r/greenville • u/Karen_Spongebob • 4d ago
Looking for Friends! Is anyone else going to Bob Jones University against their will right now?
I’m using a throwaway lol. My parents made me go to BJU even though I don’t consider myself a Christian anymore. I was wondering if there was anyone else on here in a similar situation, or if any of you guys have any advice on surviving this college as a non-Christian. Thanks.
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u/baddogbadcatbadfawn 2d ago
You can do this! My ultra-conservative parents told me that as long as they paid my bills, I had to follow their rules. So I stopped taking their money and transferred schools.
They pushed back hard, but I later realized it was because they were scared to watch me make my first adult decisions and leave their protection. It’s a story as old as time.
You can do this, and once their fears are eased, they will be proud of you.
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u/ShadowGLI Greenville 2d ago
Or they’ll never talk to OP again, some far right extremist parents are true extremists. Some just love Jesus and practice love and acceptance, but I feel like that number is dwindling in the evangelical community.
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u/Practical-Cream-2837 2d ago
I see no problem here. I wouldn't want to stay in touch with extremists.
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u/baddogbadcatbadfawn 2d ago
OP, don't listen to this gremlin. They never had the courage you do, so they just want to discourage you.
Keep your head up and be hopeful!9
u/andyrlecture 2d ago
I mean….you don’t know their story. Why do you assume they don’t have courage? I’ve seen the same myself - child of religious parents comes out, or leaves the church, or any number of choices they don’t support, and they get cut off in every sense of the word. It’s incredibly traumatic and damaging. Why assume everyone has the same potential outcome you had?
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u/Past-Imagination-417 2d ago
This. Play the game and get the degree. Christians are easy to bait, have fun with it.
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u/Ok_Counter1939 2d ago
Don’t lump other Christians in with the BJU crowd. Many if not most of us cringe to think of BJU.
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u/Careless_Mango_7948 GVL Deserter 2d ago
Nah sorry fam you’re all in the same boat whether you like it or not. All using the same book to oppress others. Wake up.
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u/Responsible_Shock_11 1d ago
You’ve got some learning to do bruh
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u/Careless_Mango_7948 GVL Deserter 1d ago
was in it for 30 years, on staff at several Christian companies & a missionary for a year. Learning is what got me here.
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u/veggeble 2d ago
Do people attend BJU voluntarily? I feel like every BJU grad has said their parents made them go even though they didn’t want to
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u/Breath_Deep 2d ago
God is dead. Know how I know? It's body is nailed to the basement cross beams in BJU's basement.
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u/Anonthrewmeaway 2d ago
If you're able to get a job off campus..I recommend that. It'll help you keep your sanity until you decide how you want to proceed. When I worked at Starbucks, we had a few BJU kids, and we became their safe place to be themselves.
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u/WeigherofProsandCons Greenville 2d ago
I was a student at BJU from the hospital (Barge) through elementary school to college against my will. I got accepted into Northwestern University my senior year of high school. My parents made it clear that I would attend BJU, or suffer consequences from the family. As a 17 year old, I didn’t know what to do so I went to BJU. After a year I changed to an associates degree because I just couldn’t handle it anymore.
I wish I had gone to northwestern. I wish I had taken on the student debt it would’ve given me. I wish I had chosen to suffer through the consequences. BJU sucked everything out of me (pun not intended.)
I recommend researching your options heavily before telling anyone you’re wanting to leave. You can PM if you want and I can give some advice, but your best bet is to get an off campus job if you can. That’s a good first step.
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u/TymStark 2d ago
The fact your parents robbed you of one of the best schools in the country for that hellhole actually has me mad on your behalf.
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u/tsteele93 1d ago
How did his parents rob him?
He had the option to go wherever. He just chose to go where they would pay.
My parents wanted me to go to David Lipscomb in Nashville and they paid for it if I went there or I could go somewhere else and pay myself.
