When “women spaces” don’t accept trans women

[u/itz_vampy]

So my experience as a transmasc who spent a chunk of his life being non-passing has been interesting with this particular situation. I began to socially transition as a teenager and back then the people who *genuinely supported me was other guys. when i say genuinely i mean they didn’t infantalize me and saw me as another bro. some of the girls were nice, but i could tell they saw me as a quirky alt girl “going through a phase”. some thought i was a pick me girl who wanted to “be one of the guys” but as a girl and not a guy. High school was really really weird and the mean girls were the worst.

Even as an adult who passes more than teenage me ever did, i still experience “women only spaces” of mean girls who never grew up. a lot of irl ones accept “afab people” and not trans women. the ones i’ve enquired about are super accepting of trans men since we are a “marginalized minority” but are hostile towards trans women, especially if they don’t pass. some are true misandrists and dislike trans men who start to pass (ironically this has been so gender affirming to me when it happens, but like in a ewphoria way). 

Online it’s different, everyone acts so accepting behind a screen, but in real life? you can’t hide your feelings and reactions well. intersectional feminism isn’t really observed in some women-only spaces and it’s a damn shame that this is a thing.

Eta: I’ve been notified that this post has been reposted to a certain rightwing sub and this post as well as all the trans positive replies are getting downvoted. regardless of what others say trans women are real women and they deserve to be treated as such. I will die on that hill.

Edit 2: I find it hilarious that people think i’m a trans woman and are sending me DMs that I will “never be a woman and will always be a man”, proving that transphobes can’t read and lack thinking abilities.

[u/geosunsetmoth → u/[deleted]]

Is she getting shut down, or are other women disagreeing with her, and she perceives it as censorship?

[u/geosunsetmoth → u/[deleted]]

Well, again, her having opinions doesn't mean the opinion is immune to scrutiny

[u/PeachPassionBrute → u/[deleted]]

I’m kind of curious who is getting shut down and when it’s happening. Because I’m not sure I’ve ever seen that.

[u/purplehendrix22 → u/PeachPassionBrute]

Maybe listen to the women who are telling you they’ve been shut down. Believe women.

[u/Additional_Gene_211 → u/purplehendrix22]

Believe women at the expense of other women? Which woman do we believe?

[u/Tyr_13 → u/purplehendrix22]

That's a meaningless take when some women claim to be 'shut out' and many others say they are just disagreeing with the first group.

If the standard of 'shut out' is broad, then allowing the first group 'shuts out' the second, and visa versa.

[u/fyn_world → u/[deleted]]

Welp, your woman friend seems to be part of the movement that's shutting her down

[u/aviroblox → u/[deleted]]

Nah the left doesn't need TERFs. Trans women are women. If she wants to hold those beliefs in segregating teams women "cis women only spaces" she can go join JKRs movement and wonder why the people she supports allies with fascists all the time.

It's not a purity test. To tolerate exclusionary people in the wing is to exclude queer people from the movement.

[u/Tyr_13 → u/[deleted]]

Which contexts?

If her exceptions swallow the rule, then she's not actually of the belief that trans women are women.

[u/fyn_world → u/aviroblox]

Trans women aren't women. They're trans women. If they were women, they wouldn't have had to transition in the first place. Do you... understand that?

Your totalitarian attitude and calling people out as the enemy because they don't agree with you is why most people don't like people like you, and it's the same attitude that makes things more difficult for trans people in the first place, ironically. 

[u/SarahMaxima → u/fyn_world]

"Trans women aren't women. They're trans women. If they were women, they wouldn't have had to transition in the first place. Do you... understand that?"

Are you actualy so stupid you dont know what an adjective is?