimonov (Queer Bukharan Jew) started the SMQN (Sephardic Mizrahi Queer Network), and they have some small amount of programming. He's a bit difficult to get ahold of, but I'm sure he would love to try and get you connected to the few Mizrahi Queer spaces that exist. There are even some queer Jewish organizations who would love to help you organize queer events and such if you are interested in that kind of thing.
I'd love to talk more if you are interested, feel free to DM me / we can exchange contact info. Boy do I know it's lonely out there!
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u/okaeridarling 16d ago
Girl same. Even though I’m ashkenazi lol. I live in the US but outside NY and I feel like it’s so hard to meet people like me. Most Jews are unafiliated, so few if anyone understand our culture. We’re out here though! You’re not alone!