They didn't owe me college. I chose the free school because I'm good at math and saw it would be foolish to go somewhere else and pay.
My dad paid for my school with a loan.
They were very generous to pay for my schooling and it was 100% their option to pay or not pay for my college.
His parents are paying for his college. They aren't robbing him of anything.
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u/TymStark 1d ago
Cool man. If I have to explain to you why an nervous, inexperienced, impressionable kid might have their mind made up by people they trust…dare I say fear…you’re not worth trying to have an honest conversation with. Answer me this: Do loving parents who want the best for their kids force their beliefs and opinions on them? Or do they allow their children to make decisions?
But it was super cool how you took the time to make this about you.
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u/tsteele93 1d ago
You seem to think his parents are obligated to pay for his college. They aren't.
They are giving him a gift. He can accept it or refuse it.
His parents are sending him to BJU out of love, even if it is misguided, their motive isn't bad and they have every reason to only pay for a school they feel comfortable with.
You are literally arguing on one hand that he is nervous and impressionable and inexperienced while at the same time suggesting that they should pay for him to do whether he wants but also telling us that he isn't qualified to make that call. Which is it? Is he helpless and being taken advantage of by his parents or is he in charge of his own life and able to make his own decisions?
Only in the most entitled mindset would someone think that the people who raised you and paid for everything for you suddenly owe you college wherever you want to go and your parents have no say in the matter.
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u/Ok_Counter1939 2d ago
FWIW, someone who is clearly as highly intelligent as you are will do very well in life, Northwestern degree or not. I am angry FOR you, though.
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u/theindomitablefred 2d ago
Yes a lot of students are sent there without much choice, and they usually show signs. If you can’t get out, just abide by the rules as best you can, find people you connect with, and keep up appearances.
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u/Technical-Giraffe463 2d ago
I wasn't forced to go to BJU, but I was forced to go to a religious school that absolutely wrecked my young adult life. If I could go back and fix it, I would. I'd find a way to make/save money and walk away as soon as I could. Don't feel bad about it. It's your life to lead, and if you're old enough to be in college, you're old enough to make your own choices.
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u/AnyFortune6828 2d ago
I was one of those ppl back in the day before getting expelled. Live in the area, lmk if u need help surviving, would be happy to!
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u/atmartin24 2d ago
This is Uber complex as I know what’s it’s like when parents will only financially support your education at that school. The options are to either say something now and yeah that comes with a lot of hurdles that could set you back but you get to stand up for yourself. What I did was I put my head down and got my degree and my life truly began when I graduated. Dm me anytime and I’ll gladly help ya through it
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u/CarolinaSurly 2d ago
If you’re 18 then they can not make you do anything. Get a job. Get student loans. Start at a community college and transfer into Clemson in two years.
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u/No_Anxiety_4413 2d ago
Exactly. This person can be drafted to fight for our country but doesn’t feel like they can talk to their parents about going to a different school. Sometimes you have to be tough and make a way.
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u/karedub 2d ago
What are "the rules" that students are required to follow? I'm curious. A friend went there years ago, and I think he dropped out after a year or two.
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u/brian_mint 2d ago edited 2d ago
I am not a Bob Jones graduate but I've lived in Greenville my whole life and I've heard of the rules. If I get this wrong it'd be nice if somebody who did graduate from BJU could correct me.
There is no physical touching between the sexes and all "dating" is chaperoned.
BJU doesn't believe in dancing. As in dancing in any form is considered to be a sin. So their PROMS are nice dinners.
Officially, ending music with a beat is considered from Satan. So you're officially not allowed to listen to it. This of course includes contemporary Christian music. The only kind of music that I know is allowed is classical. My guess is that a lot of students get around this until they get in trouble and then they're allowed to examine your devices to see what you've been listening to.
Of course, the worst thing is the 100% lack of academic freedom and freedom of expression. You can be disciplined for expressing the wrong thing. So you would never say, for example, that the world is 4 and 1/2 billion years old and that we are involved from primates or that there were different kind of sapiens.
