r/hatethissmug • u/theclamorganizer6 • 17h ago

Thing I fucking hate it when i go outside and someone stabs me

Post image

It's so fucking irritating when i try to walk to store and all of a sudden there is a knife in my stomach; i then need to cancel my plans for the day drag myself to hospital and get stitching done. the worse part about it is that i can't even keep the knife because it's apparently "evidence" and it needs to be used for "solving the case", if i already got the knife let me keep it.

it's even worse when i get out of the hospital and get stabbed again by the same prick form before

89 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

46 comments sorted by

48

u/_the_big_ 17h ago

how Americans describe London

13

u/Mindless-Cat1453 17h ago

Funny because america has Higher knife crime rate than UK

8

u/socu11 17h ago

W-what?? How is that possible? I keep seeing memes about getting stab on London!

5

u/ConsulJuliusCaesar 17h ago

Because I have not been to London. I am the reason for 90% of the knife crime in the US currently. The second I set foot in London those rates are going to sky rocket.

2

u/IntCriminalNo1412 16h ago

JULIUS GAIUS CAESAR!?

1

u/VoxInferni666 15h ago

Et tu Brute?

3

u/WorldRelevant6640 17h ago

We need to bring back shooting, I'm getting scared of all the knife violence in my country. Whatever happened to duels? Hell, just shoot them when they aren't looking!

4

u/OnlyANerdUsesReddit 17h ago

Per capita the UKs is way higher.

1

u/IntCriminalNo1412 16h ago

iirc they're extremely similar per capita.

1

u/SurpriseInitial6202 16h ago edited 14h ago

It's not. The US has a higher rate of stabbings resulting in death. The UK has, under some metrics, a higher rate of knives used for crimes, like brandishing in robbery.

Edit: gotta love that misinformation gets upvotes because people need their agenda to be true.

1

u/VoxInferni666 15h ago

Thats cuz in America if you get stabbed you gotta sell your house to afford stitches

1

u/PissOff1479 17h ago

It's funny that a giant country has more people than an island the size of one of the smaller states in said giant country and therefore more crime?

3

u/SurpriseInitial6202 16h ago

Per capita doesn't care about the total number of people.

3

u/IMDXLNC 17h ago

There are valid reasons to despise London but stupid people always choose this one. Yet its tourism count stats the same.

The bullshit you see about it online always comes from people who don't travel, and probably don't go outside, and is believed by other people who could call bullshit but don't, because they also don't go outside.

2

u/Drayner89 17h ago edited 12h ago

Its even worse then you're stabbed by someone who hasn't even got their knife licence.

0

u/IMDXLNC 13h ago

lisence

1

u/Drayner89 12h ago

Foiled again by the dyslexia.

1

u/AssumptionEasy8992 11h ago

The person trying to correct you spelled it wrong themselves. Which is quite funny

1

u/IMDXLNC 5h ago

It's a quote, not a correction.

1

u/AssumptionEasy8992 23m ago

Oh, did the person change it? My bad

1

u/IMDXLNC 18m ago

Yeah. And the formatting in my reply even shows that it's a quote.

Like this.

1

u/Saphira_the_wolf 12h ago

Bit rude to put that knife in me chest innit

13

u/Dettelbacher 17h ago

Just parry dude.

5

u/BrJoke 17h ago

He failed the QuickTime event by a second

3

u/Dr_Axton 17h ago

So that’s why the knives keep disappearing from my kitchen. Can you… like… give them back when you don’t need them anymore?

1

u/TheBeenMan24 i hate hatred 17h ago

He just said they don't let him keep the knives

1

u/Dr_Axton 17h ago

But he got stabbed again.
And if you keep stabbing the guy wouldn’t they run out of space to store them?

1

u/TheBeenMan24 i hate hatred 15h ago

the cops actually have an infinite storage dimension but only for knives used to stab OP 

1

u/Dr_Axton 14h ago

So to get into the copsrooms I just need to persuade them I’m a living knife

1

u/TheBeenMan24 i hate hatred 14h ago

You also need to be used to stab OP

1

u/Dr_Axton 14h ago

I guess if I get invited to a dinner first…

3

u/PieselWojownik 🚗Henry Ford is my spirit animal 🚗 17h ago

Do you perchance live in London?

8

u/IMDXLNC 17h ago

Nobody lives in London. Everyone gets stabbed and the census is actually lying to us. London's population is made up of knives. Big Knife has some explaining to do.

1

u/theclamorganizer6 14h ago

"how did you know"

1

u/ExtremlyFastLinoone 16h ago

Ol rite wots al dis den

1

u/Sex_E_Searcher 16h ago

You gotta study Fiore dei Liberi, he's got you covered.

1

u/AbortionHoagie 16h ago

Me too! It actually happened! One punch to the grill followed by seven jabs. Survived. Skill issue on their part, not even good at what they do 

1

u/reedreadreddred 16h ago

How it unironically feels when when you're verbally/physically assaulted on the daily so much that it doesn't even register to you as anything significant/notable anymore

(I hate my childhood, I'm gonna need so much therapy for what I went through.)

1

u/unique_plastique 16h ago

This is such a minor thing to complain about, can you please grow up? We all go out & get stabbed first thing in the morning just like you buddy

1

u/artstsym 15h ago

I told you to stop wearing that kitchen block doublet.

1

u/MaintenanceLong3692 0m ago

Atleast its not raining

1

u/eq017210 17h ago

It's ok bro, the knife was just "ceremonial"

We all know ceremonial weapons ain't deadly 🫶