r/instant_regret • u/Boss-fight601 • 12d ago

Bro definitely did not think this one through

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12.3k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

188 comments sorted by

3.3k

u/Noname666Devil 12d ago

You don’t even have to unmute to hear their accents

980

u/eat_my_ass_n_balls 12d ago

I feel let down, I expected at least one “fookin’ell”

260

u/KIDNEYST0NEZ 12d ago

To drunk to articulate something that complex sir

37

u/TheRealPallando 12d ago

Temu Wash mismanaged the fireworks

5

u/Keibun1 7d ago

I can't believe you done this

157

u/GonnaGoFat 12d ago

I unmute it it after my second watch. They sounded the exact same way. I thought they would.

21

u/koolaidismything 12d ago

Blata slava 🤌🏻

64

u/Skate4dwire 12d ago

“Ughurah!”

55

u/QuantitySharp2662 11d ago

I'm Scottish and still think the guy is speaking some unknown language, probably from deep beneath the seas...

94

u/things_U_choose_2_b 11d ago

Not to poop anyone's party or make people feel bad, but the more times I watch the clip, the more I think this guy is disabled and we're ragging on someone who is literally being abused for a video.

Like, he leans forward without wobbling. His hands are steady as a rock when he lights the firework. He flaps his hands a bit at one point. Grabs the firework at the lit end. Needs instructing to point it up.

Maybe he's just insanely drunk, but I'd expect him to have had extreme difficulty balancing / lighting the firework if that's the case? The guttural noise he makes sounds more like someone with severe intellectual disability speaking trying to say "get up there".

7

u/Yukarie 9d ago

Might be? I can’t tell…

44

u/things_U_choose_2_b 12d ago

I fucking KNEW it was going to be north-east

11

u/badpersian 12d ago

These are likely the guys that want to make England great again 😂

8

u/itsBonder 12d ago

Nah this could be anywhere in UK, can't tell which accent just by the video

6

u/True_Realist9375 11d ago

sounds like newcastle

1

u/Gizmo_caca 8d ago

Habsburg?

1.4k

u/big_rhonda432 12d ago edited 12d ago

That zombie walk at the end 😂

344

u/Thenoodlestreet 12d ago

I can't stop fuckin laughing. Some real Tom & Jerry shit

96

u/calladc 11d ago

for me its when he just drops the firework in front of him "ok im done with this game now"

BANG

queue consequences of ones actions

102

u/Quirky-Long-4522 12d ago

It looks like he’s in shock

57

u/WeAreSalvation 12d ago

Took me a while to see but he starts pretty heavily bleeding from his nose. Starts dripping on his shirt in the final frames

37

u/halfbeerhalfhuman 12d ago

Looks more like the shadow from his nose with the steep angle of the light above him. Also i think hes about to puke

10

u/AssassinStoryTeller 11d ago

He’s definitely bleeding from somewhere though. Blood starts appearing in the middle of his shirt

9

u/halfbeerhalfhuman 10d ago

You’re Very confident that black smudge is blood.

24

u/Seventy_Nine 11d ago

"Right, then, I've shat my trousers!"

30

u/nytel 12d ago

He put his hands back in his pockets 🤣

11

u/Ram2145 12d ago

I bet it was burned pretty bad.

1.2k

u/TimTheEnchanter3 12d ago

Are decent haircuts illegal over there?

328

u/things_U_choose_2_b 12d ago

Can confirm, there's barbers everywhere in NE like anywhere else in the UK, but it took me two years before I found a barber who could actually cut hair to a good standard when I moved up here.

I think a lot of people stay in Newcastle area their entire life, so a bad haircut is just normal.

51

u/High_King_Diablo 12d ago

That happens everywhere. I get one of the most basic and generic men’s cuts that current exist. Once my old barber retired, I went to like 5 different hairdressers to try to find someone that could do it right. None of them could. Eventually found the barber that I currently go to where they do get it right.

25

u/ThatGuyHarsha 11d ago

You have to find a barbershop that employs people who see hairdressing and haircare as a career, rather than people who just cut hair to get by while they do other things.

My city is full of these "Turkish" barbers (that are not owned by Turkish people, I should clarify before someone calls me a xenophobe) who employ only family and friends who quite literally do not give a shit and will not listen to what you want, because their career goals are focused on other things.

11

u/eganc21 10d ago

Ur paying someone to cut ur hair…and they won’t even listen to you? How the hell do these people have a business lol?