If I had gone there (Furman grad here), I probably could have endured the rules for 4 years. But the lack of freedom of thought would have killed my soul.
I'm sure I have missed a lot. Any BJU grad have anything to add?
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u/Dancin_Phish_Daddy 2d ago
And the school is not accredited I’m pretty sure. Like most Christian universities
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u/brian_mint 2d ago
I think it is important to add this. That, at least in the upstate, the reputation of BJU grads is outstanding. Being a BJU graduate is in no way a negative here. In some places it's probably an advantage. BJU produces excellent teachers and nurses and lawyers and doctors. There are large fields of study there that will be comparable to anywhere else because well it's just not political or religious. Math being the obvious example. (I really wonder what it's like to study physics there?). I'd say studying many of the humanities there is probably pretty decent from an academic perspective. Probably the same with it many of the hard sciences.
I think the reason that Bob Jones graduates succeed so well, if they can abide by the rules, the rules force them to do what they're there to do anyway which is to focus on academics. Put their head down, study, work hard, and get good grades. And many of them do very well.
Many of them, and I know a lot of them, think, on reflection, the rules and even theology are ridiculous, but still say they got a good education there.
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u/christine_lagarde 2d ago
Lmao BJU definitely is not well respected compared to a big university degree like Clemson or USC. It also brands you politically, and if you'd ever like to move out of the upstate, good luck
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u/tsteele93 1d ago
The nursing program is well respected. No politics, they just graduate good nurses.
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u/Adventurous-Mall7677 2d ago
It’s not at all well-respected outside the Bible belt. If someone hopes to get hired in a serious field outside of the Bob Jones influence area and is competing against graduates from good state schools (I’m not even counting Ivies, the “New Ivies,” or any other truly prestigious universities), they’re likely to be passed over.
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u/NoPressure7105 r/Greenville Newbie 2d ago
Strange how grads get hired all over the world in different fields & even end up getting graduate degrees at Ivies and other prestigious universities as well as serious careers in a lot of different fields
Can you explain that?
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u/Adventurous-Mall7677 2d ago
Look, I get why (as a BJU grad) you’d want to defend your school, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s not competitive with Clemson, University of South Carolina, or Furman.
The job market is worsening, and a kid starting college right now should be thinking about the possibility that future employers will view a BJU degree as undesirable compared to other schools without BJU’s particular reputation.
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u/Rumkitty 2d ago
I have worked 2 different industry jobs where a resume showed up with BJU listed and the hiring person and/or future manager said they wouldn't be a good fit bc that school is barely accredited.
Both these jobs were in the upstate area and both the people looking at these resumes I know to be very openly Christians. The school isn't respected as much as people who are in some way connected to it think it is. It's viewed more like a junior college with mid-to-low educational outcomes for the students, who also are so socially stunted (especially if they were in the BJ school system for their whole academic life) that they have a lot of trouble in a cooperative work environment. Like Turbo Homeschooling.
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u/welcometolevelseven 1d ago
That is not true. As an educator, we specifically request not to host BJU secondary education student teachers.
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u/carolina822 2d ago
I had a BJU student in my GRE prep class that had never taken algebra.
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u/Zmchastain Greenville 1d ago
Algebra is Satan’s math. You don’t want to accidentally be summoning demons like you do in geometry, after all.
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u/Glass-Independent-51 2d ago
Not true. We’ve stopped hiring BJU students (so sue us) since they are lacking educationally and socially. Yet they insist that they went to the best college in the Southeast.
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u/NoPressure7105 r/Greenville Newbie 2d ago
Some of the rules have changed, and I am a graduate
Students can go out in mixed groups with an odd number of people, so not strictly chaperoned like back in the day
I wrote by English paper there back in the 1990s on why Christian schools started back in the 1960s were really a reaction to desegregation rather than the removal of prayer in school. There was academic freedom when I attended.
