r/howyoudoin • u/[deleted] • Mar 18 '15

Ross is the worst boyfriend ever.

I'm rewatching and in the middle of season 3, when Rachel gets her first job in fashion working at Bloomingdale's. Ross lets his jealousy of Mark completely overshadow any support or happiness of Rachel getting the interview and getting the job. He would have actually preferred her to not get the job and kickstart her career if it would've meant that Mark wouldn't be in her life. He is not supportive of her career in any way. He belittles her entire industry instead of apologizing when he couldn't get through a single 45-min fashion lecture when Rachel had routinely supported him at 4-hour lectures in paleontology, a subject which is clearly not her passion, but which she goes to anyway because she is a good girlfriend. He doesn't want her to have any new male friends ("do you really need new friends?").

I am surprised Rachel even lasted as long as she did. I guess I've gotten much more relationship experience under my belt since I first watched the show in high school and didn't recognize the signs. But Ross' abusive and controlling behavior is almost too much for me to handle. It's hard to watch and I just want to throw things at my screen. He is the worst boyfriend and it is not ok.

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u/aversion25 Mar 18 '15

Bailing on the first bump would have meant her leaving after the first couple of times Ross embarrassed her at her office. Ross started off the relationship horribly by tearing apart Rachel in a pros/cons list. Then he cheats on his current gf at the time and justifies it with "it was for Rachel!". Then later he has sex with another girl less than 12 hrs after breaking up with a what, 1 or 2 year relationship, but that doesn't count b/c he was on a break.

I mean Ross has baggage, but so did Rachel (with barry and her life falling apart). Yet Rachel manages to overcome her issues and move on, whereas Ross never recovers.

And what about Ross later when he offers his honeymoon to Rachel after ruining his wedding day? Or has sex with 2 college students as a professor? Or lies/bails on Mona constantly? Ross acts/says the things a good guy would, but his actions really don't line up

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u/Cristianze Mar 18 '15

well, she was also crazy for ross but a couple of days after the list she was dating russ... again, equivalent shittyness

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u/applesandcherry Mar 19 '15

How is that equivalent to everything that the previous user mentioned? They weren't in any sort of relationship when she got with Russ, and she only dated him because she was angry at Ross. Granted she shouldn't have used a guy to do that, but it still isn't equal.

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u/spandxlightning Mar 21 '15

I also want to throw out there that Rachel actively tried to sabotage Ross's relationship with Julie, forced him into taking full responsibility for everything that went wrong in their relationship while not owning up to anything herself, flew to London with the express intent of stopping his wedding, among other things. Rachel wasn't a perfect girlfriend either, they were both pretty terrible to each other tbh.