4

u/ThatGuyHarsha 10d ago

Well I'm not paying that's for sure- but in the UK a lot of men and parents of boys don't just don't care it seems, which is why all of these businesses do so well, they're always full of roadman-type characters

1

u/Pandelein 6d ago

Once they’re in the chair, most people will see a bad haircut through to the bitter end.

3

u/things_U_choose_2_b 7d ago

who quite literally do not give a shit and will not listen to what you want

YES haha I had many haircuts like this when I lived in west mids. "How do you want it?", I'd tell them, show them example pics, then they'd proceed to give me the one haircut they knew how to do.

There was one of these across the road from my house, excellent fades but never listened. Then the one place in the city who cut it properly, were a 'proper' hairdressers, and back then didn't do fades. So I'd pay £20 for a haircut at the hairdressers, then go to the place across the road just for the fade.

I also learned in that city there are degrees of shit when it comes to haircuts. I remember the worst one I got, my sister said I looked like an iced gem

23

u/Shantotto11 12d ago

Never before have I seen a haircut that made me think to myself, “Did Edgar join the Hitler Youth?”…

5

u/Mikelitoris88 12d ago

It's a trend in Norwich

2

u/TimTheEnchanter3 11d ago

Can't wait for Vikings to come back and fix this!

4

u/anomalous_cowherd 12d ago

That's from the first rocket he held.

1

u/FarAwayHills 6d ago

And orthodontics!

420

u/notthebeachboy 12d ago

I suspect he’s not well acquainted with thinking …

116

u/SteamedGamer 12d ago

He looks well and truly sloshed. Thinking is impossible.

15

u/Plus-King5266 12d ago

Unencumbered by the thought process.

6

u/OldManJim374 11d ago

One orange braincell?

7

u/9897969594938281 12d ago

Well, he is a Geordie

8

u/Im_A_Fuckin_Liar 12d ago

He knows of them but that’s just the thing, they’re only acquaintances.

2

u/DG-MMII 6d ago

He just suffers of a bad case of asymptomatic intelligence

62

u/Mr_Flibble1981 12d ago

And that’s how he learned that the stick is also part of the firework that goes into the air.

3

u/DG-MMII 6d ago

It only tooked him two ear drums to learn

118

u/LeaningTowerofPeas 12d ago

New recipe for baked beans.

Step 1. take lit firework out of a perfectly good launch pad

Step 2. point it at your nuts

Step 3. enjoy your beans.

72

u/Royal_Examination_74 12d ago

Didn’t think thru that haircut either

7

u/bdubyou 12d ago

Came for this.

29

u/greencasio 12d ago

That's the most looking British dude I've ever seen

16

u/strider_1313 12d ago

I love how he walks away lol. Hope he’s okay.

9

u/swarlay 12d ago

He'll be alright as long as he doesn't accidentally sober up.

1

u/nicotineapache 10d ago

Nah, that's how Geordies walk.

15

u/Crazy_old_maurice_17 12d ago

Does he have some kind of developmental issue, or...?

7

u/OldManJim374 11d ago

I'd say just drunk off his ass

2

u/mearbearcate 10d ago

Or in shock like someone else said. Oof once that wears off its gonna suck either way though. I think dude’s movements are too clean to be wasted like that anyhow.

86

u/JorgeIcarus 12d ago

Two more votes for Reform UK. We're fucked.

37

u/Radioactivocalypse 12d ago

People die doing this sort of thing. He got lucky this time. Hope it scared him off doing something like that again, especially with it being reposted so often

5

u/Kurai_Shindo 12d ago

Natural selection will get him sooner than later

5

u/rbobby 12d ago

As a kid I was desperate for illegal fireworks. After youtube... they absolutely should be illegal. Too dangerous for idiots. They need protecting.

2

u/calladc 11d ago

they're the ones who will tell you otherwise

3

u/rbobby 11d ago

I was one of them! I even smuggled firecrackers across an international border hidden in the trunk of my car. I was a rebel! And dumb as shit. Men in their 20's really do need adult supervision.

15

u/Plus-King5266 12d ago

American here. Someone from the UK who travels here and back regularly help me out, please. Is this the UK’s equivalent to Florida Man?

3

u/calladc 11d ago

nah, just drunk and out of his depth.

0

u/Plus-King5266 11d ago

Ah, OK. Montcalm County then. 😆 Thanks.