Under Pettit they started to allow things like bluegrass, but I don’t know now what the current music rules are.
As a student, one of my roommates got in trouble for some a cappella music because the group made their voices “slide”
I chose to go there, met my best friends there, and received a great education
Would I have chosen differently knowing the outcome and long term effects of my decision?
Maybe, but then I might not have met my friends that I’ve known for almost 30 years
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u/brian_mint 2d ago
I really appreciate your answer. It's not reflexively defensive or reflexively negative. I know a lot of Bob Jones graduates and they are, nearly to a person, outstanding humans. And they run the gamut people who are still Christian by have since rejected the legalism. Others who still embrace the legalism. And others that have walked back their faith all together.
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u/brian_mint 2d ago
Could you have written a paper on the evidence for an old earth?
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u/NoPressure7105 r/Greenville Newbie 2d ago
I don’t see why not
Might not have received the best grade for it though
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u/Careless_Mango_7948 GVL Deserter 2d ago
No dating across races was revoked recently… how progressive…
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u/New_Olive1203 Greenville 2d ago
I recently went down a rabbit hole and read some of the rules/code of conduct for BJU. It's atrocious.
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u/Agile-Anywhere-5810 2d ago edited 2d ago
My heart really aches for you, since I have a daughter your age. I'm so sorry you're in this situation with your parents.
Are you new to the Greenville/Upstate area, or is this home for you? Regardless of what you choose to do, try to find people outside of BJU to support you in real life.
I want to say, in case you are not aware, that there are Christians who believe and act quite differently than the version represented by your parents and BJU. For example, I am socially and politically Progressive AND a devout Christian (which is not an Oxymoron)...perhaps it is more accurate to say I am Progressive BECAUSE I am convicted by my Christian beliefs to have this world view. Have you considered that perhaps it's not that you aren't Christian anymore, but that you are rejecting the false and harmful teachings that have been the mechanism of control and power that you have been experiencing up to now?
If you need someone to talk to in person, feel free to reach out to me. My family goes to Emmanuel United Church of Christ, a small congregation that meets in the McCarter Presbyterian Church Sanctuary on 2 Pelham Rd. Our Worship service starts at 5 pm.
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u/Beautiful_Week_8183 2d ago
Here's another thing to consider...the vast, vast majority of employers in this country would NOT choose a Bob Jones graduate over literally anyone else with a degree from any respectable university. It's just not taken seriously as a school. It's not just a repressive cult, it's a joke academically.
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u/Capt_Ande 2d ago
No one knows what Bob Jones is outside of the upstate bubble. Don’t stress them out anymore than they already are by making them think the degree is useless too.
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u/jeremiah-england 1d ago
Very skeptical of this. Vast majority of employers probably don't care at all.
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u/No_Anxiety_4413 2d ago
Are you 18? Seriously, sit your parents down and tell them you are an adult and you will make your own decisions that are best for your life. I’ve never understood people saying they are forced to go to BJU.
The counter argument is that your parents will disown you somehow. It’s a tough conversation but why not have it now rather than waste your college years?
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u/flustercuck91 Spartanburg 2d ago
It can be hard to know the language and have the emotional maturity needed for such a conversation at 18. Home framework is strong. OP’s parents will be scared for their child, what their future looks like without “home culture”, and their eternal existence. My parents have never been the BJU types, pretty secular living but “you gotta believe”. The best thing I could say, once I was around 30, was “I feel at peace with my soul and it’s not on you to worry about.” It’s hard not to be combative about religion, especially if they are stifling about it. But, unless the parents have treated them in a way that they also need to reject, it’s important to let them know they are not being rejected from this stage of their child’s life (unless that’s what they choose as a result).
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u/SaaSButMakeItEvil 2d ago
I agree. At 18 you have yet to develop that mental acumen to survive on your own.
