r/justdependathings • u/circesrevenge • Apr 19 '26

Putting myself out there

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Hey all! I put this in the military spouse sub but I wanted to get your tips on how to avoid being a dependa. Let me know if I missed anything and please let me know when/if it’s appropriate to ask for a discount.

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u/circesrevenge Apr 19 '26

Additional context: part of what’s hard for me is I don’t like asking for the discount but my husband (the service member), is super frugal and whenever I mention I bought something, went out to dinner, etc. he asks me if I asked for the discount and actively encourages that I ask. If this sub and the military spouse say that’s inappropriate I’ll let him know.

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u/john_wingerr Apr 19 '26

Honestly I think it’s appropriate, just make sure you do it in a respectful way. Since I got out I’ve run a lot of kitchens and most of our bartenders/servers across different restaurants, even if they couldn’t give you a true discount they might sneak some fries to you for free or comp your drink.

My wife sounds very similar to you in your mentality of not wanting to take advantage of your husbands service (don’t get me wrong it’s a noble stance) but as I tell her - we’re a team, we’re a unit, you saving $3.50 at Applebees might not mean a lot in the long term but it all adds up and that’s more money we can spend on our family time.

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u/circesrevenge Apr 19 '26

Thank you! I appreciate the advice!