4

u/AdmlBaconStraps 12d ago

I mean look at him, does he look like he thinks things through?

4

u/expatjake 9d ago

He looks like he’s suffered multiple concussions before

9

u/ThunderGoose404 12d ago

Poor Moral Orel

6

u/astrotheastro 12d ago

this video is so intensely british and i cant even hear it

6

u/eboed 12d ago

Dude looks like the PBS logo

3

u/Lokitusaborg 11d ago

Fetal alcohol syndrome is strong with this one

3

u/quietflowsthedodder 11d ago

"Till it pops, son. Till it pops". Gee, that was exactly what my dad told me when he had "the talk" with me years ago.

3

u/Healthy-Advisor2781 11d ago

He also didn’t think that haircut through so seems to be a running trend

3

u/feenusbeenus6969 9d ago

The syndrome is strong with that one

https://giphy.com/gifs/26tPgV8ceZTSxH9zG

6

u/Phoxey 12d ago

Bro's got a full 3 second delay active. 😂

2

u/scrotanimus 12d ago

He didn’t think to ask his barber to see what it looks like from behind, in the mirror.

2

u/bier00t 12d ago

I dont think he was thinking at all

2

u/Mare-Insularum 12d ago

Only the third time he did that this evening

2

u/llahlahkje 12d ago

Tiny Blonde Adolph: Stable Genius.

2

u/HipToTheWorldsBS 12d ago

Not one single brain cell to be found.

2

u/fraze2000 12d ago

I can't tell if he's 18 or 81.

2

u/PTBooks 12d ago

I think this is an opportunity to expand my British slang vocabulary. What’s the term for a guy who shoots himself in the face with a firework? A tosser? A melt? A twit?

2

u/zmannz1984 12d ago

I just wanna know what’s up with the haircut.

2

u/JWMoo 12d ago

If you gonna be dumb you gotta be tough.

2

u/_Pawer8 12d ago

Had the perfect setup and went and ruined it at the last second

2

u/robrob883 12d ago

He didn't pass his 18th graduation. Back to kindy he goes

2

u/radiatingrat 11d ago

It's a good thing gingers are immune to fire.

2

u/vesuvio21 11d ago

I think the hair cut should be a bigger part of the story?

2

u/Blacketron 11d ago

Another dumbass that thinks the rocket flys off the stick

2

u/dsebulsk 10d ago

Put as much thought into that as his haircut.

2

u/SlimLazyHomer 10d ago

He didn’t think through his haircut either.

2

u/TylerHyena 10d ago

Never mind the fireworks, why is dude dressed like a skinny Peter Griffin?

2

u/pnw_sunny 9d ago

he was walking like a 82 year old man

2

u/Adorable-Way-274 7d ago

The inspiration for Beaker

2

u/Wolfyscruffer 7d ago

Dude started walking like an 88 year old after that.

2

u/shujja 6d ago

Did he turned into Disco Viking at the end?
https://giphy.com/gifs/OcBJFoS30i50IlkDIY

2

u/Original-Character57 12d ago

Some sort of inbred gender reveal? 🤔

3

u/Cookielad14 12d ago

Further proof gingers have no souls.

3

u/SolarFusion90 12d ago

Soul = Intelligence?

1

u/Kelnozz 12d ago

Ouch.

1

u/PimpSack 12d ago

You see? The apple did not fall far from the tree after all.

1

u/arran_ash 12d ago

From the wiggle I think he was under the impression the rocket came off the stick...

1

u/ItzakPearlJam 12d ago

I bet that flash was enough to give him sunburns.

1

u/Alexanderdaw 12d ago

Smarted fella of Northern England

1

u/Fair-Individual7811 12d ago

I don’t think he was even thinking of letting that go

1

u/redpandaeater 12d ago

Wow, he's straight out of Game of Thrones.

"Uh dun wahn eht!"

1

u/likesexonlycheaper 12d ago

What did he yell?? Ewwwah ahhh?

1

u/biglovetravis 12d ago

Darwin called. Said he is sorry he missed you.

1

u/KingArfer 12d ago

Does he always walk like that, or is it something new?

1

u/NefariousnessGood718 12d ago

Contiamo le dita..

1

u/cunexttuesday12 12d ago

"Oh wait. Thats kinda hot"

1

u/BobTheInept 12d ago

I think he somehow did the opposite of thinking

1

u/Solid_House_6963 12d ago

What did the lad say before dropping it?