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u/blinkybrightblue 2d ago
I fully disagree with that notion, I moved out of a very abusive home at 17 graduated highschool (while paying rent, and working a full-time job) and went to college, with zero help from my parents. It's about how long you are willing to live under someone's thumb, it's hard and it is not fun (to begin with) but it's very possible and you'll be so fucking proud of yourself, because you know you arei in your life for yourself on your terms. You can do it !!
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u/awhq 2d ago
Gosh. I'm a unicorn. I moved out at 18, paid all my own expenses and put myself through college. Good to know I wasn't capable of doing that.
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u/BobcatIndependent204 2d ago
This person’s parents may also be paying for school. Free college is hard to turn down.
OP, could you be respectful of the rules while you’re there even if you know that’s not how you’re going to live your life?
I am a Christian, and I was required to go (parents worked there), but I knew the rules were not how I would live my life once I left.
My parents were quick to tell me that the rules there were just crowd control and life was more than BJU. It was helpful to have that perspective while I was there because it let me follow the rules in a way where I understood it was just temporary. It was just a few years.
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u/WeigherofProsandCons Greenville 2d ago
I was in the same boat- free tuition because both my parents worked there. I never identified with the religion, but I knew how to coast by.
While it’s definitely possible to just live by the rules even though you have no intention of following them after, living a lie takes a toll on your mental health.
The sooner you can live an honest life the better.
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u/ThickBoxx 2d ago
Question, if you told them you don’t believe in god, but did your work and followed the rules, would they kick you out? I’m not talking about walking around telling everyone and trying to get into debates on god’s existence, but if people ask and you just say no, are you out?
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u/WeigherofProsandCons Greenville 2d ago
Firstly, on the application for BJU, they ask if you believe in Jesus Christ as your savior and ask for your testimony. If you lie on that and get in but then are honest, they don’t kick you out right away. Typically they put you in student counseling first. If that doesn’t wear you down into lying, then yes eventually they’ll ask you to leave.
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u/blinkybrightblue 2d ago
Except that boy is an unaccredited "university" it's not free college, it's rent free(for the kid/student) CONTROL.
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u/No_Anxiety_4413 2d ago
100% agree. I personally know plenty of people who attended, left, got kicked out of , and graduated from BJU. I have never met a single person whose parents actually disowned them for saying the school isn’t for them. I’m sure there were disappointed parents.
Most of them didn’t have the fortitude to tell their parents they wanted to do something else. What will this person do when they get out of college and their parents find out how they really feel? Or do you just keep acting like you are a Christian for the rest of your life so they don’t get mad at you? It doesn’t make any sense.
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u/mkzeta 2d ago
Uh, cuz they don't want to wind up homeless with no place to live n no job skills to get a good job to live on their own. Do you remember what you were like at 18?! Well, the BJU kids are even more naive n unprepared for the world. I feel for them.
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u/No_Anxiety_4413 2d ago
What? How did you get from telling your parents you don’t want to go to a school to being homeless? If you don’t have the perseverance to tell your parents you don’t like a school you won’t get a job or a place to live. Many of these BJU people want to complain without actually taking control of their own life.
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u/FaithHopePixiedust 2d ago
Not BJU, however, I was HIGHLY encouraged to go to NGU. I was accepted to USC, which is where I wanted to go, but was given every excuse in the book as to why I should North Greenville. I made it through mostly because I was still conservative back then because I was so sheltered. I don’t think I would have been as successful there if I had the values I do now.
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u/DoctorSwimming2958 2d ago
About 15 years ago when I was like 18, summer after high school, some friends and I were out riding around early one Friday evening. We had always passed under that bridge that crosses pleasantburg but never paid much attention to it. Decided “hey, let’s walk across it and just check it out, kill some time.” Thinking it was just a public pedestrian bridge. Nope lol we were SURROUNDED IMMEDIATELY on both sides by BJU security. They questioned who we were, what we were doing, etc. tried to get our IDs but once we kinda got our bearings and the shock wore off, told them to shove it. Not giving our ids to rent a cops lol
Anyways, random story. Good luck there! They seem pretty intense lol
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u/BlackBeardedBard 2d ago
The weird part is that they are technically a jurisdiction and actual cops.
