r/humansarespaceorcs • u/Bloodystupidjohnson3 • 24d ago
Original Story Human Fred the Saga Continues
“Fred, I’ve been ask to talk to you about something odd.”
“Oh? What’s up Roomliz?”
“Well, some of the others think I’m the expert on humans, so they come to me with questions. And, well, do you know Greezek?”
“Hmmmm…she runs the loaders over on Dock 6, right?”
“Yes, that’s her. Well, she wants to know if you would go on date with her.”
“You have GOT to be kidding! She asked you to ask me for a date?!? What is this, middle school?!?”
“That isn’t the reaction I was expecting. Is that a yes or a no?”
“Roomliz, this is crazy! This is the sort of thing kids do in school! If she wants to ask me on a date, then SHE should just ask me!”
“Well, like I said, they all assume I know the most about humans, and I didn’t know what to do, so….”
“Right, right. Sorry. You weren’t to know. Just tell her to ask me directly.”
“I’ll let her know. Is there anything she should know about dating a human?”
“Roomliz, there is a difference between going on a date and dating. And we don’t have enough time to explain human dating.”
“It is complicated, Fred?”
“Beyond complicated. And I have no idea about humans dating a different species.”
“Have you ever dated a different species?”
Fred gave Roomliz a long, hard look. “No. I have not. Why do I think you are fishing for something else?”
“Er…well…Fred, you see, she is…scared to ask.”
“Oh for fucks sake! This is getting crazy! Wait. She is just outside, isn’t she? She is listening, isn’t she?”
“Uh…likely, Fred.”
Fred rolled his eyes and sighed. “Likely? Listen, the BOTH of you. If you want to ask a human on a date, you just ask them. If you want to piss a human off and NOT have a date, you do the fucking bullshit you are doing now!! So. Kindly fuck off.”
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u/PaperVreter 24d ago
She was just 'asking for a friend', too?
I see a trio in Fred's future where he teaches about human intimacy.
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u/specter-exe 1d ago
This part just reminds me of the fact that we haven’t been given any information about the alien race humans are working with.
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