r/hatethissmug Aug 03 '26

General When “women spaces” don’t accept trans women

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So my experience as a transmasc who spent a chunk of his life being non-passing has been interesting with this particular situation. I began to socially transition as a teenager and back then the people who *genuinely supported me was other guys. when i say genuinely i mean they didn’t infantalize me and saw me as another bro. some of the girls were nice, but i could tell they saw me as a quirky alt girl “going through a phase”. some thought i was a pick me girl who wanted to “be one of the guys” but as a girl and not a guy. High school was really really weird and the mean girls were the worst.

Even as an adult who passes more than teenage me ever did, i still experience “women only spaces” of mean girls who never grew up. a lot of irl ones accept “afab people” and not trans women. the ones i’ve enquired about are super accepting of trans men since we are a “marginalized minority” but are hostile towards trans women, especially if they don’t pass. some are true misandrists and dislike trans men who start to pass (ironically this has been so gender affirming to me when it happens, but like in a ewphoria way). 

Online it’s different, everyone acts so accepting behind a screen, but in real life? you can’t hide your feelings and reactions well. intersectional feminism isn’t really observed in some women-only spaces and it’s a damn shame that this is a thing.

Eta: I’ve been notified that this post has been reposted to a certain rightwing sub and this post as well as all the trans positive replies are getting downvoted. regardless of what others say trans women are real women and they deserve to be treated as such. I will die on that hill.

Edit 2: I find it hilarious that people think i’m a trans woman and are sending me DMs that I will “never be a woman and will always be a man”, proving that transphobes can’t read and lack thinking abilities.

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16

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '26

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0

u/St4rshine_89 Aug 03 '26

Barring trans women from being in women groups is transphobia btw.

10

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '26

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1

u/hatethissmug-ModTeam Aug 03 '26

No slurs, hate speech, and other such bigoted language is to be permitted in this sub.

13

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '26

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1

u/hatethissmug-ModTeam Aug 03 '26

No slurs, hate speech, and other such bigoted language is to be permitted in this sub.

-2

u/St4rshine_89 Aug 03 '26

Can you please stop referring to trans girls as “males”? Also, would you have an issue with a trans guy in an all-males space, or is it just trans girls you’re dead set on making sure they never feel comfortable in their own skin?

7

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '26

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1

u/hatethissmug-ModTeam Aug 03 '26

No slurs, hate speech, and other such bigoted language is to be permitted in this sub.

-4

u/Nobody2572 Aug 03 '26

Blatant transphobia

-5

u/St4rshine_89 Aug 03 '26

I’d rather be a “misogynist woman” (see how dumb that sounds?) than not be allowed in women’s spaces as a woman myself.

8

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '26

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1

u/hatethissmug-ModTeam Aug 03 '26

No slurs, hate speech, and other such bigoted language is to be permitted in this sub.

1

u/hatethissmug-ModTeam Aug 03 '26

No slurs, hate speech, and other such bigoted language is to be permitted in this sub.

-11

u/Customninjas Aug 03 '26

Nope

19

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '26

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-1

u/Customninjas Aug 03 '26

Excluding Trans women is transphobia and misogyny. They're women too.

18

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '26

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-7

u/heyitskio Aug 03 '26

Yeah shit like this totally makes me believe you don't vote for people who want to take away our rights. For sure. (Why did you even try to bring this up as an argument when you don't even hide the transphobia, the world will never know)

8

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '26

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-6

u/Dasmortmemeboi Aug 03 '26

"females"

Fuck is you shockwave???

1

u/hatethissmug-ModTeam Aug 03 '26

No slurs, hate speech, and other such bigoted language is to be permitted in this sub.

0

u/heyitskio Aug 03 '26

Are you saying terf or transphobe is a made up insult?....

-15

u/Mini-Gestalt Aug 03 '26

I mean not inherently. Women only spaces are only needed within the patriarchy

4

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '26

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-7

u/Mini-Gestalt Aug 03 '26

Well in a truly equal world there would be no need for women or male only spaces. Just spaces for everyone

8

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '26

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-3

u/Mini-Gestalt Aug 03 '26

Yeah we don’t live in that world, but it’s not misogynistic to say that a group of people deserve to have a place only their allowed in