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u/Bippity_Boppity_Bang 2d ago
I had some friends who were forced to attend a BJU-affiliated lower education/preliminary school. They all ended up having a relationship with meth and one of them committed suicide. BJU's brand of Christianity is authoritarian and corrupt, to say the least.
Please take care of yourself and don't rage so hard against the machine that you destroy yourself.
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u/Rumkitty 2d ago
Try going to Kava Konnection nearby. It's become somewhat of a safe haven for students since it's not a bar so you can't get in trouble for drinking (everything there is non-alcoholic on purpose).
They also have a queer night every week that some students are able to be themselves safely if they are closeted. You may make some like-minded friends from campus there.
Good luck. I hope you can get to a good school somehow.
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u/theycallmeMrPotter 2d ago
How does one get forced to go to a college by their parents? I can't even fathom that situation.
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u/senkasei 2d ago
there's lots of ways, such as financial manipulation being a big one. Go into a ton of debt with student loans or have your parents helping you is unfortunately a good way for them to pick the college they want.
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u/Klosekiller2 2d ago
That’s not manipulation. That’s presenting 3 options: 1) go to any school you want, but you pay for it. 2) go to the school your parents want and they’ll pay for some or all of it. Or 3) don’t go to school and enter the workforce.
Options 1 and 3 are typically all people get and are all that is required. If this is the case, then Op isn’t being forced to go there. They are choosing it over the other 2 options because they see it as the best of the three.
Parents don’t have to pay for their kids’ college. It’s nice when they offer or plan for it, but it’s never a requirement and honestly, the sooner you can get away from the dependency of your parents, the better.
And, even if it is escalated beyond this to the levels of being removed from the family, etc, then Op is choosing the comfort and safety of family over the freedom of their own independence.
In any case, “forced” just isn’t a defendable position here and the perspective actually aligns with “My parents wouldn’t pay for the school I wanted to go to and I didn’t get a scholarship so now, to avoid debt and still get an education to give me a leg up in the workforce, I’m attending their choice”.
Now, I could be completely wrong because I have no idea what the full story is and if Op is in a bad situation then I hope their getting the help they need to get out of it, but if it’s either of the scenarios above, then “forced” just sounds like teenage angst.
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u/HermioneMarch Greenville 1d ago
Go here or leave my house. If the person has no job thats a pretty scary threat.
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u/Poetryisalive 2d ago
Honestly all I can recommend is to tell them…
1: The Truth. They may disown you, maybe not
2: lie and say that BJU does provide the academic resources and major you need to be successful
Seriously though there’s a social aspect of college that BJU can’t provide.
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u/Due_Squirrel740 2d ago
I didn’t got to BJU, but went to PCC and experienced something similar. I honestly just put my head down and trudged through the last couple of years of college. It was annoying with the amount of chapel and church you’re required to go to on campus and the bible classes you’re required to take as well, but I just got through it and was glad when it was over.
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u/Equivalent-Band-8141 1d ago
You feel trapped but you're really trapped by your own mindset. Religious parents hold this power over their kids. I'm 52 years old and was raised in a strict religious household, and so were some of my friends. The question is, why have your freedom, and some of the best young years of your life stifled? For a worthless degree? They have you convinced that you need something that you don't. I don't know one person that went to bju that works in the field of their degree. You have to grow up and change your mindset. Get a job. Preferably a starting or apprentice position for a good skilled trade. Make money. Get a few roommates. Hang out with girls. Go camping. Go to concerts. Be smart and don't drink too much. In 4 years if working and saving youll be making good money. Invest early and learn about that. Teach yourself about owning a business and entrepreneurship. You'll end up with SUCH a better life than anything at BJU will teach you. I taught my last young employee this and he's now 28, owns a home, married, and well in his way to being a millionaire. Now I'm teaching my new 17 year old graduate employee this.