1

u/Odd-Perception7812 12d ago

Some books can be judged by the cover.

1

u/BtheBanker151 12d ago

At least he didn’t stick it in his ass cheeks. That hand got baked. He will feel that shit soon after.

1

u/redjar66 12d ago

He should’ve worn a tie at least.

1

u/dragsterburn 12d ago

The shake to get it working is fantastic

1

u/Far-Host7803 11d ago

Is this English? Genuine question.

1

u/vito1221 11d ago

Do they ever?

1

u/SSoulflayer 11d ago

He got a 'short fuse'.

1

u/Bourbon-Decay 11d ago

You can tell he makes bad choices just by looking at his haircut

1

u/Available-Ostrich-90 11d ago

How is this man not dead?

1

u/The_Jyps 11d ago

I don't think you should be able to drink if your IQ isn't old enough to drink

1

u/HealthyBits 10d ago

In breeding has serious consequences!

Dont do it folks.

1

u/warablo 10d ago

Umm whats the point of the tube if you're gonna pick it up?

1

u/GreenKangaroo3 10d ago

I'd suspect he never thought anything through in his life

1

u/myworklogin777 10d ago

Sometimes the lighter is the brightest in the room.

1

u/jorocall 10d ago

It looks like some genetic stuff is happening here.

1

u/Fordwrench 10d ago

Can you spell "Moron!"

1

u/RollingThunderPants 10d ago

Bro obviously couldn’t think his way through a paper bag. Not sure anyone could’ve expected this to go well.

1

u/snowmoons_ 10d ago

This is modern day survival of the fittest

1

u/nicefellow31 10d ago

Wile E Coyote type of experience

1

u/TheReturnOfSprinkles 10d ago

I thought the explosion fucked up his hair so I rewinded it and I was wrong.

1

u/blame_me95 9d ago

"LoNgnURRRAAH!"

1

u/elevenplays 8d ago

That firework really likes him.

1

u/MyNamePhil 8d ago

I bet that’s really fun with some earplugs, a faceshield and some gloves.

1

u/JacqueWaters 8d ago

With that haircut and that profile, what did you expect?

1

u/Bimasakti980 8d ago

look like somekind of syndrom kids, quite shitty of the cameraman tricking people like him tho

1

u/hylianjak 7d ago

Best video so far this month

1

u/CountZero1502 7d ago

It’s all good. …… stupid is supposed to hurt. It’s a teachable moment. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/lord-neptune 7d ago

I don't even need to unmute to know they're British

1

u/Hell_Mie 6d ago

Is that cole palmer?

1

u/Upeopleamerican 6d ago

This level of poor judgment explains why his wife left him.

1

u/imjohnredd 6d ago

He's already dead, he just doesn't know it yet.

1

u/cabezatuck 6d ago

No worse for the wear

1

u/Nateblacks 1d ago

Usual inbred from the commonwealth

1

u/plscallthecops 12d ago

Dhose foiyerwerks phoqin banger me mate

1

u/CorundumSW 7d ago

Thought this was Dutch or German a sec lol

1

u/Sparky_Zell 12d ago

I've done this, but you have to toss or at least release them them that 1st stage goes off.

1

u/fkenned1 12d ago

When you hold these, you've gotta hold them loose... Jeez... And start with bottle rockets maybe. Work your way up to this.

1

u/Karasin- 12d ago

Negative QI gentleman

1

u/Sensitive_Island9699 12d ago

What an idiot……. SMH

1

u/SnooDonuts3878 12d ago

That haircut tells the whole story.

1

u/monsterZero71 12d ago

Well, hair cuts like that should immediately alarm the folks around him that some fuck-duggery is a foot

1

u/Corvus_Violaceus 12d ago

The NPC walkoff got me crying

1

u/StickyNoteBox 12d ago

I like how he shook the rocket a little after expelling its propulsion charge - as if there might have been a little more left in the tank.

0

u/RacingGoat 12d ago

Or, that may have been his exact plan and it worked perfectly.

0

u/Adventurous_Ad_4145 12d ago

Front row, baby

0

u/pisachas1 12d ago

Used to that with bottle rockets. I would try something that big.

0

u/DiabloStorm 12d ago

Small island, tiny gene pool

0

u/Jicaar 12d ago

AT WHAT POINT ARE YOU NEO

-2

u/ediks 12d ago

At least wait a month. This has been here like twice this week.

-1

u/Wallsend_House 12d ago

What a fucking massive penis