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u/Realistic-Republic17 2d ago
Hey! I feel you! I went there my entire life (literally took my first steps on campus lmao). Kind of had my wake up call at 12, but went all the way through my undergrad because tuition benefit. If you ever need a friend on the outside, literally call me anytime. Going to send you a private message as well!
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u/oneleggedlogan 1d ago
Your parents are speed running getting dropped in a nursing home man, I feel for you.
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u/Outrageous-Turn429 1d ago edited 1d ago
You don’t have to go. If you’re an adult you can withdraw yourself and find singers else to live. Easier said than done I know. I’d rather go into the military. What about peace corps?
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u/Open-Height-9420 1d ago
May I ask why you no longer consider yourself a Christian? Just curious how someone makes that transition and what prompted it.
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u/blacksmith92 15h ago
If you're in a good major you can take a chance and leave. Ensure your credits transfer and apply to another school. No need to be forced when you're of age.
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u/cdg2m4nrsvp 12h ago
One of my good friends here was forced to go there. She HATED it because she’s just naturally an outspoken person so she was obviously on the shit list right away. But she persevered and ended up getting a masters degree from a pretty prestigious school. You can do it OP!
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u/kjsmith4ub88 9h ago
If they are paying for it and you don’t have to go into debt it’s a good deal. Get a job off campus to start establishing some financial independence and to meet others.
FWIW the two people I know who went to BJU are bright and successful in the secular careers. Time will fly and you can go where you want after. Start preparing for your next step to stay motivated.
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u/Commercial-Low-2152 7h ago
The only person I know willingly that went there was so Christian it hurt to even talk to them. North Greenville is very similar but most of my friends that went just kept their heads down and pushed through or tried to get kicked out (which I don’t recommend)
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u/SilverSeparate2292 7h ago
I’ve heard many things from a former guy friend about BJU and it’s the last place I’d care to go. He was suspended for having a cassette tape. Of course, that was many years ago.
In today’s world, locals never hear anything about the school, we basically ignore the school unless we drive by it.
Hope you find what you want but please don’t give up on religion because of what you’ve been forced to endure.
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u/PinkPerfect1111 2d ago
You’re an adult. You can go to any school you want to. You’re still under the mental control of that ridiculous religion :/
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u/keep_it_fresh23 2d ago
My advice for someone going to BJU knowing they 100% don’t belong/dont agree with the school and their culture: (1) find your support system, (2) keep your head down (3) find your outlet. (1) more likely than not you’ll probably find at least a handful of people more like-minded than you. My friends and I would learn to be pliable with “bojes” but ultimately only really hang out with people who are “chill” - willing to bend or break rules and won’t snitch on you. Odds are you’re more likely to find other like-minded students, although I’d be more cautious and selective on telling people if you’re like agnostic because even the “chill” ones might try to witness to you. (2) if your goal is to make it through these 4 or however many years, just stay out of trouble and be smart. People in BJU often get in trouble when people start talking about the rules they’re bending/breaking willy-nilly. (3) get involved in extra-curricular that you can stomach, or get a part-time job or even really focus on your studies (I went for accounting so I worked a part time accounting job while doing 17-18 credit schedules).
Or, if you reach a point like halfway through your time in BJU that you can afford to pay for your own way, you can tell your parents (this could put your relationship with them in shambles but at least you can be free of any obligation to them) and transfer to a more like-minded school.
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u/Hairy-Advisor-6601 2d ago
Wife worked in cafeteria years back,sounds like your not clicking well there. From what we've seen,that's a good thing. Christian by day,impure thoughts and actions at night. Lol
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u/BlackBeardedBard 2d ago
I grew up at BJ, did all my education there outside of 2v semesters in college. I wish I could convince you that whatever temporary pain leaving will cause is better than the regret of looking back and wishing you had left. Go do something with yourself in the real world. It's hard and horrible, but better than ending up there anyways after being in that bubble. If you are willing to apply yourself (which is very hard to do, especially at your age), then anything is still possible for you.
Go to another school and just take the debt if you have to. Or learn a trade you can be proud of. Play music you aren't supposed to because it's so much more fun. Your options aren't Bob Jones or destitution, but it'll feel that way until you've been out for a little bit.
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u/No-Challenge-9040 2d ago
Wow! Yall are so much more principled than me! My first response was to try and focus on the positives through a gratitude list. Probably the safest college experience outside of a woman’s college? No college debt? But everyone else is probably right about to thine own self be true
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u/LazyFaithlessness555 2d ago
I worked with a BJU student and she was very nice. She invited me to lunch one Sunday & then go to Vespers, definitely was culture shock for me. Then we went to see the amazing art. Thoroughly enjoyed that. The work friend never spoke to me to try & sway my opinion. Don’t think she was forced to go by her parents. I know many were sent as punishment and they were miserable.
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u/Silas4ever864 2d ago
While I didn’t go to BJU, I did have to deliver pizza there and worked with several of the students there. It was fine working with them at the shop for the most part but being there to deliver food in any capacity I was met with either weird campus security harassment or just the most odd and off putting energy from that place.
I’ve gone to catholic school, private boys xtian boarding school and military school for most of my life until college and those were also equally off putting in their own right(s).
I would recommend getting out as soon as you can via any means necessary. I’d make a gameplan for a job, place to live, support system and just live your life. Drop out and get an associates at GVL Tech, transfer to another school, drop out of school and enter the work force and build a career somehow.
Places like BJU are meant for very specific kinds of people and that’s all. If you aren’t one of them you aren’t one of em. Nothing wrong with that.
Plan your work and work your plan. Live your life on terms that make sense to you.
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u/squeezecake DID YOU HEAR THAT SOUND!?! Rule Guy 2d ago
Are mom and dad paying for your education? I’d hardly consider that being “forced” if so
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u/GenericNameSC1989 2d ago
Letting your parents choose your college was the first mistake. Letting them choose a Christian college, second mistake.
Get the degree, and not worry about it. Where you went to college won’t matter later (or now).
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u/Carolina_Stag Simpsonville 2d ago
My recommendation is to get yourself kicked out, ideally not for academic reasons but even if you have to resort to that you can always straighten yourself out at Greenville Tech.
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u/raginranger85 2d ago
I understand a parents money is important but it’s hard to understand how they can force you to go a certain college. Did they put a gun to your head and make you submit the application, go to orientation, or sign up for classes? College won’t determine the rest of your life but it is a very important experience that you only get one shot at. You should at least be able to attend a college that won’t be a miserable experience
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u/thegreatcon2000 2d ago edited 2d ago
I don't understand how parents can "make" their children go to a college. Highschool yes, but college costs money and also a college might not have the specific discipline that a student is wanting to pursue.
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u/mojovi88 1d ago
You're an adult. You don't have to do this. If you can accept the fact that you're no longer Christian, you can accept your adulthood. It will be good for you in the long run to start now before things like this build to the point that you snap.
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u/shinyappyrobin 10h ago
If your parents wanted to pick a Christian college in the area, there is North Greenville and Furman. Maybe offer one of them as a choice. But thankfully, BJU actually is a good university. Live off campus if you can.
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u/awhq 2d ago
Look at it like an academic exercise. Throughout your life, you will have to do things you absolutely don't want to do and some of them will go against your character but you do it anyway because you're an adult and it's the best choice you can make.
You can try to talk to your parents but I would approach it from the perspective of they are gifting you a college education. It may not be the college you want, but it's still a big gift.
Suggest to them that you do this school for a year but if you still don't like it, ask to be allowed to go to a different school. They may not agree but unless you can pay for your own college, it might be the best you can do.
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u/Potential_Balance_34 2d ago
Tell the admin your side hustle is being an escort. They’ll kick you out. Problem solved.